I focus my experiencing and awareness on being
"a pioneer of Evolution in
learning to feel":
I let my Body vibrate and my Heart 'womb'
pain, shame, fear, boredom, powerlessness,
so feelings can >heal >guide>fulfill>evolve,
and ~~~ offer ~~~"goldmines"~~~ to us all!!
"I
want you to feel everything, every little thing!"
God, please tell me what's going on. Why am
I suffering so much?
"I am unsure of what you are experiencing.
You have gone far from my Light,
and I can only see you from a distance.
You could call me into yourself,
and it would help me see."
Okay, thank you.
God, please come in here.
Please come here and be with me.
Please come closer and help me with these feelings.
God, why have I been suffering?
"Some of your pain has been
your karma to experience,
some of your pain is not necessary,
and some of it you are experiencing on my behalf and on the behalf
of the healing of Creation."
Thank you. God, please help me here.
Please help me find acceptance for myself and for my pain.
It has been too much, it has been too difficult.
I want only to die, to be away from it.
I don't understand how my conscious intention could have brought
me this much suffering.
What did I do to deserve this?
"Like so many others, you have been a simple
victim of evil.
Like so many others, you have been pushed down into the Gap
so that the Mother and I could have an opportunity to find each
other there.
We didn't tell you to do this on our behalf, but rather you offered.
Your conscious intent is to heal, yes?"
Yes.
"Well, you know healing requires
that we first know that something is needing healing.
The second step is to explore what has been causing the split,
and the third is to move the cause to its right place."
Thank you. God, I guess we're in the second step now, right?
"Yes, and this is where the pain can no longer be denied
and yet there is still no resolution."
Okay, thank you. God, if you have not been present for my pain,
what good is it?
"This is a good question.
The value of your pain is that you can share
it with me.
When you cannot or will not do this,
then there is only suffering with no resolution."
Okay, thank you.
God, yesterday I couldn't bear to bring you into what I was experiencing
because I felt that you would be critical of me.
I couldn't even remember to do judgment
release,
I guess I had an unconscious sense
that it wouldn't help and would only make it worse.
What's going on here?
"You are experiencing the depths of hell,
and I need to go down there with you.
There is something in either you, me or us both
that has prevented us from traveling together.
This would be good to explore now.
From my end, it seems
like you break off from me, turn away and generally disdain me
and my presence.
This, of course, makes it impossible for me to Accompany you."
Thank you. From my end it seems
that you abandon me
and that you're either approving of my suffering or causing it.
"Yes, this is the Luciferic principle
at work.
When I am away Lucifer has you
and turns you against me by telling you
that I have turned against you."
Okay, what do you recommend?
"I suggest that you pray.
Lucifer hates prayer and of course does not respond to it.
His argument is that it is a sign of weakness and it doesn't work,
anyway.
In the meantime I can reclaim more of my essence from him,
as your spirit does the same."
Thank you. God, I thought you didn't want prayer.
"Yes, I prefer that we communicate in dialog
as we are.
This however, is a special case,
and one where prayer is meant more as a medicine,
and not only a communication."
Okay, what kind of prayer do you suggest?
"You can use old familiar forms like the
'Our Father' and 'Hail Mary',
and change the words so they're meaningful to you.
Thank you, I think I get it.
It's more like the form of praying is a turnoff to Lucifer
than the meaning of the prayers themselves.
I'll do it. God, is there anything else you can tell me now?
"Yes, you are drawing us closer as we
continue in dialog.
If you can face me and accept my presence within you,
I will Accompany you down to the bottom of the Gap
and stay there with you and the Mother as long as I am wanted."
Thank you very much. I'll take you up on that.
[Ever since this channeling my process has
been easier,
and I haven't felt like I should hate myself
for being so dark and ugly
that God won't even look at me.
I think God absorbed a lot of Lucifer that was stuck in me.
I only said those "prayers" a few times,
and the words I made up
weren't anything like the original ones I learned as a child,
but they sure helped.]
I follow my
understanding and new lekh-lekhâ on January 1, 2009,
that - after 7 years
- I should no longer create new pages on my 2 websites,
but intermingle the evidence of new experiences with that on existing
pages.
Since March 2009 I've been "synchronizing" the chronological
process of the Godchannel.com files
with the chronological process of my photos and -
if there should be time - observations of the
"Walk About Love" continuation
of April 15, 2009 , in Jerusalem; latest
update of this page: July 29, 2009
May the happiness all these faces
take the sting out of my remarks at the end of the previous
page...
Food on that day took a long way in coming into
our mouths.
But it was prepared and donated by the Hare
Krishna people,
who were as sweet as their food was tasty!
On the exit of the seven Pesach Days (also
close to Eastern)
a large group of us join the interreligious encounter in the Lutheran
Church in the Old City.
I decided to come too, though I felt tense and apprehensive.
Such meetings - with their pretty Jewish-Muslim-Christian bla-bla-bla
-are too much of a pain for me
- despite the harmonious "eating-together the first "Chametz"
- as was organized for this meeting.
I should have recorded the words of the German-Protestant minister,
the director of this church.
They were really NEW!
Jews, Muslims, Christians in Jerusalem in front
and some of the Walkers behind
Sari and her husband Shlomi
There was another good experience:
Before we left the park for the Lutheran Church,
Ronni Haklai, who suddenly re-appeared, introduced me to Miriam
Iron Ahuvat-El, or Ohevet-El,
who was a teacher of Re-evaluation Counseling (what
I call "Mutual Support") between 1980-1990 (I just read, July 29, what
I wrote about my encounter with RC in 1977-78:
"It is the most revolutionary thinking for me since what
I learnt from the ancient Jewish Sages!")
