Answers to e-mails channeled on 1998_08_21

Healing Class III Discussion 2

You are what it's all about.
Sex and Love and Healing
Contributor's Response to Sex and Love and Healing
[Very relevant for "the Walk about Love 2009":] On Belonging to Groups

You are what it's all about.

Dear God, I need to clarify something
about this "redeeming our devils" work,
and I hope you can help me.
I feel I understand how
judgment release
and projection reclamation
allow our denied-against-devilish-selves
to return into the fold of our self acceptance,
and how from this place these energies are free
to create
what feels better to the whole.

"Yes, and this is
because they are now completely accepted
and in their right place.
When they were being denied,
all they could do
was submerge into a frozen state,
or act out in defiance against the whole
that had rejected them."

Where I feel confused is
when you say that this work needs to happen
before certain parts of my mother-desire essence is gone into
because these parts really need to experience a fully loving light there
to save them
rather than reversals again.

"Almost none of the seriously damaged parts of the Mother
will permit being 'gone into',
and especially the parts I've described.
There is a reason for this that I haven't mentioned until now.
Over the eons my denied light has sought out
and found these parts
with domination in mind.
Time and time again
the devils have presented loving acceptance to the Mother
and offered her healing attention
to get her to open to them.
When she has, she's been overrun,
pinned down
and forced to open space for them and hold it open.

"Denial spirits and other asuras
have been and are still being used
to 'guard' these co-opted fragments of the Mother.
Every time I've tried to go to them directly
I've been seriously rebuked
by what for a long time I thought
was the Mother's hatred of me.
I know now it's not her hatred,
but rather the hatred of her captors
that created the barrier between us.
In many ways even she herself has come to believe
that she hates me because these beasts
have penetrated her so deeply
that she has identified with them.

"She is of course distrustful and wary of any kind of light,
and until mine is completely pure,
I will be rebuked.
Interestingly, as I unify the Spirit polarity,
I draw back into myself those Spirit fragments
that originally forced open the Mother,
in effect pulling them off of her.

"There's still a long way to go in this direction,
and even when it's worked so far,
the Asuras have often remained with her.
This has left magnetic essence
that is essentially vibrating death.
Humans holding fragments of the Mother in this condition
have suffered greatly.
They have often experienced great harm at the hands of others,
and in turn many have been extraordinarily destructive,
reflecting and following the dictates
of the foreign asuric essence
rather than their own.

"For you and most others,
the presence of Asuras
ensconced in your magnetic essence
may show up as self-hatred
for being a human,
for trying to heal instead of having fun
or some other more 'rational' objective,
or for being a failure at healing
or life in general.
This very often comes to awareness as hatred of oppressive authority
and as simple hatred of me.

"As I said in the lesson,
my best advice is to have me present with you
as soon as you are able,
and ask me to help these creatures of hate and denial
find their way to their right place.
At the same time
you can use the deepest form of judgment release,
'I release the judgment that I must hate myself because I ~' or,
'I release the judgment that I must hate ~ because they ~'"
If hatred is involved, use this form first,
and then follow with the other, regular forms on the judgment release page."

This confuses me because

pp6
in my experience
these processes of judgment release and emotional expression
seem almost inseparable.
Let me give an example.
Often these days I feel in my gut a deep dull dread.
When I remember, I release the judgment
that I am bad for feeling such terrors,
and this eventually helps me feel safer
to feel more fully into this place in me
and allow these feelings to move into a new experience.

"This is a very good example of
how judgment release clears the way for emotional acceptance
and eventual movement into release.
Another layer of judgment release is also very often helpful here.
"I release the judgment that I know what's best for these feelings,
and I release them to flow as they will."
It's a safe bet
that anytime you feel something blocking
the free movement and expression of an emotion,
there will be a judgment waiting to be released."

At times, I am aware of another player in this scene,
an angry raging blaming part of me
that can't stand feeling terrified.
So I do judgment release, like before,
and open to have my blaming rage move in ways
that allow emotional release to move from denial into acceptance.
It feels to me that my denied spirit essence
is intimately entwined with the emotions it's been holding,
and the judgment release and emotional release
are almost simultaneous ~
sometimes the feeling movement happens first
and sometimes the devil-redeeming happens first.
Can you please share with me your insight and experience here?

"My experiences are more one-sided then yours.
Although I am in varying degrees of communion
with the other three members of Deity,
I am focused as Spirit.
You can focus in your magnetic essence,
and when you do
the movement of emotion will precede in time the other aspects of your work.
Focused in your Spirit essence,
judgment release and spirit redemption
will precede the emotional release.

pp3
"There are many varieties of release experiences.
One typical sequence might be
to feel something 'bad'
as a result of a trigger,
say fear or terror.
Then the judgment release

as you describe in your first example.

