pp53

The Hymn to Joy, now also the Hymn of the European Union
see my own version of this song in Beethoven's 9th symphony

I feel so free, so whole,
that I don't even have a question
But I need to express this great gratitude towards You in Me.

The togetherness with the quartet was without a cloud.
Especially the dancing of the two couples,
the two five year olds and the two 3 year olds was so,
that I would want them to dance for me
in the hour of my death,
if I would experience death,
which I won't in this life time.

I was not supposed to tell them the big surprise,
but I myself woke up early, excited with what they would experience.
I was singing around the flat so noisily,
that Yael woke up by herself,
dancing into my arms in her princess nightgown.

And then I went with my daughter and her four children
to the airport for local flights, for a long promised holiday.
The father had gone early with the car to meet them there.
It would be their first flight,
and they were overwhelmed with wonder.
Even Jonathan waved his hand from the shuttle that took them to the plane.

I watched them,
these four healthy, beautiful, smart human beings,
and my daughter
who never imagined she would have more than two children,
and who never believed she would grow into being a mother the way she did.

I drove their car back.
Entering the now quiet, orderly home,
I again took Ay's drawing in my hands:

"This is the sky,
and this is all the colorful world",
had explained Ayelet, the tiny girl (3.5).

Their father had taken Ayelet and Arnon, as usual,
when they were just about to fall asleep,
all the four of them on the huge mattress,
lively to the brink of their little beings.

All my immense aliveness wants to focus
on being alone, all-one
with you and this site and my beautiful flat,
except for short hikes
into the sunny greening flowering winter nature.

Itamar's fourth birthday started with a TV experience,
that forced me to drive backward into the Nazi time,
and continued with at least 4-5 other triggers like that.

Maybe - I attracted these in order to feel all the more
the joy in an event that contrasted and balanced them
and also contrasted the daily deterioration of this state.

In July 1996 the first 50 inhabitants of Modi'in,
among them the landlords of the 6 flats of this house,
moved into this new town - 25 km NW of Jerusalem.
Now it counts 30000 citizens including 10000 children.

Today we celebrate Purim, a kind of Jewish carneval,
except that it's grounded in a deep and relevant story,
relevant for this time in both - its light and its shadow.

The light for me is not the fairy tale salvation from a holocaust 2400 years ago,
This, together with the cruel revenge at the end, suits people's wishful thinking.

To the 10000 children belong 7 of my 9 grandchildren.
Three of them, as part of their "Democratic School"
took part in the town's costume parade, the Adloyada.
On Purim you should be joyful and get drunk
'ad-lo-yada', "until-not-knowing" the difference!
the difference between Haman and Mordechai,
the bad guy and the good guy in the Purim story.

About a 1000 children marched, performed, exclaimed.
Mine were screaming along all the 2 km: "Democratic",
to state, that the harassing of the Ministry of Education,
which wants to close the school, does not frighten them.

Probably all the other 9000 children lined the road,
as were parents and babies, many strollers with twins.

In other towns the "Adloyada" was cancelled for security reasons.
Not so in this town, though it's situated exactly next to the border,
with no "buffer-zone" (the latest panacea of blind politicians) in between.

Standing in the crowd with three other grandchildren,
I had flashbacks to a time,
when babies were ripped from their mothers' arms
and smashed to death on the closest garbage bin.

I was a baby myself then,
but later I saw it on the inside.
I still see it.
Tears accumulate and my breath gasps.

When my "illegitimate" son was born,
the offspring of a German mother and a Jewish father,
I gave him the name: Immanuel.

When two weeks later I delivered my M.A. thesis in theology,
I revealed the scandal by showing the professor a photo ~~~

The professor Eduard Schlink went red.
He went redder when he saw the name,
a title of Jesus based on the Christian interpretation of "my" prophesy.
He was outraged at my "heresy"
and yelled through the old university of Heidelberg:

"Don't you know, why Hitler had to come?
Because all the Jewish bosses had been raping their maids and secretaries."

[Schlink was the ambassador of the EEC, the European non-catholic Churches, at the Vatikan.
His sister, Mother Basilea Schlink, had made a brave Christian stand during the Hitler regime
and in 1947 founded "Marienschwestern", a Protestant order of nuns,
to contribute her part of atonement by doing good in Jerusalem]

An ancient "Endloesung"
[the "Final Solution" declared by the Berlin Wannsee Conference of 1941 or 1942]
is quoted in one of the Biblical Psalms 83,1-5:

"Oh God! Don't keep silent, don't shut up, don't be still, God!
For behold!
... Against your people they plot a scheme,
they consult ... they say:
'Let's go and exterminate them from being a nation,
that Israel's name will never be remembered again.'
For they have consulted together with one heart."

