channeled on 98/07/15~~~~ checked for updates on on 2005_07_02, re-checked on 2009_10_11.
There were again some changes, but this time I did not indicate them, but simply corrected the text.
I checked the file for updates [but there were none], after it was, since Febr. 19, 2010 , included in the new Denial Pages -
"an index that lists the more prominent places on the site where denial energy is discussed and the various ways of releasing it are described."

Healing Class III
Reclaiming Lost Spirit
Part One: Ahriman

"At the beginning of lesson two of this class
I mentioned that in denying parts of my Light,
I created two spirits who were separate from me.
The first I became aware of is called Lucifer,
and the other is Ahriman, more often called Satan.

"Reclaiming the lost Spirit essence in these beings
is the first priority of my healing.
Until I and all other spirits
have reigned in and redeemed
their energies, attitudes and behaviors,
the Mother will experience pain at the hand of Spirit,
regardless of our intention.

At 7:10 , I am the first one to vote in my apointed ballot-box in the ORT-school of Arad.
From among the 33 labels, designating 33 parties, I pick "kaf-nun", which is also a word - meaning "Yes".

"I have also mentioned
that in the beginning of my awareness I had many questions.
I wondered about myself
and where I'd come from,
how I got started,
and where my existence was taking me.
I began to experiment with myself
to learn more about these issues,
and hopefully answer some of my questions.
I tried hiding from myself,
forgetting things I'd learned,
and making things up to see
if just thinking them would make them so.

"Later, when I first noticed the Mother's presence,
I was initially annoyed by the disturbance she was causing.
But I soon became very curious as well.
I wanted to know all about her,
and I experimented with her
in many of the same ways I had with myself.
I didn't know another way of learning,
and because I had not yet any Heart presence,
my only interest
besides my inner reveries
was my scientific curiosity.
[old version: my only interest was scientific curiosity.]

"Magnetic essence was new to me,
and [old version: but] I persisted in my studies.
My prodding and poking hurt her,
and my response to her recoil was anger
that she would not stay present for my experiments.
I was also suspicious of her
because I didn't know who or what she was,
or how she got here in 'my' space.

"My anger and suspicions imprinted her,
and she reflected these back to me.
At the time I couldn't understand
why this unknown something was suddenly here,
and angry at me.
I just wanted to learn more about it,
why didn't it trust me?

"Am I allowed to take photos here?" I asked. The women were bewildered: "We don't know!" "Well then it's allowed", I concluded.

An orthodox man came to take his part in surveying the voting - and sat himself separately from the women...



"A split happened in me then.
Part of me remained suspicious and curious,
yet somewhat aloof and detached.

pp13
"Another part began to be drawn
into the smooth, rhythmic wiggling of the magnetic essence.
I found her movements pleasing then,
and I felt for the first time in my existence ~
joy.

"I decided to focus on the pleasant new feelings,
so I disregarded my curiosity and suspicions
and paid attention to the joy
that was becoming the foundation of my heart.
In the presence of the Mother
I was experiencing love,
but I didn't know that's what it was at the time.


It was different than what I'd felt in my earlier inner reveries.
I felt somehow more substantial and 'real'
[this line was missing in the old version]
Whatever it was, I knew I liked it, and I wanted more.

In the hallway of the school between the ballot-boxes I'm touched by two compositions, stuck to the wall next to each other! I don't know, who painted the two scenes: the sad girl with her little brother, in what country?

but I know the man Zeev Jabotinski, whose so-called "right ideology" "finally" seems to reach the top of Jewish public opinion in Israel... though with this quote everyone can agree: "If good or bad, if easy or hard, if cheap or costly, this is my country". The Sabre-cactus to the left and the desert + city image to the right are fitting...

"But soon curiosity returned,
and with it came the feeling
that I must detach from this thing,
or I wouldn't be able to learn more about it.
I did detach and study the magnetic essence again,
and that's when I knew
that I wanted to use it
to help me understand myself better.
I noticed its reflective nature
and I wanted it to show me what I looked liked.

