I focus my experiencing and awareness on being
"a   pioneer of  Evolution  in  learning  to  feel":
I let my Body vibrate and my Heart 'womb'
pain, shame, fear, boredom, powerlessness,
so feelings can >heal >guide>fulfill>evolve,
and ~~~ offer ~~~"goldmines"~~~ to us all!!
"I want you to feel everything, every little thing!"

May 3, 2009, How the Intent became more and more thwarted
due to flaws and contradictions in the very concept
(according to my understanding, as I'll analyze in time)

An hour before I left the Walk and while parting from my closest friends,
I approached Erez Shmuel Atar, born in Arad,
which is now the town where I live and to which I return.
I wanted to heal an incident with him,
which had happened between us long ago while walking in the desert,
and which still kept us apart, despite his coming to me the next morning
with a mute, but moving gesture of apology.
While trying to heal it now,
in the last moment before I would cut myself off from the "Walk",
he – casually – mentioned how hurt he was the night before,
when he couldn't bring across his message to the group.
I let go of the old pain and opened up to this one
– so common to many people on the Walk -
the pain about an initiative not being received..
After he had told me the circumstances of how he let himself be overridden,
I asked:
"Are you ready to share with me the message you wanted to convey?"
He was ready, and while listening to his clear, poignant and so exact words,
to which I agreed with all my longing and yearning,
not only was I wholly appeased with Erez,
but I wanted him to write the message down, right there and then,
"and if you agree –
I want to insert it in the Intro to my personal pictured Story".
I gave him my pen and my little "holy" block,
where during "announcements" in the morning-circle - since April 4 -
I noted all the names of the people, whom I knew on a specific day,
so as to learn the names of those whom I didn't know,
and so as to send energy to the person with the name, whenever I passed him/her.

Just before my time on the beach across the Sea,
- my time of being with the Walkers-Sitters physically, - had come to a sad end,
Erez approached me with the following written message:

"I, Erez Shmuel Atar, wanted to say the following things
on the Eve of Shabbat, May 1, 2009,
and did not have the power to do it"

"I have a few words to share with all of you, brothers and sisters,
though some of you may only be visiting and some walking for a while now.
We come from different places and many different walks of life,
but we all have something in common.
This thing we have in common is what makes us Walk About Love.
It may manifest in several ways
such as playfulness, music, a hug, a smile or an offer to help,
but it is essentialy one thing.
What we have in common is a deep desire.
It is a desire to see a change in our World,
it is a desire to create a reality of love for all humankind.
So, some may call it spreading the Light
or healing the planet
or creating awareness,
but in any case,
it is a choice to be an active player in the game.

I am sad.
I feel that we have forgotten the Vision of our journey.
I feel that we are no longer connected to this deep desire,
and therefore we are walking and having fun (sometimes),
but not manifesting our full potential of creating the reality
each and every one of us would like to live.
Let's remember…."

[See also the metaphor of "Erez" = "cedar" in K.i.s.s.-Log 2008: Sept. 8
and in Song-Game 2007: June 7]
and a very relevant message from another Erez, also from Arad, in Jan. 2004]

I've written harsh , even cynical judgments

on my first day away from the Walk.

I still feel sick and weak,

with my Herpes further extending on my lower lip,

and a bladder infection showing its first signs,

trying to sleep, trying to digest, trying to heal,

trying to understand my new assignment.




It is not by being physically present with the Walkers.

It's by my paining absence,

paining to me

and hopefully paining to some of my friends,

that I must now fulfil my task

of desiring, yearning , believing, loving,

together with my natural talent

and the experience of my 70 years of DOING,

to point out the roots of the cancer

- as much as its surreptitious spreading.

The first sign, that this view might be correct,

came already today:

Sari, the WOMAN behind "The Walk",

reported encouraging details

about a "very good circle" last night (after I had left).

Some of the clots of "Babylonian" mire

had been exposed to the light of consciousness,

and practical steps were put in motion, like:



a small group of dedicated Walkers

would consistently take care of "human" problems,

and this by rotating - 2 people - every 24 hours.


"Maybe, this will change your mind!"
Sari said.

"Even if it won't change my mind,

it will make me very happy,

provided you take care

of having all your decisions documented in writing ,

and not only by Rotem's movie-documenting,

the editing of which may take a year or more."






Maybe, I and those 20% of people,

whom I perceive as "the hard core" of the Walk
,
have sown a seed after all.

