I focus my experiencing and awareness on being
"a pioneer of Evolution in learning
to feel":
I let my Body vibrate and my Heart 'womb'
pain, shame, fear, boredom, powerlessness,
so feelings can >heal >guide>fulfill>evolve,
and ~~~ offer ~~~"goldmines"~~~ to us all!! "I
want you to feel everything, every little thing!"
A
R A R A T - H E A R T
A Vision about Peace
between the Desert Nations in the Middle East
and between Wo/Man and Desert Earth
I promised myself - at the
end of the last "Stage" -
to let my seed in the desert earth grow in the dark
and not expose it to the light of the WorldWideWeb,
before it would sprout.
I stick to this promise,
but a path has opened from a different end.
The path of "The Path".
This path I want to watch by sculpting its beginning.
I am new in Arad and savor my solitude, hardly knowing any grownup.
I've separated from my "partners"
on Rakhaf for the time being.
I'm focusing on Samira, her 7 children and Yahia, her husband.
Every second Wednesday I enjoy my four youngest grandkids
at my younger son's house.
And every Shabbat I visit my "Kingdom"
at the Dead Sea - for maintenance and bathing.
To both places I hitchhike to and fro, a chance for many new contacts.
But I'm not going out of my way to foster "contacts", be they
new or old.
My true old friends are "there", in the blink of an eye, if
desired or needed.
In
short - - - I am limiting myself to the utmost, for I need time!
Free time, lots and lots of time, free of actions, free of interactions.
Time to truly feel what I feel in every situation ...
Time to sense whatever I feel or think with Body...
and to awarely and lovingly accept, whatever I feel and sense,
and if a feeling or a sensation gets stuck [like: "I
shouldn't feel this!" "I need to get out of this!"
etc.]
to make it flow by breathing it, moving it, sounding it.
"If you have not already done so,
my
strong advice is
that you identify with
the most powerful and parental aspect of Deity in yourself.
Identify with Body in every aspect of your experience.
You won't go wrong ~
but you will surely come home,
and all the more quickly."
.......
"But one fragment of Deity,
one fragment of Self
is capable
of bringing all the other fragments together into wholeness.
One part of Deity, one part of Self is the Healer.
And fortunately you don't have to go anywhere else
to find this part.
Of course it is the human you are, it is Body. [old version: Of course it is Body.]
And Body is always 'here'.
Body is always the most present and available part of you,
and believe it or not, the most evolved."
Considering this self-limitation of actions and interactions,
it's all the more astonishing,
how some "Star-Children" are pervading my life more and more.
"This
awakening of the Star
Children involves ....
humanity's grand purpose in the Reconnection of All That Is".
This is Borris, so far
the only male among the "Star-Children".
I took his picture one night, when he came "to ask questions",
and to play music with me.
Until I met Tzippi, Gal, Dina, Meshi, Borris, and 5 1/2 years ago - in the Ein-Gedi
Fieldschool - Lior, then 11,
who asked to be "more intensely in my life,
I never occupied myself with the theory about
"Star-Children", though, in hindsight, I'm quite
sure, that some of my grandchildren belong into this "category",
and foremost Tomer,
with whom I experienced the joys
and the woes of a Foster Grandmother
for 4 1/2 months in 2002/3.
Even if the belief in such a thing as "Star-Children"
is just a belief,
I find it helpful to learn from the authors of websites, who share
this belief. For instance,
the predicament of "depression",
so familiar to me, is prevalent among my five friends as well.
Two of them actually expressed their relief and gratitude,
when I shared with them the
horrible feelings into which I "relapsed" lately.
"To be so incredibly aware during
this powerful time on the planet,
yet feeling or believing they are unable to physically reach out
and make changes in the world can be agony for a Star Child.
This is why many of them are opting to stay asleep
to who and what they are for just awhile longer.
...
