I focus my experiencing and awareness on being
"a pioneer of Evolution
in learning to feel":
I let my Body vibrate and my Heart 'womb'
pain, shame, fear, boredom, powerlessness,
so feelings can >heal >guide>fulfill>evolve,
and ~~~ offer ~~~"goldmines"~~~ to us all!!
"I
want you to feel everything, every little thing!"
K.I.S.S. -
L O G 2
0 0 8
Keep It Simple Sweetheart
Know exactly what you want, communicate clearly what you want,
then get out of the way, live and play, and let happen what
may! 8:35 I desire to savor this day without
a fixed plan except for completing the last 6 kisslog pages.
I desire to focus on the short-time - but not-to-be-denied -
'unpleasant' feelings and sensations which are connected to
'transistions' - from computer to going out towards the pool,
from outside the pool to plunging into the water, from dressing
and walking up&down home.
I desire that father&son,
stepmother&stepson, stepsister&stepbrother will melt
into one family,
and play a drama together in which each one will grow through
excitement & challenge & joy. At 10:30
I. reported to me about the first 3 days & nights. Except
for E's panic, it was alright. But I cannot "sculpt"
this here.
9:00
My Body, my Partner,
my God
I give thanks to your automatic mechanisms of yawning
and stretching - something we share with animals.
Nobody seems to know for sure the
functions of yawning&stretching
for me they are obvious: we thus vibrate ourselves, our feeling
& thinking by breathing stronger and moving many of our
muscles and joints.
I give thanks to all these healthy vibrant muscles and joints.
I'm grate-full for the relative completion
of the Nebo-Let-Go pages
and the few sculptures which "happened" on the way.
I'm grate-full for the 'synchronicity' I discovered just now,
when - by chance - juxtaposing 'Peretz' and 'Peres', even
if it's just a game
I'm grate-full for a tiny feat in my struggling with technical
things:
Lior had showed me, how I can easily send&receive an SMS
to 'Eged',
and trying it, while still in bed, I sent a fast answer to
Micha:
about the time and the best place, where he can pick me up
tomorrow!
I'm grate-full for each detail of my holy 20 min. routine
of an Arad morning,
including the going out into my garden for combing my hair,
followed by bending my back to prune a few dead stalks and
leaves
with the hair brush squeezed between my lips to have my hands
free.
I listen to the news while preparing
my porridge - just for 10 minutes, then I close, with a scream!
the TV opened on Channel 2, since last night I , with all Israel,
had awaited the info so cruelly withhold by the Hizbolloah:
Would the 2 Israeli prisoners
supposed to be swapped for 199 of their deads + one terrorist
alive
be living humans or corpses?
I couldn't bear the news, thinking of the families,
thinking of the defeat for Israel's "no succumbing to hostages
extorsion",
and most of all of the preparations for the hysterical celebrations
of dancing and screaming
in Gaza and Lebanon.
So I switched to 3SAT, just to hear a repetition of yesterday's
short doc about the horrid new law in Italy.
I still tremble , I cry - not only about these occurrences
but about the fact, that in this enlightened time-period not
one official person explains,
what is behind these horrendous actions ("often
a Roma family has to be escorted out of town by the police,
while their former neighbors dance with joy..."I sob,
a very old man said:
"already at the age of 4 my parents
warned me,
that the gypsies would kidnap me.
In all my life I've never seen that a child was stolen by the
gypsies.
So how do these legends go on and on?"
When will they understand,
that there is one common reason for all this : "Cain!"
,
i.e. every human's missing self-acceptance and self-esteem,
which dictates: "Only if somebody else is less
worthy than I am,
or worse:
only if I can make somebody else feel humiliated or killed by
me,
can I feel - for a moment - that I am worthy!"
New Law
in Italy: 180000 Romas in Italy - who live in 700 camps
with no identity cards, no permits for work and schools,
though born in Italy -
all of them, even little kids , suspect to steal ...little
kids,
will be forced to deliver their finger-prints.
Many people demonstrate solidarity... Italy's hard hand.
How Sinti&Roma become stigmatized. Video
2008 Israel-Hezbollah Prisoner Swap Images: An Israeli soldier
opens the gate of the Rosh Hanikra border crossing between
Israel and Lebanon, to receive the corpses of Goldwasser and
Regev.
