hodayot [thanksgivings] for today

8:55
My Body, my Partner, my God
I give thanks to the you for the experience with my still sick bowels.
It makes me appreciate even more, how they function so well usually.

I'm grate-full for the full realization of yesterday's intentions
concerning the hours I would spend with my family.
I'm grate-full that after 40 min. of rest and even sleep
I could clarify my intention to myself: I don't want to "make it easy" by...
but simply bear it, if there should be an embarrassment as to what to 'do' with me. And indeed, there was a moment, which could have triggered me,
when R. after a cheerful chat about the meaning of school holidays
for parents in general in contrast to her in particular,
she said to Micha: "You could join us and entertain your mother."
He said luckily: "on the contrary, I want her to entertain me,
when I now go to fix my motorbike".
I'm grate-full that the one explosion on R's part could be melted away so fast,
and that later we could watch part of a Hebrew movie ('sodot') together
and enjoy communicating about it.
And I'm grate-full for the great idea of begging R. for that elegant hand-bag
which I want for my birthday, as I said to E. and I., but now I want it from her, since she's making such pretty bags by recycling Supermarket plastic bags.
Since she deeply cares for me and since she loves herself when she creates,
there was much info to exchange, when she drove me to Lod,
without risking to enter any "personal" subject.

End of 1996, with little Arnon at Sitriya, where the family lived then

Obviously a few months later, in 1997, still in Sitriya, Micha places little Arnon on the mountain motorbike, which he drove in those years.
How strange, that I discovered these photos exactly on this day, on which I photographed my son with his present bike,
which he acquired only recently, after he had to renounce this pleasure for several years

The next two pictures were taken in my bus, on the northern beach of the Red Sea in Eilat, probably on Succot 1997.
I'm grate-full for these rare images which show much of the interior of my bus,
even my writing on the framed photo to the left (above the not visible driving wheel):
"In your hands are my times" (see my song)"
Little Arnon sits on the desk with its 10 cm deep drawers underneath, Immanuel's wooden creation above the 900 l fiberglas watertank

Between my electonic church organ (closed here) and the inbuilt cupboard for clothes and other things there was the one mobile piece of furniture: a combined bookcase+shelf, deviced be mysekf for the computer and printer I had while still in "Succah in the Desert", made by a woman carpenter to whom I said: "One day I may have to give up this bus, so let me have this one piece of carpentry, which I can take with me wherever I go." And so it happened, that this piece is placed right next to the computer on which I'm writing this in 2008. In 1997 I had no computer any longer and the shelf was used for a radio-tape and the casettes with which Arnon is playing here. Outside the window the Red Sea could be seen, if not for the covers and palm-fronds above the "veranda".

Two pregnant women, Ronnit, my daughter, with the future Itamar (born Febr. 24, 1998) and Ra'ayah, my daughter-in-love, with the future Ayelet (born Aug. 14, 1998) Both Ra'ayah and I had taken for granted, that a good friendship would develop between those two, which was the reason why Micha and Ra'ayah made the big mistake and moved to Sitriya, where Ronnit and her family began to live, after they returned from USA in 1996. My daughter has rejected my daughter-in-love.... Pain, pain, pain....

Finetuning to my Present
and to the "Lessons from the Light" by Shelley Yates

Remembering last year's intense experience around "Firing the Grid",
I searched if there was any continuation.

I couldn't find anything but fierce defamation...
until I came upon this passage.
It's not clear, if it was written last year or this year, but it doesn't matter.
For me the integrity of Shelley Yates is without question.
And more important - some of her teachings do resonate in me.

Despite the term "light", to which I react with great reservation,
because "Spirit's electric light" without "the Will's magnetic essence",
is responsible for all predicaments in creation,
the content is "Godchannel" in a nutshell :
Accept yourself! Be kind to yourself!
"The ultimate gift to the world is kindness to yourself!"

I was so pleased with one part in the last "Supernanny" episode
about a family with 3 kids who enact "pogroms" among each other,
as the mother Keren said.
In addition to what Supernanny analyzed-advised concerning the kids
(Keren: "physically they are perfectly cared for, but emotionally we are stuck")
she made Keren return to what she once liked , for instance sports.
The message was made clear ever so often during the short program:
"Only if you, the mother, love yourself and do what gives you joy,
can your relationship with your children heal."

Though I've discovered this for myself a long time ago,
I still am in need of this message: " do what gives you joy".
Looking back at this year since July 17, 2007,
my natural skill, talent, capacity, capability of expressing grate-full-ness
has grown enormously.
And I definitely do what gives me joy.
But my awareness isn't as high as I desire.
When I incessantly radiate, that I want people to love themselves,
and that gratitude, excitement and full-fill-ment
are the conditions for self-love
I'm not yet using this simple formula:
"You must do, what gives you joy".

When I arrived at Arad (train to Lahavim, 3 drivers who picked me up),
and reached the pool, I discerned this poster on an ad-board outside:
"A call from the Rabbi of Lubawitch (who died on July 6, 1994....):
"The redemption is in your hands!
Each act of kindness and good deed bring the coming of the Messiah closer!"
Really??????????

Nourishment from Others

Lessons From The Light
by Shelley Yates

In order to manifest the world we so desire
we must first choose to create from a place of love,
not react from a place of fear. ....

