L I B R A R Y    July 2001 - July2003 A Time of Learning-Healing-Harvesting   In the beginning my eldest son,  Immanuel Rosenzweig,  taught me to set up a website, because I wanted to study "www.Godchannel.com" in an effective and enjoyable way . In time I saw myself adding "appendices", which I finally collected in "My Life's Harvest". When it seemed to me, that I was called to continue the exterior realization of my Vision "Peace through Desert Hosting Economy in Israel-Palestine", I fixed the date for my additional Lekh-Lekhâ as July 3, 2003, which was one month ahead, and allowed myself to indulge once more in the scientific research of what I discovered as - the"Female Thread of Redemption in the Bible" and called it "Messiah David&Bat-Sheva". "GOD" HAS EVOLVED Studying Information that helps me to live my life MY LIFE'S HARVEST Driving Backward into the Future - 68 Years of Living MESSIAH   DAVID and BAT-SHEVA   dedicated   to   Efrat-Rut,   my   Daughter-in-Love

Structure of Healing-K.i.s.s. - as perceived in 2009 - including a second website: ARARAT
March 13, 2011:
After 10 years of almost daily creating and playing, learning and healing with the help of Healing-K.i.s.s.,
I find it a bit ridiculous, that in 2007-08 I wanted to point out a "structure" behind the websites' content.
And yet during the weeks of trying to at least present that content in somewhat systematical overviews,
 I finally- on March 13, 2011 - played the kids oracle: "Leaving" or "Deleting" ? Answer: "Leaving!"  
"Leaving", of course, has a double meaning.....- what else is new with "oracles"???

K.I.S.S. - L O G    2 0 0 8
Keep It Simple Sweetheart
whole&full-filled, never perfect&complete

Lass dir alles geschehn, Schoenheit und Schrecken. Man muss nur gehn. Kein Gefuehl ist das fernste. Lass dich von mir nicht trennen. Rainer Maria Rilke, aus "Gott spricht zu jedem ehe er in macht" Learn the song

Let everything happen to you, beauty and horror. One must just go. No feeling is the farest. Do not let yourself be separated from me. Rainer Maria Rilke, from "God talks to each one before he makes him" Learn the song

Enhancement in 2011, completed on March 13
Exemplary   I n t e g r a t i o n   of two time-periods in my life:
Diary Texts of 1978 ~ and ~ Desert Photos of Dec.1989-Jan.1992

March 2011: Driving Backward into the Future:
a non-linear composition of two periods of my life:
excerpts from my handwritten, mostly Hebrew, diary of 1978,
the year of intense learning and applying "Co-Counseling",
with entries about myself, about my family, about my "Partnership" work,
and of scanned old negatives of the beginnings of the Succayah , Jan. 1990-Jan. 1992,
including photos of my family, some friends and volunteers..
(continuation of the photo sequence from "Closeup to my Past:>2007_06_06>My Being Too Much"]

March 13, 2011: there was no clear intention or systematical plan in my head,
when I decided to throw together two time-periods which seemed to have little to do with each other.
I actually only wanted to find a place for inserting both, the diary of 1978 and the photos of 1990-92.
What also intrigued and excited me, was the idea of experiencing life and history in a non-linear way!
of "jumping" into this time from that time and forgetting about chronology even within a time-period!
While photos are ordered according to themes (and not accidental as the inserts in "closeup to my Past)
the 1978 texts start with December and then jump "back" to July 30!

I'm not yet capable of pointing out the fruits of this integration, but I feel the excitement for it
and I have a clearer notion of the potential of the huge treasure-boxes of my life,
both among the 1436 files of Healing-K.i.s.s. and ARARAT-HEART,
and all the "material" still hidden in "Word" or even in my cupboard,
and this despite uncountable destructions of documents, both intentional and forced .

Of course, all this non-linear visiting of my past life,
is a good training towards choosing and perceiving and understanding my "present" life among "present" humankind!


Morning sky over "Ya'acov" and "Sarah" on the ridge,
as viewed from the "veranda" of the Succat-Abraham,
built within half a day by the most creative and effective (but also obstructive) helper, Ram Eisenberg (see a rare photo of him)

quoted (by heart?) in Diary, December 1978 More from the Arab-Jewish Workshop at Shfayim with Harvey Jackins, Founder of RE-Evaluation Counseling: A demonstration of the "Oppression-Theory", according to which nobody would oppress another person or nation , unless s/he was oppressed first, at least as a child. Harvey: Have you been oppressed? Rivka: Don't remember. H: Say: I've always been treated with respect as a woman. R. (says it twice) It's not true. I don't want you to feel sorry for me. H. We're not pitying you, we just care for you. R. I don't want to feel sorry for myself, because I don't. H. Yes, but your tears must come out. R. (tells a story) I hate myself now. H. You don't deserve to be hated. Okay we got in contact with that. Do you remember, when you stood up for an Arab? R. (tells a story about the behavior of the University towards Arab students.) H. How do you feel about yourself for having stood up? R. (Bad feelings. Done too little.). H. Suppose, the Rector of the University was sittng here. R. (acts out her anger) H. When was a time, when you had trouble with your own feelings towards the Arabs, when they got into your way? R. (tells a story) H: Where did the prejudices come from?

