| The
Purpose of HEALING - K.I.S.S.
- as stated 12 years ago - was and is
to help me and my potential P E E R s
"to HEAL ourselves into WHOLEness,
and - by extension - all of CREATion!" |
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I focus my experiencing and awareness on being
"a pioneer of Evolution
in learning to feel":
I let my Body vibrate and my Heart 'womb'
pain, shame, fear, boredom, powerlessness,
so feelings can >heal >guide>fulfill>evolve,
and ~~~ offer ~~~"goldmines"~~~ to us all!!
"I
want you to feel everything, every little thing!"
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K.I.S.S. -
L O G 2
0 0 8
Keep It Simple Sweetheart
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1
2
3 |
How
Learn
And |
I
The
Train |
Heal
Conditions
In |
Myself
For
Creating |
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Whole
On
Conditions
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Self-acceptance
Earth
Daily |
Click!
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Then those who see Ha-Shem, will talk
among each other,
and he listens and he
hears
yatakaalamuna allathina
yarau'na-hu ,
va-yusri va-yasma'
Dann die IHN schauen, werden reden miteinander,
und er lauscht und er
hoert
Puis ceux qu'ils voient Ha-Shem, se parlent
l'un a l'autre
il entends,
il ecoute
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It seems that I chose 26 actors
for my life's drama and those 26 actors chose me! One
common trait of all roles is "mutual dependency"
between them and me.
With 16 actors - my family - the mutual
dependency is life-long! With my landlords
at Arad & with my
6 starchildren, born
between 1986-88, it may be temporary.
My children: Immanuel, Ronnit, Micha; my
children-in-love: Efrat, Uri, Ra'ayah; my 10 grandchildren [born
1987-2005): Elah-Alon-Tomer-Mika; Jonathan-Rotem-Yael-Itamar;
Arnon-Ayelet
My landlords: Ofir & Meital+ Lior (2002) & Amit (2005).
My starchildren: Lior Oren, Zipi Winkler , Dina Strat , Meshi
Taib, Gal Mor, Boris Arons [26=YHWH=13+13=ahavah+ahavah =LOVE!]
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Intro
to
k.i.s.s.-l o g + all
dates
~ Library of
7 years ~ HOME
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( of Latin characters only!) my
eldest granddaughter's video-gallery
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|
2008
December 18
Kislev
21
Thursday
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Actions:
To the pool
(2) climbing up and down
the Wadi of Compassion
Garden: working watering
Kisslog: healing-creating
TV & Internet: learning
Preparing food. Cleaning
Traveling:I. fetches f. Lod |
Interactions:
ph. from R O T E M!
ph. from Immanuel: decision
concerning the piano-stool, Since I found out, that there won't
be trains in the entire country tomorrow, I'll travel tonight,
mail to I., phoning. -The Cohen family came in for a moment,
to
show my flat to babysitter Hagit.-Immanuel,Efrat
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The FOCUS of MY INTENTION
TODAY
Know exactly what you want, communicate clearly what you want,
then get out of the way, live and play, and let happen what
may
10:38
I desire to accept the ridiculousness
of my fear of "doing the laundry today"...see finetuning!
I desire to bring to a closure my sculpted exploration &
experience of 107 days of "Big Brother".
I desire to enjoy the al-one-ness in my love-ly castle
[I didn't know, that I would have to prepare
for traveling and leave the house at 19:10 ] |
image
of the day, dedicated to little Amit's fascination with spirals
& to little Lior's reading to me
|
hodayot [thanksgivings] for
today
8:45
My Body,
my Partner,
my God
I give thanks - what an understatement! - to your ability
to walk.
I want to consistently apply
the 18th Paula-Aya-Key (see Oct.
31)
During walking anywhere - focus
on four points:
(a) to contract the anus sphincter all
the time
('it will know by
itself, when to let go for a moment & to go back to contracting.')
It's possible to contract the bladder
sphincter at the same time.
