I focus my experiencing and awareness on being
"a pioneer of Evolution in
learning to feel":
I let my Body vibrate and my Heart 'womb'
pain, shame, fear, boredom, powerlessness,
so feelings can >heal >guide>fulfill>evolve,
and ~~~ offer ~~~"goldmines"~~~ to us all!!
"I
want you to feel everything, every little thing!"
See
below this Godchannel message:
This is an appendix
to the entry page of the photos of "WALK
ABOUT LOVE 2009" ~
which accompany my
graphical edition of the Godchannel files
dedicated to our Walkers:
Mowgli Berlin who left our planet on the last day of the Walk, May
30, 2009, while sleeping next to the Sea,
and Nir Rak who left our three-dimensionality 2 months later, on
August 1, 2009, while diving into the Sea
and Dido (Adi) Einee who - on August 2, 2009 - is coming back to
us slowly, after his accident on May 10.
no
date
discovered on Godchannel.com and edited on January 18, 2005
Body Pages
A Message from the Mother of Manifestation
"In the terror
and the grief
of the expanding feeling-consciousness
happening in Body for many of you now,
you will find many of the voices you have silenced,
hear the cries that caused you to stop up your ears,
and feel the pain you thought you could not bear.
It may feel overwhelming, impossible, sure to drive you insane.
You must discover for yourself that you can do this now,
in this Body,
no matter what your thoughts tell you
or what you have believed about yourself before.
No one can do this work but you.
"The gift of
a Body is the gift of sovereignty.
It is the gift of power, choice, and ultimately, absolute freedom.
And because of all of the misunderstanding, separations, and denials,
it has been abused.
To reclaim the power of Manifestation,
you must forgive yourself for being Body's victim ~ and
its abuser.
Please allow yourself to feel into this before you continue ~
in all of the ways that this resonates within you."
"As you
find and release
the primary judgmentsagainst
Body, and Form,
you will gain access to what your body is holding,
and widen the opportunity for your body to clear what
it is holding.
"As
you recognize your own parentalness there, and uncover the deeper layers of your Self; as youmove into and throughthe
rage, terror and grief
more deeply than you thought possible; you are not only
bringing Loving Light where it can heal,
you are participating in the evolution of Deity.
Working
backwards is the only way to go forward
because you cannot evolve without all of your Self.
"And ultimately you must bring all of your Self
into your depths, your darkness;
into your 'past,' your denials;
into your gap, your Hell;
into all of the places you have not wanted to go. As you know, running from it will not work anymore,
trying to love it will not work anymore,
making someone else responsible for it will not work anymore,
and killing it certainly will not work anymore, if life is what
you seek.
You must go there your Self.
With everything that you have. This is why it is so important to heal your Spirit
in order to heal your Will.
God can help you with this, if you let him.
"This is the miracle of the gift
of a Body,
that can allow you to manifest the deep and complete Communion
that we have so longed to return to,
and this time ~ find that we are no longer alone.
"If you
continue this work, you must confront
the question of who you are.
Could you really be the One,
the most Parental aspect of Manifestation?
For some of you, this is a terrifying prospect,
for it implies that you are responsible
for healing more than you believe you are capable of healing.
For others, it will bring relief to know
that you really are the only one that can do this. Some will be enraged by this communication,
some will be confused by the paradoxes in it.
Whatever your response, it is not wrong, it is yours,
and if you allow it to,
it will lead you to your relationship to Original
Heart,
and the Original Heartbreak there.
"I will
say something that has already been said, but it bears repeating.
As you know, working with this material demands
that you take absolute responsibility for your own safety and the
safety of those around you.
This is necessary now, more than ever.
Yes, time is of the
essence, but speed is not.
It is not wrong if you find yourself slowing down
to approach the parts of you that have nearly stopped vibrating.
You must find your own balance of input to process,
and allow those around you the sovereign right to find theirs.
"You are the only one that can
know when you are ready.
You are the only one
that can feel, move and release into healing the terror
that cannot be gone past or around any more.
You are the only one that can take responsibility for triggering
and moving this terror safely.
And of course, the same applies to rage, and to grief.
"Learning to move these feelings
in your body safely
is the best way to help yourself,
and judgment release can help the movement
necessary to open your process to new and deeper levels.
The more you can work on the inside, in private,
or in mature relationship,
the less you will have to work with 'outside events'
that can carry your life in directions you don't want to go.
