I focus my experiencing and awareness on being
"a pioneer of Evolution
in learning to feel":
I let my Body vibrate and my Heart 'womb'
pain, shame, fear, boredom, powerlessness,
so feelings can >heal >guide>fulfill>evolve,
and ~~~ offer ~~~"goldmines"~~~ to us all!!
"I
want you to feel everything, every little thing!"
K.I.S.S. -
L O G 2
0 0 8
Keep It Simple Sweetheart
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
"AZ
NIDBERU"
- My
new Midrash and song
in 5 languages
about the prophecy of Malachi
3, 16
["YHWH" is named "HA-SHEM"= The
Name]
Then those who see Ha-Shem, will talk
among each other,
and he listens and he
hears
yatakaalamuna allathina
yarau'na-hu ,
va-yusri va-yasma'
Dann die IHN schauen, werden reden miteinander,
und er lauscht und er
hoert
Puis ceux qu'ils voient Ha-Shem, se parlent
l'un a l'autre
il entends,
il ecoute
It seems that I chose 26 actors
for my life's drama and those 26 actors chose me! One
common trait of all roles is "mutual dependency"
between them and me.
With 16 actors - my family - the mutual
dependency is life-long! With my landlords
at Arad & with my 6 starchildren, born
between 1986-88, it may be temporary. My children: Immanuel, Ronnit, Micha; my
children-in-love: Efrat, Uri, Ra'ayah; my 10 grandchildren [born
1987-2005): Elah-Alon-Tomer-Mika; Jonathan-Rotem-Yael-Itamar;
Arnon-Ayelet
My landlords: Ofir & Meital+ Lior (2002) & Amit (2005).
My starchildren: Lior Oren, Zipi Winkler , Dina Strat , Meshi
Taib, Gal Mor, Boris Arons [26=YHWH=13+13=ahavah+ahavah =LOVE!]
Actions:
To thepool
once
with Ofir to and fro
Garden: it rained, the chry-santhemum needed to be tied!
Kisslog: healing-creating
TV & Internet: learning
Making "apples in pyjama" from my uneatable cookies
Interactions:
with Ofir & Amit to the pool.
Back with Ofir
short reaction from GalMor
and from Immanuel ("Efrat doesn't want the carpet...")
Know exactly what you want, communicate clearly what you want,
then get out of the way, live and play, and let happen what
may
I
desire that the strained ligament from the back of my knee downward
will heal more quickly!
I desire the fast return of "Babylon",
so indispensable for my creating my website in English
I desire to sculpt two painful TV-experiences: Ranin from Neve-Shalom
& Nuri, the Bedouin.
I desire - after the completion of all past kiss-log pages -
to carry out the other waiting tasks.
I desire that Immanuel & Efrat will cope well with and grow
through their big problems.
I desire, that my vision for the future of Bedouins & Jews
around here will somehow take root
and avoid a"Bedouin
Intifada,
compared to which the Palestinian Intifada will be simple!"
Despite
the wondrous story about the rainbow in
Genesis 9
in which 'bow' appears 3 times & God's 'Covenant' 7 times~
there comes Genesis
11 and in it the sad symbol "Babylon":
people do not understand each other, cannot communicate It's
said:The first rainbow after the flood was seen in Kislev
May my 'Babylon' symbolize
the One multi-colored rainbow.
hodayot [thanksgivings] for
today
My
Body, my Partner,
my God
Being forced
to attend to my injured
Posterior Cruciate Ligament
I want to give thanks
to our most
complex knee joint,
which is crossed by the PCL
between the Femur above
and the Tibia & Fibula below.
It allows our knee to flex-extend
and slightly rotate in its motion.
I'm grate-full for all the obviously "inspired"
letters I was able to write.
I'm grate-full for all the softwares, which allow me to create
my website,
and today for "Babylon", the fantastic English/German/Hebrew
dictionary,
which allows me to sculpt in a language, which is neither my
mother tongue,
nor the language I use every day, but is spoken by the entire
world.
I am grate-full for "Babylon" as a symbol of my childhood's
dream:
Since I had learnt - at the age of 8 - how God confounded
[balal] their
language,that they may not understand one another's speechGn
11:7+9 I prayed on my knees, night after night,
that God my cancel this curse,
"for if people will speak ONE language again, there won't
be wars!"