(b) to let the tongue touch the opper gum lightly, in the
center of its cavity
[or "to sense that specific, undefinable point between
the shoulder blades]
(c) to place the fourth finger above the fifth finger on both
hands
(d) to let the toes open and close
I'm grate-full for a little amusing
coincidence: (6:50):
I caught myself "engaging" in the waking-up habit
or pattern
of feeling ashamed about some things I had said -
in this case to Lior Oren during our - good! - phone communication,
and when I just wanted to laugh 'raa qraa qraa' - s. yesterday's
"Intention" -
I heard a real 'raa qraa qraa' from a raven outside my window...
I'm grate-full for the midrash I just
learnt: "shal man'ulekha me'al
raglecha"
"release the locks from your habits,
for you are standing on holy ground",
and in this case remember: you
are not - and don't have to be - righteous!
I'm grate-full for the "peer-talking" with big Lior
& the sweet communication with little Lior and little
Amit.
I'm grate-full for my heater
(bequeathed by Oree
and Narda, when I settled here),
and though the tucking in and taking out from the socket is
cumbersome,
I enjoy to lie back in bed again until it's warm & comfortable
to get up
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Finetuning to my Present or
as it turned out: "Closeup
to the Past"
It seems to me, that there is quite some relating to washing
the laundry in old times,
when there wasn't even soap,
but has ever anyone related to this chore since there are washing
machines?
Efrat lately gave an example of her techno-phobia:
"When they brought the new sophisticated
washing machine, I implored them
to show me just 3 different temperatures and how to start the
process and end it."
When I was young, I pitied my mother every Monday toiling with
the laundry
- I still see the huge dark-red pot on the flame of the gas,
meant to bring the laundry, which already had been soaked for
hours, to a boil,
and when the water had cooled down, she began to rub the clothes
on a board,
Oh , it was such a toil, that I swore to myself:
"When I shall marry and have a place to live in for my
own,
the first thing that I'm going to buy, even before a bed or
table, will be a machine.
During the year, in which my baby son - and partly I myself
-
lived with my mother,
she already had a half-automatic machine.
Since I - who made myself the footmat of the family - had to
do the washing,
- after all I had 'whored around' and placed an illetigimate
child into the world -
I used to get up at 4 AM, - to put the things into the machine
for the first step.
I went back to bed and got up again - perhaps at 5:30 - and
dealt with more steps,
until the laundry was ready to be hung on the rope in the garden.
At 7:00 I had to run to the bus, some 15 minutes, in order to
drive to Tuebingen,
and start my job at the University.
Even in Israel it was for many years, that we only had a half-automatic
machine.
When the laundry was washed, it had to be pulled out from the
water
and squeezed into the ? and then hung up.
Like my mother I washed only once a week, at least after diapers
were "behind me".
I took care, that the children's clothes did NOT have to be
exchanged every day,
like it is the usage nowadays.
I wasn't rigid as my mother, who - understandable -
let us change clothes and underwear only once a week.
Nor was I scolding my children for getting dirty,
as do some housewifes even nowadays despite their posh washing-machines.
But even today I don't find it necessary to waste so much water,
chemicals, electricity and time on washing clothes or sheets
etc.
on which nobody can discern the dirt or sweat.
[As differentiated from some women ......
I am peticulous with kitchen-towels & table-clothes:
when I see only slight dirt on them, they have served their
turn...]
I don't recall,
what kind of washing-machine I had during the 4 1/2 years at
Ramat-Gan,
at the end of which I completed raising my children,
since the youngest was by then in the army for half a year
and I could allow myself to begin my
mobile life.
And where did I wash my laundry between July 1985 and November
1989;
when I had no home except my bus?
Of course, everything which didn't need boiling, I washed by
hand.
And I was even more hesitant with deciding,
that something "really needs to be washed in a machine",
and then brought this item to my children, whom I visited regularly.
I saw each of them at least once every 2 weeks.
When I began to realize "Succah
in the Desert",
a woman in the municipality of Mitzpe-Ramon
- thank you! -persuaded me
to rent a flat (the prices were incredibly low at that forlorn
place).
