I focus my experiencing and awareness on being
"a pioneer of Evolution in
learning to feel":
I let my Body vibrate and my Heart 'womb'
pain, shame, fear, boredom, powerlessness,
so feelings can >heal >guide>fulfill>evolve,
and ~~~ offer ~~~"goldmines"~~~ to us all!! "I
want you to feel everything, every little thing!"
K.I.S.S. -
L O G 2
0 0 8
Keep It Simple Sweetheart
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
"AZ
NIDBERU"
- My
new Midrash and song
in 5 languages
about the prophecy of Malachi
3, 16
["YHWH" is named "HA-SHEM"= The
Name]
Then those who see Ha-Shem, will talk
among each other,
and he listens and he
hears
yatakaalamuna allathina
yarau'na-hu ,
va-yusri va-yasma'
Dann die IHN schauen, werden reden miteinander,
und er lauscht und er
hoert
Puis ceux qu'ils voient Ha-Shem, se parlent
l'un a l'autre
il entends,
il ecoute
It seems that I chose 26 actors
for my life's drama and those 26 actors chose me! One
common trait of all roles is "mutual dependency"
between them and me.
With 16 actors - my family - the mutual
dependency is life-long! With my landlords
at Arad & with my 6 starchildren, born
between 1986-88, it may be temporary. My children: Immanuel, Ronnit, Micha; my
children-in-love: Efrat, Uri, Ra'ayah; my 10 grandchildren [born
1987-2005): Elah-Alon-Tomer-Mika; Jonathan-Rotem-Yael-Itamar;
Arnon-Ayelet
My landlords: Ofir & Meital+ Lior (2002) & Amit (2007).
My starchildren: Lior Oren, Zipi Winkler , Dina Strat , Meshi
Taib, Gal Mor, Boris Arons [26=YHWH=13+13=ahavah+ahavah =LOVE!]
18:00 My Body, my Partner,
thank you for our knees, their bones and joints and muscles,
and thank you for making me aware of them,
when today, after the pool, the left knee didn't function
as usual.
It's a long time, that I hadn't been aware of our knees,
and today - probably because of the sudden harsh cold - they
said: Hallo! (in my room at Arad the temperature is
- even after hours of heating -
only 16 degrees and - on 2013-01-11 in the morning only 10
degrees...) But that was not the end of it! Maybe, because I accepted the pain grate-fully,
cheer-fully,
"somebody" arranged the remedy right away,
see below!
Thank you again, Efrat,
my daughter-in-love,
for our wonderful together-apart-ness!
It's more than a year now, that we live this apart-together-ness,
and except for one short crisis (in June last year)
there has always been perfect harmony, love and gratitude
between us.
This time I was with you only for 3 evenings, nights and mornings,
but how rich was this time,
also Mika
- who has lived already 750 days on this planet -,
and has grown with you and you
have grown with her -
makes both our lives richer and richer.
I forgot the cables at Shoham, the cables which
connect between both, the cellphone-camera and the Cassio-camera,
and the computer.
It will take until next Thursday, until I'll return to Shoham, to
download, choose, edit and insert today's photos..
It will be interesting to fit today's stories to images, which I can
only imagine in my memory.
[On January 20, again at Shoham, I inserted
the real photos]
Saying Good bye to Mika (my backpack to
the left, since I too shall leave soon)
Our ritual while waiting for the elevator
Since it was Friday I was all alone in the
minibus of the bus-company "Superbus",
from Shoham to the train-station at Ben-Gurion Airport.
While studying the Seth-Clippings (see next Monday),
I'm suddenly stirred up by a song from the driver's radio.
It reminded me of a tune, but I couldn't remember it.
The melody was moving me so strongly,
that I overcame my shyness, advanced to the driver and asked him about
the song.
He, a Russian immigrant, was glad, even proud - to inform me: "I don't know the name of the song, but
the singer is called Valeria,
she is excellent, she is Jewish, but sings all over the world,
Her parents live in Israel, and she has often performed here."
When
we reached the airport, I dared to ask his name. "Hananiel!"
"What a beautiful, beautiful name!
Were you called like that in Russia?"
"Yes",he said proudly,
and I told him my name too.
This was another compensation for the trouble I had given him
2 months ago,
when I missed his bus because of a misunderstanding.
