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Judgment
Release
... "In
the mistaken belief that perfection is what is 'right,'
How to Release Judgments "Here is an easy way to do this.
...
"Guilt and blame are a continuum. [Old version: "When it's in you, it's
guilt, "Releasing judgments (blame) against others [Old Version: "Releasing judgments against
others
"The effects of judgment release are subtle
at first,
"... Releasing my judgments enabled me "My last judgment was to decide "I judge everyone and everything as good.
Channelers' note: There is more material about guilt and judgments on HealingToWholeness.com HealingToWholeness.com I still felt, I should quote it just as it is...
Healing from Guilt
They've
too often caused us to feel bad about ourselves The bad
news is that we have loads of this stuff inside us and lots of people
ready to help us take on more. Many
believe that guilt is a feeling.
Judgment Release Practice
The punishment and obvious
result of negative judgments is guilt. Guilt
and blame are a continuum. Does it
seem too easy? The effects
of judgment release are often subtle at first, but always cumulative.
My veranda today - June 1, 2005!
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January 9-21, 2011
~~~~Finetuning to my Present
continuation
of January 1-8, 2010
Arad, Sunday, January
9, 2011
1959 Weilheim/Tuebingen, Germany,with her husband, my teacher, Reinhold Mayer |
You would have become ninety years old today, These are the fruits of my learning since
Dec. 12, 2010: |
1973 Ramat-Hadar/Hod-Hasharon, Israel, with me in our garden |
(1)
I let go of my self-sacrifice-pattern concerning
money and comfort.
Whatever I grant graciously to others, I grant graciously to myself!
(2) In the harmonious relationship between me & my daughter-in-love I must beware of the small 'fires', lest they turn into a 'Carmel-Fire'. I must find a way to cause her to not suppress, but wholly express, when she feels triggered by me, but to express while I support her! I must find a way to make her ready to listen to m e supportively, when I -from her side- attract triggering of holes that need to heal. |
(3) I must be ME and not hold back my loving and my being available. But if, what I am, triggers them or -worse- lets them feel unworthy, I must NOT judge myself for not being able to manifest my desire, that all people should first of all feel worthy and love themselves. I must take responsibility for being a trigger, for causing pain, but taking responsibility does not mean, that I have to change. |
(4)
It is time for "lekhi-lakh",
for "go-to-yourself",
from 23 years of grandmotherhood to 10 kids,
as I let go of 23 years of motherhood to 3 kids.
[see
the signs already exactly a year ago!]
Whenever I had to move from security to freedom,
I heard God's command to Abraham: Lekh-Lekhâ,
go-to-yourself from your land and from your family,
... and become a blessing for all the earth's families.
[see often,
but especially in the library Biographical
Sculptures]
This lekh-lekhâ
in the masculine form is said only twice in the Bible,
once with regard to the security of the past,'the house
of your father',
and once concerning the security of the future: 'Yitzkhaq,
your son'.
But it is said twice also in the feminine
form, lekhi-lakh
[listen to
this new song in SongGame]
My beloved responded, and said to me:
'Rise up, my love, my fair one, and go-to-yourself!' For, lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone; The buds appear on the earth; The time of the nightingale has come, and the voice of the turtle is heard in our land; The fig-tree putteth forth her unripe fruits, the vines in blossom give forth their fragrance. 'Rise up, my love, my fair one, and go-to-yourself!' Songs of Songs 2:10-13 |
|
There is no satisfying translation in English, But as to the word "ra'ayati", "ra'ayati",
the female form of "re'a",
as in |
What this new lekhi-lakh
may (!) mean for me, I phrased on Dec. 25, 2010:
"It seems to me now,
that there are three intertwined assignments:
- to feel better by becoming better at feelings
- to help my Body heal and heal Creation
- to prepare for the
awakening of Love"
And I "pray":
Psalm
143, see the new threefold song
I am grate-full for what I was shown today,
Monday, January 10,
2011:
My "Communication with Deity" on January
31, 2008 in Healing-K.i.s.s.
...
"....But please understand once and
for all,
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Shoham, Tuesday, 2011_01_11
See the synchronicity of Efrat's "lekhi-lakh"
from all 'bosses'
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Arad, Monday, January
17, 2011
[How come, that in January 2011, I look just like
in February 2008? Efrat is responsible
for sculpting my hair, but until
Sept. 2010 my hair was long!
But, yes, there is one decisive difference:
I have learnt to do without glasses! except when I watch TV, or need to find
the sign of a street in a town...]
I'm
training, practising my new life.
"You've changed", said Mika , as if in brackets between other issues. She escaped my question: "what do you mean, I've changed?" I'm still working on the Good-Bye gift to myself, - to my "lekhi-lakh" from my Grandmotherhood: photos after photos, compositions after compositions, memories after memories. (Follow the sequence of images since Ayelet's Bat-Mitzva, on SongGame, through 23 pages] And I'm learning this
message even with concern to my starchildren, Lior
and Tzippi.