They have one foot on this side of the Veil,
and the other foot ready to leap into the Multiverse. "
Some weeks
ago I found a message on my mobile phone: "The Star-Children
want to meet with you - Tuesday night at 9 PM." And there they "knocked" on my
almost always open door,
with a huge stem of an apple-tree plant in their arms.
There
is a story of four tree planting failures behind it:
THE NUT TREE 1977-81
For 16 years (among the 66 years of my life)
I was married and "settled".
We owned a house and a garden at Ramat-Hadar, 18
km north of Tel-Aviv.
People said, that my 21 bushes of roses were the finest in the
village.
But I was afraid to plant a tree,
intuiting that I would not be there to harvest its fruits.
So Shlomit Adler, my neighbor, suggested to plant my tree on her
land,
for surely she would not leave it as long as she lived.
So I piled up a little hill and planted and nurtured a Pekan nut
tree.
I knew it would take 4-5 years for the first nuts to ripen.
And indeed, when they DID ripen, I was not there any longer.
We had divorced, the house was sold [1981],
and I lived with my children in a small rented flat in Ramat-Gan.
Shlomit did invite me for the first tiny harvest, but
then we grew apart.
THE FIG TREE 1989
During the ten months "pregnancy"
with "Succah in the Desert",
I drove my mobile home to the Nature Reserve "The Lotz Cisterns",
close to the Egyptian border,
where I first imagined to realize my scientific model
of an SPS [Space-Purity-Silence] Desert
Hosting Business.
There was a guest, a man from the
ecological village Clil in the Galilee.
The roles we gave each others in
our "movies" during that week,
was not pleasant ...
In ordinary words: he felt hurt by me and couldn't stand me,
but since
I create my reality,
I must take responsibility
for having created him like that.
Then there came a moment of grace, of reconciliation:
we planted a fig-tree together at the entrance of the
ranger's cabin.
Later - a year, two years, three? -
the cabin burnt to the ground,
and the fig-tree with it, I assume...
It was never rebuilt, as far as I know.
I also heard that the man from Clil had died ......
During
our time at the Ein-Gedi Fieldschool at the Dead
Sea,
there was a young gardener, Jonathan, a troubled, insecure boy
of 18.
He was affected with Psoriasis (like Yuval, my angel at that
time),
not fit for the army, and hoping to find some healing at the
Dead Sea.
Yuval, the administrator, told me that I could ask for Jonathan's
assistance.
But when I gave him a simple order - to take away a heap of
palmfronds,
Jonathan got it all wrong, and I yelled at him.
Tamir Peleg,
my young "partner",
came along and confronted me quietly:
"Jonathan is not to be yelled at!"
Ashamed - I walked over to Jonathan and said:
"What did you feel, when I yelled
at you!?"
Stunned he came closer and we embraced.
From that day on Jonathan transformed and grew into being his
real self.
I must have told him once the story which
impressed me in my youth:
Someone asked Martin Luther,
the founder of Protestant Christianity in 1517: "What would you do,
if you knew,
that tomorrow the world would come to an end?"
"I would plant an apple-tree TODAY!"
For on my birthday that year (Aug.
15) Jonathan came with a gift:
an apple-tree plant.
I had already endeavored to plant a garden on the miserable tiny
slope
in front of my "Concrete-Succah".
All the friends of our "Circle" gathered and planted
the tree there.
An apple-tree above the Dead Sea....
Some weeks later I got the ultimatum from the owner of the Fieldschool,
the
Society for the Protection of Nature in Israel [SPNI],
that I had to leave the place by October 31.
My teaching people how to deal with feelings, was disturbing.
"But in order
to love Nature, "
I had said to the responsible man, people must first
learn how to love themselves.
If they do not know what to do with their troublesome feelings,
they cannot accept, not love themselves,
so how can they care for the Earth?"
"Maybe, there is something to what you say,
but this is NOT OUR POLICY!"
If you visit the Fieldschool today,
you won't find any Concrete Succah,
but two proper rooms for properly paying guests.