But the signs are many,

that I should not interfere

with making the seeds germinate

and grow into a tree.



I am to be a witness and observer now

- ardently desiring the success

of what I want to see as

The Walk about Self-Love,

but not burdening the budding leaders

with my overwhelming presence.

I am not going to comment on the confusion concerning "Money",
especially since the new method with the "Magic Hat", as documented on May 2,
seems to have been already discarded,
as Sari told me today, May 3.

As to the main flaw in the structure , the lack of concern for people's feelings,
I tried to correct it already after two weeks,
through my concept of "Support Groups",
[scroll down on the file "Releasing Judgments"= March 8 "I leave Shittim"
to see the document:]
"Unless my mind accepts my FEELING,
my Love has no meaning"
I was pleading especially to allow for a small daily support circle for the organizers.
...................................................

I'll have to heal many feelings in myself,
before I'll be able to accept my enormous failure in achieving my goal,
though I changed the original proposal - to introduce "Support" in a structured way,
and worked on supporting people and teaching them tools for self-acceptance
in an individual, spontaneous way, from hour to hour, from location to location.

But I must, right now, return to the principal confusion,
to what I call "the cancer" in the Walk about Love,
the sitting, settling, sinking into the mud and mire of Babylonian "Festivals",
as well as to the so well-meant, but so naive concept
of "Opening up to the Communities of Israel".
Let me use the metaphor of the walk of the Hebrew slaves out of Egypt.
Imagine, that God-Moses had led those to ancient Babylon and exposed them to its inhabitants,
so as "to spread the message of freedom"!
Who were the slaves then?
And who are the walkers now?
As a community they are nothing! absolutely nothing!
Whenever we have gathered ourselves during the walking on a certain day,
we are already dispersed by the fact,
that at the next junction I am disconnected from the person,
with whom just now I had the deepest of communication.
And the next day, people, who had become so dear to me,
are gone, while other , new people come in
and I must - once more - invest all my energy and emotions,
to open up to them and contain them.

The physical movement of the walking
and the walking together as a group with a common aim,
helps me to cope with this strain,
and one of the things I came to learn and truly accept,
is this part of the Walk's concept:
that it is not a closed group, from beginning to end,
but an open group, which can be joined and left by anyone at any time.
The metaphysical message, which I came to hear, is:
"You strong people, who are attracted to "The Walk", will meet your potential peers,
people, who are on the same wave-length like you, be they 20 or 70 years old.
But you are not to get attached to each other, not yet!
If you would cuddle together, you would not be open for the World.
But it is for healing the World, that you came to this planet!"

But if to be open to ever new walkers is the biggest part of learning,
- to be forcibly exposed to non-walkers from the outside world,
be this meeting with non-walkers ever so beneficial to those non-walkers,
is dispersing , yes disrupting, yes destroying the energy of us, the Walkers.
A new human being grows in the womb of water and darkness for nine month.
Even when it is born , it is meant to be securely guarded in the arms of its parents.
So how can The Body of the Walk about Love grow,
when 4 days after its first steps, 5 days of a Festival are banged down on its head?
Or if less than 2 weeks later, at Mitzpe-Ramon,
the Walkers are supposed to "contribute" to the town's communities
spending time with old-age people in a home or planting trees with the Black Hebrews?
Some individuals may have drawn satisfaction from "having been useful",
but others described the experience at Mitzpe Ramon as "a nightmare",
and added: "No wonder, that the next day a big group of people left the Walk".
Sari, who so far did believe in the concept of "demonstrating our love by acts",
gave me three examples of positive "change of stereotypes" towards Arabs,
[for instance in a Jerusalem park on April 15]
but I had to tell her:
"All your examples occurred when encounters occurred spontaneously.
This is alright and miraculous.
But to deliberately invite outside people to "Festivals" and "Activities"
is wanting to do too much in too short a time. It is destroying us!"

If this was not enough of a dilution, dispersion of a not yet born Body,
most of the truly committed walkers kept and keep splitting off the group,
by their own volition and against the opinion of the organizers,
because they, too, want to reach all the goals at once.
Thus on April 3 , two thirds of the group decided to go to the Westbank
and demonstrate "peace" there.
Later 18 people left for a 3 day conference about "Grassroot Resistance"
to Bil'in across the border - and to a weekly demonstration against the theft of lands.
I listened to Talli (29), for more than an hour during our walking together.
The experience had deeply moved and changed her outlook.
And from her point of view I can accept the rightness of this splitting-off.
"It's the baby of the Walk about Love!
Without this baby we would be barren and infertile!"