Next, a deeper sense of the feeling
which begins to open and move.
As it does,
another more serious set of judgments surface along with rage,

as you describe in your second example.

Then more judgment release,
the judgments around rage are very serious.
Following that would be
.
a more full experience of the rage
which turns to raw energy in the absence of judgments
or the sense of its own rightness
Finally, with the space clear,
there's another, this time much deeper, movement of the original fear or terror.

Also, God, at times I feel to be consciously co-creating this site,
this growth,
this inner and outer universal healing with you
and all the others contributing.
I like feeling thus empowered.
Yet at times, as I more completely align with you in this,
I can't tell anymore where I end and you begin ~
as if the old me I was so used to
is being replaced by a new me that is You.

"Thank you for mentioning this.
All readers and contributors to the site are co-creators here,
whether it's conscious or not.
Of course, when you become aware of this,
you're also aware of being in inner communication with me.
When the communication reaches the point of communion,
then you're right, it's difficult to tell who's who anymore.

"The beings in communion
are sharing the same thoughts and feelings and sense of identity.
It is always good to make sure
you have your own self back
when you leave the communion,
and of course it's also very important
to have discernment regarding who you do this with."

Most of me likes this
and at these moments I feel to be in the stream of Grandfather's Grace.
But every once and a while I feel the need
to stop and pull back and check in to make sure
I'm not losing myself in this union.
Same ancient fears about losing myself in love from spirit's side
and fears about being hurt again rather than healed from will's side.
So close, yet so far away. Maybe one day ~

"You've got the right attitude,
and as I just mentioned
it's important to come back completely to yourself.
Not your old self, but your new self
who is more truly you, and not me.
Your evolution is your own,
being me is not your aim.
Although I am the model
and represent the goal of your spirit,
you have an equally important and powerful relationship with the Mother.

quoted in Puzzle Pieces Guide
"I am waking up inside of you
and together
we're meeting the Mother and your own Desire.
The result of this meeting is
that New Heart is forming in Creation,
and that presence is in you,
in your own body.
Body,
like Heart, the Mother and Spirit
is another aspect of Deity.

"Your center and core is your human Body.
Your true, whole being
includes both the Mother and me,
and is manifesting as Heart in Body.
So far it may not have seemed like much to you,
but this being you are
is the finest, most amazing Creation in all the universes.
The significant part of why this is so is
that you in fact are your own co-creator.

Grandfather has shown me
that you are the culmination of everything else in Creation.
Stick around, this gets better."

Sex and Love and Healing

Okay ~ I admit it ~ I desire to be a Deity Peer.
I don't want to be You, God,
but I want to become the GOD-OF-MYSELF.
I realize in saying this
that I am choosing to take full responsibility
for my creation experience.
I recognize that I am on your coat-tails ~
in a sense ~
evolving along behind You,
and I am very grateful
that You are sharing Your learnings.
And

pp32
like You, I am choosing to heal into wholeness.
I am at moments feeling totally free and self-empowered,
safe and trusting in the stream of Grace.
At other moments I feel like a scared and needy child
waking up to the deep pains I've been denying ~
and I fight for my life to reconnect with Grace.

"You are realizing
the two sides or poles of your experiences.
One is the glorious reality of Spirit and free Will.
The other is the dismal reality
of the deep pain and suffering of Will trapped in darkness,
and neither reality is very accessible
while you are involved in the other.
There are also various states between these two poles,
but the two poles are
where you've been most attracted and most repulsed.

"It is good work to be aware that at times
you are in either one or the other,
and it is even better work to be aware
of being in them both in the same moment.

"The truth is they are both your reality.

"Try this the next time you are in my company
and in the stream of Grandfather's grace.
Remember the scared, needy child and the deep pain.
Don't wait to be in the needy state in darkness,
bring the resources of Spirit
available to your healing grownup self
together with the suffering of your unhealed child self.
In this way it's possible
to hold both in your awareness at the same time.

pp32 ; Moving&Evolving Emotions Manual 3c
"Like all of us, you have had the tendency
to favor the good feeling states
and escape from the painful ones.
This has caused an 'up and down' experience
as you've bounced between the two extremes.
Fighting to be always 'up'
causes the 'down' state
to call you back again each time.
Healing is integration.
Being aware of both at once
helps bring two separate parts of yourself together
into a deeper wholeness."

This healing work and the channeling exercises
are dramatically changing my life experience at core levels.
One place I feel this most is in my primary relationship with my wife.
To make a long story short,

pp52
I am experiencing often these days
a wholeness and completeness within myself ~
and because of this
I do not feel drawn to meet my partner
in the same intimate-needy places we used to meet often.
And I feel I can not be with her sexually in the same way anymore.

"Yes, and this is actually good news,
you're no longer who you were
and you no longer can do things the way you have.

