The Purpose  of   HEALING - K.I.S.S. - as stated 12 years ago - was and is   to help me and my potential P E E R s  "to HEAL ourselves into WHOLEness, and - by extension - all of CREATion!"

Intro to Healing-K.i.s.s. 2001-2013 and Overview of its main libraries [If you look for a word on this page, click ctrl/F and put a word in "find"]

I focus my experiencing and awareness on being "a   pioneer of  Evolution  in  learning  to  feel": I let my Body vibrate and my Heart 'womb' pain, shame, fear, boredom, powerlessness, so feelings can >heal >guide>fulfill>evolve, and ~~~ offer ~~~"goldmines"~~~ to us all!! "I want you to feel everything, every little thing!"

	1	2	3	4	5	6	7		"AZ NIDBERU" - My new Midrash and song in 5 languages about the prophecy of Malachi 3, 16 ["YHWH" is named "HA-SHEM"= The Name]
1 2 3	How Learn And	I The Train	Heal Conditions In	Myself For Creating	Into Heaven Those	Whole On Conditions	Self-acceptance Earth Daily	Click!	Then those who see Ha-Shem, will talk among each other, and he listens      and he hears yatakaalamuna     allathina     yarau'na-hu , va-yusri        va-yasma' Dann die IHN schauen, werden reden miteinander, und er lauscht      und er hoert Puis ceux qu'ils voient Ha-Shem, se parlent l'un a l'autre il entends,        il ecoute

It seems that I chose 26 actors for my life's drama and those 26 actors chose me! One common trait of all roles is "mutual dependency" between them and me.
With 16 actors - my family - the mutual dependency is life-long! With my landlords at Arad & with my 6 starchildren, born between 1986-88, it may be temporary.
My children: Immanuel, Ronnit, Micha; my children-in-love: Efrat, Uri, Ra'ayah; my 10 grandchildren [born 1987-2005): Elah-Alon-Tomer-Mika; Jonathan-Rotem-Yael-Itamar; Arnon-Ayelet
My landlords: Ofir & Meital+ Lior (2002) & Amit (2005). My starchildren: Lior Oren, Zipi Winkler , Dina Strat , Meshi Taib, Gal Mor, Boris Arons [26=YHWH=13+13=ahavah+ahavah =LOVE!]

The FOCUS of MY INTENTION TODAY

Know exactly what you want, communicate clearly what you want, then get out of the way, live and play, and let happen what may

10:38
I desire to understand, why on the day, on which I revealed my 26 actors on top of K.i.s.s.-Log,
I was approached -via 3 different media- by 3 people with whom there is no 'mutual dependency'!
I desire to savor this pressure-less creating on K.is.s.-log in the al-one-ness of my Arad castle.
I desire Tomer to become "parental" to structuring and full-filling his last days at his mother's
I desire to no longer try to change the reasons (patterns, beliefs, judgments) for choking feelings
but to feel, move, accept them - vicariously - for all humans who are afraid to feel their feelings

hodayot [thanksgivings] for today

11:17
My Body, my Partner, my God
I give thanks to how you evolved from a specific combination of molecules
into this unbelievably sophisticated being!
While savoring the splashing, massaging water in the jacuzzi this morning,
I suddenly disscerned the harmony of this splendid eight-fold leaf.
I remembered the question of a scientist in yesterday's 3SAT Newton program
about the origin of life on this planet:
"Why did Evolution choose this combination of molecules
in order to devolop life?
Did other worlds choose different combinations?"
And I think, that if such a leaf could evolve out of some life-less molecules,
it must be possible, that out of the wholeness of my body, feeling, mind, spirit
one day the perfect conditions for "Heaven-on-Earth" will e v o l v e .

I'm grate-full again for the wondrous technology,
which allows me to heal, live, learn, create
with so much more ease, efficiency and satisfaction than in previous times:
electricity first of all , middle of all, most of all!
computer, earphones, microphone, Internet
Television, Camera, Cellphone with its functions: phone, music, recorder...