She did not ask, what happened to the "main" body because of the split-off....


Another friend, deeply appreciated by me, 20 year old Gabriel from California,
had gone with some people to the home of one of the walkers, to Karmey-Yosef.
"It's important, that small groups go out by themselves for some days",
he said,
"It gives the people a chance to know each other better and to become unified!
They will then bring back this energy to the group!"
I must have had a severe frown on my forehead, when I responded :
"Provided you'll find a group to which you can come back, Gabriel!"

This Babylonian belief in "ever faster, ever higher, ever better"
- so opposed to Nature's self-limitation (at least after the dinosour experiment...) -
does not take into account, that "The Enemy of the Good is the Best!"

As to "getting to know each other in small groups",
I had suggested this to Rea on the very first day, on February 27 in Eilat:
"Wouldn't it be good to announce an hour of
"gathering in small groups for getting to know each other?"
I learnt soon enough, that the organizers were overwhelmed with proposals,
and if I wanted something to happen, I had to make it happen myself.
But since I did not have the courage and the power of some other people,
I succumbed time and again to my fear , and rightly so,
for even without such initiatives my "speaking-up in circles" "triggered" some people badly....

As to the Walk's "Dancing around the Golden Calf", the so-called Festivals,
which often bombarded Nature and Humans from 22:00 at night till 14:00 the next day:
this central concept of "The Walk" is so hideous,
that I must take much time to point out,
how it ruins the very goal of "Spreading Love, Peace and the protection of the Environment"
so that the Walkers who at least intuitively share my understanding,
will never let this confusion happen again.

Exodus 32: they   s a t - to eat and to drink and to dance around the golden calf




I hate, I despise your festivals
Amos 5:21

"And Israel (the wandering tribe of slaves) sat down in SHITTIM!
and began to whore around with the daughters of Moab!"
Numeri 25:1

"Sitting" instead of "Walking", "Settling" instead of "Wandering"
is being pointed out as a great danger for humans in Biblical mythology.
The metaphor is the river of Eden, which goes out [present tense!] to water the garden.
It the river stays put, it cannot fertilize the land, its water becomes a swamp.
Israel's Fathers and Mothers were conceived as nomads,
though the "civilized" Egyptians were "disgusted" by wandering shepherds, [Genesis 46:34]
and Josef could not eat bread together with his brothers because of this "disgust" [Genesis 43, 32]
And though Israel "settled" eventually and the result was destruction and imposed walking into exile,
they always knew, that they had been those, who had brought this perverted wandering upon themselves,
and they could see, how even walking in exile made them fresh and flexible:

And, indeed, Israel is still Israel, while all the ancient and not so ancient "civilizations" are gone...
And yes, It may walk into exile again,
since some people
- protected by the Government
- cling to "settling" on land-not-theirs...

April 28, 2009 - I again came across this Godchannel teaching (1998),
and found in it relevant criteria for creating a true "Walk about Love"....

On Belonging to Groups

Dear God, What do you think of the organization and initiation of the New Warriors?

"Groups can be a good place
to begin a journey of self discovery
that may eventually lead to wholeness.
Groups and trainings like this one for men
can also be very good for those
who wish to change their behaviors and beliefs
about themselves and the world,
and release some of the cultural conditioning
related to their roles in life.
However, in organized group work
that is not focused on healing the deepest imprints,
most of the important healing issues are ignored.
The imprints are often covered over
with another kind of conditioning
that serves the integrity of the group,
but not necessarily the integrity of the individual.

"Most groups believe
they have superior understandings and teachings,
and individual members almost always inherit
the group's superiority imprint.
Also, 'initiation' into any kind of group
has too often meant an end
to the unique individual inner journey.
And it has most often meant a joining with others
that may feel like a journey within,
but is rather a resting place in a comfortable group mind.
There is also usually a pressure or tendency for the individual
to take the group mind's sense of truth and reality over their own.

"Most initiates in religious, spiritual and esoteric groups
have lost some or all of their individual identity
and therefore much of their essence
to the group,
and this of course is a serious impediment to healing.
The basic tenets of the group
and the teachings of the leader or guru
form an environment
that the successful initiate must learn to think, feel and relate within.
This causes whatever may be outside of that environment
to become increasingly inaccessible to the initiate seeking inclusion in the group.

