| The
Purpose of HEALING - K.I.S.S.
- as stated 12 years ago - was and is
to help me and my potential P E E R s
"to HEAL ourselves into WHOLEness,
and - by extension - all of CREATion!" |
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I focus my experiencing and awareness on being
"a pioneer of Evolution
in learning to feel":
I let my Body vibrate and my Heart 'womb'
pain, shame, fear, boredom, powerlessness,
so feelings can >heal >guide>fulfill>evolve,
and ~~~ offer ~~~"goldmines"~~~ to us all!!
"I
want you to feel everything, every little thing!"
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K.I.S.S. -
L O G 2
0 0 8
Keep It Simple Sweetheart
whole&full-filled, never perfect&complete
Intro
to
k.i.s.s.-l o g + all
dates
January
25,
Friday, - at Arad
back to past ~~~~~
forward to future
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hodayot [thanksgivings] for
today
8:06
My Body, my Partner,
I give thanks to your very existence,
for without "embodiment" no intelligence!
as I learnt from a program about roboter-science [3SAT,
Delta]!
I give thanks to Yaacov
Hayat,
for your letter in my e-mail box this
morning,
written past midnight in order to immediately
share with me
how great Ronnit's four kids, my grandkids, did
on a musical evening of the Democratic School at Modi'in.
The "subject" of the letter was "nakhat",
and that's what you wanted me to feel: "nakhat".
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Klaus Mainzer,
2007- thinking in Complexity
-the human mind is governed by nonlinear
dynamics of complex systems
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Rolf Pfeifer,
Josh Bongard, 2006 -
How the Body Shapes the Way We think
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Rolf Pfeifer,
Luc Steels, Fumiya Iida, 2007
Embodied Artificial Intelligence
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A rare photo, probably the only one, made
by Uri exactly 4 years ago, which I received in these 4 years.
May it be a compensation for not being
able to receive photos of the performance, so praised by Yaacov:
Jonathan: guitar (his own composition)~~~~ Itamar: drums~~~~
Yael: xylophon & clarinet~~~~ Rotem: flute
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Long
before dawn the worry about T. woke me up.
I needed to find my trust in the "nefashot ha-po'alot",
the souls acting in
this drama.
And then came Yaacov's endeavor to let me feel "nakhat".
This felt very sweet for a moment.
But my predicament is, that this nakhat is mixed with double
pain!
The first pain - not my wisdom! - says:
Why is it already the second year,
that I must hear about the annual concert from Yaacov?
(his twins are together with Rotem in the
same "class").
Why am I not invited myself or at least
granted some photos?"
And this pain, of course, has to do with what I must again finetune
in,
- the ongoing, if not worsening non-communication with this
my family.
The second pain - not my wisdom! - says:
Why does Yaacov use this roundabout way to contact me after
3 months?
Why doesn't he stand up to me, face me, take up the challenge
which I am? |
Driving
backward into the Future - Healing and Harvesting my Past
"nakhat" is a word -from the
root "to rest"- which exists only in Hebrew
People wish a mother or a father :
"May you see nakhat from
this child".
Likewise: "S/he saw much
nakhat or - no nakhat at all - from this child."
Once this beautiful word was applied to myself:
In 1967, when I began with my PH.D.-thesis,
a small scholarship by the Warburg Foundation was proposed.
It was enough to buy the basic books I needed,
like the Babylonian and the Jerusalem Talmud and the Greek Septuaginta.
Once the Hebrew University gathered all the receivers of that
scholarship.
How it came to pass, that I - the shy-one - gave a little speech
there,
I don't remember, but I remember
that the man responsible for this gathering came to me, shook
my hand and said:
"We know that we shall see nakhat
from you!"
His name was Poznanski and years later
I asked for a meeting with him,
in order to thank him for his trust in me.
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Yesterday I said to Efrat, while she
traveled to Acco in the train:
"Neither you nor Immanuel should
let this spoil your holiday.
For a change... this time I.... recommend ....denial..."
And this is what I am recommending to
myself now as well,
after I read and wrote, what cannot be shared on a website,
I'm simply tired, grieved and do not want to cope any longer.
Not today at least ~ "Is this permitted ~ God?"
~ "Of course!"
Tomorrow will be Samira's 33rd birthday,
the 2nd anniversary of my parting from her,
the beginning of my process of "Nebô-Let-Go",
my final Lekh-Lekha
from the fulfillment of my
Vision.
I won't walk down to my cave in the Zealots' Valley,
I won't encourage Samira, nor Hathra, nor Yusuf,
though they are my "pledge" for future fulfillments.
But I want to immerse myself in that PAST,
by editing & completing the Nebo-sculpture.
Sunset from Mount NEBÔ
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Synchronicities:
In the pool
at noon I met Boris.
3 days ago I had called him:
"Tomorrow is your exam, are you ready?
"I did postpone it to the summer, after all".
While we sat in the Sauna, he told me
his new plans.
Then Boris asked me about myself.
I told him that everything is Heaven
on Earth,
except the "problems" at which I've hinted above.
I also told him about my plan for Samira's birthday.