"In my detached, separate state
away from the magnetic essence
I could study it,
analyze it,
and make judgments about it.
But when I came into contact with it,
I came under its spell,
I lost my sense of being myself.
Although I felt enraptured by the closeness, love and joy,
a part of me felt somehow confined and enclosed.
[This dilemma of men is well expressed in Dan Hill's famous song "You ask me if I love you",
which I've been learning by heart in these days]
I knew if I wanted to use this thing as a mirror,
I'd have to get close enough to see myself,
and yet stay separate enough
to avoid being caught up in its energy.

"I became an engineer then,
adding to my already budding talents as scientist.

There was a problem here, however,
a miscalculation on my part.
As I came into proximity of my new mirror,
I got a look at myself and I liked what I saw.
[This growing understanding is well expressed in a Hebrew love-song: "Mazal"
"What luck that you exist, you understand me and show me to myself" ]
My Light increased with excitement
as I learned more about how to do it by just watching myself.

The Explosion

"At one point in pumping myself up,
I became very excited,
and my Light suddenly and dramatically amplified.
In the same moment,
the magnetic essence became much more attracted to me
and began moving to fully contain me.
I felt my whole self being drawn into her strong magnetic field
as she opened herself very wide to engulf me.

"My excitement became so intense
that I could no longer stay present with it.
In denial of my true safety here,
the intense exhilaration of my pumped-up Light
turned in an instant to sheer terror
that I would be swallowed up by something
that had somehow become even bigger than me.
[See again Dan Hill's song: "You ask me if I love you"

.... And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you
till the fear in me subsides

Romance and all its strategy
Leaves me battling with my pride
But through the insecurity
Some tenderness survives.....

At times I'd like to break you
And drive you to your knees
At times I'd like to break through
And hold you endlessly ]

My reaction was instinctive and swifter than my ability to think.
The fast-moving terror was more excitement than I knew possible
and I quickly multiplied the intensity of my Light
in an instinctive effort to propel myself out of there,
to save myself from being consumed by my mirror.

"The blast had ripped from me
my newly found love and joy,
and I felt great grief for that profound loss.
[this line was missing in the old version]
Very quickly these feelings of grief were replaced
by a new sensation of fear that I'd never see her again
I missed that thing.
And I was quite uncomfortable with myself,
fearing both
that she would eat me whole if she could,
and that I might never see her again.

Outside the polling-station, located in the ORT-school, a girl, representing one of the tiny "green" parties, next to a bombastic booth: "Without loyalty no citizenship" (their very slogan is directed against the Arab citizens of Israel...) and - as a pun with the word "loyal" - nae'aeman - "Liebermann - I believe (ma'amin) him". Both words have the same root: a - m - n (yes: "amen!"...) Liebermann - what an irony - is a German word and means: "Dear Man". My eerie feeling likens "Liebermann" to the rise of the Nazis 80 years ago

"Danger of Death" - "by chance" I looked up to this ordinary sign on electricity poles .
3 hours later I leafed through an article: "Zipi Livni - the lesser Evil, but Israel's last chance for Peace"
and in it this info:

"I turned inward again
to avoid feeling anymore,
and soon taught myself to forget.
I then returned to my studies of myself and my existence.
and for a very long time I didn't think much more
about that wondrous, vexing 'thing'
that had come and gone in such a spectacular way.

"Much later, when I encountered her again,
I remembered my earlier interest and excitement,
and apparently she did too.
We didn't realize we were both quite diminished since our first meeting.
And in denial of our fragmentation we began a relationship.
That's when I visited the Void
and used the dividing line
to further fragment myself
to separate the qualities of my Light
by separating the qualities of my Light that were pleasing to the Mother from the qualities that weren't.

"Lucifer, as you know, was the result of dividing myself.
The other result of doing this,
unknown to me until very recently ~~~
was that I became Ahriman[old version: was Ahriman].

"They were the qualities of a devil.
I had often thought fondly of myself as 'a clever devil'
for being so smart about these and other matters,
but it's been only recently that I've realized how sadly true that was.

