The
Purpose of HEALING - K.I.S.S.
- as stated 12 years ago - was and is
to help me and my potential P E E R s
"to HEAL ourselves into WHOLEness,
and - by extension - all of CREATion!" |
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I focus my experiencing and awareness on being
"a pioneer of Evolution
in learning to feel":
I let my Body vibrate and my Heart 'womb'
pain, shame, fear, boredom, powerlessness,
so feelings can >heal >guide>fulfill>evolve,
and ~~~ offer ~~~"goldmines"~~~ to us all!!
"I
want you to feel everything, every little thing!"
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K.I.S.S. -
L O G 2
0 0 8
Keep It Simple Sweetheart
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How
Learn
And
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I
The
Train
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Heal
Conditions
In
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Myself
For
Creating
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Into
Heaven
Those
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Whole
On
Conditions
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Self-acceptance
Earth
Daily
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Click!
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Then those who see Ha-Shem, will talk
among each other,
and he listens and he
hears
yatakaalamuna allathina
yarau'na-hu ,
va-yusri va-yasma'
Dann die IHN schauen, werden reden miteinander,
und er lauscht und er
hoert
Puis ceux qu'ils voient Ha-Shem, se parlent
l'un a l'autre
il entends,
il ecoute
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Intro
to
k.i.s.s.-l o g + all
dates
~ Library of
7 years ~ HOME
~ contact ~
SEARCH
( of Latin characters only!) my
eldest granddaughter's video-gallery
September
5/ Elul 5, Friday, 21th
day of "having died to righteousness"
-at
Arad
Actions and Interactions: pool-twice; ~~~ meeting Meital in her predicament,
s. tomorrow
Parting from my
obsession to complete this page--- on Sept. 7
back to past ~~~~~
forward to future
The FOCUS of MY INTENTION
TODAY
Know exactly what you want, communicate clearly what you want,
then get out of the way, live and play, and let happen what
may
I don't exist to reach any goals, rather my goals exist to give
me reason for action and pretext for interaction !
8:05
I desire - on this day - to
focus entirely on completing
the creations of my recent past (August!)
and postpone my virtual (?) participation in the Big Brother
Drama and its meaning for Israel.
I desire to
sacrifice the miniscule denial
spirits/asuras and to heal the gaps which
attract them.
I desire to understand, how I - on the level of Deity - can
become parental to
"Kobyla the Mare"..
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When,
before sunrise on July 2 , I
followed Zipi, the shepherdess,
I stumbled upon this naked doll.
"It has been there ever since I started
this job.
I am not capable of lifting it up. "
There was nothing to be said
about the reason for her feelings.
When Tomer later
stumbled upon the same doll,
he shuddered
and could not lift it either.
I did not shudder less,
but I felt,
I had to redeem this symbol
of 1 500 000 children
trampled to death.
"I'll wash it clean
and then knit clothes
around its body",
I said and "disposed" it
in the dirty laundry corner,
until it re-appeared today,
exactly today,
when I'm shattered
by "Kobyla the Mare"...
"there are no shillumim,
"Reparations"
for the heart of a mother,
whose child was shmashed
against the wall",
wrote
the Jewish man, Rafael Rosenzweig
to the German girl, Christa Guth.
But what about that woman ,
"Kobyla the Mare"?
What about those Israeli mothers
who now drowned their small children?
What about me,
who is connected to all these "colors
of the one rainbow"?
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hodayot [thanksgivings] for
today
8:45
My Body, my Partner,
my God
I give thanks to the 150 000 kilometers
of blood-vessels [as
told in 3SAT, Nano],
which nourish all your organs and mainly your brain with oxygen
and energy,
I give thanks to your heart which pumps this nourishment through
you,
beating 3 000 000 000 times during an average life.
I'm grate-full to myself, for having overcome the "ridiculous"
panic
of operating the new-old washing-machine for the first time
after 3 months
(Ofir got it from our neighbors Albert and Tzacha and thought
it wise to replace with it the one he had installed in my
toilet-room, when
I began to rent this one-room flat on Dec. 3, 2004, though
it's 10 years old, older than the one I had - and despite
explanations the laundry didn't get rinsed, so I gave urgent
items to Efrat to wash and - afraid -let the other things
accumulate - until today)
I'm grate-full for being loving enough to "the
Mother", i.e. God's Feelings,
to accept and move
and evolve also those fears which I call "ridiculous"!!
12:00 Should I be grate-full
for having rescued and today washed that doll?
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"Driving
Backward into the Future"
The page 55 [...Kobyla the
Mare...] in Daan
van Kampenhoot's "Tears of the Ancestors" should
be read only after the following pages:
Chapter 5
Hiding the Perpetrators
"While
I am leading a seminar in Berlin,
I have time for a visit to the "memorial
to the Murdered Jews of Europe,"
located right in the new city center.