"It's very cold here in winter
and you might not be able to live in your bus."
That argument wouldn't have convinced me at all,
but I came to understand,
that I needed to have an office with a telephone and a washing-machine
,
if I wanted "Succah in the Desert" to be a proper
business,
as a model for Desert-SPS-Hosting-Economy.
From where did the machine come?
Did I actually choose and buy it at Beersheva?
A pity, I don't remember this detail!
What I do remember very well, is washing the laundry of the
business myself.
Though at that time guests were asked to bring their sheets
with them,
there were always people who didn't and there was a lot of other
laundry.
I had only two ropes of a length of perhaps 4-5 meters
between this and the neighboring ugly storey-house.
The neighbors could steal precious clothes, and this did happen...
After 14 months of the business' functioning, in May 1991,
the first volunteers appeared, without me having called them.
I suppose, that from then on they were the ones who washed the
laundry.
At some time I transferred the chore to Rita,
the Russian neighbor of the office-flat,
whom I also taught how to answer the phone during 1 or 2 hours
per day,
so that guests could register and also tell us, if they needed
transport to the Succah.
Still later, when I had given over the business to Itai Kenan
and all his followers,
they began to bring the laundry to the commercial laundry of
Mitzpe-Ramon,
which hadn't even existed "at my time".
And I , again, washed most things by hand
(I remember clearly, how I used the water-tap inside the Alpaca-Farm
(also written Alpacca-Farm,
if you want to search for it)
during the some 40 days of having been permitted to park outside
their fence),
and brought items which needed boiling or ironing to my children.
It sounds simple: "I washed by hand".
But what about the water and fire needed?
I had neither, for instance, while I was in the
Sinai.
As each foreigner has to leave Sinai every 2 weeks,
I took my laundry to the border, walked through the border from
Taba to Eilat,
took a public bus to the northern end of the town,
and then hitchhiked all the way to the center of Israel, to
one of my children.
On my way south my backpack always was huge,
not so much because of the clean clothes,
but because of the things I needed in Sinai,
for realizing my
mobile model of a Desert-SPS-Hosting Business.
During the
time in Eilat
- first near the Egyptian border, then near the Jordanian border
I didn't have a problem with water,
though I don't recall
from what source I filled my 1500 liter fiberglas tanks in my
bus
When we, Tamir
and I, moved to the Dead Sea,
first to Metzoqe
Dragot, then to the Ein-Gedi
Fieldschool,
we were allowed to use the washing machines
available for the official hosting-team.
During my 4 1/2 months with my son in his rented flat at Shoham
there was his machine...
While at my sweet water pond at the Dead Sea (March 13-June
30, 2000),
I seem to have brought my laundry either to him or to my daughter
at Modi'in.
From July 1 to Nov. 4, 2000 I lived again with Immanuel, and
also with Efrat.
From Nov.4 till April 30, 2001 - I lived in my tent in the garden
of my daughter
and I suppose, that I took care to not burden her (with 4 children,
whose clothes were exchanged every single day, and perhaps her
own clothes too),
and gave her only the most necessary things for the machine.
I had free access to water and electricity and used it when
no-one was in the house.
After my dangerous pilgrimage
(or "escapade") to the Pyrenees
- during four weeks in May 2001
it was decided by all children, that I should rent a flat of
my own at Modi'in,
(for which they would pay partly)
so that Immanuel - who responded to Efrat's wish to move back
to the Galilee-
would have a place to host his children once a week and every
second Shabbat.
It was also convenient for my daughter and all the
help she needed for her kids...
The rented flat was furnished and included a washing machine.
Except for the problems with this machine
- and the money I had to spend on repairs-
money which I did NOT have at that time,
it was fine to have had that machine from July 2001 till June
2004.
During the last year - when I already lived in Noah's
Cave at the Dead Sea -
the machine was used also by my subtenants, two girls from the
Ukraine.
