I focus my experiencing and awareness on being
"a pioneer of Evolution
in learning to feel":
I let my Body vibrate and my Heart 'womb'
pain, shame, fear, boredom, powerlessness,
so feelings can >heal >guide>fulfill>evolve,
and ~~~ offer ~~~"goldmines"~~~ to us all!!
"I
want you to feel everything, every little thing!"
K.I.S.S. -
L O G 2
0 0 8
Keep It Simple Sweetheart
whole&full-filled, never perfect&complete
image
of the day I search for an image on the Ring
Muscle Breathing Page, and see what I find:
Tomer's hand in mine, as if on this morning of worry, he wants
to ease us all. Modi'in, Spring 2003, clipping
from a photo taken by his father, then on leave from the US
to see his kids.
hodayot [thanksgivings] for
today
7:38
My Body, my Partner,
I give thanks to our lower back for usually doing so well,
despite its waves of pains since 34 years,
which sometimes roared up into hurricanes
or once froze us into excruciating immobility.
I give thanks to all the exterior helpers with my back, to all those who maintain the swimming
pool and the water supply to it,
and to Paula Garbourg (1983),
Pat (1984)
& Aya Goldhammer (1984&2006),
who taught me the miraculous Ring
Muscle Breathing
for maintaining the harmonious flow of Body's living.
8:24
Though I feel already freer after the sculpting of today's "altar",
I need to describe the "waking-up-feelings" half an hour
ago.
Yesterday I watched those ravens above my Wadi of Compassion,
their qra-qra-qra were once the usual inner sounds in the morning:
ra'-ra'-ra', [ra' in Hebrew means "bad" or "evil").
qra'-qra': "What
will happen with T. today~~~"
qra'-qra': "How will his father,
having arrived at dawn, cope with the situation today"
qra'-qra': "How should I respond
to Yaacov's letter "nakhat"
which I received yesterday?"
qra'-qra': "Should I send that
letter to R., as strongly suggested by my daughter-in-love,
or
should I listen to my double desire: not to be hurt again and
not to cause guilt~~~"
qra'-qra': "Should I go back to
coping with the ongoing torturing question,
if
I should "do" anything about the non-communication of
my daughter or ?"
And then - stronger -
qra'-qra': "All those feelings
of shame that came up in sculpting the Nebo-Let-Go
page yesterday!
What
is my task in doing this writing, sharing, exposing what nobody
wishes to see?"
The response to the fifth qra'
qra' came immediately,
"Follow Will's Lead!"
It has been for years now,
that I can see the three women in my life,
my daughter and my two daughters-in-love,
as striking manifestations of "the
Mother, the Will".
Until 5 years ago the closeness between me and Ronnit was
wondrous.
As to my daughter-in-love Ra'ayah,
the gradual change from closeness to withdrawal began even
earlier.
With Efrat times of closeness and withdrawal alternated,
but after the last year of having been with her and little
Mika,
whenever my pilot son was on flight,
I dare say, that we've found the exact healthy beneficial
boundary,
which allows us to enjoy an ongoing relationship of honesty
and harmony.
It is this relationship with my younger daughter-in-love,
which helps me to not doubt my loving, caring motherhood,
but to accept and respect "the Mother's" wariness
of "Spirit".
And though I see myself as a clearcut manifestation of "Heart",
there have been, and maybe still are, remnants of too much
"Spirit"
(as badly developed by my upbringing and cultural background),
which are deterring my Mother-daughters.
Therefore I must wait - not in anger, but in compassion.
"GIVE THE MOTHER ONLY WHAT SHE
ASKS"
Please, help me with applying this approach - patiently,
consistently.
"When
she is ready, and in the ways she wishes[old:
wants],
I will bring the Mother
the healing power of my
true Light,
the Light of love, understanding and acceptance.
As you and I work together
on your awakening
to who you truly are, [old:
to Self],
I hope you'll also work with me
in bringing healing to the Mother.
I hope you choose to do this.
"Bruecke" - "Bridge"
was the name and the aim
of the German Expressonists' revolutionary art style some 95
years ago,
which is so relevant for Godchannel's message.
I'm grateful to the beautiful, deeply moving site
for the gift of this picture.