Finetuning to my Present

Why do people turn to me who don't know what they want from me or from themselves?
On the very day, on which I decided to make it clear - right on top of K.i.s.s.-Log - who are the 26 actors with whom I'm ready to interact and why,
I was approached -via 3 different media- by 3 people with whom there is NO 'MUTUAL DEPENDENCY'!
First I got a call from Felicia, to whom I made it absolutely clear, that I do not want any contact with her for at least a year.
This is what I wrote on Kisslog on my birthday, August 15:
"I had the courage - and felt encouraged by my inner voice -
to part from yet another "friend" - Felicia.
A double, awkward phone interaction following her birthday blessing,
helped me to do, what for her came as a "sudden surprise"...
"I've tried to prepare you for years,
but you wouldn't hear or feel me",
I said.
I was as gentle as possible, but I knew I would cause pain. "

Now she said: "I only want to know how you are and this will last me for the next 10 months!"
How could I cut her off rightaway? I laughed. This encouraged her to go further:
"I told myself! There is a boundary, but why shouldn't I transgress the boundary?"
Encouraged by another small laughter from me, she tried: "I read a very interesting book, 1000 pages."
"Now you want me to ask you what book, don't you?" "It's called: The first citizen of Rome!"
"Felicia, I do appreciate your courage to approach me!
I do not appreciate, that you don't admit your manipulation!"
Of course, she protested vehemently, that she tried to manipulate me!
"One last sentence, Felicia, and then please let me cut off:
I appreciate your courage for not heeding the boundary I set up.
And there is nothing wrong with trying to manipulate me,
for it is my responsibility not to fall into your trap of manipulation.
But it is not right, that you deny this and are not ready to admit it.
Be well!"

I wouldn't have mentioned the incident here, it there wouldn't have followed two other incidents of this kind:
An e-mail from an Arab-American woman, who knew me in 1977-78 and who "only wants to say hello!"
And a skype-chat from a young man, with whom I had a good talk at his mother's in Tel-Aviv, Horkanus St, in October 2006.
He too has nothing to share or to ask for.
"I only care for you."
Even my insistent quest: "What do you want?" led nowhere.

I can not make it clear to the two Israelis, Felicia - a woman my age, and Ido - a boy of about 22, leave alone to the Arab American Kristina,
what I made clear to Muhammed from Pakistan on June 11, 2008 (see below),
for Muhammed came with a quest , while those three are so unaware of what they want,
that they will not understand my very need for knowing why they contact me.
I have a purpose in life,
"healing myself into wholeness - and by extension - healing creation".
For realizing this purpose I must be focused, concentrated, disciplined,
which also means, that I must limit my exterior actions and interactions to what is serving my purpose.
My most efficient healing-learning-creating is with actors with whom there exists MUTUAL DEPENDENCY,
which means, that neither of us can run away when triggered.
Even if some of my actors, like my daughter Ronnit, my daughter-in-love Ra'ayah, my son-in-love Uri,
and now and then some of my grandchildren,
withdraw from me, so as not to be forced to cope with their being triggered by me,
they know and I know, that we are and shall be in each others' lives
and knowing this has an effect on their and my healing and their and my learning.

I try to retrieve memories about Sayyida, and the only thing that comes is a blurred pain.
She was one of the many, oh so many people, whom i tried to win over and "train" as partners.
Since she was Arab - from what country??? - I invested even more efforts.
I see her sitting in our study room - we were "working" , but concerning what?
and maybe she took part in a session of the "Partnership" committee at Abraham Lisod's house at Rishpon.
See "The Pain of Illusory Partnership"...
I opened this page now and -- decided to send Sayyida this link with the following words:
"Thank you, Sayyida, for approaching both me and my granddaughter .
How did you find out about Elah (Ella) and me, Christa-Rachel Bat-Adam?
And why did you change your Muslim name into a Christian one?
And why is your family name "Jordan"?
Relatives (Jews in Israel!) of my husband (divorced in 1981, died in 2001) are called "Jordan".
I must confess, that I don't remember, from which country you came and how you found me in 1977-78.
My memory of you is - seeing us "working" in my study at Ramat-Hadar,
and perhaps sitting together at a Partnership Committee meeting at Rishpon.
I don't recall why we parted from each other.
While trying to conjure you up, My feeling is a blurred pain. To understand this,
you may open the page "The Pain of Illusory Partnership"..., though you are not mentioned there.
Thank you again for caring about me.
Rachel "

4 hours later: No!!! The questions in this letter will encourage her to continue this correspondence.
I'll wait another day and pray for an answer, which will make Kristina part from me without pain.

Finetuning to my Present
[re-sculptured the next day]

Late in the afternoon I found a new entry of Ido
who re-opened yesterday's skype-chat:
"shabat shalom may u always accept others,
and find peace within yourself and with the ones around u"
This total misunderstanding triggers me and tempts me to react:
"I have no problem with accepting almost any human being,
leave alone you, who brings up a warm feeling in my memory!
If you would be in my daily life, close in place or work -
- if it would be clear to you and to me,
that we chose each other as actors in our dramas,
actors for learning and healing together -
in MUTUAL DEPENDENCY at least for a period of time,
then I would embrace you with all my heart and mind.
But I have a purpose in life
and must not disperse my time and energy on chatting.
And since you don't even know, what you want from me , from yourself, from us,
I must stop you from contacting me right now!"
Yet I feel, that this reaction would come from my need to be righteous
and to be judged justly.
Am I capable of feeling and moving my pain of being cynically distorted by Ido?
I'll think about it for some days.

