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The
Gap
The "Gap"
isn't a place. The
Gap isn't a place. It's a space. Do you know
who is in the Gap? No wonder we
are afraid to go there. [See
my pages about the biblical Cain!]
Who exactly
is in your Gap? How can we
... bridge the Gap between God and the Mother Marriage is
the balanced union of Spirit and Will. Your external environment
- your home,
Navigating the Gap How did these
parts of Self fragment? Pain comes
in many forms; Accepting
simply means lack of judging.
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November 1-7, 2010 -
Closeups to my Past, Finetuning to my Present, Nourishment
for my Living -
- which enhance and enrich my experience of "Mika's
Heaven on Earth"
November
1, 2010, 10 PM I had just parted from the sweet family Tamir - one of my "partners", - Hila and Re'i-Benjamin, when I got a strange phone-call ~~~ from Germany!! "This is Irene!" "Irene Hahn from Kassel?" We hadn't been in contact - perhaps for 15 years - and now she found me! She is 3 years older than I, 75, and detests computers and Internet, therefore she could not find me through Facebook. "I searched in all the docs about the Succah which you once sent me, and there I found the name of a woman in Germany: "Cornelia Maas"! I detected her phone-number and listened to her stories about you!" When I completed this page on November 7, 2010 (remember: not even 1 kb more than 1300 kilobyte per page!) I - by "chance" - needed to mention, that in 1985 I would begin to live my mobile life and Mona would move to Kassel in Germany. |
This
is the only photo I have of Irene Hahn, and it was old, even when I got it from her probably after we met - in January 1986. How did we meet? What did Irene do for me? How did I myself come to Germany, to Kassel, the town where Franz Rosenzweig was born? My bus parked at Yanina's greenhouse, while my son worked on the carpentry. When winter made his work impossible, he said to me: "Why don't you take a break from all this toil, and join Mona in Kassel, and help her to get acquainted with Germany?" I lived with Mona in one room, for the first, though we had agreed to lovingly separate. I gave seminaries, and its there why I met Irene. [see about Hilde Domin's appearance in Kassel and Abel's victimhood] See, how generously she helped me in 1990-91 with "Succah in the Desert", both by sending helpers and by giving money! |
November 2, 2010
"Once in a million a snapshot succeeds like this: a
smile from the Sky! Send it to whomever you want to smile today"
(forwarded by Ralf, the husband of Regina, my sister's eldest daughter, after
their
family returned from Israel to Germany)
November 4, 2010 - 50
years ..... |
From "Matthew" 2003 |
A Vision
of "The End of the Days", as we say in Hebrew, or rather: a Vision of "Heaven-on-Earth", [see another part of this vision: the blind will see] and see my new song about "a covenant with the animals" I don't think like the person, who forwarded these pictures, that such a covenant is possible only, when there is no hunger. There must be another way to find food than eating each other. And the vision of "Matthew" about 2012 talked about this! |
Once upon
a time there were three Cheetah brothers. They stayed together after their mother left them when they were 18 months old. On the morning, on which we saw them in a Safari in Kenia, they didn't seem to be hungry. they walked or paused to play with each other. At a certain moment they met a group of impalas which fled as fast as possible. But one of the young impalas wasn't fast enough and the three brothers snapped it easily. And then the camera grasped this outstanding scene... |
Today, on November 4, 2010,
fifty
years after the beginning of Mika's grandparents' love,
I feel moved by what Mika drew towards a wedding the next day.
"It's a card for the bride"
of Avi, son of Shalom, brother of Efrat's mother.
Imma folded laundry, I repaired a towel, and Mika worked on our
chest
and learnt and practised how to write "nisu'im" [marriage]
and "kalah" [bride].
From spaceweather.com
A minor
"I had to walk |
On November 4, 2010, my brother-peer and
I had the deepest of talks,
which resulted in the decision of both of us, that we had to part again,
as it had been necessary several times in the 26 years of our friendship.
It
was Mona, my love and my angel for 6 years, the one who redeemed me from victimhood, who brought Ya'acov into my life.... Mona in the flat of Ramat-Gan, in living-room and veranda, The flat I rented for myself and my children, who joined me after my divorce- one by one. [Mona had her own flat] |
Shabbat, Nov. 6, 2010, While still in bed,
delighting in a day without program,
I grasped for a clipping among the heaps next to my bed and found this poem!