"Healing into wholeness is not the aim of most groups.
And even if it was a group's intention,
the very fact of a group
with rules, leaders and role models
would discourage individual efforts
to move beyond the limitations of the group,
except in a rare few.
And those few are the ones
who will find their way out of groups,
and discover their own unique path to Truth.

"While groups can be helpful to a person
getting started on their journey,
the ultimate responsibility for the success of your journey
lies in developing your own unique approach
to healing the relationships among Spirit, Mother, Heart and Body
as they reside within you.
This is why I am putting so much emphasis
on developing inner channels of communication directly with me.
Our inner relationship will enable you
to confidently lead yourself on your own journey,
and with the best guidance available.

"In order to be fully grown up
and Who You Truly Are
you must 'belong' to yourself,
and not to a group
or other person.
It is one thing to work together with others as peers
who have common interests,
and quite another to join a group
whose intention and understandings
can serve only part of the need
for imprint and healing reflections.
The very best approach
to working with others of like mind and intention
is to gather together as peers
without leaders, rules or customs
and share your understandings and healing processes."

May 30, 2009,



In hindsight I can see a specific half hour
in which everything "good and bad" happened at once.

It was on the Day of Independence/Al-Nakba, April 28,
when we came back to the camp across the sea.
While the Parade Walkers-Players had rested in Rothchild Blv,
I had met Christine and Jessica, two Germans,
who had arrived just that morning from the same town, Nuernberg,
though not having met each other before.
I proposed, that I would cut short the parade and instead help them
to find their way through the city to the camp.
When we were almost there, Lior Oren came running behind us,
- she had just come back to The Walk.
While I was introducing the girls to each other,
and updating Lior Oren, a man came out from the camp.
It was Oren!
The man upon whom I stumbled in Arad and my glasses have been scratched ever since...
["oren" means "pine-tree" and includes the word "Or", which means "light" ,
in the man's case it is his first name, while it's the family-name in the case of Li-or (to me is light)]


He came over to us four women and said:
"I have to leave the Walk for this day.
The music is too terrible,
the energy too low,
and this morning 500 NIS have been stolen from me.


It was then, that I exhorted , yes implored him:


"Oren, if you would accept your greatness,
then you would do just the opposite of leaving:
You would know,
that in this moment it's YOUR task to lift up the energy.
You would, for instance, try to change the music.
And you would share with people, that your money was stolen.
For this, too, is not your personal matter,
but a concern of the Body of the Walkers."


All this was said with Christine, Jessica and Lior as witnesses.
It also demonstrated to the two newcomers the contrasting aspects of The Walk about Love.
As to Oren: for once I was successful!
He was touched by my view of "greatness",
he returned with us to the camp, and changed the music.

This far I came on May 30, 2009.

Now, on July 30, on the day on which I shall complete
my creative documentation and evaluation of the Walk about Love,
I remember well, what trigger I attracted a little later that evening.
And why I needed to attract it as a beginning of the understanding,
that my time and assignment with the Walk about Love was over,
an understanding seemingly opposed totally to what I had said to Oren.
But I shall not tell the content of the trigger.
A trigger is a trigger and its content is rarely important.
What is important, that now - after exactly 3 months - I do know,
why my truth for Oren was not the truth for myself any longer:
For as I said before:
when the balance
between empowering people and triggering people is disrupted,
I must retreat.
Helping people to love themselves,
including their greatness and sovereignty,
means to empower them.
But if they cannot yet love themselves, if they cannot accept their greatness,
i.e. the fact, that they are the producers, writers and directors of their dramas,
and that whoever comes into their dramas, was chosen by them as co-actors,
then my very presence triggers them,
the more so - any spoken words from me...
By constantly pointing out to young people
who want to embrace the world all at once

"If you grasp much - you don't grasp! If you grasp little - you grasp!"
I made "the Walkers about Love without Self-love" mad at me!
As if I wanted to hold them back,
which is definitely the opposite of "empowering" them.

So it seems, that the time is not ripe,
and I am not yet whole enough
to manifest my deepest desire:
that people heal themselves into wholeness, i.e. total self-acceptance,
and will then, and only then, be capable of co-creating together

as peers!

Awaiting us on the other side: Yuval [=stream, rivulet, brook] ,
one of the five organizers, who stayed with The Walk from the original twenty,
an excellent orator and translator among many other talents.
Neither he nor Yig'al talked with me into depth during my 9 weeks.