"But when
they happen,
take every opportunity to heal yourself in the process,
to understand
that your lost essence is trying to return to you
in the only ways it knows how.
You already know what this entails, so I will not say more now ~~~
except to add be gentle with yourselves,
and do not overlook the help that is available to you
when you talk to God or the Mother on the inside. The key to the union
of Original Spirit and Original Will in you
is
to identify with Body.
"When
you let Divine Body,
the Mother or Father of Manifestation,
peer out through your eyes,
and when you see them gaze back through the eyes of those you love,
you will begin to find the understandings that you seek.
And your movement in Body
will begin to manifest the Creation and Love
your Heart has always desired."
Appendix
to the entry page of the photos of Walk
about Love,
My wandering (nod)-
you have counted it!
Put my tear in your water-bag (nôd)
!
It ( the tear)
is in your counting, isn't it? (Psalm
56:9, my translation)
As one whom his mother comforteth,
so will I, I, comfort you (Isaiah
66:13)
Click! and click again to stop! Shortly before I heard of
"The Walk about Love"
I came across this verse in a psalm.
It touched me so much,
that I felt inspired with a tune to the words.
I added the verse from Isaiah,
which used to comfort me already when I was a child.
Now I dedicate this song
to wounded Dido (Adi ) Eynee, to dead Mowgli (Har'el Berlin)
,
to dead Nir Rak
and to Eva Sabani,
who will rise to walk with us forever
[March 12, 2011: I don't succeed in getting info about her...]
Dido - Adi Eynee
A few days after I had created this sculpture,
on Sunday, May 17,2009, Lior Oren called me from "The Walk": "You may want to know that a
week ago, on May 10, Dido has had a severe
accident with his motor-cycle."
Dido, the angel, had deeply impressed me - for instance on
that walk from Neot Kdumim to Tel Hadid on April 24,
when he was the only one, who became aware, that Talyah and her
18 months old daughter Ariel were missing.
2 days earlier, on Friday, just before he drove north to join
the Walk for the weekend,
he had called me from Rehovot:
"Please,
Rachel, I want to meet you face to face,
when you'll be at Bet Nehemya!
Note my parents' phone-number!"
I felt then , that I needed to urge him:
"It is not enough that
you join The Walk only at weekends!
You have to walk with The Walk!"
"I know! And I already gave up one job.
But I have holy work to do with those kids.
I cannot decide, what is more important,
that work or the Walk!"
He came back from the Walk on Saturday evening.
On Sunday, on the way to his work at Kiryat Gat - "it"
happened... I hadn't noted that phone-number,
but the cellphone had registered the talks on May 8.
I tried two. The second one connected me to Dido's father, who
in turn connected me to Dido's mother.
And it was by being in touch with her, that I found the right
timing for approaching the Emergency Room in Beersheva Hospital:
on Tuesday, May 19, 2009, 9 days after the accident. [See
"Impressions on my way to Dido" in "Biographical
Sculptures>Lekh Lekhâ "]
But whom did I meet at its door? Yif'at !
May
23: I was asked by Yif'at to remove the photo composition
with her and Dido "as long as Dido cannot be asked,
if he agrees"...
.
2013-11-18
See at the end of this page - Yif'at in another context
Yif'at. , with whom I had the deepest of
talks in that night before the Blessing
of the Sun on Tel Yarmut!
Yif'at , who during that night kept saying:"I'm
waiting for my friend Dido, for the Blessing of the Sun!"
click the passage at the
end of the page "God's Quest"
and listen to YIf'at. on May 2, 3 o'clock in the morning!
Now Yif'at sang to Dido, though he - after another operation the
night before - didn't seem to register it.
And I sang too..."As
one whom his mother comforteth".
There was Dido's mother Zipi, and there was me, and there was
Y.A.
And invisible - the Walkers, who had - as later I heard from Sari
- gathered to pray for Dido.
The Walkers are now tied to the ground - by one of us, who will
not be able to walk for a long time...
May
23
I had asked Dido's mother Zipi, if she thought it proper
that I would take some photos,
not of Dido as Dido,
but of the situation, of the context , of the drama of Dido
with his chosen co-actors from The Walk..
She allowed it without hesitation.
Still , today Y.A. asked me to take the pictures down,
though they did show with how much love Dido was engulfed,
enwrapped, enfolded.