So in order to create from a place of love
we must first create that love vibration within ourselves.
It may take many attempts to raise our personal vibratory fields to one of love,
as we are constantly bombarded with the negative energy of
...keeping us small.
Be patient and kind with yourself as you practice.

As you begin to lift your field to the heart vibration of love
we see and feel the power to create that which we so desire.
I have been guided to share with you several key points
that have facilitated the lifting of my personal energy field.
These practices will enrich your life
and lift you to the highest vibration of love, compassion and empathy.
These points are simple to follow but take diligence as you practice.

First do random acts of kindness, the very essence of doing creates our reality.

[This has been the message of Judaism for 2000 years
and I found it printed on that poster about the Messiah coming nearer.
I can accept it as a training for other people.
For me it's difficult not to become cynical.
Since my acts of kindness have triggered so many people
and in the closest of them have brought out the worst in them...
Of course I won't prevent myself from "doing acts of kindness",
since this is my essence,
but I cannot preach such "simplicity"...]

Secondly find your earthly joy
then experience that joy with child like abandon.
Once you find that joy and live it fully alive
be thankful and full of gratitude
for the wonderful human experience
you have just been blessed to have.

The third simple truth that facilitates lifting the human vibratory field
is to surround yourself with the tonal vibrations of love.
That is listen to music that resonates at the vibration you are seeking.
Playing music that has the tonal resonance of joy
acts to set the bar for where you intend your personal vibrational field to ascend. Like attracts like and when you play uplifting music
it literally calls to your soul to ascend to that level.

Once we attain the level of vibration that brings us joy
we can maintain that vibration with three rules for living.
The first is to do no harm, firstly to yourself, as you are a most important person, a piece of Divine Creation, a Creator within yourself
deserving of great love and earthly pleasure.

[This rule is banale in my eyes!]

Second, do all that you do with the utmost honesty and integrity.
It will facilitate deeper more meaningful relationships
with more open communication.

[This rule is not only banale, it is only partly true:
utmost honesty and integrity are formidable triggers for people
and not at all facilitating more open communication.]


Thirdly find that joy
which you used to create the vibrations of love
and continue to do the things
that bring you personal pleasure.
There are no rules as to what that pleasure should be
as long as it follows the first two ideas.
Then with all you have -
experience the earthly gifts of this plane and enjoy your greatest pleasure
always remembering to say thank you for the gifts of these experiences.
We must be kind to ourselves as we journey inward.
You are creating the person and the world you most desire.
The ultimate gift to the world is kindness to yourself.
Once you remember who you are, a Divine Being of the Universal Light of Grace then you can no longer see others the same
for they too are a Divine piece of the same source.
This acknowledgement of your worth will manifest as love for all others.
This is the starting point to understanding
that as we each take care of the "I am"
we will build the "we can"
that we require to create our new earth
and that is the earth of abundance and plenty for all.

"Nothing is too small for me, and I still love it,
and paint it on gold and huge
and lift it high up, and I don't know whom
will it untie and loosen the soul "
(Rilke, quoted as motto of K.i.s.s.-Log)

I'm again proud, that I managed to solve a technical problem without calling Ofir, my landlord.

I was reminded of the long session with Arnon yesterday,
when he wanted to show me his new "olar" - a complex system of knives.
I truly enjoyed it,- in fact, I had a simpler version of it myself
and don't know, to whom I gave it after "Nebo-let-Go".
The problem was with the two drawers which simply wouldn't fit any longer,
after I had taken the one with the kids' stuff and toys out for Mika on that Shabbat.
Even the incasement of the two boxes wobbled.
When I began to settle in this furnished flat,
there was the most ugly furniture I had seen in my life,
my landlord freed me from the horrid bed and left me with the mattrass,
but these two incasements with two drawers in each of them,
had to find a place.
Since there was more wood than space to store in ,
I squeezed the unwieldy pieces, one above the other, between toilet and wall next to the door,
in a way, that also a corner for dirty laundry would be created,
and used the 4 drawers as best as I could.

Now I pulled myself together and dismantled everything
and checked and checked and checked,
until I finally discovered a screw which was a little loose.
'It can't be, that these 2 mm are causing all this upheaval."
But I found a philips screwdriver , fixed the screw, and all was well.
So now I put everything in place, better than before,
enjoyed first the silken shawl with its pretty colors and patterns,
which I had taken with me from my sister's closet after her death in Nov. 2004.
To make the silk hold on to the black wood, I put a towel underneath.
On this double 'table-cloth' I placed the model of Noah's ark, which always causes pain.
Not only that the model stayed a model and was never realized,
but the model itself got very damaged, when a storm blew it away.
- from its place of honor in front of Noah's Cave.
The coat of another model, that of a pyramidal tent, guards the ark...
In front of it - Arnon's boat which he made while he learnt ceramics.
It must have been the time, when he was so involved in my dream
of Noah's Shore, the peace-healing-project on the peninsula.
Later I used it as a chanuka-candlestick, but didn't burn the candles to the ground.
I stuck some strange houses of sea-creatures on them, too.
Together with the mobile mirror and the candlestick to the right
the composition is rather kitschy,
as is the composition of drie flowers on the water container of the toilet.
But it's the toilet after all....and the people, who gave me the flowers, like Hathra, are dear to me