Diary 1978, December [see more quotes in SongGame 2007_01_23, in SongGame 2007_06_20 and in Learn&Live12>Dec.12_20-24, 2010] At peace with all the universe Yet filled with zestful fire, Serene with past achievements, Alive with new desire, Aware of distant galaxies A pebble I admire. [by whom?]

Also in my diary of December 1978, I re-discovered this Chinese poem beautifully translated into German, by the poet Richard Dehmel [1963-1920] Li-T'ai-Po Die ferne Laute [The distant Lute] Eines Abends hoert ich im dunklen Wind eine ferne Laute ins Herz mir dringen. Und ich nahm die meine im dunklen Wind, die sollte der andern Antwort singen. Seitdem hoeren nachts die Voegel im Wind manch Gespraech in ihrer Sprache erklingen. Ich bat auch die Menschen, sie moechten lauschen, Aber die Menschen verstanden mich nicht. Da liess ich mein Lied vom Himmel belauschen, Und da sassen nachts um mein Herzenslicht die unsterblichen mit hellem Gesicht. Seitdem verstehn auch die Menschen zu lauschen Und schweigen, wenn meine Laute spricht.

Harvey Jackins, Re-evaluation Counseling - demonstrates "Oppression Theory" during an Arab-Jewish Workshop at Shfayim, organized by RC students! H. Every person who functions in an oppressor role, hates himself. We had to counter the guilt in some way, so as to release the tension. 3 steps-technique to make up a phantasy to be a champion. Most of the release takes place on this second step. H. How were you oppressed as a child? Chen: I can't remember a specific incident. H. Just repeat: I was always treated with respect. Chen: (repeats without feelings, so H. makes Chen remember being oppressed as a child:) H: "Son, you're going to school!" (feelings come) H. What would you like to say to Arabs.    [no answer] H : Fight [Chen tries]     H: What do you think.   Chen: I want to vomit. H.: do brrrr.

When on November 25, 1989, we moved bus and minibus into this nameless wadi
which chose itself for the "scientific model" ["Succayah"] of my vision of a Desert-Hosting-Economy,
a couple followed us and set up their makeshift tent in the vicinity.
They were perhaps the first guests, who eat dinner with us in the wadi,
outside the temporary "succah", which I had constructed for receiving visitors.

In the Diary of Dec. 1978, I'm quoting from the Love-Letters 1930: "The Heart is Awake", where the lover refers to this paining of Leonardo da Vinci: [see also in "Das Herz ist wach" I ] "Und neben diesem jungen Frauengesicht das Antlitz der Mutter, dieselbe Form des schoenen, edlen Gesichts, nur reifer, ruhiger. Die unbeschreiblich reine Stirn, mit dem Blick der Augen darunter, a l l e r Milde voll! - die liebreiche Mitfreude an dem Glueck des jungen muetterlichen Geschoepfs – und das unendlich tiefe, wortlose Mitleid!" (p. 211) "Heute sind wir Frauen – Sie sprechen das ja auch aus (23.5.1930!) – unter dem Gebot dieses Auftrags im Grunde noch sehr einsam in der Welt." (p. 156)

"Combat et Contemplation et Communion" [slogan of the Taizé Community where I visited for 24 hours in 1976 after my failure with the summer-camp of Bir'am]

In May or June 1991 , Ursula Kasper, my only sister (our brother was killed in 1970), came to be a guest in the Succayah.
She knew, that I nothing but 30000 Dollars for the entire project, including my own living, and therefore paid the full price.
I had not seen her since our mother died in my arms in Israel, on February 20, 1985, and I was surprised and exhilarated.
It had been her idea, to realize the inner message to follow Abraham's "Lekh-Lekhâ" by living in a caravan [later: the bus]
Since she always was an extremely busy, pressured woman, she needed to explain her visit: "I suddenly felt, you would die!"
I'm dedicating this first of the five ".integration" pages mainly to her.

Ursel always liked mountain-climbing, and so was happy, when I took her to the Ramon-Crater.
Nothing could be viewed from her except the observatory, - then the biggest on in the Middle East.

