I focus my experiencing and awareness on being
"a pioneer of Evolution
in learning to feel":
I let my Body vibrate and my Heart 'womb'
pain, shame, fear, boredom, powerlessness,
so feelings can >heal >guide>fulfill>evolve,
and ~~~ offer ~~~"goldmines"~~~ to us all!!
"I
want you to feel everything, every little thing!"
K.I.S.S. -
L O G 2
0 0 8
Keep It Simple Sweetheart
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
"AZ
NIDBERU"
- My
new Midrash and song
in 5 languages
about the prophecy of Malachi
3, 16
["YHWH" is named "HA-SHEM"= The
Name]
Then those who see Ha-Shem, will talk
among each other,
and he listens and he
hears
yatakaalamuna allathina
yarau'na-hu ,
va-yusri va-yasma'
Dann die IHN schauen, werden reden miteinander,
und er lauscht und er
hoert
Puis ceux qu'ils voient Ha-Shem, se parlent
l'un a l'autre
il entends,
il ecoute
Actions:
Kisslog: healing-creating
Playing with Mika
TV & Internet: learning
"Big Brother",
"Once in a life-time"
Interactions: To
Ofir : I'll come home only next Monday. I forgot to pack the
veranda. Yes 3 times rain!
SMS from Narda: We'll meet in Arad soon. Dental Clinic: new
tor:
Nov. 12, 11:00 and 11:30 with Immanuel, Efrat, Mika
The FOCUS of MY INTENTION
TODAY 8:30-10:35 I desire to breathe & dance
all of yesterday's feelings which are still revolving in my
body,
(a) the feelings of powerlessness concerning what I perceive
or project as T.'s boredom
(b) my fear, what E's"witnessing" T's boredom might
do to her since she projects just like I do,
(c)my embarrassment, which chokes me when I believe, that something
is expected from me: "It's expected
that I leave my k.is.s.-log creation&healing on the computer
and be with Tomer"
(d) but feeling also, that my very "being around"
causes embarrassment and even damage.
I desire to no longer try to change the reasons (patterns, beliefs,
judgments) for these feelings
but to feel, move, accept them - vicariously - for all humans
who are afraid to feel "the Mother".
image
of the night : rain and light
hodayot [thanksgivings] for
today
I am grate-full for being confronted only with such nano-circumstances
as the situation with T. yesterday afternoon,
I am grate-full, that I am capable of bearing the shame, "that such ridiculous
problems
can cause me to feel such terrible feelings,
while others have real reasons for feeling terrible."
I am grate-full that it is still raining,
isn't this a sign, that I'm finally on the right track
- not hating my feelings, because they are unjustified or
ridiculous,
but feeling them as humanity's feelings,
moving them with all my body and embracing them with all my
heart?
Isn't this symbolized in the image of tonight:
the lights in the darkness
intermingling with the water
pouring from the sky ~~~ gathering on the ground?
My Body, my Partner,
my God
I give thanks to our physical
heart, its Right Ventricle,
its Left Ventricle,
its Aortic Semilunar Valve, its Atrioventricular
Valve, its Chordae Tendineae,
its Papillary Muscles, its
Trabeculae Carneae, its Coronary Artery,
its Brachiocephalic Artery , its Subclavian Artery,
its Common Carotid Artery,
its Ligmentum Arteriosum, its Pulmonary Veins
Immanuel is about to bring Efrat to work, Mika
to the kindergarden, Tomer to Bne-Arazim.
I run in to get my camera - to catch these two stepsiplings sitting
so neatly next to each other -
to no avail - Tomer hides behind the front seat...
Original
Theme of Ph.D.
Thesis, 1966 : "The Idea of VICARIOUS SUFFERING
as an ANSWER to INNOCENT SUFFERING (i.e. my coping with
the holocaust)".
[Final Hebrew Title 1972:
"The PERCEPTION of SUFFERING and SOLIDARITY with
the SUFFERERS"]
How strange, that this long forgotten concept pierced
my mind today,
when I tried to understand your shocking message:
"You are relatively
whole now,
i.e. free of the kind of suffering which is the result
of denial and judgments.
Therefore the suffering which you sometimes feel even
nowadays,
though you cannot find it justified,
has a purpose, not a cause.
"The Christian concept
of suffering "vicariously",
based on the so-called "Suffering
Servant" in Isaiah 53 , especially verse 10
Yet it pleased the LORD to crush him by disease;
to see if his soul would offer itself in restitution
actually means "being
PUNISHED vicariously",
and, of course, you never could come to terms with this
concept.
"But what about applying the term "vicariously"
to FEELING?
We do not intend feeling "solidarity" with
the sufferers.
You've been great at that and you've
written your book about that.
"We mean a capacity, a quality,
which so far has not occurred to you as possible or
even necessary:
You, as being an aspect of the whole,
a color of the one rainbow,
a wave of the one ocean,
a ray of the one sun,
you are capable of FEELING vicariously:
"whenever "unjustified" or "ridiculous"
feelings are stirred up in you,
--- instead of hating yourself for these, shaming yourself
for these,
you may EXPAND~ into becoming ~New Heart uniting Spirit
and Will~
and ~ in that moment ~ breathe, move, sound all the
feelings in people,
which are still denied, because people are too scared
of feeling them.
"In other words:
instead of trying to minimize those "ridiculous"
feelings,
instead of trying to get rid of them or - what is the
same - "find their cause",
you EXPAND
and identify with the entire rainbow, the entire ocean,
the entire sun
and feel and move all there is to feel and to move
and then embrace it all.