"GIVE
THE MOTHER ONLY WHAT SHE ASKS"
10:23
It's grey, drizzling, but so lightly, that only the surface
of the soil is wetted,
while the roots continue to yearn for real rain.
This time I made it - being home from the pool at 10:05 for
a 10 min. program
which I had forgotten about for months: "Lyrik fuer alle"
by Lutz Goerner.
And as if rewarding me, it was about Christian Morgenstern (1875-1914),
my most beloved poet except for Rainer Maria Rilke.
He was a sad, over-sensitive young man, searching for life's
meaning,
and yet he brought so much light and laughter into the world,
at least to those who have the priviledge to know German.
See the motto of K.i.s.s.-L o g , "Alles ist von Wichtigkeit,
alles ist nicht gar so wichtig"
but see
also the poem, "Wie kannst du nur am Morgen
das LIcht der Sonne borgen"
which has comforted me since childhood, and to which I finally
found a tune.
Here are two of his funny-deep-wise poems!]
2 images within ten meters -perceived
on my way back from the morning pool:
the mating of cat with a cat and the melting of a lemon tree
into a needle tree
11:04 While walking through the desert and
swimming-swirling in the water,
some of the qra'-shrieks attracted solutions, which I'll carry
out now. As to my son and my grandson:
I'll simply pass on that image message
of a child's hand holding a parent's hand.. As to Yaacov: a real K.i.s.s.- response came to me:
keep it simple sweetheart!
It swept away the junk of the 3 letters I had drafted on Friday:
and consolidated in 14 Hebrew words: "Yaacov, thanks for wanting to cause
me nakhat!
But what do you want for yourself from me? Rachel"
I also became certain about not sending
that letter to R. and within an hour sculpted m concise
understanding to Efrat.
There is still the last qra'-qra' of this
morning.
And I've decided to bring this directly to "God".
"directly" , for all the answers above were worked out in
non-verbal communication as well.
Though "God" strongly
recommends inner communication with "him",
and specifically advises
to do this by writing, The writing is good because it grounds and anchors
the information,
and gives you something to come back to
if you get stuck in another state
and are temporarily unable to access our connection
and though I had the best of experience with "Communicating with
Deity",
I have time and again - succumbed to my fear, that "i'm making
this up!"
So - after having immersed myself in three pages
of communication in Oct. 2004,
I feel a deep yearning to return to this direct communication and
stay with it!
In the pool one of my
most cherished biblical songs came to me,
this time because of its third stanza - from Psalm 73 - added only
last year,
it expresses the intimacy, I know I can have if I only want to...
The triangular pyramid on the background
of an Aurora colored sky, from
pp39
In the dialog to the right
"God" reminds me of my yearning for peers.
Which in turn reminds me of a
passage I rediscovered yesterday:
Since I have this free space,
I'll insert the full image of that yellow lemon-tree cuddling
in the dark-green fir:
.
To YOU AS ONE,
SPIRIT~WILL~HEART~BODY
17:20
I'm sitting here as if paralyzed,
I want to restart our verbal communication
I thought I knew exactly what I wanted to talk about,
but now I only want to go to sleep and neither talk nor write (though I had an unusually long nap of
one hour before I came to you).
To win time, I flipped through
- the Channelers' technique
of communicating with you by writing, my puzzle
piece 39 aboutDeity and Manifestation, my puzzle
piece 39b aboutthe Process of Manifestation and Creation Then I looked in my healing-k.i.s.s. library
for the tiny flashing tetraeder,
the triangular pyramid,
which symbolizes the four aspects of You, Me, the One, which I used in 2001-3 to quote aloud
most important sentences of yours,
like this one, for instance, which I now chose "by chance"
[click twice!].
I think it's not the communication itself, that
I'm afraid of,
but the heavy issue I want to talk about, the purpose of my creating on this website.
"You do not have to work this
out in one go.
I'm not running away, when you need to take a break,
on the contrary, I would love you to come closer slowly,
until communication will flow again naturally and daily.
You are so sad, that Yaacov failed to become your peer
in talking daily via Skype, in order to learn and heal together.
Can't it be Me, who'll be your
peer for the time being?"
There you are!
Thank you!
This is how I know you!
By your laughter!