"Manmal spuert man es mit inneren Erschrecken, was es heissen will, diese ganze Welt der Maenner wissend mitzutragen und doch die schenkende Erde zu bleiben." (p.245) "Dies Wissen – dies wissende Mittragen … wie Du die Last traegst, in Deinen Bruedern und mit Deinen Bruedern, im Volk und mit dem Volk – wenn es irgendetwas gaebe, wasmich dich tiefer lieben, heisser verehren, gluehender ersehnen machen koennte, Geliebt! Dann wae es dies. Ich liebe dich so masslos in dieser Deiner wunderbaren Kraft, in deiner schenkenden Fuelle, in dem starken und reinen Wollen, in dem Du so frei, so voellig von dir selber los – so koeniglich bist." (p.259)

(Partnership bought one show of the play "A Hole in the Wall" and let it be performed in the Arab village Tira, in the presence of the General Director of the Ministry of Education )

This was the last time, that Ursel came to visit me in Israel. The last time we met, was a year before her death on Nov.6, 2004, when I was on my way to the AUschwitz-BirkenAU Retreat in Nov.2003 Succat-Yitzkhaq, in which Ursel lived in 1991, in contrast to how I found this Succah in 2002

December 11, 1978 , 16:00 Eine Stunde Schlafen und wachen, zwischen Gluecklichsein und dem beissenden pattern: "Ich muss aufstehn und was tun!" Aber ich bin nicht aufgestanden. Man muesste alle Leute fragen: Was ist deine groesste Sehnsucht, dein haeufigster Neid, Dein innigster Traum – und dann ihnen zeigen, sie wie den Traum selbst verwirklichen koennen. M e i ne groesste Sehnsucht ist es, am Abend im warmen, gemuetlichen Zimmer zu sein, mit der Familie oder lieben Menschen, ohne reden zu muessen, oder allein, mit schoener Musik, lesend oder nachdenkend oder im mit Teppichen belegten Zimmer umherblickend ohne irgendeinen Druck. Dies ist der Traum, den ich selbst erfuellen will in den naechsten 40 Jahren Nichts tun zu muessen einfach da zu sein! einfach zu sein. Ist dies nicht ein merkwuerdiger erster Inhalt meines heutigen Geloebnisses? Kann ich so meine Hauptaufgabe erfuellen, naemlich die Menschen faehig zu machen, 5 Stunden pro Wocher Verantwortung zu uebernehmen fuer die Bewaeltigung von Problemen der Gemeinschaft, die der Staat allein nicht bewaeltigen kann? Die von Babette und Yanina heute unabhaengig von einander geaeusserte Angst, dass ihre Verpflichtung gegenueber "Partnerschaft" so viel mehr Zeit in Anspruch nimmt als sie sich leisten koennen, dass sie die Sache womoeglich ganz sein lassen muessen – dies – und meine sehr beruhigende Reaktion darauf im Sinnes meines Briefes an Abraham [see Learn&Live12>2010_12_12-24,] zeigt, dass mein Gefuehl richtig ist: Fuer mich heisst die Parole; "Einfach nur zu sein, nur zu sein!" Nach 30 Jahren unsaeglicher Anstrengung, unbeschreiblichen Leids fuer diese Aufgabe – Leid zu erleichtern, darf ich aufatmen, darf ich geloest und gluecklich sein, darf ich Erfuellung kosten, Erfuellung! Erfuellung!

One of my insights, crystallized fully in this historical session with Yanina and Babett,"suffering can never cause non-suffering"

Rest is the basis of successful activity Successful activity leads to fulfilment, and the automatic result of fulfilment is happiness. Thus, basically, our happiness depends upon the quality of our rest. (from a book about Transcendental Meditation, which I tried out in 1978)

March 15, 2011, I sent all these rediscovered scanned negatives to Ursel's widowed husband. He wrote: "the scratches on your pretty legs disturbed me. So I used me recently acquired skills to eliminate them as much as was possible." I hadn't even noticed the scratches, leave alone "the pretty !!! legs"....

Franz Ansprenger Juden und Araber in Einem Land, 1978 With exemplary thoroughness a German scholar traces Jewish-Arab relations in Palestine from 1917 to the present. His preferred solution is a return to the idea of a common state, an Israel in which Jews and Arabs will have parity.

halte ich diese Aktivitaet fuer einen der wichtigsten Friedensdienste, die ich im Fruehjahr 1977 in Israel beobachten konnte!