I would like to be as the echo of the field's breath, As the play of the lights in space, Winged with the wings of Song, Swept along like the running wave, And driven like the wind; As a joy that forgot its cause, |
Winged
with the Wings of Song or As a JOY that forgot its cause Yitzchak Livneh, Nahalal, fell in what Israel calls "The War of Independence"..., in June 1948. He was a pianist, loved nature, had "a wondrous personality" and was the first boyfriend of Moshe Dayan's sister Aviva. "He chose to work with immigrant youth... His knowledge of the land made him an outstanding tracker." I once discovered this poem in "Perhaps", the original, English, autobiography of Rut Dayan, (1973) which she dedicated to me in 1977, when she helped me with meeting "important people" for my Partnership work. I re-discovered the poem in 2005, and - wishing to read the poem in the original Hebrew- I found her, and she even came to Arad to meet me, during one of her visits to Laqia, a Bedouin town. She then got hold of the Hebrew edition "Ulai", and from a man who dealt with second-hand books. I tried to put the poem into tune already then, - in vain. Now, in November 2010, I feel elated by the line: As a JOY that forgot its cause But once again, I've a problem - not with the tune this time, but with the recording program (Soundbooth)! It trembled! After 3 attempts - of always inventing/recording a new tune - I recorded a fourth tune directly on my digital recorder, and after incredible effort (as usual) to learn it by heart, sang it again, clearly, and transferred it to Soundbooth. From there I created a soundbutton for "Freude, Freude"! |
When searching for an image, I thought about Chagall's "Lovers"
and found this:
"Hand-colored
etching of "Chagall's Lovers Exchanging Gifts" by Roberta Loach"
An hour later I came across a sentence on the last page of my Hologram 1984.
On Aug. 16, 1984 I'm listening to a casette, "which Ya'acov has copied
for me":
Stephan Micus.
A quote from that Hebrew page 146: "The sentence that was with me today:
'Since I'm one with you, I'm free in every moment to
create and be created' "
Wetterbericht
für die Zeit vom 01.11.-10.11.2010 Das Wunder des JETZT |
-2- Die Rückkehr der Mutter- die Erlösung der Dunkelheit-die „Entfernung“ des Bösen Die endgütlige „Rückkehr der Göttin“ ist die Rückkehr des weiblichen Prinzips in die „Dunkelheit“ eurer Zellen- die das weibliche Prinzip ist. Dafür wird entfernt, was sich dort durch die Dualität angesammelt hat- damit die Göttin Einzug halten kann. Ihr erlebt diese Prozesse wie eine Zwiebel- ...Dies ist die Umwandlung der Angst und ihr erlebt sie auf individueller und kollektiver Ebene. Denn jenseits der 4. Dichte- ist die Dunkelheit die Geborgenheit in der Mutter ... Ihr werdet nun noch einmal damit konfrontiert, was ihr in euch tragt und was ihr ausgegrenzt hattet. Übrig bleibt das „gereinigte“ weibliche Prinzip- und ihr entlasst alle Projektionen und „Verunreinigungen“ dieses Prinzips, das es über die Jahrtausende in- und durch euch erfahren hat und werdet leer. Es ist wichtig , euch zu sagen, dass euch nichts geschehen kann. Gleich, wie ihr diese „Reinigung“ erlebt. Ob sie euch zutiefst ängstigt- oder euch wie eine unglaubliche Befreiiung erscheint-die sie ist. Euer Fokus entscheidet darüber, wie lange dies für euch individuell dauern wird- doch für jeden Einzelnen von euch kommt der Tag, wo ihr aufatmet und all dies in den Zyklen eurer Natur gespiegelt seht-und das, was euch zuvor so real erschien- der Kampf zwischen gut und böse- wie eine Erinnerung an ein Märchen erscheint- und ihr werdet das Lachen der Befreiung lachen. Der Aufstieg des Drachen und die Ankunft des Phönix Ihr werdet erkennen, dass es nichts Böses an Prinzipien gibt. Der Winter ist nicht böse-so wie der Sommer nicht gut ist. Das Reifen des Samens ist nicht schlechter, als sein Austreiben Euer Fokus ist das, was für euch entscheidend ist. Die Dunkelheit wird in euch „gereingt“-um Platz zu schaffen und Eure Mutter Erde reinigte sie in sich- und so erlebt ihr das Aufsteigen