Gal Mor February 2005 in
my room |
He interrupted me:
"Do you know, that Gal Mor
went to see them?"
Gal Mor is, like Boris, one of my "starchildren".
"What?"
"Yes, last weekend, and it was very good,
they all sat around a fire etc."
"I'm so glad, but why didn't she tell me that?" |
"There is always too much to do.
I usually don't answer e-mails,
and don't expect answers when I write myself."
I was reminded of Rotem, though she is only
14.
[later this day I discovered a
story about the two of us]
I wrote her this morning, but did not yet send it,
that I felt hurt
by her never responding to a letter or a quest
Kids today have either too little to do or too much.
But I surely am happy about Gal having
visited Samira!
It is a sign, that where I had to let go, others will take over.
At home, while warming up my wonderful food (Immanuel's cooking)
I zapped into a TV discussion about my beloved biblical story:
Tamar,
the Canaanite and Yehuda.
They also mentioned the Egyptian name of Moshe,
and that nobody dared to call a baby by this name,
not in the Bible, not in the Talmud, until the sixth century.
I have dared to compare my Letting-Go
of fulfilling my vision,
with Moshe's "NEBÔ-"
-his dying before seeing the promised land
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18:00
In order to find my way in the pages of the "Nebo-sculpture",
created in July 2006,
I re-read [and updated] three Communications
with Deity conducted in October 2004,
during the last stage of realizing my Desert-Economy-Vision called
:ARARAT-HeART.
Realizing with joy, how much easier my life
has become since then,
I want to give thanks!
I'll quote an examplary passage from each of the "ComDeity"-pages,
written on "Rakhaf"::
To YOU AS ONE,
SPIRIT~WILL~HEART~BODY
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"....The one question which scares me, is the implied change
from "not doing anything on the exterior level"
to again "doing" something on the exterior level."
"Well, it's no big deal to
"not do anything on the exterior level",
when you retreat from the exterior level.
The big deal is to NOT DO,
but to BE,
while interlinking with so many aspects
of the exterior level."
...
You will always do,
because that's natural,
look at your grandkids, not a second are they not doing.
.....
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Rotem sleeps in my tent, Rakhaf, October
2004
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At sunset I sit and write outside my tent,
viewing Arad in the west
Rakhaf, October 2004
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October
15, 2004
I
read about the dire need
to release denial energy on the global level.
How pathetic, that I have not yet released the judgment
that I don't deserve a place on this planet,
and that it's only me who needs "Rakhaf"
and not the Rakhaf-people who need me just as well.
If I deny my own basic right, what can I expect "on the
global level"?
"Now, do not make
yourself wrong, dear co-healer.
"Accept yourself as having clung to that denial in the
past,
because you didn't know better,
release that denial, that judgment
"and accept and move the fear, that will re-appear for
some time,
until you'll have cradled yourself into knowing and feeling,
that you ARE WELCOME and a BLESSING , wherever you are present.
Slowly or even quickly you will resonate this:
"I am a blessing for you, and for you
and for you,
who have a chance in this moment,
to be in my loving and whole presence."
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October
22, 2004
"Narda is right, when she scowls at you,
that you are making a drama out of everything.
Dramas are interesting, stimulating, adrenalin-rich,
but they are not the only way to respond
to an outer~ OR~ ! ~ inner experience.
We suggest, that you train to refrain for some time
from churning the question:
What does this mean?
And instead focus on feeling, moving, accepting your feelings
and on discovering and releasing the judgments
if those should be the cause of your feelings.
Not to ask: "What does
this mean?"
..........
"Sounds like
taking away your pet occupation, hey?"
But itsn't this question about the meaning
of an experience
the way to become "parental"
, responsible for it?
There is a time
for everything.
And you, in any case, are using the "meaning-question"
as a substitute for "Moving Emotions" and "Releasing
Judgments".
This is a very harsh judgment on your
part, isn't it?
It is!
If you choose to call it like that!
You could also call it a challenge, a change, a choice.
There is still so much struggle in your days and hours.
Remember your
7 healing-steps
- Feel every single
emotion totally (pp13)
- Breathe-move-sound
thoroughly (pp17)
- Release judgments
=RJ carefully (pp
6)
- Do accept all
of yourself lovingly (pp
7)
- And if you still
cannot accept something,
sacrifice it to God light-heartedly (pp31)
- Act on your understanding
wisely (pp 8)
7. and then create and live playfully
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The "understanding" or "meaning" will emerge
naturally
a f t e r you have followed the first 4 steps,
and not by side-stepping these steps and analyzing intellectually
and - worse - drawing practical conclusions.
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My "partners" on Rakhaf, installing
the new generator,
after the former was stolen while I was the only one on watch.....
My tent in the west, Rakhaf, October 2004
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back to past ~~~~~
forward to future
Intro
to
k.i.s.s.-l o g + all
dates
~ Library of
7 years ~ HOME
~ contact ~
SEARCH
( of Latin characters only!) my
eldest granddaughter's video-gallery
whole&full-filled,
never perfect&complete
Keep It
Simple Sweetheart
K.I.S.S.
- L O G 2
0 0 8
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