Guided by key-words - "behold" and "consult"
I found my (God's?) response in "Immanuel":

"Therefore the Lord himself shall give you a sign:
Behold!
the young woman
[the word is not 'betulah'=virgin, but "almah" = a young woman at a maritable age.
The ancient Greek translation, the Septuaginta, decided on "virgin"
and thus created the base for the myth of the Virgin Mother of Jesus,
a myth that has been serving the Chritian denial of sexuality up to this day]
is pregnant
and gives birth to a son,
and calls his name Immanuel.
Isaiah 7:14
...

"Take counsel! consult! - it shall come to nought!
Speak a speech! - it shall not stand up!
For immanu el ["with us is God"].":
Isaiah 8:10

The triple use of immanu el or Immanuel
in Isaiah's prophesy to the king of Judaea
[in the ninth century B.C.]
has a confusing, contradicting meaning:
It might be a blessing as well as a curse.

But for me it had and has one meaning only,
the one I again felt at my town's Adloyada.

With the cherished words of a later prophet:

"There shall yet old men and old women
sit in the streets of Jerusalem,
every man with his staff in his hand for very age.
And the streets of the city shall be full of boys and girls
playing in the streets thereof."
[Zechariah 8 ,4-5 - this prophecy also received a tune in the meanwhile...]

Right in the first rows two boys were holding a big sign:
"If you want shalom, peace,
it's not a fairy tale."
I was very touched by this public declaration,
implied in the application of a famous saying:
"Wenn ihr wollt, ist es kein Maerchen",
"If you want, it's not a fairy tale".
said a hundred years ago by the visionary of a Jewish state, Theodor Herzl,
who died young, from exhaustion, after only a decade of "walking his talk".

He, an Austrian offspring of the German culture, said this in German.
The Democratic School chose as their fairy tale
the "Neverending Story",
a book of 700 pages, written by the German Michael Ende.
It's the only book for children I read in the last 50 years.
Ende (also the family name of my mother's ancestors)
denounced any connection to the movie based on his book.
But what would he say, if he saw, what I saw?
That Jewish children, influenced by the movie,
had re-created his giant white good-humored dragon,
and walked behind it through a crowded Jewish town,
in their midst my 2 granddaughters as White Child Empresses?
"Everything happens only once,
and once everything happens."
[See also Arnon's work about the Neverending Story in 2007:
puzzle-piece 1b: 2007_11_22 ]

Invited to Ronnit's family for the Eve of Shabbat,
I came to sit next to Jonathan at the festive table..

7 hours before, while we both attended a dance performance of Rotem at school,
Jonathan, "of course", did not appear,
neither among the saxophone players
nor among the audience.
There had been "problems again", he had hit a child.
R. said desperately:"You are right, he really is lost".
"I never said a thing like said", I countered strongly.

Later I called her:
"Could you free yourself a little towards sunset
and walk with me on my path to 'my garden'?"

Sitting on an ancient terrace wall, my "king's seat",
I reminded her with hot fervor of what she knows:

"Since Jonathan is an actor I invited to my play,
how can I make an "IS-statement" about him?
What I said the other day, was, that I'm scared.
I am scared - not for him,
How do I know what he needs to learn?
I am scared of the triggers
I might attract through him.

My way to heal this fear,
is healing into wholeness,
so I won't attract triggers.

"But what, if I am an incompetent mother after all?"

"There you are! Judging yourself heavily again!
Even if you were incompetent, you do the best you can."

"As long as you focus on the change in him, that you work for,
it will bring you disappointment,
which will cause you self judgment,
which you'll then probably project on him as blame.
So, what I ask you to do, is what I ask myself to do:
Whenever your terror is triggered by a new "event",
feel the terror concerning your child totally,
love yourself for the way you are coping with him,
remember that he might be a fragment of ours,
i.e. an incarnation of an ancient denial of ours,
and as to your worry about him,
trust that he too chooses his life."

Now, 2 hours later I found my grandson in good mood,
he even told me a joke right before we lit the candles.
The family adopted my tradition of uniting the flames,
and when it was my turn to do so and say out loud,
what in myself I want to unite,

I dared to share the culmination of my week's healing work:
"I want to unite the pain about the lack of recognition for my thesis
with my new understanding that I, in fact, chose and need this denial."