And no garden and no apple-tree....
[Addition
on Sept. 20, 2010:
Three star-children (this time one of them was Rotem, my granddaughter)
planted an apple-tree one more time,
on January 30 2010,
They even dared to plant a pear-tree,
- but this one bloomed and dried and died ...
The apple-tree survived a little longer and then too, dried and died...
And yet , what is important, that
the star-children are alive and thrive.. ]
Now, that I am truly "settled"
in this little desert-town,
without having to separate from the domain of my vision,
the Desert of "ARARAT"
my star-children came to plant an apple-tree,
which - insh-allah - will bloom and grow towards fruition....
like the apricot tree outside my window.
Five days later the Star-Children
and I set out for the Desert.
To create the first path for us to feel the Desert with our feet.
A path of 25 min. between the road Arad-Massada & Samira.
Desert earth,
devoted or rebellious
Desert wind, relaxed or tempestuous,
Desert moon, radiating or veiled;
Naked and pure is the desert earth
She conceives, she gives birth
to love and grace,
compassion of Wo/Man,
compassion of Wo/Man
towards him/herself.
1993
The
Creation of a path in the Desert
with the "Star-Children" of Arad
in the frame of "Thousands of Pathes in the Desert" a path of 25 minutes between the Arad-Massada-Road
to the home of Samira & Yahia
Accidental photos of Dina and Tsippi in October and November
2009
Dina with her friend at an army ceremony for her
brother at the Army Officers Base near Mitzpe-Ramon
With Altzheimer inflicted
mother Shifra
and dog Sanni
November 15, 2009
When Tsippi and I first met, Her mother
- hardly 50 at the time - was already inflicted with Altzheimer.
Since I myself took care of an Altzheimer sick mother, I felt, I could
help Tsippi and her family to cope, Though in my mother's case I knew I had
to bring her over from Germany and take care of her myself,
As to the mother of Tsippi I felt more and more, that she needed to
live in a home suited for her needs.
It was and is an incredibly difficult journey for Tsippi's father, his
son, his elder daughter and for Tsippi.. On February 7, 2010 - they all drove from
Arad to bring Shifra to that home in the center of the country. And this is what Tsippi wrote to me on
February 11, 2010:
On
February 4, 2010
Gal Mor suddenly knocked at my door
- after more than 8 months that we hadn't seen each other.
With her was Nurija,
from Thueringen in Germany
with a life-story as wild as that of Gal.
At one time during those 3 hours in my cosy castle
I happened to talk about Right
Use of Will
and to also show its symbol on my silvery chain.
"I met a girl named Tamah , on March
7, 2009,
who had asked a silversmith in India to create it,
but now took it off her neck and put it on mine,
claiming that it obviously was meant for me..."
"Tamah?" exclaimed Nurija.
"This is the name of the girl,
to whose hip-hop dancing class in Arad I'm going right now!"
Later Gal informed me, that it, indeed, had been 'my' Tamah.
"She asked Nurija, if you are wearing
the chain,
and when she told her, that you never took it off since then,
she radiated with joy!"
Dina visited me in my home at Arad on the eve
of March
8, 2010
When she told about her involvment in helping the 700 refugees
in Arad, mostly from Sudan.
and complained about the racism she encounters on the street, I looked
at the bright side of it:
"I see those unbelievably black people and
my heart jumps about their being with us:
It is another sign of humankind's
evolution and the near
quantum-leap !"
2010, April 4, Pesach
Starchild
Meshi Taib, sent to a few friends
[Addition
on Sept. 20, 2010:
Three star-children (this time one of them was Rotem, my granddaughter)
planted an apple-tree one more time,
on January 30 2010,
They even dared to plant a pear-tree,
- but this one bloomed and dried and died ...
The apple-tree survived a little longer and then too, dried and died...
And yet , what is important, that
the star-children are alive and thrive.. ]