When I came home
with the dress and the pantyhose and tried them,
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Among
other precious items , there is a heap of old postcards next to my bed. I'm careful not to reach into it, because too many memories would come up, and I'm still not done with integrating what "happens" to me day after day. But last night, I did grasp a postcard - from my mother to my father in 1936! With strain I decyphered the tiny, tight Gothic handwriting on the back of the card. "After the Peter (obviously another card with a child), I'm now giving you a little Christel!" I was struck! The postal stamp indicated August 8, 1936, my parents married in May 1937, and I, their Christel, was born in August 15, 1938. How come, they knew my name two years before I appeared among this humankind? And what about the prominence of the month of August in my family-drama? On August 5, 1943- or so we were told 3 years later - my soldier father was killed. On August 7, 1987, my first grandchild was born and on Aug. 8, 1981, her brother. To add to "Elah" and "Alon" : Ayelet, the youngest grandchild, was born on Aug.14,1998, she is 50 years minus 1 day younger than me, and also her parents were born in August. Only 7 years later, not in August, but in December, Mika was born, the last of this generation. |
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Arad, Wednesday, January 19, 2011 When I told Yanina
during our weekly phone-hour on Shabbat, |
23 + 23 = 46 = 4+6 = 1, ONE.
I feel whole, I feel complete.
I feel zest-full and full-filled,
and continuously grate-full.
[see
my song about these goals!]
I'm ready & ripe for the one,
who matches M Y vibration,
but who also is so different and so separate from M E ,
that LOVE will express itself in hilarious CO-CREATING!
Abraham today, January 19, 2011 The Law of Attraction
Assembles Happy Relationships~ |
Arad, Thursday, January 20, 2011, Tu-bi-Shvat, The New Year of the Trees
"A
time for" being solemny serious and "a
time to laugh" about myself [see
song] both concerning my letting-go of Grandmotherhood and my letting-go of obsessive photographing. I read what I wrote already on April 26, 2010 [on the page of SongGame 2007_04_21] "This is the end of my intense, even obsessive creating of photo-compositions of Mika's Heaven-on-Earth. I'll look for criteria, which will help me to choose only certain aspects of Mika's life and my life with Mika. and again on May 1 (SG April25) I promised myself on April 26, 2010, that my intense creation of photo-compositions of Mika's Heaven-on-Earth is completed. Since today, May 1, 2010, I'm looking for criteria, which will help me to choose only certain aspects of Mika's life and my life with Mika. The criterion for the composition on this and the following page - which documents my presence at Shoham from April 30 till May 4, 2010 is: "outstanding experiences with Mika and her family" Moonlight woke me up in the middle of the night. 'Is it Full Moon?' 'Oh, yes, it's Tu-be-Shvat today!' Aren't 13 out of the 23 old pages, in which I inserted my "Ayelet" sequence, called FULL-Moon FULL_FILL-ment? And what about my beloved trees and their New Year? Every Israeli thinks of the 40000 trees burnt in the Carmel Chanuca Fire. And now we are told, that not even on Tu-be-Shvat should we plant, but "Let Nature take care of itself", since Nature knows better than humans! What about the 2 trees, which came with renting this one-room-flat 6 years ago? The pomegranate tree was nothing but a shrub and it evolved beautifully, but the apricot-tree (why did the first owner plant a tree foreign to this desert?) which stars so gloriously on this page, opened originally in June 2005? It began to become sick already 3 winters ago, with golden but sickly resin popping out of every branch. Ofir, my landlord, took care of it technically and I talked to it lovingly. Last summer even a lot of new shoots sprang up from the lower trunk. And then it died and almost broke my morale, my hope for humankind. I thought of the paradoxical prophecy of Isaiah 42:14-19 [see in Song-Game] to which I had recorded a tune already 2 weeks ago. Yesterday night I again immersed myself in text and tune. It was during one of the commercial breaks of the "Big Brother" Reality Show. [One of the participants, Yoav, cried in the "Confession Room": "What's happening to me? I thought, I had no feelings! This [the Big Brother situation] is tkhiat ha-regashot , a resurrection of feelings!] Studying the prophecy word by word, I realized, that I had overlooked the vocal under a word. This changed the entire meaning. Instead of: "The deaf hear", it is said in the imperative: "ye deaf! Hear!" and therefore also: "Ye Blind! See!" |
Because