I'm glad.
At the entrance to the Airport Area:
the guard checks if no bomb is found in Hananiel's vehicle,
"The performer, who is the mother of 3
children, agreed to represent Russia in activity of the fund
with pleasure. .Valeria will realize charitable programs, help
to HIV-infected children in particular. Commenting the charitable
activity of Valeria, her husband and producer Iosif Prigozhin
declared: "We planned for a long time to devote ourselves
to charity after solution of personal family issues. We think
that every Russian citizen, who managed to find personality,
must contribute to such work".
But realizing the courage of both, Valeria and
her husband, in confessing publicly,
how they played the Perpetrator-Victim
Game, and got out of it,
I admire them both!
* * * * *
Since no other passengers ascended
or descended,
we reached the airport after 23 minutes,
and I had another 23 minutes for the train to arrive.
Animated by my photos of train- and bus-station in Beersheva
on January 2,
I paid attention
to the beauty of the structures of the airport.
I thought
how once the need for temples and palaces gave artists a chance
to create,
the modern temples are
airports and malls and train-stations.
A bust of David Ben-Gurion in
the hall
The trains leave from a level,
which is two floors below the level of the busses,
and while sliding down the moving staircases,
I watched, I enjoyed, I savored.
In between the majestic pillars
of the main hall
I saw huge letters of huge words of some ad-slogan,
one had the word "neshamah" in it.
"neshamah" (soul,
connected to "neshimah"-breath)
arouses associations (see, for instance,the
song of the last psalm, psalm 150),
which don't seem to suit advertisements.
And sure enough,
when I connected my cell-phone player,
to rehearse some songs,
and came to Tomer's "Shma-Yisrael", which I didn't delete, even after
I knew it well,
I found "neshamah" in two lines: "ha-ke'ev olaeh mi-tokh ha-neshama"
- the pain rises from the soul, "ukhshae-ha-lev shoteq, ha-neshamah
zo'eqet"
- and when the heart falls silent,
the soul screams.
Another
ad, which arouses associations,
while passing through the gigantic airport hall (one of many
halls),
through the corridors to the train-station,
I see this sign - to a parking lot!
It's called in Hebrew, English and Arabic:
Pardes - Orchard - Bayaara.
Everyone who has a slight knowledge in Jewish mystics,
knows the meaning of "Pardes"....
I remembered my feelings,
when I arrived at the harbor of Haifa, on Sept. 12, 1960,
towards my scholarship year in Jerusalem.
As a student of Protestant Theology I had "learnt"
biblical Hebrew.
To see the Hebrew biblical letters "contaminated"
in advertisements
(though so modest compared to today's ads!),
was both a shock and a joy.
A shock, because even then I hated the entire concept of advertising.
A joy, because this was a proof, that the Jewish people had
become normal!
Today - from the bus-station in Arad to the pool -
I rehearsed that
deeply moving Yiddish song, which admonishes little kids in the "Golus"(a pain-loaden term for "Jewish
Exile") to learn the Aleph-Beit, because"there
are so many tears in these letters, so much crying,
and it's from these letters
that you will draw strength to carry the Golus"
Entering
the
train-station
Waiting for the train to the south,
through Lod,
Kiryat Gat,
Lehavim, to Beersheva,
enjoying the waving shades
of the palm-trees
on the wall
At Lehavim-Rahat I got off the train.
Rahat is a big Bedouin town on the other side of the road to Beersheva,
opposite the much smaller town of Lehavim.
The municipality of Lehavim so far refused to write the names of both
towns on "their" new station.
"Forbidden to photograph",
screams the guard
at the entrance to the new train-station Lehavim-Rahat
Recently I needed
to be at Shoham early Sunday morning.
No public transport from Friday noon till the exit of Shabbat!
After the exit of Shabbat
there is only one train going north from Beersheva,
but the first bus from Arad reaches Beersheva too late for the
train...
So I entered the one bus Arad- Tel-Aviv
and got off at the only possible station: Lehavim town.
From there I walked 20 minutes through a dark scary area,
chaotic because under construction of the towns' extension till
the station.
It was an opportunity to photograph the signs (though
not well seen here)
which say "Lehavim", without mentioning "Rahat".
I heard, that the Rahat people boycott the train...
What a pathetic, shameful story about Israel....