"But you have another year until 2003!" said Jonathan.
I looked at him with utter surprise,
for the fact, that he related to me,
though not even supposed to in this ceremony,
and because of his sudden sympathy with me.
"Oh. You mean my vision "Altneuland 2003"!
I hadn't even thought of it. I meant my thesis!"

It is true, the little novel about the future desert economy,
with its title alluding to the visionary novel : "Oldnewland"
by the main propagist of a "Jewish State", Theodor Herzl,
burnt or rots like hundreds of papers depicting the vision.
And so do the 200 audio-casettes on which I recorded it.
But in terms of time invested and pain entrapped in it,
it cannot be compared to my thesis and other writings.

This gift from Jonathan was to be followed by another.
After dinner the children were in the mood of dancing,
While I was swirling around a little one, Jonathan said:
"After them it's MY turn."

The last time, we had done this, was at least a year ago.
Now he is almost 11, how could I still do this physically?
But my Body has extraordinary capacities when needed.

While spinning with him I matched the jumps he invented,
and when at the end of the music we were both exhausted,
he said, a little embarassed: "It's ages I haven't done this".

I was grateful for these reflections of my new wholeness.

The next day, Shabbat, brought great gifts from Rotem.
She and her friend Mikhal stayed with me for 10 hours.
Twice we worked together; twice we had serious talks.

Work:
Through high grass, spotted with yellow chrysanthems,
I led them twice to "my" two wild fig trees.
One I had finished clearing from dead twigs and bad herbs,
but the bigger one seemed to hardly breath
under veritable monsters of stinging nettles.

The girls helped with such enthusiasm "to rescue the tree",
that it was me who had to stop from exhaustion.
They begged: Rest a little, so that we can go on.
Even when each of them got stung by the nettles
and their delicate skin reacted much stronger than mine,
they used the pain to jump on the uprooted or slain herbs,
so as to prevent them from raising their heads again
and to cause them instead to serve the tree as fertilizers.

I could write a story about their creativity, their stamina,
their way of observing, concluding, and clever chatting.
"We should bring the other girls here,
this is more fun than going to the mall or watching movies
But only if they won't litter the pure soil around the tree."

The satisfaction we drew from both, the work and its result,
was heightened by some extra delights,
like freeing a hidden suffocated flower from emprisonment,
or following gigantic arrows of migrating birds in the sky.

When the old complex trunk could finally breathe
in a nettle free area of about 1.50m all around it,
the girls were elated and stroked the tree lovingly.
"Such a tree - it always gives and gives to people.
When does it happen that it receives something?"

The pride of having given something to the tree,
recurred in a quite different context a little later.
Back home my ear caught Mikhal telling Rotem:
"You know it! To give is better than to receive."

"Oh no, no, Mikhal, don't buy into this old belief!
But first let's have tea. Then I'll explain to you ."

Testing if they were really ready to listen to me,
I faked forgetting. But they soon reminded me:
"Tell us, it's fascinating if you talk to us like that."

A triggered hole in me wanted to snap cynically:
'You could have that every day, if you wanted.'
But my "Mind" appreciates Rotem's instinct of
drinking from my udders in homeopathic doses.

I told the plight of Cain [see pp20, end of first post]
and its application in one aspect of our society.

"About 20 years ago I listened to a lecture
by the President of Israel, Yitzhak Navon:

'The immigrants from Arab countries
came here to contribute and to give.
They had a highly developed culture.

'But right at their arrival in the airport of Israel
men in elegant suits were sprayed with DDT.
Then they were driven off to be taken care of.

'No one was interested in what they had to give.
They learnt that they were expected to receive.
It's then that they demonstrated on the streets:
-Bread and Labor! Give us Bread and Labor!-
This is why Cain murdered Abel.'
closed the President of Israel."

I mentioned my "udders".
"I always gave too much.
Did you hear, what I said,
when I united the flames?"
"We did not understand it."

I told them the example of my PH.D.,
(for me a chance to 'move' a little more)
interrupted often by their questions and associations
and closed with sharing my gratitude:
"See, what gift the uniting of the flames brought me:
You!

"You received my giving,
when you came with me to my path and my fig-trees.
You received what I wished to show and to teach you.