of this relevation I used the next commercial break and asked to be inspired by another tune, singing it from my heart in one go, while recording it on my digital recorder. The crazy contradictions in the text made me see my dead tree and my solemn statement about myself yesterday, in a different light - as if they somehow would complement each other. I got up from my bed, thus interrupting my intense process of integration - by strong breathing (circular breath which I learnt in "Rebirthing") - by loud vocal yawning (see "how I learnt Moving Emotion Techniques) and of surrending to my Body's demand for twisting, wiggling, squirming, which - because of the hematoma below my right hip - was often a bit painful. I grasped my long skirt from the chair, threw a cardigan over my nightgown, reached for my camera and stepped outside to photograph my dead tree. It wasn't easy to catch the tree with the moon in its genuine illumination, and I thought of Itamar and the camera, now replaced for what he truly needs, and how he would do a better technical job than me . After several attempts of catching the beauty which my eyes saw, I returned to the dark room, slid off my velvet skirt and the cardigan, and tried to sleep again - to no avail for along time. I thought of Itamar and his last letter about having bought another camera. Though the camera was meant as a gift for his Bar-Mitzva in February, he used it already and sent me his "favorite photo" so far: see below! I thought again - like the first time I saw it - 'what a sign and symbol!' And I recalled the banale experience: photography teaches us to see. Ha! there I am: delighting in both, in photography and in my grandson. And I thought about Itamar's pregnancy, which was not taken into account, and how my daughter thanked me for encouraging her to let him be born, and about the Brith, celebrated with the greater family in his family's home, and how I was so ridiculously stupid, to leave the celebration in the middle, take a taxi [ I ?] to the airport, fly to Eilat, to a meeting with the municipality, together with my RedSeaPartnerSHIP partners Albert and Mali! One of the officials said to Mali, who had little Shalev with her: "How do you dare to come to such a meeting with a baby in your arms?" Nothing came out of this meeting for the realization of "our" (MY) vision. When my daughter asked me for a name for the newborn, her 4th child, I dug into my intuition and came up with "Noah", interpreted in Gen 5:29 as: But Jonathan, the firstborn, then 8 years old, suggested "Itamar". And since at that time my daughter still liked my "deep" thinking, I told, during that Brith celebration, about Itamar, the son of the first High Priest And this photo of Itamar, the tiny red flower below steps, isn't it a proof for this? When I woke up and put my feet on the floor, I saw yet another theme for a photo: see below! |
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The golden resin along the branches, which indicates the tree's sickness, is now dead , too, dead and as if crystallized |
The camera, put on "automatic" and "without flash" produced this: The Full Moon as a heart between the branches of my dead tree! |
Itamar - between sunlight and candle-flame, from "the Four Elements, 2007" |
"There is a red flower" was the title of our very first kids song, in February 1963. - Now, in January 2011, our grandson Itamar, born on Febr.24, 1998, .discerned it from underneath the steps, that lead from his garden to his home |
When I woke up and put my feet on the floor,
I saw yet another theme for a photo:
The colored long velvet skirt (from whom did I inherit this?)
that had slid to the ground around Ra'ayah's slippers in the middle of the round
carpet,
of which my landlady had wanted to get rid of about a month ago.
Beauty, beauty everywhere , be it in a dead tree lit by the full moon or in
human creations!
Arad, Friday, January
21, 2011, 10:30 AM
Qwiki
of the Day - Jan. 21
"Did you know George Orwell died on this date in 1950?
He popularized paranoia with novel 1984 and invented the notion of "Big
Brother".
Fortunately, he did not create the reality TV show of the same name..."
But perhaps - if Orwell had not warned of "Big
Brother", we, today, wouldn't have a show, which "Resurrects Feelings"
I've worked for another 2 1/2 hours on "fine-tuning" the compositions
of this page!
probably one of the rare times, if not the only time, I took 'all the time'
to complete!
Now I'll walk to the pool and on my way to and fro and while
swimming-swinging,
I'll complete imprinting into my brains, which have such difficulty to learn
a song... ,
what that prophet said about the woman-in-labor and the deaf & blind messenger:
14
I have long time held My
peace, I have been still, and refrained Myself; as a travailing woman I will cry, gasping and panting at once. 15 I will make waste mountains and hills, and dry up all their herbs; and I will make the rivers islands, and will dry up pools 16 And I will lead the blind by a way that they knew not, in paths that they knew not will I guide them; I will make darkness light before them, and rugged places plain. … 18 Hear, ye deaf, and look, ye blind, that ye may see. 19 Who is blind, but My servant? Or deaf, as My messenger that I send? … Isaiah 42:14-19, with some moderations of the bi-lingual online translation of Isaiah 42 |
Listen
to the song on the page with 10 prophecies The first line is composed of 13 syllables and so is the second line. The translators who could think only in linear time, assigned the first line to the past, and the second to the present. But they have no solution for the other contradictions! |
I'm proud like a school-girl who was praised in front of an
audience!
When, after a highly inspirational swimming and swinging in the pool,
I returned to the jacuzzi, just for dipping in a moment and warming up,
I happened to hear a man outside saying to one of the 4 women inside:
all
Thy waves and Thy billows are gone over me. |
What does it mean,
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Continuation of "Finetuning to my Presence" on January 24, 2011