I focus my experiencing and awareness on being
"a pioneer of Evolution in learning
to feel":
I let my Body vibrate and my Heart 'womb'
pain, shame, fear, boredom, powerlessness,
so feelings can >heal >guide>fulfill>evolve,
and ~~~ offer ~~~"goldmines"~~~ to us all!! "I
want you to feel everything, every little thing!"
Now I am serious
(as if I hadn't been serious before... )
about creating the opportunity for enriching myself by getting your
input , encouragement and solace.
"We are glad! WE have been waiting
for you - both patiently and eagerly!"
It is about finally crystallizing
my communication concerning The Will.
I always hear myself saying - with uneasiness and frustration - something
like:
"You have to learn - as the world at whole - what has to be done
with feelings."
And as a first input I add:
" Feelings have to be moved physically - by breathing, sounding
and moving."
In Hebrew there are several - misleading - verbs for "to move"
and there is no verb for "to sound".
So I had to borrow and combine two other verbs : le- ba'abe'a
- to bubble, sparkle, gurgle (and babble?)
and le-
na'ane'a- to
shake, move, swing, shock, cause to tremble
But what I understood this morning
- and not the first time, alas! - was
that what I really have to mention before anything else, is
that emotions have to be evolved.
Am I not talking about the evolution of desert economy?
So how am I forgetting time and again to draw this parallel:
the evolution ot the desert and the evolution of feeling?
How can I be more exact , more clear in communication from MY side?
But also - how can I attract people at THEIR right time to listen
to this info
and not waste my time and energy
on communicating what they just won't grasp, leave alone apply?
Especially not the "spiritual" people. [I do not judge the grain of pain in this
last remark...].
"It may be, that you keep
forgetting the exact wording of your and our goal ,
because you yourself have not yet gone past the "handling"
of feelings,
as distinguished from 'evolving feelings'."
You rightly put the word "handling"
in quotations marks,
for isn't this insulting to you, the Mother, that I "handle you?"
"It definitely is.
What I want is to be cuddled and cradled, hugged and kissed.
It is true, - the hurtful aspect of the feeling will melt away if
vibrated by breathing, moving and sounding.
But if vibrating them physically is the only thing you do,
the feeling will be "gone" altogether, so there is nothing
to evolve.
"That's why loving Spirit
has to be there consciously, when you breathe, move and sound.
The cradling and cuddling, the kissing and hugging
should be there before, during and after the process of breathing,
moving and sounding.
"And this is, of course,
a matter of consciousness and intent and - if necessary - ongoing
release of judgments.
So you
agree , that in my process there is still too much wish of "getting
over with it", of "vibrating it away"?
" Exactly.
It is
like the concept of Israel's Ben-Gurion of "developing the desert",
'Make the desert bloom' really means: 'forget about the desert, wipe
it out!'
"There is much truth in this analogy,
but we suggest, that you stick to the image of cradling and cuddling
me,
while breathing, moving and sounding the pain, the fear, the frustration,
the feelinglessness.
" Yes , this is important ! the feelinglessness, especially for
the people in your life.
You heard from young G., that even at the age of sixteen she hardly
feels anything.
"So, if you teach them
to embrace and cuddle the feeling of feelinglessness,
there suddenly might come some real feeling into it,
which would be the first step of relating lovingly and compassionately
to the self."
If I understand
correctly, evolution of feeling would then mean:
that every feeling will have a sense of love, of feeling love to it?
"Yes, that would be the beginning and the end.
But then every feeling , embedded in love,
be it a desired feeling like satisfaction, or a painful feeling like
fear,
will also evolve by itself into a specific quality of feeling,
which cannot yet be put into words.
"We are all very much at
the beginning, you know."
Let me refer to my Desert Vision one
more time:
when I walk down the strenuous path to Samira
and enjoy the view - both soft and gorgeous - behind the vastly dispersed
Bedouin emcampments,
I envision such beauty of integration between desert, true desert,
- not "blooming" desert,
and human presence, be it in palmfrond covered cabins for the hosts
or in our pyramidal tents for the guests,
that it pains me, how no one else can envision this, leave alone help
to manifest it,
though it is so simple and could be done within a year or so.