"You accepted my idea of rescuing the tree
[I didn't tell them, what Elah had said a week before:
"They'll catch you and fine you for touching this tree,
this tree is perfectly alright without your pruning"],
not just with words, but with wonderful help.

"You received my giving, when we discussed together
the pain of the real Christopher Robin in Poo,the bear.

"And now, when I told you about Cain and my PH.D.
you let me give you from my wisdom and experience.

Thus the three of us said "Shalom" [=wholeness],
deeply fulfilled by mutual giving and receiving.

Another day or deep joy about small things.
Especially in contrast to our lives' context:

Daily terror and anti-terror actions touch us.
A religious highschool: Ra's eldest nephew!
he is safe, but some of his friends are dead.

E. was next to the killing close to Lebanon.
This time I saw "by chance" the six photos.
Lin, 20 years ago a volunteer from England,
later Jewish, and her daughter Atara (15).

Among the "rescuers" a convinced fighter,
who lately had written this letter to Sharon:
"Do I have to get killed,
so my mother will be granted citizenship?"
He was the only son of non-Jewish Lubilla.
Once his father will arrive from Russia,
the son will be burried apart from soldiers
who were killed as "Jews" by religious law.

My neighbor, the secretary of Alon's and Tomer's school:
"You shouldn't go to the hill anymore. It's too dangerous!
Everyday I get phone-calls from frightened parents - like:
"I heard that a terrorist hides in the school's surroundings!"

On this background my joy on Tuesday, Daddy's day::
I.'s kids have a dilemma between daddy and friends.
Jonathan, Alon's cousin, is also his closest friend.
I succeeded in convincing Jonathan to come here.
When I. was busy with bringing Tomer to a party,
I even succeeded in dragging them both to my hill.
Alon plunged into work as fervently as the girls.
My Jonathan, "of course", didn't move a finger,
but neither did he pester us with going home.
In fact he seemed to enjoy path and tree a lot.
Later Alon took all my blankets and cushions
Wild-soft battles and endless fun and laughter,
while I. helped Elah to prepare for an exam.

After supper, always cooked by their father,
the 3 kids left and I got my lesson in "Flash".
If I were less dumb and blocked in grasping
how to add sound and animation to my site,
I would miss this togetherness with my son
and his brilliant improvement of my ideas.

"The symbol of the RUOW books in all quotes should rotate,
and a visitor's click on it should make her hear me speak."
"Why not make the symbol glimmer instead of rotate?"

At midnight I synchronized the first blue shining symbol!

First thing today, a special day:
the discovery of a so far hidden, because oddly dated e-mail
and in it a poem,
that gives a woundrous voice to my present springtime elation.
It seems to me that I never experienced spring as I do this year.
It's because the beneficial theft of my bicycle
made me limit the scope of my roaming in nature,
makes me stoop down to the growing and flowering and wilting
along the winding path I created on "my" Mother Breast's hill.

Wednesday is the festival of the 4 little ones.
Their mothers bring them after kindergarden.

A tiny little additional joy:
Jonathan came up with his mother,
when she delivered Yael and Itamar.
He never comes up and he never comes.
It was as if the meeting with Alon
had pierced his fence of defense.
I AM GRATEFUL for SMALL FAVORS.

Then the quartet's bustling creativity
early and late afternoon and bedtime.
(Once they are all finally asleep,
Micha fetches Arnon and Ayelet,
while the other two stay with me.)

Rotem, who usually joins us for a while,
urged the quartet to come and see our tree.
"Let's take a basket with our tea and snacks!"
I filled a thermos with self-grown Louisa tea.
"And this time don't forget a cloth", said Yael.

My heart swirled in exstacy,
when I watched the five little humans
pushing their way up my intimate path,
disappearing and reappearing in the lush tall grass.

A hilarious picknick on a rocky surface next to the tree.
Rotem was pleased with the work I had done since Shabbat.
She couldn't wait until the two of us combatted some more nettles.
Then she found a tiny shard of an ancient jug: an exact triangle.
"That's for you, grandma, I know you like triangles,
though I forgot why."
"I never told you. It's a secret."

The air was almost painfully clear.
The view stretched to the shimmering sea in the West
and to the hilly villages of the Palestinian homeland in the East.

Then I walked Immanuel to Elah's school
showing him a shortcut over my hill.
Suddenly from a soft grey sky
enormous drops of spring rain!
So desired by the earth, by me.
I opened my mouth in singing,
I stretched out my loving arms,
my clothes flapped moist around Body.
Cushions and carpet on my veranda: wet.