...but upon actually visiting the
monument, I find it strangely beautiful.
As I walk through the rows and rows of immense grey concrete
blocks,
long tunnels open up and close again at the left and the right
of me.
Through these tunnels I see fragments of people,
some are close by and others are far away.
But the moment I glimpse them, they are already gone again.
The monument seems to swallow people!
Walking through it, I experience a pecular sense of isolation,
which brings me to a silent inner place.
Finally, I sit down at the edge of the field of
Christa-Rachel:
This perspective on the perpetrator
feels so right and over-ripe to me!
I remember, how the Palestinian grandfather in "Good
Intentions" said to his granddaughter:
"See the man who murdered Saadat, does he have a name?
And those who murdered Gandhi and Martin Luther King and Kennedy,
do they have names?
They are all forgotten. The murderers , the suicide-killers
do not win honor in history."
I felt, that something was not right in this "fact",
and now I know, what it is,
the perpetrator is an aspect of me just like the victim,
and I must become "parental"
to both.
systemic
solution. The question is relevant, because from a certain
perspective, nothing is solved when perpetrator and
victim merge with each other. Why not? Because the perpetrators
do not become a reintegrated part of their own original
system, and neither do their victims. The constellations
that set up a row of victims and a row of perpetrators
do not include the families of origin anymore, and the
original task of integrating them back is forgotten.
Or is it avoided? At any rate, the most essential movement
is by-passed."
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Finetuning
to my Present
On the way to the morning pool
after having edited the "Skirt-Asura-Sculpture"
I suddenly remembered what I had read in the train -
before ! stitching the skirt-
about a woman - yes , a woman - who ....
(I can not type this with
my own fingers... it can be read in the scanned page).
After having coped all my life
with "stories about" atrocities-not -to-be-grasped
I was surprised, that "Kobyla the Mare" could
shatter me that much.
I again thought of the three children, all around 4
years old,
who were murdered within 2 weeks in the State of Israel,
two of them by their own mothers, one - the suspect
is the grandfather,
and while breathing strongly, and swimming and swinging
in the water,
I saw with my inner eyes - Mika under boots of "Kobyla
the Mare" -
and then the beautiful people in the Big Brother Drama
- as children,
and then the 4 year old children deserted for 100 days
by 2 of the participants,
- one of them - Miki - I judged so
heavily,
that I wanted her to be the person, meant to be disposed
on the second night.
Not only - I am aware that I judge! - did she haughtily
declare,
that the one reason for her participation was "money",
though her flashy made-up appearance didn't suggest
that she needed it!
But we, the observers, saw how the expression of the
little girl's face changed,
when her mother disappeared behind the door,
which might be locked for 100 days.
And, indeed, after the counting-error had been cleared
up, it turned out,
that this mother had been among the "disposables"
by her Big Brother mates.
I remembered the two "other"
scenes, which for me epitomize EVIL,
the one which was reported during the Eichmann trial
and almost cost my sanity
and which caused me to choose the name Rachêl
[see
Midrash on my names]
"SS-men wanted to watch a birth,
so 3 women about to deliver were thrown on the cold
concrete floor
with piercing flashlights on them from above.
The babies died right there,
the mothers were thrown into the gaschambers"
and the other reported by "God" himself (see
in pp 42 Victim and Perpetrator).
"Physicians were conducting
'medical experiments'...
I had been in places like this so many times before,
watching yet another perpetrator and victim
play out the original imprints of Creation.
And as always,
I was waiting for the realization
to strike one of them
that they each were both a perpetrator and a victim.
"A soon-to-be new
mother was in labor,
and the experiment was to find out
what would happen if the child could not be born.
As the experimenters tied the Mother's legs together
and strapped her to the table,
they asked themselves,
'Will only the child die?
Or will the mother die too?
If so, who will die first?"
I cannot put it into words,
what my Tomer-less Lesson and my Skirt-Asura-Lesson
have to do with the asuras in the Kobyla the Mare drama.
I only know, that by learning both lessons, I'll become
parental to the latter. |
["mare" is not only a female horse,
it's also the Latin word for "sea",
and from there a mare on the moon or Mars is a large dark
plain surface.
"Kobyla" means "mare" = female horse,
in Russian and was the name of the ancestor of the
House of Romanov.
As to a female horse,- the only death of an animal I mourned
in my childhood, was the death of the mare "Muella",
which was buried in the orchard behind our "house"
in the village, to which we were evacuated between 1944 and
1946.
All these associations don't seem to be helpful at all, they
are just sidetracking me from the feelings....
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Big Brother Drama
15:30
All
the while the Big Brother drama goes on.
I watched a while yesterday night, and I watched again, while
eating my lunch.