[2013-01-11-Jamaal,
a man from Rahat, with whom I hitchhiked to the Dead Sea years ago
and- as he, not me, remembered - even brought him into
my Cave, suddenly visited me.
He said, that not only has the name of the train-station become "Lehavim-Rahat"
years ago,
but since the conflicts over land are over, the relationship between
the Jewish small town and the Bedouin big town is pleasing!]
Ever since they opened this train-station 30
km north of Beersheva,
I get off here, walk till Lehavim and from there walk on the road,
until a car takes me.
As it was Friday, several people, mostly soldiers, descended together
with me,
which meant, that their families would fetch them from the station,
and I would be taken.
And indeed, I even didn't have to lift my hand, a middle-aged man
in uniform opened his car.
Beyond Lehavim I had to walk for at least 20 minutes, until a car
stopped
I didn't mind it - the air was crisp, the sky a splended blue, and
"my" desert was everywhere.
I forgot to take photos, but I I didn't forget the stories.
The driver, with a little son behind, had a kippa
on his head
and talked on the phone incessantly, about cars!
Having rehearsed the
song about Eliezer ben Yehuda over and over even today,
I could not help imagining, what ben Yehuda would feel, if he would
listen to the man's language.
It was Hebrew, alright, but mixed with either modern technical words,
including the term "On-line",
or slang of the worst kind, - [the Hebrew slang originates mostly
in distorted Arab words.]
Still it was Hebrew, and Eliezer ben Yehuda would have been content
and proud!
The second car's driver drove right to Arad,
his home-town. "Are you an old-timer?"I
responded to his question if I lived there.
I never initiate a conversation with a driver,
but always show myself responsive, if a driver wants to talk. "Since 1972!"he
laughed (the town was founded in 1963).
Then - silence, until he increased the volume of the radio:
the news!
Now I do my best to never listen to news of, in or about Israel.
But today I had no choice.
"19 people killed in road-accidents since the beginning
of the year!"
I remembered
a painful scene with Josef Shoham at Ramat-Hadar,
soon after the 1967 war.
Shoshana Shoham was from England, a convert to Judaism like
me.
Later we became very good friends.
Sarah, her second child, was the same age as my daughter.
At that time I still believed in taking the initiative
of making friends and neighbors...
So my husband and I went to visit them.
Only to realize, that they were "politically" "on
the other side". "But if we don't do the right thing(which I explained), many more Jews will get killed." It was then, that Josef, the holocaust-surviver,
said the appalling thing: "If they won't get killed in war,
they'll get killed in road-accidents,
what does it matter?" Later he hanged himself in front of
his 5 children and Shoshana barely saved him.
Much more painful, also for me, was the suicide of her soldier-son
in the eighties.
There was another item in the news: "In Egypt people demand the Israeli Ambassador to
leave their country.
After the discovery of skeletons of Egyptian soldiers,
executed by Israelis in the 1967 war,
the entire nation is in uproar." After a while I dared to ask my driver: "Have you heard about this before? Is it
true?" He answered with a shrug and no concern whatsoever. "Some claim it's true, others deny, nobody
knows for sure."
I observed my mood going down the drain.
Do I still let myself be influenced by such "news"?
It happened 41 years ago, didn't it?
And the Egyptians have executed people always and everywhere
How is this different from the atrocities in present time, all over
the planet?
But I couldn't help it.
I remembered how in the first years after my immigration in 1964
I could not be happy for days, if somebody was killed in a terror-act.
It happened "only" about three times a year - then....
"If you still identify so much, what did you tell Tamar?"
I asked myself.
Eight days ago, - while walking side by side on that darkening road above the Dead Sea
-
I had asked Tamar, who is not yet 16 years old
if she knew, what would make her feel full-filled in her life.
She hesitantly shared, that all her happiness (in my words)
was dependent on the happiness of the people around her,
and that - therefore - she needed to help people be happy.
This sounded all too familiar to me,
and I dared to show her the danger of this attitude:
"If your mother, brother or friend will
realize,
that your are unhappy because they are unhappy,
what will they feel?
Will they not be burdened
by having made you unhappy,
and their own unhappiness
will become even more severe?
When I taught your parents "Co-counseling",
I always said:
"When you, with all your heart,
listen to a person in distress,
let your face show,
that you believe in this person's strength!