Alon entered the door without knocking:
"Elah sends you these biscuits!"
and off he was, to his bicycle.

Except on Daddy's day I don't see or hear I.'s kids.
Today there was contact with all three.
A strange phonecall from Tomer: "Can you meet me?"
He's not allowed to cross the road alone,
so he waited next to his house, making his usual acrobatics.

"I've gathered 17 old boards to make a "camp" between bushes.
I want you to help me to gather more boards."

"But Tomer, you have boards for at least 3 "camps'.
What is the real reason that you called me?
Maybe you want to go with me to our figtree?"

"Mother doesn't allow me to go with you."

"And she doesn't know that I'm with you now?"

"No, she's gone to the supermarket."

His poor hardworking brain had figured out a solution for his dilemma.
If he stayed with me in the park where he was allowed to roam alone,
it might somehow be acceptable, that grandma was with him secretly.
I shouldn't have allowed this secrecy, but I decided to go along with it.

While we were squeezing heavy ugly boards through a fence
he expressed his growing fear:
"What will she do to me, if she sees us!
Maybe we climb over the fence here, it's safer."
Climbing was difficult, for both of us.
No sooner had we jumped to the ground on the other side,
when his mother spotted him from across the dog-shit lawn.
"Tomer, what are you doing!" she yelled from the third floor.
I kept myself hidden behind the bushes and Tomer ran away.

After a while I dared to go home, knowing that she knew anyway.
A phonecall: "Why didn't you wait for me? Can you come again?"
I hurried to meet him at the same juncture and heard him shouting:
"She talked to me nicely!
She allows it! She allows it
How wonderful, that it all ended well!"
And he skipped and swirled, so happy.
"What did you tell her?" "The truth."

When we had added our boards to his treasure,
I was afraid of what he would suggest and said:
"Tomer, this lawn full of dog-shit makes me sick,
I'll ask your mother to allow us to go to the hill."

Tomer followed me fearfully.
I looked up to the window.
She had been observing us.

"Ruth, this lawn makes me vomit
while on the hill it's so beautiful!
I'll not let him fall into a cistern!"

A happier child no one has ever seen.
It wasn't just this specific permission.
He had been freed from a night-mare.

How terrific, drowning in the tall grass,
with its billions of yellow chrysanthems,
and a single red-velvet "stave of Aaron".

He started to beat the nettles and got - stung.
Even when the pain subsided, the signs stayed.
Will this be another proof of my irresponsibility?

It may be only temporary,
this end of the dilemma for Tomer
between mother and grandmother.
But as an ancient Roman poet said:
CARPE DIEM
Pluck (the fruit of) the day.

2002_09_07 Rosh Hashanah [The Jewish NewYear]

Well meaning people wish me "Happiness".
How can I explain, what makes me happy?
Is there someone who would even ask this?

I didn't lack moments of joy this last week.
And our festive togetherness was perfect.
But another episode of "Twice in a Lifetime",
brought me in touch with this deep place in me,
where abysmal sadness and exuberant joy meet.
In "Daddy's Girl" a gambler learns to take responsibility for his daughter.
He learns to not run away from feelings, to love her and also to let her go.

When the episode ended with the closing song
about "Changing the World",
I sobbed, as always, when I witness,
that a person starts to heal into self-acceptance
and to grow in self-respect & self-determination.
From there true communication between people
follows as surely as a blossom ripens into a fruit.

But since this miracle happens so rarely,
my happiness intermingles with sadness.
I saw myself starting to sing the song,
which so often has helped me to weep:

"Sowing in tears, reaping in jubilation"

This psalm is traditionally sung on the Eve of Shabbat,
which yesterday coincided with the Eve of New Year.
The tune I prefer, I learnt at Taize, France, in 1976.
I adapted it to the original Hebrew words of Psalm 126.
4 stanzas and sowing and reaping as the chorus.
Listen to two tunes in the 2007 Song-Game

2002_09_24-27

"What I want most for the coming year, is joy!"
said by Ilana, my age, and said by Merav, less than half my age.
One lives in the south, in Eilat, the other in the north, in Ein-Gev.

As to me, there is all the time much joy in my life.
The Feast of Succot, from which I draw so much inspiration,
included a day this time when joy meant to en-joy myself!
For what other people 'enjoy', often makes me feel empty.