Also on Dec. 15, 1978 , I mentioned: Thema der Bendorfer Bibelwoche war "Das Buch der Richter", ihr Hoehepunkt der Vortrag von Prof Marie-Luise Henry, Hamburg; "Theologie des Richterbuches:"… "Aus seiner Gottesbeziehung gewann Israel die Im Richterbuch besonders deutlich erkennbare Sinndeutung seines geschichtlichen Weges~~~ die Kraft zur Bewaeltigung von Katastrophen, an denen andere Voelker zugrunde gingen!!!" Ob (dies) nicht als Urbild einer Lebens- und Krisenbewaeltigung anzusehen waere, dessen Aneignung zum Heil einer schwerbedrohten Menschheit dienen koennte…? I now read in Wikipedia, that Marie-Luise Henry was the first woman who was appointed Professor of Theology!- Her biography is a light in much darkness...

Diary , December 19, 1978 "When I say no, I feel guilty", this is a book by Manuel J. Smith, I borrowed from Babette yesterday. This morning I woke up, and while still only half awake, I was aware of at least three different things I felt guilty about. I don't remember the things, but it came (again?) to my mind, that this was the tone of my general feeling: guilty, guilty mostly about not doing what I want to do or am supposed to do or about what I've said. I'd really like to face this formidable enemy now – pecca fortiter! [a Latin saying ascribed to Martin Luther : "sin bravely!" ]  "Why do you always forget your good insights…" Already a feeling of guilt: I keep forgetting what I want to change! Instead of saying: How wonderful that I've another chance to reinforce a former decision: Pecca fortiter! Pecca fortiter! Pecca fortiter!   "Our true sense of self-respect has a priority over everything else consequenty, if you keep yourself-respect through exercising your assertive rights (like Shoshana: "I've a right to ask a guest in, haven't I?") you will feel good even if you do not achieve your goal immediately. Feeling good about yourself is a major goal of systematic assertive therapy. Once we feel good about ourselves, our ability to cope with conflict "snowballs". It is not just a wonderful little "extra"! That you feel good about yourself, however, does not exclude the possibility of obtaining what you set out to get, in addition to maintaining your self-respect. The other person's being assertive back to you simply results in the conflict being settled on the real issues of the dispute, not on the relative personality strengths of the participants or who is the best manipulator. It is practical w h e n e v e r   you feel that   y o u r   self-respect is not in question to offer a workable compromise to the other person." Shoshana said, when I said about Adva; "Children can recover from their distresses." "So can we!" "Yes, we will recover." "We already do! "What a progress!"

In the diary of December 20, 1978, it is documented, how I first met my love Mona Yahia , see about her and also her visit in the Succayah in The Heart is Awake V

How to be assertive and not let people manipulate you to feel either guilty or anxious or ignorant.

The best hours of this Shabbat – from 13:00- 15:30 I spent on writing to Harvey discharging my grudges against him in a writing session. Will it help? Then I cleaned up a little in the kitchen, while Ronnit cooked cacao for us, and walked up and down the path beyond the roses, drinking cacao and eating chanucca-cake and reading about being "assertive', in the last sun-shine. It sounds nice. Manuel had his friends over, but somehow they seemed not to know what to do, when I could watch them. Then I fell asleep while meditating and waking up, trying to enjoy the wonderful feeling of lying in bed and being relaxed, I again became aware of how feelings of guilt spoil just about every feeling of zest: "I should be with the chldren!" "I'll regret it later, that I did not spend the time with them, while they were still home!" - "I should be preparing for my lessons! I should, I should I should!"

about this immense kindness in your eyes and voice, The humanness that showed, when you interviewed our candidates.

Leila Simes and me in front of her home in England, August 1948 . See in........ the photo was glued into my diary on 24/8/78 , see in .integration 2003-2006.

December 24, 1978 - translation of the part about my sister:
"I talked with my sister on the phone.
I asked her forgiveness for all the times that I had angered her.
She was very touched
and our talk was more meaningful than I had imagined.
A new page!
Perhaps I'll finally learn to love her without restimulating her.
I'll certainly learn it!"
[Though the term "restimulation", used in Re-Evaluation Counseling,
is similar to the word "trigger" in RUOW and Godchannel put "trigger" in Search of Godchannel!,
I did not understand then, how little responsibility I can take for the trigger which another person attracts from me.
Ursel never came to Israel again, but I met her a few times at her home in Germany.
The last time in Nov. 2003, on my way to the AUschwitz-Retreat
[a travel, for which she also gave me a donation],
was a year before her death.
She was triggered ever so often, and the only thing I could do,
and can do with all the people, who do not have to live with me, is,
to keep away as much as possible.

continuation in .integration-2001-2003-God-has-evolved