Miryam is also a
creator and singer of simple new-age peace songs.
One of them she sang during that ceremony in the Lutheran Church
.
I received one of her disks as a gift! Thank you , Miryam!
Thank you also for recording what people sang to movements of
Body
during that ceremony:
Shalom-Salam-Hu-hu. (see how
I "improved" on it later)
The next morning, April
16, the disorder everywhere in our "campsite" really
got on my nerves,
the more so as this one and only day two members of my family
were supposed to join us for a day's walk.
I felt ashamed, and though my son Micha didn't see the worst mess,
I felt ashamed throughout the day:
We walked liked a herd, not dispersed like usually.
And among the people at least two thirds I had never seen before.
Even some of my closest friends, who were holding hands in the
Morning-Circle, did not come with us
and - like Gabriel and Emanuel and Maria - disappeared for several
days, not to talk about ---- who left without a word to me.
Lim at least informed me, that she would go to Jordan, to see,
if she could help some people, who wanted to join the walk, to
cross the border.
By the way, she came back only on April 28, on the Eve of Independence-Day,
and while sitting next to the evening-waves of the sea, told us,
that she failed.
One of those friends had once served as a volunteer in Gaza.
Now the Israeli authorities refused to trust him
and refused to let him into Israel
and refused to let him join the Walk about Love.
Another dear walker, who did not disappear,
but who had announced the end of his participation already days
ago,
was Michael ( USA).
He had to fly back to his country.
See the mess and the greyness
of the two places
in which most of us camped
(unlike me,
who shared a little room
with Vasanthi and Aviyah)
"Masada", not
a name which I favor,
is the name of the Scout's place,
where we were allowed
to be protected from the cold
for three continuous nights.
Water-tank, kitchen equipment,
the backside of the Walk's trailer
and garbage everywhere...
This spot was at least lightend
up a bit,
by the laughter of Harm (Holland)
and by flowers which I had put there
So I took an initiative:
And that's what I noted on that day in the little block with the
names of those I spotted "I woke up the people and
encouraged some
- like Offer, whom I had known in Shittin-
to make breakfast.
In the morning - Nir Rak was the last to return from the Westbank.
Amost none of my "friends" joined the Walk -
neither Lim nor Gabriel,
nor Gal Mor, nor Emanuel, nor Maria,
Asaf (Arad) greated me, but did not come.
Nor did Yig'al.
Only Harm came, perhaps Inbal.
Most people were new.
At Sataf I met Gil, Michal Rosenzweig, Gal Mor and Yig'al."
I always find it offensive - i.e. I judge
it! - that people refuse to enter the circle
and demonstratively sit outside.
One of the "outsitters" in this case is Shai, who isn't
supposed to be with us at all, so he at least "is right"
not to join us.
I discern Gal, who - "as usual"
didn't join the walk " - and Evi (Hungary): did she walk
with us that day "as usual"?
And to the left ~~~~ is this Mowgli?
I don't remember to have seen him before or after, it must be
someone else.
Intermission: 2013
The other side of
the Morning Circle:
Lior Mor and Adi to the left ,------ and Uri to the right
and my son and grandson in the middle 2009-04-16--- 2013_09_02DELETION
REQUESTED
On Sept.2, 2013 I received an e-mail, which at first made
me rejoice,
- it happens once in 2-3 years, that anyone responds to
my web-site.
But - alas - the person asked me to take of name and pictures.
2009-04-16---
2013_09_02DELETION
REQUESTED
2009-04-16---
2013_09_02DELETION
REQUESTED
The neighbors
of ----have changed within a moment
and the face of Lior Mor has lit up from a frown
to a smile. 2009-04-16---
2013_09_02DELETION
REQUESTED
2009-04-16---
2013_09_02DELETION
REQUESTED
Only the faces of these three appear almost
unchanged.
Are they masks of "goodness" and "pleasing
everybody"?
Even today - May 20 - I feel pained,
that ---- disappeared without a word.
--- seemed to be deeply committed to the Walk and its
goals,
despite great upheavals in ---- personal life.
"------ on your island ...
should you ever read this:
please send me a word or
two!"
So...
more than 4 years later this person send me a word or two,
but not the ones I had yearned for:
Hi Joy,
i was forwarded you website channel from one of my friends,
I was surprised to read your comments of me on the site
in such a public place,
and I'm sorry that you felt how you did when I left the
walk,
I did say goodbye to many people who were there when i left
Israel.
I hope your well and it was nice to meet you.
I have a request, please would you take my name and the
photographs off the website,
and the reference you have to my full name,
I don't want to be publicly featured on your site in the
way you have done,
and I don't want to be on the internet in this way.
I don't want to be in discussion about this,
I just have the ask that you remove my name completely from
your site.
I hope my ask is clear. I believe it to be a fair request.
With love, Regards -------
["love"?????]
I feel, feel, feel disappointed!
Not only because this person is so attached
to his/her individual persona
that s/he cannot bear "transparency",
a feature of humankind I thought "we" strove
for,
but because many people I met on the Walk,
seemed to demonstrate to me,
that they were "pioneers of Evolution".
Yes, to experience this joy, was the real reason,
why I was "guided" to join the Walk for 9 weeks,
despite the great pains in the joint of my groin.
Now if this person,
whose face appeared in front of my eyes
the very moment I read the name in the letter,
must "hide" , must "be protected"
from the Internet ,
even from me,
who had felt so much on the same wave-length,
then what does this mean in terms of "Evolution"?
grandson Arnon and son Micha!
Yuval , too, will not be coming with us.
The advantage: he'll use Micha's car for chores for "the
Walk"
and also bring it to Micha to the next camp-site, to Sataf!