See an enlarged version of the following series of images

Many religious folks intermingle,
for it's a festival, but not shabbat,
on which they wouldn't drive

Efrat and Rotem with Benni Danieli
sculpting the Ein-Sof- the Endless

Efrat & the Druze sculptor Haatem Obeida talking with media people

Druze women baking, selling pittas

Strolling in the woundrous park

FESTIVAL OF SCULPTING
Feast of Succot 2002
at the [artificial] Montford Lake
in Ma'alot-Tarshikha, Western Galilee,
the only Municipality in Israel
run jointly by Jews&Arabs
Director: my daughter-in-love
Efrat Rosenzweig

Light and Water Spirit and Feeling!
See the folks that flock to the festival
& my Efrat orchestrating everything!!
Despite 6 hours in busses and trains,
Rotem so much enjoys what I enjoy:

the artists sculpting in Galilee stone,
paddling in a Kayak & scating on ice,
guests-of-honor of Efrat and her staff,

but the most joyful experience of all:
being enchanted with our own sculpting
of male (Rotem) & female (I) surfaces.

A biblical prophesy	Listen to it in Song-Game 2007	about joy and gladness
	Isaiah 51,3

By the end of our joyful day,
one sculpture was completed:
E M B R A C E

Guidance:Making Chinese lampions
writing "Earth, Water, Air and Fire"

Different boats with lots of folks

Maybe the only people I envy are those who glide over ice with ease

As guests-of-honor we are driven between Efrat's office and the lake

The cloud above all this celebration
Washdi, a high official in Efrat's municipality, tells about discrimi-
nation in Ma'alot's Arab twin-town

Succot for me is filled with the mystery of the regathering of people.
"They'll come from all nations year after year and go-up to Jerusalem,
to celebrate the feast of tabernacles", prophesied Zechariah [Ze 14,17].

Though the context of this prophesy implies not only joy, but threat;

and though the thousands of "Zionist Christians" from all the nations,
who flock to Jerusalem each Succot "to comfort my people" [Js40,1],
indulge in a fantasy of Israel, and are not helping it to heal its terror;

and though I won't 'go-up' to Jerusalem, which is sticky with hatred,
but did 'go-up' to Ma'alot [plural of "ma'aleh"=ascent from the verb to "go-up"]

I experience the healing power of the symbols that make up Succot:

Succot - exactly half a year after Pesach - completes the message of the Going-Out, of Freedom
While the going-out from slavery was a one time event, and not initiated by the people themselves,
Succot means a training in freedom = security found in trust, not in externalities like land or temple.
The letting-go of security at Pesach is symbolized in burning leaven and eating unleavened mazzah,
the training in freedom, i.e. appearant insecurity, at Succot makes the whole family live in a succah.

I shall be only as free as I am whole..

When I shall be whole, i.e. accepting myself wholly,
I shall not attract situations that threaten my security.
When I shall be whole, I'll also be whole with people.
There won't be divisions between "righteous and evil",
or between those who know/do and those who don't.
We shall all be 'agudah akhat', One bundle, One bunch.

This central message has shaped itself into a wondrous song
on the last day of the year 2008!

This is the message of Succot - true freedom and therefore true unity and therefore true joy.
Is it by accident, that I started to "drive backward" to my book, with its message of Succot?
Surely my intense work on integrating my book in Healing-K.i.s.s.
caused me to feel Succot in Ma'alot with all my soul, all my senses.

When I came to Israel by boat, on Sept. 13, 1960, for my scholarship year,
it was during the Succot feast that I went up to Jerusalem for the first time.
The old,groaning, crowded bus was slowly climbing up the old winding road,
when an unfamiliar moon rose over Jerusalem, lying in the sky like a cradle.

[Oh no, I mix this up with a later ascent to Jerusalem at night:
At the Eve of Pesach and at the Eve of Succot the moon is full]

I had a place to stay, Aunt Ilse, the sister of my future mother-in-law,
and the next day she brought me to the places, where people gathered,
not yet to "David's Tower", which I could see only through barbed wire.

The pilgrims - as in biblical times - came from all regions of Israel.
All those cultures and colors, - much more conspicuous than today!
I felt overwhelmed - and all of them Jews! all these were still alive!
and all these were now coming back, together, as the prophets said.

There at the lake I felt this joy again,
the joy about people coming together
never mind discord and divisiveness.