I'm grate-full that the One language does not wipe out the many
languages!
[repetition of part
of my study of a Godchannel file on Oct.
29]
...... "This ancient transpersonal
hatred and strife,
this never-ending war,
has felt good to a great many humans
who have made it their own at the personal level.
There are still many on Earth who love a good fight,
and there is still enormous energy
to prolong the ancient battle of the Father Warriors against
the Will."
I can see that this fear of the
Will is the primary cause for the first Wars,
but it is NOT the reason for "the
love of a good fight on Earth."
The deepest reason behind the strange phenomenon of "volunteering
for battle",
as I've pointed out so often,
is boredom , lack of selfworth and lack of
full-fill-ment,
or phrased differently:
the hope to escape boredom,
the hope to feel worthy,
the hope to feel full-filled.
Another passage, which needs repetition:
I've no problem with "owning
the perpetrations",
but I must practice owning the joyful creations
You Are the Universe
"To get a feel for this
movement, pause for a moment now~~~
and imagine something good in Creation.
When you have chosen something~~~
observe it carefully and then say to yourself,
'I did that.'
The 'I' who was speaking
was speaking for the deepest part of your identity.
You were speaking for Us, the Creators in you.
....
Time
and again
a sudden "nano-event" of beauty
catches my eye and heart,
like a waving branch
outside the mosquito screen of my window.
It was last Shabbat morning
at Bet Nehemya in my room,
when I became alert to such a scene [below].
And again two days ago,
but this time in my room at Arad.
Since I wasn't content with the
result at Bet Nehemya,
I was more careful in taking the picture in Arad....
Meital
and Lior traveled to Eilat with friends.,
At night Ofir wanted to attend a wedding.
Amit chose to sleep at Rachel's...
His first desire: "Can I play
[the keyboard]?"
So he plays - sensitively like it suits this child,
a star-child of a younger generation.
Meital was pregnant with him,
when I "settled" underneath their flat
on December 3, 2004...
The evening before, the big star-child Boris
[bad photo] - seen by chance on the computer screen
behind Amit's head,
also wanted to play the piano,
delighting in the creation of his own music:
Then
he wanted "something to play with"! So I brought him,
what I like best:
magnets and metal balls. He wasn't so good
in combining magnets and balls,
but he invented his own game: rolling the balls on the tray
and through it!
When it was eight o'clock, Amit was ready
to sleep,
with not the slightest word of opposition.
At 22:20 I leaned beside him and watched "Polygraph".
This time it was excellent and deeply moving.
It was the eve of the couples first wedding anniversary.
The woman had to hear so horrid confessions ("do you use this program as a catharsis?"
asked the moderator),
that I was sure, this was the end of the marriage.
But the sincerety and honesty of the man was such,
that despite the "booh-booh"
from the audience,
not only I was touched by it.
He had wanted to play up to a million, his dream being,
to build a house for his family - with one child so far. ("I'm not a good father because of
one drawback:
when I'm furious at someone, like my wife,
I scream in front of the baby, and this is very bad."
His wife, when asked: "He is a very
good father!")
but when he reached 200000 NIS, he stopped.
And not because he was afraid of more dangerous confessions. "Before the game I was asked 50 questions
by the polygraph,
and I had no problem with answering them all.
But then I was alone, not facing my wife,
not seeing so much pain in her eyes."
The same wife, about whom he had been forced to confess,
that "she is less important to me
than my [original]
family.
It was then, that the moderator - as I - felt, that there was
a chance,
that this couple could - not rebuild - but build
their relationship,
and now on the basis of truth and justified trust.
He allowed himself to express this hope towards the couple!!!!
A mystical photo created itself,
when Ranin had to leave the house within 90 seconds.
My lamp is reflected on the image and thus connects her and
me....
I've been procrastinating this talk
with you [Code: "Ranin & Nuri"],
like I did all my life, when I had to write a paper, a document,
an article,
anything that needs to be written with the mind,
which always brings up my patterned feelings of "inadaquacy".
"It's funny, isn't it?
Particularly, when nobody forces you to do this!"
Are you making fun of me? Are you telling me: "let go!"
?