Let your face reflect,
what the distressed person cannot see,
that she is not as powerless, victimized as she feels,
and the very proof is,
that she lets herself be supported by you!"
The driver had changed the channel and turned
down the volume.
Suddenly - we had almost arrived - my ears again discerned a song,
not the Russian Valeria this time, but a very popular Christian hymn,
a "Choral", embedded in a music of Bach: "Nun danket
alle Gott!"
With this song, which I'll now insert in the 2007 Song-game , I got
off that car.
Martin
Rinkart, ca 1636
Nun danket alle Gott mit Herzen, Mund und Händen,
der große Dinge tut an uns und allen Enden,
der uns von Mutterleib und Kindesbeinen an
unendlich viel zugut und noch jetzund getan.
Der ewigreiche Gott woll
uns bei unserm Leben
ein immer fröhlich Herz und edlen Frieden geben
und uns in seiner Gnad erhalten fort und fort
und uns aus aller Not erlösen hier und dort.
Lob, Ehr und Preis sei
Gott, dem Vater und dem Sohne
und dem, der beiden gleich im höchsten Himmelsthrone:
dem dreimaleinen Gott, als der ursprünglich war
und ist und bleiben wird jetzund und immerdar.
Now thank we all our God, with heart and hands and voices,
Who wondrous things has done, in Whom this world rejoices;
Who from our mothers’ arms has blessed us on our way
With countless gifts of love, and still is ours today.
O may this bounteous God
through all our life be near us,
With ever joyful hearts and blessèd peace to cheer us;
And keep us in His grace, and guide us when perplexed;
And free us from all ills, in this world and the next!
All praise and thanks to
God the Father now be given;
The Son and Him Who reigns with Them in highest Heaven;
The one eternal God, whom earth and Heaven adore;
For thus it was, is now, and shall be evermore.
Martin Rinckart , ca 1636
Martin
Rinkart, a Lutheran minister, was in Eilenburg, Saxony, during
the Thirty Years’ War.
[I've just remembered
the Thirty Years' war in connection with Schiller's Drama Wallenstein] The walled city of Eilenburg saw a
steady stream of refugees pour through its gates.
The Swedish army surrounded the city, and famine and plague
were rampant.
Eight hundred homes were destroyed, and the people began to
perish.
There was a tremendous strain on the pastors who had to conduct
dozens of funerals daily.
Finally, the pastors, too, succumbed,
and Rinkart was the only one left—doing 50 funerals a
day.
When the Swedes demanded a huge ransom,
Rinkart left the safety of the walls to plead for mercy.
The Swedish commander, impressed by his faith and courage, lowered
his demands.
Soon afterward, the Thirty Years’ War ended,
and Rinkart wrote this hymn for a grand celebration service.
Johann Crueger 1598-1662
The last thing I did before going to sleep, was to
find a tune to the hymn and sing to it.
It took me 5-6 attempts to record my singing to the midi-score I had
discovered.
One reason was, that I didn't like the modernized language in the
site above,
I needed to return to the lyrics which are imprinted in my mind-heart
since childhood.
Another "reason" may have been, that I avoided singing the
third "too Christian" stanza.
Finally my inner voice said: "Why do you make a fuzz about the
Christian "Father&Son"!
It doesn't contaminate you to sing old metaphors of the ONE.
And after all, the last two lines are not so far from what
you know to be more exact!"
But I haven't finished telling about today's
encounters.
Before returning to my holy lonesomeness with no forseeable encounters
at all,
I want to fine-tune to every interaction of today.
After I had parted from my driver, I walked into the mall of Arad,
- a place which I loathe, like any mall -
since the woman in the big shop for electric devices had called me: "your radio-tape is ready to be taken".
In October 2006 - says the paper of guarantee
- I had bought a cheep radio-tape,
not for the radio, but to be able to listen to those old casettes,
which are of historic value, like my
little novel "Alt-Neu-Land 2003".
The radio-tape which I had acquired in 1998 for my
solar-powered tent at Metzoqe-Dragot
had been stolen from Noah's Cave, together with the entire solar and
gas system, [See Noah's
Shore History, and there the two lines:
"Can't you bear that I enjoy myself for one single day?"
I screamed at my Angels, or my Higher Self, or God, whatever.]