"You then will not re-act stupidly in order to
make Tomer talk, for instance.
Instead you'll EXPAND your feelings of embarrassment
into 'a world balloon'!
"You then will not become defensive, when Efrats
laughs about you,
that you again didn't leave water for the next person
in the electric kettle.
Instead you'll EXPAND your feeling unjustly blamed into
'a world balloon'!
"You'll not feel ashamed for feeling bothered and
irritated,
when someone or something disturbs your routine &
throws you out of balance
Instead you'll EXPAND your feeling itchy into 'a world
encompassing balloon'.
"And you breathe this balloon
of vicarious feelings!
And you roll this balloon around the world lovingly
and laughingly!
And denials will melt away without the need for decades
of effort."
AMEN! Oh, may it be like you
say!
1967[in
an ancient ruin near the Dead Sea] ca.
1968 [Going into a tunnel(King Solomon's Mines near
Eilat)]
"Joomla
is an award-winning content management system (CMS),
which enables you to build Web sites and ...online applications.
Many aspects, including its ease-of-use and extensibility,
have made Joomla the most popular Web site software
available.
Best of all, Joomla
is an open source solution
that is freely available to everyone.
"Since Joomla
is so easy to use, as a Web designer or developer,
you can quickly build sites for your clients.
Then, with a minimal amount of instruction, you can empower your clients
to easily manage their own sites themselves.
"If your clients
need specialized functionality,
Joomla is highly extensible and thousands of extensions
(most for free under the GPL license)
are available in the Joomla Extensions Directory."
Immanuel sent
me two links to two websites,
to which he contributed his graphical and other skills:
a small site which is still under construction,
about my daughter's new business
with its goal to empower people to find the job,
which will give them self-esteem, satisfaction and a
living, www.mekomot, co.il.
and an international site about a company
which helps save electricity www.ces.co.il
["The most environmentally
sound , inexpensive and reliable power plant
is the one we don't have to build,
because we've helped our customers save energy."
Motto of the page: The
energy management challenge]
My feed-back led Immanuel to tell me about "Joomla".
This new method of building websites makes me feel,
as if I were working with methods of the stone-age. For instance, when Immanuel taught
me to build "Healingkiss",
in May 2001,
the use of "tables". on which each of my pages
is based,
was "in".
Now, everything is "table-less",
and one of the damaging results of my many tables is,
that Google's "Search" doesn't consider content
in tables.
On the other hand, it is exciting , yes exhilarating,
that "Joomla" is "open-sourced"
, [in a way like "Wikipedia"]:
Everybody can contribute to it and does so free of charge,
and in the end everything is making money by it.
There are 2 million users and already 3000 "extensions",
i.e. contributions from 3000 expert developers. It is a sign,
that the world is moving away from competition
and heading towards win-win cooperation
Late Afternoon Idyll
Unlike her mother I did not command her: "eat!",
but put a plate with cut fruits on the table and ate myself , with a
little fork. So she got her own fork and ate...
I forgot to activate the flash, but want to remember,
how Mika put on her cute coat, told Abba something concerning the
fridge
and then left with Imma for the Hanni Circle
The following situation occurred on
October 31, but on that date there is not enough space to insert
these images Striving to make use of the minutes of day-light
to take Mika out, I suggested after kindergarden (closes
at 12:00 on Fridays),
that before her afternoon nap we go and see the sheep of our neighbors
across
It was this far, that the sheepish looking
sheep let us approach them without running away
She was so afraid of the sheep, that she
didn't let me get up just to take her picture.
So I let her hold my left hand, while I clicked the camera with the
right hand. "Where is the man",Mika
had asked. "The man is called 'shepherd' !" I
taught her
and was not surprised that she remembered deaf-mute Ahmed from our
first visit in August 25.
Not only Ahmed came, but the couple who owns
the farm across my children's rented house approached us too: "Who
are you?"
I tried to make friends with Rina (her husband
David didn't stop to meet us), but
to my regret Mika didn't cooperate.
Except for once "To what kindergarden
do you go", "to Mummy's" (I
told Rina, that this is at Shoham, not at Bet Nehemya),
she didn't answer any of Rina's questions, not even about her name.
ANd when I teased her as on other such occasions: "Are
you called Shoshana?" she didn't
react either.
She hadn't wanted to see the sheep in the first place,
only when her mother said; "Don't
you want to see the sheep Shoshana?" -
which is a figure in a movie or in a book,
she agreed to come with me, but then was disappointed that we didn't
see the real sheep Shoshana...
I asked Rina - a mother of 3 teenage boys - if we could enter more
often. "Only if Ahmed is here, you know
I am afraid of all kinds of people..."
I didn't say, that then there was no chance, for how was I to call
deaf Ahmed to verify his presence in the compound?
I was a bit sad, that Mika , who likes animals so much, is not attracted
to these sheep
and mostly didn't even agree to put her princess feet on the straw-manure
covered ground.
I had to lift her on my arms....
Actions:
Kisslog: healing-creating
Playing with Mika
TV & Internet: learning
"Big Brother",
"Once in a life-time"
Interactions: To
Ofir : I'll come home only next Monday. I forgot to pack the
veranda. Yes 3 times rain!
SMS from Narda: We'll meet in Arad soon. Dental Clinic: new
tor:
Nov. 12, 11:00 and 11:30 with Immanuel, Efrat, Mika