I said, that I felt very disappointed, and that my intention
was not understood. "One of the great experiences
with all the Walkers with whom I had the deepest of talks
, was,
that I never once heard a sentence - so common outside The
Walk: "Don't tell this to so-and-so! Don't
talk about this with anybody!"
I believed, that something new was happening on this planet
- transparency.... "Here I am!
- everybody may see me just as I am,
I am whole with what I am,
and no exterior judgment or misunderstanding can hurt me." She said: "To
feel disappointed , means, that there is Ego!"
I: "At least give me the right
to feel what I feel without judging it!" I remember Rotem's continuous struggle
with the people,
to let him film scenes that people considered as "too
intimate"!
Once he even cried - when he felt exhausted when people
just wouldn't get it,
that "there won't be a movie,
if you want me to show only,
what is idyllic, harmonious and wonderful". I had the impression, that time and
again he won people over for his view,
that we , the Walkers-about-Love, with our concept of OPENNESS,
must show ourselves just as we are, sad and joyous, healthy
and sick.
Since another walker, from Europe, yesterday asked me to
remove not only her pictures,
but also things she had said and which I deem as extremely
valuable feedback for The Walk,
[I, for the time being, removed the link to the sculpture
about Y. from Europe...)
I feel, that I must again go back to myself and ask myself,
why I am creating such "Babylonian Re-actions"
from "my" people.
Am I again deluding myself? Was the experience with "then those who see Ha-Shem will
talk among each other, and he hears and he listens", a promise in the Bible, which I inserted
above all my K.i.s.s.-log
pages since my 70th birthday,
an illusion after all?
I may "respect" Y. from Europe, and Y.A. from
Israel and take down pictures,
but I shall not hide my feelings of disppointment and frustration,
even if their re-action should be reflecting something un-whole
in myself....
June
14, 2009 Dido was transferred to the
Rehabilitation Center at Tel-Hashomer Hospital
on June 8,
and I visited him there for 2 hours,
in the presence of his sister Yahel and his friend Efi.
I asked: "When did you return to your brain?"
and he said: "a day before I moved here."
But talking while his jaw is still enchained,
is "like walking through a camp of swords!"
What little could be said by him and understood by us, was
deeply touching.
Together with the awareness of his physical pains,
he is tortured by his consciousness.
But here I must stop.
From now on it will be Dido's decision, how visible he wants
to be
Mowgli - Har'el Berlin
Copied from my gmail - lists:
"May 22, 2009: Mowgli
Sheepmon added you as a friend on Facebook" May 30, 16:00 : Rotem Malenko,
the photographer, called me - on the background of Jam-Music
for Mowgli
at the place, where the last Festival, announced on the
schedule of the Walk about Love, had just closed.: "Mowgli
was killed
by a rock under which he was sleeping at a Natanya beach
- this night."
The family asks the Walkers to attend the funeral"...
The name in "Ynet news" is
"Har'el Berlin".
"Mowgli"
must have been chosen according to the
fictional character in Rudyard Kipling's Short Story "Ruakh"
('ruakh'
in Hebrew means "wind' and "spirit". )
As to Rudyard Kipling, the first song of mine, which I rehearsed
after the Walk ,
as I use to do on my way to ~~in ~~and~~ from the swimming-pool
in Arad,
was 4 days ago: "If
you can keep your head....",
There are two lines in the poem, which I had changed in
2007,
and I wished, Mowgli had known and applied them: ....And not
deny, but cry about your loss.... ...For you'll be Master
of your Life, my son.
During our Walking and when standing
in our circles,
I sang and sounded a lot, but not my own songs, which nobody
among the Walkers knew).
Did Mowgli not only sit with me in that rare scene in Shittin,
but sing with me?
The
first circle - by chance in
the shape of a heart - included Mowgli,
how strange, that out of all people I cropped out
this picture
and gave it this caption:
"SoonI would get to know these three: Emanuel
and Ronni and Mowgli"
Mowgli
helps Rea with an attempt to charge cellphones March
5
2013-04-11 By chance I opened the Channel
2 evening news earlier than I do usually,
and rightaway hit this "item":
a couple walked down to the beach,
"having the strength to do that for the first time
since their son Har'el Berlin was killed there".
According to the date indicated above, May 30, 2009, Mowgli
lived 49 days, i.e. 7 weeks longer .
Mowgli was the first one to ask for "friendship"
on Facebook, but I had no intention to get involved in Facebook.
A week later he died and I felt very sad to have ignored
his quest.