A photo of my radio-tape made by little
artist Yael
(6!) in June 2002 during a "Grandma-Day"
Then,
when I "settled" in Arad, in my "castle",
I allowed myself to buy a simple Radio-CD-Tape.
The radio I don't need and the CD devise has become obsolete,
since nowadays I listen to music on my cellphone-player only,
with ear-phones! and only when I walk or travel in bus and train.
The only necessary device - the tape - ceased to work soon.
So, as I said, in Oct. 2006 I bought an even simpler radio-tape,
and in Dec. 2007 I discovered, that this tape did not function.
I hadn't used it more than 3 times since I bought it.
Now, after a month, I wanted to take it back - repaired.
The pretty Swetlana recognized me and proudly brought the tape.
I should have remembered, that if they repaired it, I needed
to pay,
since the guarantee had expired.
But
at home I discovered nothing but a paper:
the estimate of what a repair would cost!
I hate going to town
and do it not more than once a month.
In order to not get angry beyond proportion,
I walked back to town rightaway,
without "combining" this purpose with any other.
Still - I kept asking myself:
"why is it that I am sent back?"
Should I let go of those obsolete devices,
which - in the form of "walkmans" -
had served me so well
~ through all my wanderings ~?
Or is there another purpose?
Soon I was to discover, that yes,
there was another purpose:
suddenly Boris walked beside me,
we had only 300 m together,
but I understood clearly,
that he needed to hear a message
through me,
his sounding-board
....
The next day I wrote an e-mail
to the other "star-children": Please reinforce this message! Zipi
responded writing: "I agree with you", i.e. Boris has to leave everything
and to concentrate totally
on his exams in 12 days,
not for the sake of a certificate,
but for the sake of his self-esteem.
When I re-entered the shop, Swetlana was busy
with other customers.
When she raised her head, I said with humor: "If you wouldn't have been so sweet to
me an hour ago,
I would be really angry." To my regret, she didn't take it with humor,
but became defensive.
So I tried to play it down, because the entire thing was too ridiculous,
to cause such a sweet person to feel hurt.
If I'll ever get this tape repaired, is another question,
and I'll deal with in time.
What was important, was to realize yet another purpose of this "unnecessary
chore":
the joint of my knee refixed itself - by being used continuously for
half an hour!!!
*****
Nourishment from Others
Excerpts from an e-mail
HEARTWEAVING :
HOLDING THE BALANCE AND CREATING FROM THE HEART
Archangel Michael through Celia Fenn
In
this message, we will speak about the incoming energies, …
for this Cycle of Light
that will take you up to and past your "end time"
marker of 2012.
Indeed, by then, your Planet will exist fully in the Fifth Dimension,
and those of you who read these words
will be the Pioneers and the Wayshowers
who will lift humanity into this new Perception of Reality.
… You will make mistakes as you learn and you may make
wrong choices.
Be humble enough to acknowledge this and then make new choices.
It is not an easy time,
as you learn to let go of the old mind-based ways of being
and choose to live from the Heart.
…
The New
Beginning and "HeartWeaving"
… in the old Third-dimensional
Earth
your manifestations and creations were woven from the light
of your minds.
In the New Earth you will weave from the light of your Heart,
and you will create with all the Radiance and Clarity that lives
in your Heart.
Dearest Ones,
as you become more skilled in weaving from the heart
and weaving your heart's desires into reality,
you will become a "new creation"
and you will create a "new earth".
You will see all people with love,
for in the Fifth Dimension
you see the Spirit in All Things
and you see the Oneness and Love in all things.
You will respect and honor the path of every
person you meet,
for you will once again understand the concept of "the
way".
This means
that each and every person on the Planet walks their own path
or "way",
and that this is the right "way" for them.
Every path leads to increased self-knowledge and self-understanding,
until every person reaches "home"
- the understanding that they are the Divine
Essence walking on Earth. …
The Skill of Creating :
Possibility and Probability
…
As you activate your skills as Creators in this new reality,
we ask you to understand that All Things are Possible.
Yes, as they say, if you can dream it, you can create it!
This is, indeed true!
We would call this a "Possibility Field".
Within a "Possibility Field" lies "all potential"
- all things are possible. ...
it requires only the Magnetic Force of True Desire
to begin the sequences of Creation and Manifestation.