It looked like a scene in paradise:
beautiful young men and women "talking to each other",
laughing a lot,
often singing some improvised tune,
two men massaging pretty women,
right now, most of them are in the small swimming pool,
eating and drinking whenever they like,
retreating and sleeping whenever they want...
I can imagine many spectators become bitter with envy.
They don't know, what lies ahead,
probably Sartre's "L'enfers c'est les autres"
Nor did they hear Renin yesterday:
"I
feel, I won't be able to bear this for long.
I feel bad. I don't know what to do with myself."
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Big Brother Drama 16:15
After a nap I ate two of the Moroccan
cakes of Efrat's mother,
and while doing so, entered the Big Brother scene again.
Asher, the religious guy, was preparing a meat-dish,
while Leon, the twin-brother of Boris, whom I hated in the
beginning,
but now, that he lost his posing, I start to like him, stated:
"animals
are preserving the pain they felt, in the meat that you eat."
Asher: "animals
are there to eat and to be eaten"....
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Why, why did he die?
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Der unermüdliche Vermittler
The Untiring Mediator
Exactly today - doc in 3SAT about
the Israeli Dan Bar-On
( I think I knew him once),
exactly my age,
but died yesterday.
Arabs-Jews, Jews-Germans,
3 generations
of holocaust-survivors. |
Der israelische Psychologe und Autor Dan Bar-On ist im Alter
von 69 Jahren gestorben. Wie die Hamburger Körber-Stiftung
mitteilte, starb der Co-Direktor des Peace Research Institute
in the Middle East (PRIME) nach langer Krankheit am 4. September
2008 in Tel Aviv. "Dan Bar-On hat die Körber-Stiftung
über Jahre als Autor und als Leiter unseres nach ihm benannten
Dan Bar-On Dialogue Trainings begleitet",.
Dan Bar-On wurde 1938 in Haifa als Sohn deutsch-jüdischer
Eltern geboren, die nur knapp dem Holocaust entkommen waren.
Er studierte Psychologie und spezialisierte sich auf die Therapie
von Holocaust-Überlebenden. In den letzten Jahren beschäftigte
er sich vor allem mit dem Israel-Palästina-Konflikt.
Gefragt nach den Gemeinsamkeiten der
Verständigungsarbeit mit den Kindern von Holocaust-Opfern
und den Nachkommen der Täter und der Vermittlungsarbeit
mit Israelis und Palästinensern antwortete er im
Juni 2006 dem "Hamburger-Abendblatt": "Zunächst
einmal gibt es große Unterschiede. Der Holocaust ist seit
60 Jahren vorüber, er dauert nicht an - außer in
den Köpfen und Herzen der Menschen. Der andere Fall ist
ein aktueller, ungelöster Konflikt. Zudem gab es nach dem
Holocaust keinen Zweifel, wer die Täter und wer die Opfer
waren. Im israelisch-palästinensischen Konflikt gibt es
dagegen sehr wohl Uneinigkeit darüber, wer die wahren Opfer
und die wahren Täter sind. Es ist nicht so leicht zu definieren."
Auf die Frage, ob seine Arbeit sein Menschenbild verändert
habe, sagt Bar-On: "Was ich durch meine Forschungen gelernt
habe, ist, dass wir alle aus einer Collage
verschiedener Teile zusammengesetzt sind, die wir als kohärent
darzustellen versuchen, aber sie sind überhaupt nicht kohärent.
Darum ist die Dialogarbeit zwischen den verschiedenen Teilen
sehr wichtig. Viele haben Schwierigkeiten, das anzuerkennen.
Sie wollen, dass immer alles zusammenpasst. Aber das ist ein
romantisches Menschenbild von vor hundert Jahren. Heute wissen
wir, das kann es gar nicht geben." Dan Bar-On war
bis 2007 Professor für Psychologie an der Ben-Gurion-Universität
in Beer Sheva. Für sein Engagement für Frieden und
Verständigung wurde ihm unter anderem 2001 das Bundesverdienstkreuz
und 2003 der Erich-Maria-Remarque-Friedenspreis verliehen. Dan
Bar-On starb am 4. September 2008 in Tel Aviv.
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DAN
BAR-ON was born in 1938 in Haifa
to parents of German descent. He was a member of Kibbutz
Revivim for 25 years where he served as a farmer, educator
and Secretary of the Kibbutz. After completing his M.A. in psychology
in 1975, he worked in the Kibbutz Clinic, specializing
in therapy and research with families of Holocaust survivors.