"Is that how you know me?
I laugh with you, not about you!
And weren't you inspired when you wrote those difficult letters
yesterday?
There is something that you need to learn from "Ranin
& Nuri",
and what better date than Rosh Hodesh Kislev is there?
And it's also Shabbat Eve and the Eve of Kaf-tet
be-November!
And now that you've indeed completed all kisslog pages, aren't
you free?
But first take a break, lie down and breathe , with your hands
on your eyes!"
18:50
So much yawning came up, and legs and Body moved in all directions.
Thanks for reminding me of this fantastic "Paula-Key",
which I had forgotten.
"You reminded yourself,
when you sang
"Hands on Eyes" 3 times in the pool!
And now that some days have passed and your FEELINGS
had time to be felt,
let SPIRIT guide
you towards understanding and expanding into New Heart!"
I am feeling, sensing, hearing you!
"Ranin served her people
wonderfully well, even the facilitators said this.
She herself is free of any bitterness, and only happy with
both facts:
that she is back with her old loved-ones,
and that her new friends will stay friends!
The fact, that she had no lobby in the Arab sector, is of
no consequence.
Be joyous and grate-full that she played her actually "impossible"
role well:
Being born as an Arab citizen in a state which is surrounded
by Arab enemies!
Your "Neve-Shalom"
has been truly triumphant in Ranin Bolus!
"As to the victim-feeling: "the
good ones loose, the evil ones win":
you know yourself, that this is not even to the point:
The Big Brother Game gives you, Christa-Rachel Bat-Adam, a
chance,
which you don't have anywhere else, especially not in your
present seclusion:
the chance to live with all kinds of "colors of the one
rainbow" -day and night,
but without being involved with them physically, without dependency!
You have a chance to truly test your belief in the "puzzle
metaphor": "All pieces are needed! If
the tiniest of pieces is missing, there is no puzzle!" [See the images in
RedSeaPartnerSHIP
1998]
You become aware over and over again, how you change your
judgments.
But this is a very limited change so far!
You realize, that you still judge people who do not live up
to your own values,
and only when you see Yossi's moving statement in the "Confession
Room", see
Nov. 5
do you "forgive" him or find a compensation in it
for the rest of his behavior.
"You felt self-pity, because "Ranin
erred once and already is eliminated,
while others are often outright vicious , but "the public"
wants them to play on!"
But Ranin plays one role and Yossi or Shakhar play other roles,
would you like the pieces in the puzzle to be all the same,
all "Ranin"?
"I want you to explore the "co-play" of all
, all, all actors in your drama,
even if those actors have no idea about your existence and
your watching.
Any virtual person who triggers or pleases you, is an actor
in your drama,
and you heal, learn, create through him-her,
and this in a much easier lighter way than with "Mutual
Dependency Actors"!
YAAAAAAH!
I can intuit, even mentally understand what you say,
it is so absolutely congruent with all my knowing,
and at the same time I'm scared,
that I'll never be able to apply this understanding.
How, for instance, if we now go on to the code "Nuri",
should I relate to the puzzle-piece "Shalom", my
neighbor,
[whose "Cain"
expresses as such haughtiness & hatred agains the Bedouin...]
and to all the other "more civilized" officials
in that Blue
Card documentary?
Even Shmuel
Rifman, who loved my vision in the past , is on
"the other side".
"Again, your re-action to the doc was "a bit out-dated"
You know, that your task in the exterior world,
your "Peace-through-Desert-Hosting-Economy"
is finished.
What you did, is not lost, though the fruits are not visible.
Remember the sentence from a channeled phone-talk with Nomi
Heifetz 2003 [mentioned
on August 21!] "What you want to
manifest,
has already manifested in another dimension.
There is a "tribe" of ten-thousands or more.
All you have to do is le-hit'aneg, to delight in it."
Do no longer focus on all the strife, all the oppression ,
which pains you .
Do not take sides!
Both , Jews and Bedouin, have chosen their roles in the common
drama.
Trust, that both need these circumstances in order to heal
and grow.
Focus on your present assignment:
to embrace and womb all your aspects , all YOUR colors,
in New Heart,
and live this as you know that you must live it:
finding what excites and full-fills you
and radiate this like a Laser
ray to all these people,
be they nations in the Negev, or players in the Big Brother
community. "
Thank you sooooo much!