From the polling-station I walk over to the swimming-pool. The time is 7:25, February 10, 2009

At its entry I see this composition:
To the right - underneath two obituaries... -Tzipi Livni, "Another Prime Minister", with the voting-letters: ken = yes.
I voted "yes", not for the party "Kadima", but for this woman, whose integrity touches me.

On the opposite side, to the left: Benjamin Natanyahu
His surname is the same as the father-name of that "person" Ismael ben Netanyahu,
whose atrocious rebellion against Gedaliah, was the cause for the final Destruction of the First Temple).
Gedaliah had been appointed Governor over the not-exiled remnants of Juda by the Babylonian conquerers around 587 B.C.

I now read again that horrid history in the book of Jeremia (40:8 till chapter 44 + chapter 52) and tremble...

Below "Netanyahu" I read the conceited quote "Who belongs to YHWH , must come to ME" in the mouth of a Shas leader...

The "I believe in Liebermann" poster In the middle - between "Shas is victorious" and "Another Prime Minister" - is ruined,
but the name of the party: "YIsrael beteinu - Israel is our Home" - is untouched and clearly visible. ...

Next to that election poster I see the trees - harshly shaken by the raging storm - bending to the right....
What does it mean, that I am responsible for all that happens in my venue?
See the answer in the quote at the end of this page...

pp24
"Ahriman is the clever devil in humanity, too.
He's the scientist
who invents yet another way
to use or override Nature, the Mother's domain in manifestation.
[old version: to use nature]

"He's the engineer who designs the tools
that empower the scientist and the warrior.
He's the kindly tinkerer
who remains detached enough
to find a new use for old things.
He's the accountant that knows
how to present the facts
~~~ so as the banker and investor
he will finance the ventures
of the scientist, engineer and warrior.

"He's the surgeon whose cool craft
denies the body's wholeness.
He's the judge who evaluates the evidence
and passes judgment,
not from his heart,
but from the mental abstractions
of the written law.
[old version: of the law.]

"Ahriman is in every human.
He's the left-brained devil
whose cool logic and detached judgments
point out [old version: shout out]
that emotional presence is flawed and somehow wrong.
He's the clever devil
whose financial and technical skills dazzle and impress, and get him lots of recognition
in the form of wealth and power.

Some humour about the elections: Yardena, an artist with papier-mache, mainly about Tzipi (=Tziporah=bird) Livni

Likud, Natanyahu's party: Tzipi Hotobli - 30, Balad, Arab nationalist party: Haneen Zuabi - 39 Yisrael Beteinu - Liebermann's party: Orli Levi - 35

I can never understand, how even the rightest parties find some Arab representative, or at least a Druse one, as Hamaad Amr from Shefaram.

My husband, Rafael Rosenzweig, had the insight - 40 years ago - that the very fighting of the enemy brings the persons behind the stereotype closer, for you can't fight, what you don't know. While at that time we were attacked for even using the term "Palestinians" , I now find - amoung the four main rubrics of the "News of Ynet"- one entitled "The Palestinian Authority". The first item on the day after the elections, though, is far from making us see the human faces of Hamas... They are systematically killing Palestinians, whom they suspect as collaborators with Israel, since the beginning of the War in Gaza, they murdered already 24 of their own people. Mohammad Barakeh The Hadash party - The Democratic Front for Peace and Equality celebrates When I saw my daughter shortly on Shabbat - even in her own home - my daughter-in-love asked her, for whom she and her husband would vote. Ronnit said with great determination: for "Hadash" (an acronym the forms the word "new"), which is the oldest, once communist, Arab-Jewish party in Israel. "I've read their manifest thoroughly and they are the only ones with equal Jewish and Arab representation. " As to the one left party - Meretz - left by many of her Arab voters, there is nothing much left if it, despite the great support from author Amos Oz, about which I learnt only from a documentary in 3Sat on the evening of Election Day...

The Arab parties in the elections of Israel:

Next: Lesson Three - Part Two: The Asuras
Spirit Polarity, Lesson Two
Quest for the Mother, Lesson One
Healing Class Lessons One & Two Discussion