"Yes, there you are right
to see the analogy.
"But has it occurred to you - it has , of course, quite often
in the past -
that your vision cannot manifest,
until the evolution of your FEELING
shows just this integration
of pure beingness - for this is 'Desert' , isn't it -
and human manifestations?
"And don't say, ~~~no!~~~
don't!
that this cannot be done within a year.
Start right now,
leave the computer,
dance and moan and wail
or find yourself a comfortable place in your so comfortable tiny home,
and cradle this fear,
your fear that the evolution of fear - and I don't say and cannot
say evolution towards"what" - is far away.
It's right here with your next breath and with loving Spirit, i.e.
consciousness and visualization, cradling the fear."
Oh, Mother.....
Addition on
2005_01_17
In that dialog I also uttered the request,
that people would be attracted to me who could grasp and apply the
message of "Healing and Evolving Feeling".
Instead of a verbal response I was confronted with an experience,
both joyous and teaching.
Two days ago, as usual on Shabbat, I was hitchhiking to the Dead Sea,
to get and give energy to my cave and my hot pond. [See www.empower.co.il/healingkiss>Noah's
Vision].
Hitchhiking in general , and from Arad to the Dead Sea on SHABBAT
in particular,
creates lots of opportunities to attract the people whom I need to
meet and who need to meet me.
One of the splendid encounters on my way back in the dark was with
a couple
who returned from a process of reconciliation between each other.
They allowed me to mention their first names , Diana and Israel,
and the nick-family name: Lev Sameakh, which means Joyous Heart.
They were on their way to Tel-Aviv, but agreed to stop in Arad and
have tea with me.
An intense process of getting to the roots of their difficulties with
each other followed,
and watching their response I could not help but seeing it as a fulfilment
of my request.
But!!! "as usual" (which is a judgment , of course, that
will tend to fulfill itself)
I overdid it! I gave much too much information and caused the process
to be much too intense.
The boomerang hit me a day after, - Diana called me close to midnight
, when I was already asleep.
From the distress she expressed I understood, that I had "as
usual"
gone too fast.
I responded as best as I could, trying again to tune in to what would
resonate in her inner knowing.
But there was no doubt
- the experience I had attracted as a response to my prayer: "Send
me people at THEIR right time!"
was NOT a fulfilment of my prayer, but rather a loving lesson.
After enough cradling and cuddling of my feelings (disappointment,
anger with myself, fear for Diana and Israel)
this lesson wants to be phrased like this:
"Let go of the judgment,
that your ego needs to control what people you attract into your life!
Let go of the judgment that you know what people grasp or how they
apply what they have to learn!
Let go of the judgment that there is such a thing as 'waste of time
and energy'!
Let go of the judgment, that the help that you want to give needs
to be 'effective'!
"Just be there with your whole heart and mind and body - and
in connection with us - in every single situation.
"If there will be a continuation or consequence to this situation,
it will be a new situation,
and you'll be there with all your heart and mind and body - and in
contact with us.
And if there won't be any continuation, that you can SEE, then let
it go.
Or- a third possibility -
if you feel that you have made a mistake
and desire to correct it
and have the technical possibility to do so
and believe that the other person is interested in hearing your correction
(!!!...),
then do it.
But learn not to put any pressure or expectation on either that other
person or yourself.
"Distinguish
between "desire" and "expectation"! Expecting something is projecting yourself
into the future.
This truly can be called 'a waste of time', isn't there so much to live in the presence
and so much to harvest from the past? [ seewww.empower.co.il/healingkiss
>"God has evolved">Puzzle Pieces Guide >pp1b Driving
Backward to Retrieve Goodness]
"To desire something is the Mother's very nature, her readiness
to create something together with Spirit,
like the canvas is awaiting the painting, or the flute is awaiting
the playing.
You DESIRE to heal yourself into wholeness and - by extension - all
of Creation.
In DESIRING this with all your heart and mind and body and communication
with us,
everything you do and say, and love and live, and feel and heal,
is a realization of your and our goal right now!"
)