Right in the beginning, the cave was flooded by rain.
the adventure of "bringing" all the muddy sheets,
blankets, carpets to my daughter,
is described in "Noah's
Diary", Day 19 - and I still shiver when I think of
it.
Then there was the time, when I had a room at Mazkeret Batya,
while I lived in my tent on "Rakhaf".
My daughter-in-love wasn't pleased with this arrangement,
and even didn't remember that it had been her who had proposed
it,
when I needed to give up the flat at Modi'in,
in which I hardly lived and which cost much too much money for
my children.
Ra'ayah
certainly wasn't keen on washing my clothes,
since she is a person who feels easily disgusted -
for instance by the hairs that fall from my head anywhere and
everywhere.
So I washed my laundry myself,
but - and this is the main point of my phobia -
how could I gather enough items for 3 temperatures to fill a
machine?
Ra'ayah had to suffer only for 5 months,
then I was finally given the
gift of a furnished flat - close to the desert - at Arad,
for which I could and can pay from my National Insurance.
Ofir, my landlord, said: "I
also have a washing machine for you."
But this story I've told elsewhere.
I've been "driving backward" for 80 minutes now and
feel exhausted.
I can't believe, that I did and lived and suffered through all
this.
What a paradise is my life today - in terms of comfort and ease
(not to talk about so many other aspects..)
The purpose of this "entry" was to finetune into my
"laundry-phobia",
as I experience it nowadays.
But I must postpone this to another time.... |
A symbol for my 20 years of strife...
the spot, where i stumbled and
injured my leg
when - 25 days ago - I
came from the pool
and climbed down the Wadi of Compassion.
The sign on my trousers - as "a gift for team-workers"
which I received during my time at Metzoqe
Dragot:
It shows a wo/man descending a rock with the help of a rope,
and on the photo appears upside down.....
"My" washing-machine, with
an image of a man resting from toil,
saved for me by Ra'ayah, my daughter-in-love
next to a cloth-covered box for the utensils I need for the
toilet.
Another symbol of my strife:
A crooked tree, which I perceived for the first time
close to the track, which I walk up daily to and fro - twice
The same tree - even more crooked - from a slightly different
perspective:
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And that is where I am now , still in the desert
but in comfort and with a washing-machine, which would work well if
I wouldn't mess it up with my phobia..
Climbing down the Wadi of Compassion - to the left,
north - and to the right, towards the water-towers and the triangular
synagogue
Song
of the Day
from "And now the end is near"
I've loved,
I've laughed and cried.
I've had my fill;
my share of losing.
And now, as tears subside,
I find it all so amusing.
To think I did all that;
And may I say
- not in a shy way,
No, oh no not me,
I did it my way.
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During our "Four o'clock Meal" -
this time on the low table in the living-room - Arnon becomes very tired,
while the girls chase through the house in a wild dance, with Itamar
behind them
And now Mika will hear and see her
song for the first time.
The "classical" performance with Yael's clarinet and Arnon's
singing doesn't touch her much,
but though Itamar and Ayelet too have to still read the text from
a paper - stuck below the table in a way that even I didn't discern
it
their performance did excite Mika very much!
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2008
December 18
Kislev
21
Thursday
|
|
|
Actions:
To the pool
(2) climbing up and down
the Wadi of Compassion
Garden: working watering
Kisslog: healing-creating
TV & Internet: learning
Preparing food. Cleaning
Traveling:I. fetches f. Lod |
Interactions:
ph. from R O T E M!
ph. from Immanuel: decision
concerning the piano-stool, Since I found out, that there won't
be trains in the entire country tomorrow, I'll travel tonight,
mail to I., phoning. -The Cohen family came in for a moment,
to
show my flat to babysitter Hagit.-Immanuel,Efrat
|
|
Intro
to
k.i.s.s.-l o g + all
dates
~ Library of
7 years ~ HOME
~ contact ~
SEARCH
( of Latin characters only!) my
eldest granddaughter's video-gallery
whole&full-filled,
never perfect&complete 
Keep It
Simple Sweetheart
K.I.S.S.
- L O G 2
0 0 8
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