From
Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (discovered at 11:50
AM!) On Wednesday July 16 2008, Hezbollah
transferred the coffins of Captured Israeli Soldiers.,
Ehud Goldwasser and Eldad Regev, in exchange for notorious
Lebanese terrorist, Samir Kuntar and 3 other Hezbollah
terrorists captured by Israel during the 2006 Lebanon
War.. The Prime Minister of Israel Ehud Olmert stated
that Israel has agreed to swap five prisoners with Hezbollah
to provide the bodies of two Israeli soldiers captured
in 2006. The exchange deal was carried out in accordance
with the Red Cross and UN observers. News of the
soldiers' deaths were met with celebration across Lebanon,
while in Gaza City the Palestinians celebrated by handing
out sweets.
From
Jerusalem Post July 16, 2008, discovered at 11:56 AM
and changed already a minute later The IDF on Wednesday morning received
two bodies transferred by Hizbullah, presumed to be those
of MIAs Eldad Regev and Ehud Goldwasser, whose capture
sparked the Second Lebanon War just over two years ago.
....Benayahu said that Israel does not trust the UN's
identification and will conduct its own examination. "We
trust only ourselves. [The process of identification]
might take several hours,".
A truck carrying 19 bodies
of terrorists passed the Rosh Hanikra border crossing
into Lebanon, the first of many such trucks expected
on Wednesday.
While working on the sculpture
below, I sensed my chin trembling more and more,
when I imagined, what the dancing in Lebanon and Gaza would
do to Israeli Jews.
The hatred and contempt - not to mentioned the triggering Jewish
traumas from the past -
will wipe out the faint attempts ordinary people are making
to "come to terms" with "the Arabs".
Of course, we, Israel, have brought this on ourselves
by never even beginning to even see the
real issue:
our interest to convert the negative dependency into a positive
dependency, i.e. a partnership,
based on the three conditions : Common Interest, Mutual Trust,
Equality of Self-Esteem,
leave alone making the realization of these conditions
the one and overall goal of Israel's policy and politics.
But right in this moment I'm simple devastated by the ravage
of "Cain":
those "Arabs" in general, and the Palestinians in
particular
have been feeling the humiliation of "Cain" for a
hundred years now.
I can't blame them for their childish exhibition of their "triumph".
But what will it do to Israel - the people and the government
-
when their grief and their doubts about having succumbed to
this deal in the first place
will be trampled over with such ceremonies and celebrations?
After all - the State of Israel is not lacking in Jewish "Cains"!
If Italians can dance in the streets, because a Roma family
has been "removed" from their neighborhood,
what can we expect from those ethnic groups in Israel,
which felt and objectly w e r e humiliated by the "elite
groups" of Israel?
Oh, God, oh Mother, I'm crying
my heart out!
Will this never end?
And will there not be one person at my side who sees what I
see,
and work for healing as I work for healing?
healing myself into wholeness
and by extension all those millions of Cains and those millions
of Abels
and - a third color of the One Rainbow-
all those millions of "enlightened" people who judge
their fellows on one or both sides?
Nourishment from Others
Little Chris-Rui Knie bowing with
Mum&Dad
in front of an"artistically" lying elefant
There was this little chap, born
July 22, 2006,
i.e. even 7 months younger than Mika,
and at the time, when this doc was created,
could not even speak yet!
Not only the way he integrated
into the elefant performance of The
Knie Dynasty
but also the fact, that his mother is Chinese,
the artist Linna Knie-Sun,
made me feel exhilarated dispite my nausea,
as always when I see how - in this time period,
people from different backgrounds - mix
and become one!
What
enchanted me,
can only be imagined,
when watching these 2 images:
while the circus staff
was busy with rehearsing,
the little chap came in
and was taken up by the trunk of one of the elefants,
just like these carrots,
and carried around the manege. It was breath-taking!
The first is connected to this life: One of the few happy times in my childhood
occurred,
when I was invited to the family of my schoolmate Ursel
Merz (today Hobson),
who once rescued me from the constant humiliations of my "friend"
Beatrix Grabert.
In that hour - after a lesson in handiwork - she officially
proposed to become my friend,
and that we should celebrate this day - the 13th of March 1951
- for 20 years.
The strong bond lasted until 1956, then it became looser,
but I still visited her in England, where she was married and
widowed, with my daughter,
after the
International Workshop of Reevaluation Counseling in August
1978.