"Sex as need fulfillment is the norm,
sex as an ecstatic expression of love
is something most people hear or read about
but never believe will happen with them.
But what if it did?
What if in being more of who you really are
you found yourself loving and healing sexually?

She reflects to me disappointment and unfulfillment about these changes,
and I realize this sexual unfulfillment has been within me probably forever.
At this crossroads I wonder
how I will integrate my wounded sexuality
into my healing and wholeness.
This is the place my denials feel the greatest
and I feel most vulnerable to asuric essences.

"This is an easy question to answer,
and a more complex answer to implement.
The answer is you will integrate your wounded sexuality
by 'driving backward' through its healing into wholeness.
Your sexual wounds in this lifetime
are a result of reenactments of the wounds
the Mother experienced in receiving unloving light.
Sex without loving connection has kept those wounds open.
Sex with expectations unfulfilled has deepened them,
and expectations are a result of looking to the future.

"You are looking to change your approach to sex
and find its creative, healing power
that has been hiding under its hurting power.
You can if you go back to the beginning and start again,
start in innocence with your hearts open
to each other and to the Mother and me.
As the Mother and I find each other inside of each of you,
you will recognize our presence in your love.
Then, as our heart presence reaches your lower chakras,
you can express Heart's Desire
in your movement of sexual energy.
It's good to begin with the energy only,
and then add the more physical elements gradually,
as you are moved to.

"The running energy exercise described in the channeling class
is a good way to prepare yourselves
to run loving sexual energy.
Spirit and Mother essence unite in Heart,
and Heart has a place in the center of each chakra.
Heart presence in all chakras
transforms the incredible power of sex
from a hurting presence into a healing presence."

This is the place I know I need do
vast amounts of judgment release
and then emotional movements
to heal the damage I have done to my lower chakras.
I would appreciate Your guidance and coaching here, God.
Do you have sex these days?

"I'll give you the long answer.
For a very long time
I had turned my attention away from the Mother
and found sexual pleasure without lower chakra presence,
as had most of the spirits in Creation
when they followed my lead.

"Lucifer was the exception.
For eons he constantly plagued the Mother
with sadistic, damaging sexual encounters.
His unloving presence was accompanied by asuras
who severely damaged the lower chakras of Creation,
beyond the initial damage the Mother experienced
in the original imprints and the explosion.
As a result, the creative, healing power of sex
and the lust for power over others
have become confused
at nearly every level of sexual experience.

"I am no longer denying that Lucifer is me,
and I am reclaiming more and more of his essence
by pulling that part of myself off of the Mother.
I am now also aware that
as Ahriman in denial
I had damaged the upper chakras of Creation
by engaging in spirit to spirit sexual expression
without lower chakra Heart presence.

pp52
"So no, these days
I'm not having sex in the ways I had before,
as an independent being with so much in denial.
These days I'm participating
in creative, healing sexual expression between humans
when the Mother's willing presence invites me
into the Heart of each chakra
in the energy body of both partners.

"There will be more on this in the next lesson,
and this overview can serve as an introduction to the subject.
Thank you for opening the space for it by asking."
[2009_06_30: I, Christa-Rachel, am sorry, that I cannot see this promise being fulfilled anywhere!}

Contributor's Response to Sex and Love and Healing

Channelers' note:
The contributor of the above post "Sex and Love and Healing"
has responded to God's reply with the following post.
We have added links to other material that is referred to.

Thank You, God, for all you've given me through this site
and especially this healing class.
I feel You here
and receive your gentle direction and reminders
lighting my way back to me and my wholeness.
And I feel you within, more consciously and more often,
enlightening my will with the safe golden glow of LOVE.

You have inspired me to bridge yet another gap,
between my joy and my pain,
and I have already had great success
in becoming aware of them at the same time,
feeling how I can make room for them both
to exist simultaneously,
and experiencing how my joy-spirit
actually moves with purpose
to embrace the pains in me aching for loving embrace.
And thank you for sharing and owning
your own sexual experiences, damages, mistakes and intentions.
I know there's a lot of judgment and misunderstanding about God and sex,
my world reflects this,
but for me I must say that I really dig and respect a God
that comes out straight about sexuality.

My wife and I have recently tried
this sexual healing exercise a few times
with profound results.
First we explored doing the running energy exercise
and the channeling exercise together,
sitting facing each other about six feet apart.
We both feel the benefits of the exercise are magnified
when doing it together,
as long as we are sensitive and aware
of having unique experiences and timings.
What's that famous saying:
"When two or more are gathered in My name..."?