In honor of him I registered on Facebook and soon had some
140 "friends".
About a year ago I withdrew from about a hundred,
and I now let myself be contacted only by people, to whom
I can truly give attention.
Among them are most of "16 actors in my drama",
i.e. my children, children-in-love, and grandchildren.
If not for Mowgli, I would be much less informed about what
is important to these beloved ones.
2009_08_10-13
Nir Rak
What should
I do now, in order to end this page with joy?
I'll simply show, how we played music, danced and sang:
One of our best times were in the
desert,
despite the terrible cold in the evenings, in the nights, in the
early mornings.
Two women, who walked with us for 3 days, Orna and Adaya,
and who both attended my workshop about Self-Acceptance in my
home in Arad,
documented our experience with photos and
with videos.
An
ordinary day
There is a scene with a waking-up band, which gathered around
Robin and Lim,
with Erez and Jonathan (and me and Rotem as photographers).
I so much loved these spontaneous orchestras in real time
A
night of the Walk about Love includes one of the 3-4 songs
in English,
obviously inherited from the Rainbow-Gatherings: "We are circling - this
is unity, this is family.."
I was sad, that the song,
which some of us learnt at the interreligious
gathering in Jerusalem,
did not "make it" to the repertoire of the Walk about
Love,
though I tried to teach it, together with Harm.
My fear of "speaking up", leave alone singing in the
circle , was such,
that even those who tried to support me, soon gave up.
Still , it is the perfect song for the Walk:
"SHALOM - SALAM - HU- HI"
In the original it's only Hu-Hu, which refers to "HIM",
i.e. God.
But there is no reason, not to add HI (she), who definitely is
also God...
the more so, as the 3 movements of the body ask for a fourth one:
shalom (bending to the left), salam (bending to the right),
hu (bending forward towards the earth), hi (bending upward towards
the sky).
click to open and click to stop! Miryam Ahuvat-El -
during our "accidental" encounter in Jerusalem -
was ready to record it on my cellphone, including the ending.
The main part has to be sung faster and faster, with ever faster
movements,
and is really the epitome of what "God" means with "Moving
Emotions" !
Breathing - sounding - moving with Body!
(see a different version, sung by invisible
walkers in a video, discovered on Oct. 4, 2009)
Before we - on Holocaust Day
- left Neve-Shalom,
Wahat-as-Salaam,
this symbol of my personal and "national" pain,
I
entered their sanctuary with its wondrous accustics
and sounded my desire for healing and love
for myself
for all Walkers,
for the two nations in this land,
for all the people on this planet.
click to open and click to stop!
While in the middle of realizing a
new idea on my website,
I got a tearful phonecall from Lior Oren: Nir Rak is dead!
My experiences with him jump to my mind and heart...
and the first page, which my "search" came up with, showed this beautiful picture and caption:
"a typical scene
of lived love:
Emanuel (Italy),
Nir
Parastu
Gabriel (USA)"
2013-11-18 See at the end of this
page:
Parastu
in another context
And
then I vividly remembered four encounters with Nir
the first occurred right on the first day of The Walk on Migdalor
Beach in Eilat.
When I immediately set out to get to know the people who had gathered
there
(my proposal to Rea to call out "little circles for getting
to know each other" found no echo),
Nir was one of the first persons, if not the first, with whom
I engaged in an exciting talk.
It is exactly in his village Mikhmanim, where another Nir lives,
Nir
Gur, once a close friend . When
I now searched for info about the funeral of Nir Rak, it was Nir
Gur who helped me.
I
learnt soon, that Nir was highly involved in many issues and had
no fear of expressing his point of view.
His ardent arguing was turned against me more than once.
One situation, in which I wasn't pleased with this trend, was
near midnight March 7, 2009, at Shittin.
I was sitting on the lawn with Rotem, the photographer, Nir, and
a woman, whom I don't recall.
Suddenly we see that next to us someone was lying on the grass
in a worrying manner:
"What is the matter with you, D.!" I asked.
He had been one of "the leaders", but now he was furious
about his companions.
He slandered them in a way, that even for me it was difficult
to listen, leave alone to Nir.
I gave Nir a sign to be quiet and to just listen to this outpour
of emotions.
But Nir couldn't! He opened his mouth .... and of course, D. escaped
- furiously.
The story would not have impressed itself in me so much,
if not a second drama was to follow right away.
A woman (from USA) came towards our little group.