[On
Nov. 30 - you added
another sentence, reminding me of our communication on
Oct. 28]
"... and feel and breathe all your nano-problems in body
and soul
v i c a r i o u s ly for those humans who still have such
a hard time to feel.."
I wanted to "lean back and enjoy TV",
but the message above was put to the test:
It's only now that I heard about the Terror-attack on Bombay,
and there on the Jewish
Chabad house, where no survivors were left
which has started already 48 hours ago and is still going on.
Song of the Day
Who
will bring to us shalom
|: with all our neighbors :|
|: Only me and only you
by our own true efforts: |
Salaam, Shalom, Shalom, Salaam
Ranin appear outside "the House"
Ranin waves to the people outside
Ranin presses hands
Ranin walks up with Assi to the place,
where she meets her mother and her sister
and then is interviewed by the 2 moderators,
while - on the screen in the background-
the "tenants" go on with their life.
Ranin's mother (Neve-Shalom?)
and her boyfriend Taisir.
Then Ranin watches excerpts from her 84 days in the BigBrother
prison:
Her despair in the Confession-Room,
when the others sang the Israeli Anthem: "A
Jewish soul", all these things,
but I--"
"don't have this Jewish soul, so
what?"
"My God, What is this? What?"
There was an assignment,
which had to be carried out
by 2 persons .
Whenever those two failed
- about every 10 seconds
or so it seemed to me then,
all the others were inflicted
with an electrical shock and jumped and screamed,
like Ranin & Vanessa to the left.
Ranin (to the right): "By my mother,
to talk about
the Israeli-Palestinian conflict
is easier than that"
There was one week,
when the "tenants" didn't have to propose
2 candidates for dismissal,
but "one (!0)person whom you want to stay".
Yoni proposed Ranin
and explained in the "Confession Room": "In my opinion she is the most genuine
thing
which is here in the house. "
Right now - in the comic program "Little Sister",
which I discovered by chance at 21:30,
just when Ranin entered...
she protested against the image of Yoni
as a dumb man. "I had very good talks with him,
about life etc."
"Be strong", said
the driver of the silver-taxi to her.
The only person from
the outside world,
who was allowed to interact with "The House"
was connected to the "Trivia-Assignment" "I am very strong, as an Israeli,
as an Arab,
also as a Palestinian, also as all "
During the interview with Erez and Assi there
always appeared one of her former inmates on the screen.
I don't know, if this was posed, or if this happened by chance, in
any case it connected her to each one
with Shifra
with Yossi
with Einav
with Leon, with Ina, with Shakhar
Ranin was for the very first time proposed as
a candidate for dismissal, and this by Einav, Shakhar and Yossi
Einav felt very hurt by the fact, that after Tzabbar's dismissal
, the other people were "not good
enough"
"This hurt me very very much on that
day"
Shakhar wants her to leave, because she so often wanted to go
and then changed her mind
Yossi: "She
started to play Hide & Seek,
but I loathe (what's the English slang?) hearing,
her voice and her screams and her crying,
and Imman and Abba, and I loathe it, and I want her (to leave)
"
with Itai in the background
And here the last image of the merry Ranin [again
with Leon in the background] - as a contrast to Yossi's words
More about "The Crying Ranin":
Just
in the right moment I was reminded, by chance, of "Little
Sister",
the Friday night program in the "Laughter-Channel"
"Beep",,
in which the latest person dismissed from "The House"
is interviewed.
Two very similar looking women,
one the Jewish moderator, one the Arab Big Brother star,
kept me fascinated - [together with one of the
in-between shows, a rapper]
"Why did you cry so much, Ranin?"
And present Ranin has to watch past Ranin. [see more
on Nov. 30]
Actions:
To thepool
once
with Ofir to and fro
Garden: it rained, the chry-santhemum needed to be tied!
Kisslog: healing-creating
TV & Internet: learning
Making "apples in pyjama" from my uneatable cookies
Interactions:
with Ofir & Amit to the pool.
Back with Ofir
short reaction from GalMor
and from Immanuel ("Efrat doesn't want the carpet...")
Particularly, when nobody forces you to do this!"