eurer Kundalini , die gebannt war-die eine „Schlange“ war-und nun zum „Drachen“ wird- und ihr erlebt ein Herabsteigen des „heiligen“ Geistes- der sich nun mit dieser Kraft der Dunkelheit – die das Göttlich weibliche ist in euch vermählt- auf Zellebene- Und so reinigt ihr vor allem jene Organe, die in der 3. Dichte die Energien des Licht und des Dunkel verstoffwechselten. Dies betrifft vor allem eure paarigen Organe, Lunge und Nieren, sowie eure Zeugungsorgane und Eure Bauchspeicheldrüse, die in ihrer Funktion dual war. Die Gesamtheit dieses Vorgangs ist das Bilden eures Herzkristalls über Euren Kristallpalast im Kopf und euren Kristallpalast im Becken- und das Aufsteigen des Drachen. Dies ist das Aufsteigen eurer „gereinigten“ Kundalini- die sich aus ihrer Verankerung in der Dualität löst- und somit mit den herabsteigenden Kräften des Geistes- oder des Phönix, der ein Bild dafür ist- vereint. Und so stieg auch die Erdkundalini auf- was mit einer leichten Verschiebung ihres Zentrums einherging und der Kristall im Inneren eurer Mutter dehnte sich aus-so weit, dass er nun bereit ist, mit euch in Verbindung zu gehen- mit euch und euren Herzkristallen, die sich nun ebenfalls entwickeln und ausdehnen. .... Die relative Sanftheit des Übergangs All dies-ist der Prozess eures Aufstiegs. Und er geht so sanft , wie irgend möglich vor sich, auch wenn euch dies nicht immer so vorkommen mag. ... Ihr erlebt die Variante des Erdbebens- als Analogie für euren Aufstieg. Also Ja. Eure „Häuser“ können wackeln, der Boden kann sich bewegen- doch euch wird nichts geschehen.- wenn ihr euch dort aufhaltet, wo es „sicher“ ist. Was macht ihr, wenn ein Erdbeben kommt? Ihr bringt euch in Sicherheit. An den sichersten Platz und wartet, dass es vorüber geht. Dieser sichere Platz ist euer Herz. Und wenn ihr euch fest in ihm verankert, ist es sogar möglich, dass ihr das „Erdeben“ nicht einmal bemerken werdet. In den kommenden Wochen könnt ihr also zwei „Erlebnisrealitäten“ wählen. Erdbeben- oder einen Aufenthalt auf einer traumhaften Insel ... Je nachdem, auf welche Bewusstseinsanteile eures Seins ihr den Fokus legt. Und wenn ihr strauchelt und nach der „Wahrheit“ sucht- es gibt nur ein göttliche Wahrheit-und die ist: Ihr steigt auf. Ihr seid göttlich und die Schöpfer eurer Realität. Ihr habt euch durch das Halten eurer Fackel und Euren Mut so nah ans Zentrum der Realität der Schöpfung bewegt, dass es keine andere Möglichkeit mehr gibt. Nichts kann den Aufstieg der Menschheit noch verhindern. Nichts kann etwas daran ändern, dass das Erleben der neuen Wirklichkeit nach und nach die Realität für die gesamte Menschheit bilden wird. Aber natürlich gibt es noch jene, die in einer alten Realtität gefangen sind, die weiter alte Spiele spielen wollen-und dies mit Nachdruck. ... Doch auch sie repräsentieren oftmals Anteile in eurem inneren Universum, denen ihr Schattenexistenzen zugewiesen hattet, weil Ihr sie nicht sehen wolltet. Das was im Dunkeln verborgen war wird nun ans Licht treten- und sollte euch nicht ängstigen. Lacht darüber- und wendet euch ab mit dem Gedanken. „Das ist nur „Teil“ des alten Spiels-und wechselt den „Sender“. Schaltet um auf das Programm der göttlichen Realität. ... geht in eure Herzen und vor allem geht in das Vertrauen, dass sich alles so vollzieht, wie es sein soll- auch wenn der Boden wackeln mag. Durch den Durchbruch des Menschenkörpers habt ihr die letztendliche Entscheidung getroffen. ... Der Aufstieg Eurer Mutter stand nie in Frage. Sie entfaltet ihren Kristall und hat das „Unvereinbare“ vereint. Und so vereint auch ihr das „Unvereinbare“ und führt licht und dunkel in euch zusammen. Und werdet frei. Dies ist ein Versprechen, was ihr euch selbst gabt- und es ist ein Versprechen, das ihr einhaltet. Also atmet. Und werdet ruhig. Entspannt euch und öffnet euch für die Göttlichkeit in euch und um euch herum. Und ihr werdet schon jetzt das Paradies leben können- vielleicht nicht immer- aber immer mehr. Und so ist es. Amra nuber assai, ich bin Maitreya |
Julia/Matreya talk about increasing sun-flares.