However, Dearest Ones,
in this place of potential exists that which we call the "womb
of chaos".
For, where all possibilities exist simultaneously as pure potential,
it is indeed chaotic.
Those who are centered in their Hearts and fully
grounded
may navigate the chaos
through the operation of Choice.
When you make a Choice within a Possibility Field,
you create a Spiral of Light called a "Probability Field",
from which you manifes taccording to the choices of your Heart.
…
A "Probability Field" produces an ordered sequence
of events
that leads to miraculous creation and manifestation.
It is the energy that produces synchronicities and opportunities.
But, even within a Probability Field, there are choices to be
made.
The Universe will offer you
many probable manifestations or outcomes,
and it is up to you to make the final choice
that will ground the Possibility
through Probability
and into Manifestation.
And so, dearest ones, as you begin to learn
how to weave from your Heart's light
and to Create within the Possibility and Probability Fields,
you will gain confidence
as you see the Spirals of Light manifesting into physical form
before your eyes.
And, as you become more skilled,
you will be able to create ever more rapidly and with more skill
and assurance.
You will select your Possibility,
activate your Probabilities,
and make your choices of Manifestation and Creation.
And, it will indeed seem miraculous,
as scarcity and lack and anxiety become vague memories from
the past.
Holding the Balance
And now, at this time,
we would speak especially of another skill of the New Earth,
that of maintaining and holding
your Inner Balance.
Dearest Ones, would you create Peace and balance on the Earth?
Then do so within yourselves!
For, the balance that you will see in the outer reality
will be a reflection of the Balance
that you will create within yourselves.
For the Outer Manifestation is always a reflection of the Inner
World,
and if you can hold your center in Love and Peace and Joy,
that is what you will experience as your Reality in the Fifth
Dimension.
…
Now, as you begin
your process of Heartweaving and Integration on the Planet,
… you will discover the subtle essence of Who You Are
-
the Essence of the God Force within You.
This is Spirit, Fire, Water, Air and Earth...
the nature of all Manifestation.
These are the elements that must be held in balance within you
in order to create balance
in your physical being
and on your path.
• SPIRIT :
When you are in balance with Spirit,
you will be connected to your Heart
and you will radiate Universal Love and Joy and Peace.
You will feel that "All is One"
and you will live in Harmony and Respect with all life.
You will walk your path in confidence,
following your Heart's guidance.
…
• FIRE :
When your Fire energy is in balance,
you will feel a sense of Motivation and Enthusiasm for life.
You will have energy and you will feel Joy.
You will be connected to your Passion
and your Sexual and Sensual energies.
…
• WATER :
When your water elemental energy is in balance,
you will demonstrate qualities of
Nurturing, Caring, Gentleness and Sharing.
You will feel Trust and Acceptance,
you will live in Grace and Gratitude,
with Calmness and Serenity.
You will feel Unconditional Love at all times.
…
• AIR :
When you are in balance with your Air energy,
you will feel Optimistic and Hopeful and Centered.
You will be Flexible in your responses to life's challenges,
and you will accept the process of change and growth with Joy.
You will see change as a blessing,
no matter how it may appear in your life,
for you will perceive the inner blessings.
The element of Air allows for Movement, Shifts,
and cultivates Flexibility of Spirit
and Trust in the processes of Spiritual Evolution and Growth.
…
• EARTH :
When your Earth energy is in balance,
your life will be Structured and Ordered
and you will experience physical Abundance and Joy.
You will feel Secure and Safe on Earth,
and you will trust that what you need will be provided.
You will enjoy being in your Body,
and you will feel Health and Vitality.
You will honor and care for your Physical Body
with love and nurturing.
You will honor your physical environment,
and you will live with Simplicity and Grace and Beauty.
Simple things will give you pleasure.
By chance I zapped into the beginning of a short
doc, when I wanted to take a break:
Dessie in Äthiopien, ein Ort
ohne Hass
Dessie in Aethiopia, a Place without Hatred
incredible!
when searching for this doc full of hope and love,
I found it as
a video on the Internet!!!
See this woman Hadija! What a sense of humor!
About
this video:
"While there are more and more conflicts
between Christians and Muslims
in many countries,
there is one place ,
where Muslims and Christians live together peacefully.
Especially the young people represent themselves as tolerant.
November 19, 2007