Once during a visit in her home, which was far outside Stuttgart
and to be reached only by a train in addition to the usual trams,
I was invited to join the four Merz daughters
when they went to a performance of the famous Grock
Circus
The only thing I remember is nothing of what I saw on the manege,
but an incident and the feelings which followed it:
Ursel was the eldest and responsible for her 3 sisters.
So when Liesel, the youngest, needed to pee, someone had to
go with her to the toilet.
I knew, that I, too, could or should have taken up this task,
and usually I would .
But in this case it meant to miss part of the exciting show,
something so rare in my life then.
So I made myself "not available" and Ursel left with
Liesel without complaint.
But my feelings of guilt did not leave me as fast as the two
returned.
And the fact is, that this is what I remember, not the laughter
about the clown Grock!
The second memory is connected to a regression
into a former life: It was in Eilat in the Dolphinarium, perhaps
12 years ago,
where the teacher instructed us: "Return to a time when..." I don't remember, what kind of life we
were supposed to relive, but I clearly saw this:
I was picked up by a troupe of acrobats who camped outside a
medieval town.
I was a child of undefinable age, dressed elegantly like an
aristocrat,
but nobody ever understood, where I came from and how I came
to that place.
Soon I took part in the performances of the troupe in town.
Those were miserable times and such a performance was often
the only way
which cheered people up a bit and let them forget their misery
for an hour.
And to make them forget their misery,was my declared goal then!
One day, when I was already 19 or 20 years old, the bishop of
the town called me: "I want you to do more for these
poor people than you do now:
You'll be like my adopted son, but your task is to sit in the
gate
and receive the people who need advice, guidance and comfort." And this is what I did for some years.
Then, at the age of 22, the bishop arranged a marriage for me.
I don't know what happened then,
since the teacher interrupted us and gave us a new instruction:
"Now move forward in that life until close before your
death.
Do not see death itself."
What I saw was a small river not far from that town,
and on the river a small boat, in which I sat,
while saying farewell to all the people who had gathered along
the shore.
I didn't know where I was supposed to row,
nor did I have any premonition of death.
But I knew, that I needed to part.
I had come from nowhere and I would now go to nowhere.
My assignment was temporary: to light a tiny light of comfort.
What for?
As a sign for "Heaven-on-Earth" 800-900 years in the
future?
Ursel's confirmation 1952,
I am standing next to her to the right,
while mother - so motherly to me - stands to her left.
In front two of the sisters: Liesel and Trudel.
22:17 For
the last 6 hours I've been feeling terrible nausea.
If I only could vomit!...
I can no longer work, but neither can I lie down and watch TV.
Please, my Body, at least tell me, what's the matter with me!
song of the day[but
see the change in the last stanza created on July 26]
Yet
another pretty childrens' song
about Body's oneness and twosome.
The end, modified by me,
implies the main message of "Godchannel"...
||:
Nose, nose, nose, nose- mouth, mouth, mouth
which gorges, eats much
a pair of eyes, two ears
what more do I have which are two?:||
Two hands, nostrils,
two shoulders, elbows,
a pair of knees, two legs,
right and left - thus we march.
One nose, one mouth,
one head, one body,
and also a bottom, one or two?
an additional pair of cheeks!
Only the forehead is lonesome,
but also the heart is one,
they hug each other together,
nobody is alone.
The
original version ends with gladness about being weaned
from diapers, which is a long-neglected theme for a
song. But since Mika is now weaned, and my mother, who
needed diapers, dead, I changed this part
||:
Nose, nose, nose, nose- mouth, mouth, mouth
which gorges, eats much
a pair of eyes, two ears
what more do I have which are two?:||
Two hands, nostrils,
two shoulders, elbows,
a pair of knees, two legs,
right and left - thus we march.
One nose, one mouth,
one head, one body,
and also a bottom without diaper,
one-two, what a confusion!
Bravo, bravo, excellent!
without diaper it's prettier,
magnificent, how wonderful,
without diaper, without a problem.
Since
I've space left on today's page, I follow Arnon's Tour to Petra
a bit further, virtually:
Petra: first images on May 31:
Arnon's visit on mount Nebo,
Continuation On June 1: comparison
of sandstones at Petra
Some images on June 9 and
on June 12
As to more
of the experiences&images of Arnon's jeep-tour to Jordan,
- see tomorrow