So now - let me say something about the way I write,
though I don't even know, why I want to tell you this,
and what help I ask from you!
"But that's exactly how peers
work with each other.
In the past, when you agreed being a counselor/ teacher to people,
you demanded that they knew what they wanted from you.
If they didn't know, you tried to help them finding it out.
But it was always them who received your help.
Now you want a learning&healing relationship
which will be based on equality, mutuality and continuity,
where nobody plays teacher and nobody plays pupil.
This also means,
that you do not need to phrase exactly what you want,
when you feel like being with me.
Didn't you delight today in those words of Psalm 73?
By the way, you wanted to add a translation to your song,
don't you want to do that and thus postpone our talk a bit more? "
I'll do that, yes! thanks for reminding
me and thus easing my pressure.
'For Heaven's sake'-how can it be pressure to communicate with
you?
"That's the one thing I would
loathe to engage in,
the self-blaming game!
Get on! Find the verses in "Bible
Gate" , add them to the song page
and indulge in the Hebrew wording or "ve-ani- qirvat elohim
li tov"!"
Psalm 73: 23-24+28
, I prefer my own translation
As for
me,
closeness to God is good for me
I am always with you
you hold me by my right hand
with your counsel you guide me
Whom
do I have in heaven?
and with you
I do not desire the earth
On January 27, 1945, Auschwitz was "liberated".
Ilse Weber: Und der Regen rinnt, und der Regen rinnt...
Ich denk im Dunklen an dich, mein Kind.
Hoch sind die Berge und tief ist das Meer,
mein Herz ist müd und sehnsuchtsschwer.
Und der Regen rinnt, und der Regen rinnt...
Warum bist du so fern, mein Kind?
Und der Regen rinnt, und der Regen rinnt...
Gott selbst hat uns getrennt, mein Kind.
Du sollst nicht Leid und Elend sehn,
sollst nicht auf steinigen Gassen gehn.
Und der Regen rinnt, und den Regen rinnt...
Hast du mich nicht vergessen, Kind?
Two TV programs were relevant for me:
1) A group of one hundred young
Germans and Israelis,
which has been meeting annually for 7 years,
visited the former Concentration Camp for the first
time -together.
Friendships and even a wedding developed among these
people,
most of them journalists, or so it seemed to me.
One Israeli woman was extremely critical of any visit
at that place: "It leads nowhere! It is
not helpful for anyone! It's emotional rape!"
I must say - after my experience
in AUschwitz-BirkenAU
in Nov. 2003,
that I quite agree with her.
Nothing has changed in my life because of that visit.
Am I too old to be impressable? Have I "seen
it all?" Probably.
But if I would have been there, when I was "young",
I would have killed myself like Kurt
Gerstein or ended in a psychiatric clinic.
The options young visitors to
AUschwitz-BirkenAU have,
are either to become mad or to shroud themselves in
denial.
I've told on those pages, how the Holocaust has to
be "taught",
both to third generation Germans as to third generation
Israelis.
Only by telling them what I call "stories of
dignity",
stories about concrete persons, who had the courage
and the strength,
to behave or act in such a way,
that they were no longer victims but victors.
2) This was an interview with
the famous Swedish singer Anne-Sofie
von Otter, interspersed by some of the
songs, which
were created in Terezin, Theresienstadt. To listen to the lyrics and
tunes of these songs, [see
on January 30] this is truly a way to expose
ourselves to the holocaust, Those artists in Terezin lit
candles in the darkness,
and when we focus on these candles,
we are strengthened in our own coping with life,
The candles will emphasize the darkness, we cannot
ignore it,
but we shall not be overwhelmed by it.
I wished, I could get hold of
those songs and sing them myself.
One of them started with "Der Regen rinnt",
"The rain drizzles".
Didn't I mention today the drizzling rain?
Anne-Sofie's personal story was not less moving.
Her father, Göran
von Otter, was the Swedish ambassador to Germany,
and it was him, to whom Kurt
Gerstein told what was occurring in the camps. "He talked for 6 hours,
when they traveled together in the train,
often so loudly from pain, that my father had to caution
him.
The help didn't come and after the war Gerstein was
found hanged.
My father never overcame his feelings of guilt." As to the role of Gerstein's
destiny in my own story, I must tell it another time.