When she was still a few steps away, I called her:
"Hear, what we have been trying to do just now..."
wanting to say, that she may be able to help us with D.
But this Walker had her own agenda in that moment.
Another outburst of fury poured down upon us,
except this time it was directed against Christa-Rachel.
Nir didn't interrupt the attacker this time, and this was good.
We listened till the storm relaxed a bit and I said:
"Did you ask yourself, why you attracted me into your drama?
Me, the woman, who "destroys the Walk about Love "?
She was taken aback for a moment, but then continued....
"The night before I
had done what I thought was a successful relationship
counseling with Erez and Nir,
initiated by Erez and eagerly agreed to
by Nir.
The danger was, that there would be "a leadership
monster with two heads",
concerning the plan for the circus parade at Mitzpe-Ramon
some days later.
[see some pictures of this parade, taken
by others, since I wasn't with the Walk at Mitzpe-Ramon]
The circumstances for the session were terrible:
Erez and Nir sat with their backs to the fire, around
which other people sat and chatted or made music.
I sat across them in the cold and between us three accidental,
but good "supporters":
Michal Hallel, Emanuel and Lim.
A week later
- in a talk which finally occurred between me and Nir,
since by then any talk with Erez was impossible -
we both understood, that , as Nir said,
"the session was more damaging
than benefitting,
for I lost all my self-confidence
and Erez never asked me to cooperate with him .
In fact he never spoke to me again,
and I didn't dare to approach him again."
Since I never understood,
what actually happened with /to Erez then,
and talking to each other like reasonable people was impossible,
I could not(?????) take care of helping Nir heal his pain with
Erez.
There was a reconciliation with Erez
on May 2, an hour before I left the Walk,
but I fear, that no such healing took place between Nir and Erez,
and this now pains me terribly.
On the other hand Nir taught me something,
exactly with concern to that future parade,
which resonated so deeply with me, that I thanked him over and
over again.
He was helping me down a very steep descent, when he said:
"You keep saying, that it's not the
time to engage with people outside the Walk.
But after almost 3 weeks of having taken in so much, of having
received so much,
we are in need of giving out, of putting out , of creating."
With these words he touched my deepest desire - to empower other
people,
and I said: "Oh Nir, if this is the
reason for the circus-parade,
you are absolutely right!
If we are playing, drumming, dancing through the towns,
not in order to "show" the citizens, how fantastic the
Walk about Love is,
thus ripping the embryo from the womb before it's even born,
but in order to express ourselves and create together,
then I am all in favor of such parades!"
And yet, I don't remember him from the parades,
in which I myself took place,
in Arad, in Jerusalem,
in Tel-Aviv.
Was it because he had more and more distanced himself from me?
At least in Jerusalem he definitely wasn't there,
because I remember him on the morning, on which we set out from Jerusalem to
Sataf,
that he suddenly appeared , tired , burdened with his backpack,
all alone,
the last one of the Walkers, who had split off for walking on
the Westbank.
And like almost all the people to whom I felt close,
he did not join us on that day's walk with my son and my grandson.
The funeral took place at Misgav, on August
4, 7:30 in the evening.
There must have been at least 500 people and among them perhaps
20 walkers,
even three people from abroad: Frederick and Mark from Holland,
Thorsten from Germany.
On August 16, I had a moving encounter with Nir's mother Ronni.
But it's not yet the time to talk about the message of Nir's death,
which I also heard, when I bowed down to the edge of his grave...
September 29, 2009
On August 13 I sculpted my experience with
Nir
and closed my memorial with the image above...
Now, on September 29, I express my ardent desire,
that Eva Sabani will walk with us in Body - for ever! Eva
on Facebook
Would this kind of people understand,
that I have to wipe out the Succayah?
On
facebook Ran
Lichtner
shares a sequence of photos,
taken during the Earth Dance on Sept. 21-23,
on which I discovered Yif'at Ashkenazi
and Parastu...
my friends during the Walk about Love, 2009.
Could they become "partners" of my new vision?
Nava Lichtner ~~~~Ran
Lichtner~~~~Parastu
Parastu and Yif'at
Yif'at within a beautiful
threesome
"Full of children, full of love - green instead of
concrete"
See the tents! ~~~~a threesome hug with Yif'at and a hug
of father-son
"We are the people we
have been waiting for"
This is not a pretty picture, and
though the tents are erected just for 2 nights,
I would have liked the place of the EarthDance to be an example!