Even when a forgotten bag was putting the Security on alert,
and all the folks followed orders and emptied the space fast,
and after the bag had been blown up, came back just as fast,

I felt deeply tied in into one bunch.

I caught the sights with my camera,
feeling joy and love for all the folks.
I'll intersperse them in "kol Yisrael",
so when I'll meet them there again,
I'll remember my love and my joy.

And my sculpture?
I pass by often
and I sense
the soft slopes and valleys
of the female hills
surrounding
my succah in the Desert

2002_10_01; last update: 2003_03_29

And the feast of Succot had yet another enjoyment in store for me!
As if he had felt my desire, Arnon moved me to my SaltSeaSprings.
Suddenly the deep meaning of this has made itself clear to me.

"Abraham" (1998) , e-mail quote on January 4, 2012

You are joy,
looking for a way to express.
It's not just that your purpose is joy,
it is that you are joy.
You are love and joy and freedom and clarity expressing.
Energy—frolicking and eager—
that's who you are.
And so, if you're always reaching for alignment with that,
you're always on your path,
and your path will take you into all kinds of places. ...
you are Pure Positive Energy
that translates into the human emotion of joy.

Back to 70 Puzzle Pieces Guide which helps me to learn and to live that "God has evolved"

.pplist PUZZLE PIECES GUIDE 2001-2002
.pplistpreface -Preface to Puzzle Pieces Guide
.pp1 - Driving backward
.pp1b-Driving Backward to Retrieve Goodness
.pp2 - Peer Companions
.pp2b- Peer Companions
.pp3 - Moving Emotions
.pp4 - Identifying Triggers
.pp5 - Trapping Will
.pp6 - Releasing Judgments
.pp6b-Releasing Judgments
.pp7 - Total Self-Acceptance
.pp8 - Understanding and Choosing Experience
.pp9 - Body the Master Healer of Creation
.pp10 -Denial of Will
.pp10b-How God started to feel and to deny
.pp11 - All of Creation
.pp12 - The Goal: To become Parental and Whole
.pp13 - Feel all there is to Feel
.pp14 - God's and my Will and Desire
.pp15 - Guilt&Blame are the same
.pp16 - Reality reflects Denial
.pp16b- Reality reflects Judgments
.pp17 - How I learnt Moving Emotion Techniques
.pp17b- Moving Emotions: Sound
.pp17bb-Sound + 17bbNote: Heart
.pp17c- Moving Emotions: Breath
.pp17d- Moving Emotions: Body Movement
.pp17e- "Releasing" Emotions
or Moving & Evolving them?
.pp18 - Good and Bad
.pp19 - Body's Illness and Aging
.pp19b -Body's Death
.pp20 - Everyone a Hologram
.pp21 - Oneness and Duality
.pp21b-Fragments and Fragmentation
.pp22- Perception and Projection

.pp23 - Loving Hearts' Denials
.pp24 - Lucifer and Ahriman
.pp25 - Denial Spirits and Asuras
.pp26 - Redeeming Lost Will
.pp26b- Redeeming Lost Spirit
.pp27 - Movement of Lost Will
.pp28 - No overriding, no letting override
.pp28b- No overriding, no letting override
.pp29 - Reclaiming my Power
.pp30 - Unconditional Love
.pp31 - Sacrifice what you don't want
.pp32 - Doing the Healing Work
.pp33 - Greatness and Grandeur
.pp33b-Reflection of Denied Greatness & Power
.pp34 - Communication with Deity
.pp35 - Following Will's and Body's Lead
.pp36 - September 11, 2001
.pp37 - Gaps and Eruption of Gapped Rage & Terror
.pp38 - Unconsciousness, Amnesia
.pp39 - Deity and Manifestation
.pp39b -The Process of Manifestation and Creation
.pp40 - Cease Creating New Manifestations!
.pp41 - I Create my own Reality
.pp42 - Victim and Perpetrator
.pp43 - Self-Victimization
.pp44 - No one needs Correction or Punishment
.pp45 - I need you to feel how I feel
.pp46 - Love&Light&Joy&Peace???
.pp47 - Mary and The Mother
.pp48 - Rage and Terror
.pp48b -FEAR
.pp49 - Ego
.pp50 - "Let Consciousness Serve Sentience!"
.pp51 - "Laughter - the Final Stage of Healing"
.pp52 - Loving and Healing Sexually
.pp53 - JOY
.pp54 - Light's Way to Dwell in Hell
.pp55 - Heaven on Earth