After I had excerpted their message on Nov. 6, 2010,
my e-mail box showed : "Space Weather
News for Nov. 6, 2010:
M5 SOLAR FLARE: Active sunspot 1121
has unleashed one of the brightest x-ray solar flares in years, an
M5.4-class
eruption |
Arad, November 7, 2010: My father would have become
99 years today!
Isn't this a good time, to copy the last few pages of my 'Hologram 1984',
about the end with my Altzheimmer-sick mother, Maria, on the one hand,
and the beginning with my handicapped peer, Ya'acov, on the other hand?
See
this poem with its only recently (!) re-newed tune and with photos of my mother
as to the note on 2005_06_18
about the small beginnings of "the Kingdom of God", based on Daniel
4, see my
deep experience in July 2006
My father, Siegfried Guth, with his father, Franz Guth, 1937 See "a new view of my parents", a sculpture, completed on November 13, 2010 With my mother, Maria Guth, in my home at Ramat-Gan, 1984. She did not know me, she always called me "Ursel", the name of my sister, since for 16 years it had been my sister, who had taken care of her, though never in her family's home. |
See now , Dec. 29, 2010, |
"Behuetet und Geborgen"
|
23/4/1984
-Rilke "Wie zwei Einsamkeiten einander schuetzen, grenzen und gruessen..." [s. now Rilke's Letters about Love, copied by me] |
Mona, who immigrated with her family from Iraque in 1969, was
more and more pained by what she learnt about the Holocaust
Micha, my youngest child, became 18 only on August 31, 1984,
My plan was, to wait till he would be in the army for half a year,
the time at which children become "weaned" from their mother,
and then begin my Lekh
Lekha and follow "Abraham's
Bus-Steps"
"Know exactly, what
you want, and then get out of the way and let it happen" You were the third - serene and smiling - "just like my third", said the nurse with pride, "the confident baby of a confident mother, who learned to trust in her own true heart." When you were fife, you stunbled, then tumbled over the root of a forest tree, "nafalti, akh lo nishbarti", you sang [I fell, but I didn't break] while depest trust lit up your little face. Then somethng went wrong, the trust got lost, "When I shall be big', you announced at seven, "I want a job, a salary that's fixed, not a shop where I'd risk to not sell and earn... XXXXX To learn to live, my grown-up son, means to learn to let life happen to you, maybe, the dead are on the safe side, They've reached their aim, they are secure. You now will leave the fences of safety, you chose your mountains, you know where to go. But reaching the top takes place in an instant- Life is the way: the way creates life! Situations of life, each moment anew, Let them Happen to you, and trust in your heart, that yours is the power, the wisdom, the joy, to transform all mud into gold. After Micha had finished school, I encouraged him to travel to England - alone - before starting his army-service. For his birthday I made this poem. But he said: "I don't like your poems. In my eyes you are not a great poetess. You use associations which are only yours and don't mean anything to somebody else." Mona: "On the contrary, the messages are too clear. A poet writes a poem for the sake of writing a poem, while for you the poem is a means ! But you use it as a means, as a message!" |
My yearning for partners was pathetic, then and before and after... When Erika Knoller, 23 years my senior, and our "New Age" teacher consented to work with me in the planned encampment around my bus, I asked her tearfully, to repeat what she wished me for my 46th birthday: "Yes, I wish you, that you will enjoy fruitful work and cooperation with me!" Nothing came out of this, but later, in Succah in the Desert, in 1992-93 Erika came several times as a guest and painted in the Ya'acov-Succah! Our last meeting - in hospital - 2003 (time of 'Noah's Ark') - was loving... |
The last entry in my Hologram 1984 shows my most
terrible predicaments.
They are still my terrible predicaments, but I'm accepting myself as I am,
I even know, why I came to earth like this and I surrender to the results.
|
Continuation of
Closeups to my Past, Finetuning to my Present,
Nourishment for my Living -
- which enhance and enrich my experience of
"Mika's
Heaven on Earth"