I still have no idea, why I attracted those 3 people yesterday into my drama!

But I ask YOU:
please prevent people whom I must reject and therefore hurt -from contacting me!
PLEASE!

Nourishment from Others Quax, the Crash-Pilot. I just finished my lunch with the end of a 3 SAT doc about a pretty landscape in East Germany (Zittau), when a movie started, with Heinz Ruehmann, which I already had seen once. I wanted to close, but couldn't help watching it to the end: a comedy about a "don't want to be a" pilot, an anti-hero at a time - 1941 - which connects to totally "non-comic" associations.... I cannot see the propagandistic trends, mentioned in Wikipedia, on the contrary I see that a bragging anti-hero becomes truthful in the face of love, and that a stern flight-instructor becomes soft like a loving father, when discerning his denied aspects mirrored in his undisciplined trainee. It must have been in the late fifties, when I once did the extraordinary: I went to see a live cabaret with Heinz Ruehmann, in Stuttgart, with my own money! 3 SAT , today: Otto Groschenbügel riskiert eine ziemlich große Lippe, als er in der Fliegerschule Bergried aufkreuzt. Die kostenlose Ausbildung zum Piloten hat er in einem Preisausschreiben gewonnen. Sonderlich glücklich ist er darüber nicht, und Fluglehrer Hansen meint auch bald, ein richtiger Pilot würde Otto nie. So lässt sich der jungeMann bald in sein Heimatstädtchen Dünkelstätt zurückschicken. Dort allerdings ist man mächtig stolz darauf, mit ihm den ersten Flieger des kleinen Orts hervorgebracht zu haben. Um nicht völlig blamiert dazustehen, reistOtto wieder in die Fliegerschule zurück. Dort lässt die Liebe zu der hübschen Marianne "Quax", wie man Otto spöttisch nennt, fliegerisch zu großer Form auflaufen. Bei seinem ersten Alleinflug will er sich von seiner Angebeteten das Ja-Wort holen. Heinz Rühmann, der selbst begeisterter Sportflieger war, ist in dieser Fliegerkomödie in der Hauptrolle zu sehen. Regie führte Kurt Hoffmann, der später in den 1950er Jahren der wohl erfolgreichste deutsche Lustspielregisseur war ("Das Wirtshaus im Spessart", "Wir Wunderkinder", "Bekenntnisse des Hochstaplers Felix Krull") .

Movie-Trailer about the anti-hero Quax, der Bruchpilot, 1941 (!!!)

Nourishment from Others

A Planet in another sun-system!!!!

"Driving Backward into the Future" = "Closeups to the Past" = Healing&Harvesting my Past

It was July 10, when I wanted to begin a new stage of the realization of my vision
- among the Bedouin of the Zealots' Valley.
On my way there, walking from Arad , walking, walking and not finding any hike, the sun was setting:
"I'll have to sleep on these hills tonight", I said to myself,
In that moment a car came and did pick me up.
"But I'm turning right after half a kilometer!" "Never mind, please take me."
Then it hit me:
"Are you the one, who erected a hosting place on that hill, as I was told?"
"Yes, I am Sa'ar Carmieli, and the place is called 'Misholee-Rakhaf'."
"I've wanted to get to know you, do you have time for a talk?"
That's how I came to Rakhaf.
Later Sa'ar would rarely have time even for the shortest of talks.
But when he heard, that I was the Rachel from "Succah in the Desert",
he embraced me warmly.
"It was there, that I had a vision about the future of Rakhaf and Israel!"
He invited me to stay over night - gratis.

For the next day an encounter had been planned at the Bedouin town Laqia,
together with my "partners" Tamir Peleg and Hagai Lev.
After the meeting I went back to Rakhaf .
Hagai was with me, but he had to pay 50 NIS to stay overnight.

The next morning Sa'ar announced:
"Rachel, i invite you to live on Rakhaf in your tent!
The Bedouin will reject you and not let you stay with them.
Here you are safe. From here you can do your work. "
A true angel on the abyss!
Thank you, Sa'ar, for ever!
And may you once forgive me for having forsaken you in winter.
On December 3 I escaped from the stormy rains on Rakhaf
and I moved into a sheltered room at Arad,
and on March 13 I dismantled my tent, still erected west of Rakhaf,
Up to this day it is stored on my veranda
in the house of the Cohen family at Arad.