When doing the sexual healing exercise
both my wife and I have experienced and appreciated
the great sense of heart presence with us and between us ~
and entering into more physically intimate expressions
while including this heart space has been truly healing.
For many years we have struggled
with so much pain and fear and rage
coming out of denial around our sexuality.
This felt powerful to open and express such denials,
being sensitive to all we really experience in our sex.
But often the negativity felt so strong
that we questioned how much was really healing in these movements ~
and we feared we couldn't bridge our gaps
and claim our sexual ecstasy.

This new healing exercise (along with the other exercises)
has given us safe harbor
in the storms of our often turbulent healing movements.
Like a mast of a ship we have a focus to hold to,
and in inviting Your Lovingness in
we have received and been blessed and experienced
a sweetness of healing sexual love within us and between us.
I feel You have guided me and us,
just like with the judgment release
and projection reclamation,
to the Center ~
the center of Grandfather's Grace,
the center of Your Love,
where we can experience the healing powers of sexual love.

Staying present for my sexual energies,
or all my energies really,
from this sacred space
has been truly GRACE for me.
In it I feel the blessed miracle of healing
and feel strengthened to invite more and more of me into this center.
And I feel much closer to my wife, thank God.

One challenge has been being patient with intent
as strong habits of passion
move us to repeat our old sexual interactions.
But it has been quite easy for us in remembering
just to tune in to the heart of our chakras
as we express our sexuality,
and this has made for a world of a difference.
I'm excited to experience the evolution of this healing.
Our sensual love is so powerful.
I feel it with me even when not physically making love,
and I desire this inner sexual vibrancy to flower.
Thanks again Coach, sex with You is great!
I invite all of me that's ready to experience this Heart Love.

"You are welcome, of course.
This is very good work you're doing,
bringing ideas about healing into actual practice.
It is one thing to 'know' or 'understand' something,
and quite another to 'do' it.
And as I've said, there will be more on this in the next lesson of the healing class.

In the meantime, you may find it helpful
to consciously practice together
your non-physical lovemaking
in times when it can be appreciated for just what it is,
rather than merely the preliminary to physical loving.

"As you know, it takes only a minute or so
to run your energy once you've practiced it a few times.
You and your wife could take that minute together
at various times throughout the day, if you like.
You may also find it helpful
to establish some regular occasions for heart energy sharing,
for instance just before or after a meal.
You would then being doing 'Grace',
rather than just saying it."

On Belonging to Groups
[quoted on "Godchannel's Homepage: God's Intention" as relevant to "The Walk about Love"]

Dear God, What do you think of the organization and initiation of the New Warriors?

"Groups can be a good place
to begin a journey of self discovery
that may eventually lead to wholeness.
Groups and trainings like this one for men
can also be very good for those
who wish to change their behaviors and beliefs
about themselves and the world,
and release some of the cultural conditioning
related to their roles in life.
However, in organized group work
that is not focused on healing the deepest imprints,
most of the important healing issues are ignored.
The imprints are often covered over
with another kind of conditioning
that serves the integrity of the group,
but not necessarily the integrity of the individual.

"Most groups believe
they have superior understandings and teachings,
and individual members almost always inherit
the group's superiority imprint.
Also, 'initiation' into any kind of group
has too often meant an end
to the unique individual inner journey.
And it has most often meant a joining with others
that may feel like a journey within,
but is rather a resting place in a comfortable group mind.
There is also usually a pressure or tendency for the individual
to take the group mind's sense of truth and reality over their own.

"Most initiates in religious, spiritual and esoteric groups
have lost some or all of their individual identity
and therefore much of their essence
to the group,
and this of course is a serious impediment to healing.
The basic tenets of the group
and the teachings of the leader or guru
form an environment
that the successful initiate must learn to think, feel and relate within.
This causes whatever may be outside of that environment
to become increasingly inaccessible to the initiate seeking inclusion in the group.

"Healing into wholeness is not the aim of most groups.
And even if it was a group's intention,
the very fact of a group
with rules, leaders and role models
would discourage individual efforts
to move beyond the limitations of the group,
except in a rare few.
And those few are the ones
who will find their way out of groups,
and discover their own unique path to Truth.

"While groups can be helpful to a person
getting started on their journey,
the ultimate responsibility for the success of your journey
lies in developing your own unique approach
to healing the relationships among Spirit, Mother, Heart and Body
as they reside within you.
This is why I am putting so much emphasis
on developing inner channels of communication directly with me.
Our inner relationship will enable you
to confidently lead yourself on your own journey,
and with the best guidance available.

"In order to be fully grown up
and Who You Truly Are
you must 'belong' to yourself,
and not to a group
or other person.
It is one thing to work together with others as peers
who have common interests,
and quite another to join a group
whose intention and understandings
can serve only part of the need
for imprint and healing reflections.
The very best approach
to working with others of like mind and intention
is to gather together as peers
without leaders, rules or customs
and share your understandings and healing processes."

Lesson III Discussion 1