In 1981 he received his Ph.D. at the
Hebrew University of Jerusalem. In 1985 he launched a
pioneering field research in Germany, studying
the psychological and moral after-effects of the Holocaust on
the children of the perpetrators. His
book Legacy of Silence: Encounters with Children of the Third
Reich was published in 1989 by Harvard University Press
and has since been translated and published in French, German,
Japanese and Hebrew. Since then, Bar-On
has brought together descendants of survivors and perpetrators
for five intensive encounters (the TRT group, shown by
the BBC on TimeWatch, October, 1993), as
well as students from the third generation of both sides. His
book Fear and Hope: Three Generations of Holocaust Survivors'
Families was published
in Hebrew, English, German and Chinese .His
last book The Indescribable and the Undiscussable was
published in 1999 by Central European University Press. In 1998
and in 2002-3, Bar-On was the Ida E. King Chair for Holocaust
and Genocide Studies at Stockton College of New Jersey. He
is currently a Professor of Psychology at the Department of
Behavioral Sciences at Ben-Gurion University, where he
served as Chair of the Department in 1993-1995 and again in
2003-5. He is the co-director of PRIME
(Peace Research Institute in the Middle East) near Beit Jala,
PNA, together with Professor Sami Adwan of Bethlehem University.
He is married, has four children and four grandchildren.
Research Interests:
The after effects of the Holocaust among three generations of
families of Jewish victims and among families of Nazi perpetrators:
What has been transmitted and what has been worked through?
The "Others" within us:
The reconstruction of the Israeli collective
identity within three generations: From the Monolithic through
the disintegration to dialogical collective identity.
Israelis and Palestinians reconstruct
their historical narratives during the transition from violent
conflict to peace building. ....Storytelling
and dialogue between parties in conflict situations: Learning
from the Jewish-German context and the Israeli-Palestinian context.
Studying the triangle Germans- Jews- Palestinians, with
emphasis on displacement of aggression. Studying
issues of reconciliation and peace building (bottom-up), versus
peace making (top-down). Developing a center and an MA program
for Conflict Studies and Negotiations.
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synchronicity! Daan meets Dani
After having immersed myself in the
life and work of Dani Bar-On I went to bed,
and as usually before putting out the light, read in a book,
and in these days of course in Daan's book
(both names, Dani and Daan, are derived from the name "Daniel"!)
It was the chapter 6 "searching
for a new definition"
and he tells, how after his arrival at the airport in Tel-Aviv
he is taken by a taxi-driver,
who asked him many questions and also - what he liked best
of Israel.
"I tell him that, on some level, it is like warm bath
for me.
Something in me relaxes here, a part that is not relaxed in
other places.
My non-Jewish friends have some difficulty
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tive wasn't ready to confront its own past, and so, what
could not be digested was rejected, denied.
A certain formulation in the introduction strikes me:
Bar-On concludes that research shows that we require "a new definition
of normalcy"...
Nourishment from Others
How great: the worst suffering of human beings (except for
boredom-dissatisfaction)
is making it to the headlines of "Clalit-Health-Service"
The
"low self-image"
and Listening-Disorder
Maybe, people will finally come to understand the biblical
metaphor of "Cain"...
I didn't read the entire article, because it tempts to think,
that "there might be a solution for T!"
But my task (and also my children's task, so they keep forgetting
it) is not
"to find a solution for T",
but to discover and learn our lessons with this actor...
I also found interest in another article of "Clalit"
about how healthy the milk of goats is for Body
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Song of the Day
In the pool I rehearsed the
last song of 2007
about a mother's baby smashed against the wall,
and with it another
song came up,
in which Moses compares himself to a nurse carrying a baby in
her bosom:
"Did I myself conceive
this entire people,
or did I myself give-birth to it,
that you should say to me,
Carry it in your bosom
like a nursing-parent carries a suckling-child !"
Singing this song made me choke with tears.
Why? |
Continuation
of the Quartet's Presentation to my 70th birthday |
Nine images of situations with The
Quartet
In the new house of Micha's
family
at Mazkeret Batya:
A game of "Freeze", 2006
On
the way to the pool
at Arad, Pesach 2007
On the weekly Grandma-Days
at Modi'in, 2001-2004,
we always had our 4 o'clock meal
on
the Titora Hill
[see for instance "the
Quartet" 2003'
and mainly "Yael's
365 days of her 7th year, IV"]
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Making
peace - In the pool of Arad, August 2007
In
my garden at Arad, Pesach 2007
During
"the Camp of the Angels
at the Sea of Salt" , June 2006
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With
Itamar's telescope, in the desert, April 2007,
Singing
the Quartet-hymn, Arad, August 2007
In a deserted Supermarket cart,
in the fish-Park of Modi'in, 2002
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back to past ~~~~~
forward to future
Intro
to
k.i.s.s.-l o g + all
dates
~ Library of
7 years ~ HOME
~ contact ~
SEARCH
( of Latin characters only!) my
eldest granddaughter's video-gallery
whole&full-filled,
never perfect&complete
Keep It
Simple Sweetheart
K.I.S.S.
- L O G 2
0 0 8
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