I focus my experiencing and awareness on being
"a pioneer of Evolution in
learning to feel":
I let my Body vibrate and my Heart 'womb'
pain, shame, fear, boredom, powerlessness,
so feelings can >heal >guide>fulfill>evolve,
and ~~~ offer ~~~"goldmines"~~~ to us all!! "I
want you to feel everything, every little thing!"
Documentation of my "lekh-lekhâ
exercise" in October 2009 - scroll
down on each of these pages!
I
am now eager to re-arrange
the composition of my life
between savoring my life's harvest
and healing what hasn't healed yet
on the one hand
and delighting in new creation,
mainly in the situations
that follow from realizing my Desert Vision,
but also, for instance, in the community
of the "Star Children" of Arad.
Tzippi, then 16, came to "Rakhaf" exactly,
when we were erecting our tent on July 13.
Since then she visited at least once a week, by foot.
I never inquired where she lived.
It was only, when I told her on the phone,
that I had found a one-room flat in Khaelmonit St. 15,
that I learnt that she has been born and raised
in Khaelmonit St. 6 ...
My "Star-friends" in Arad,
Gal (16), teaching me something on my tape,
and Tzippi (17) and Dina (17) - a bad photo, but a memorable occasion:
receiving ovations after their school theater-play "Popcorn"
[Febr.2005]
In
the Desert two routine-routes have cristallized: "Rakhaf"
and "Samira".
(Routine for me is a vital need
- to balance my creativity drive!)
Towards
the end of November,
after two other storms and rains,
I forced Sa'ar to let me join him,
when he drove north on Grandma-Day.
Sa'ar is always stressed to the utmost,
and came to Rakhaf only once a week.
By the end of that trip it was decided,
that I either find the means
to buy a caravan
or "liberate" my former bus,
which was dragged away by the police,
when Tamir parked it above the Sea.
This was in July 2003,
and a still searing pain between us is,
that Tamir never did enough,
in order to get the bus free
from that garbage-plant,
to where it was dragged.
Ronnit
and Uri help me paint the roof of the bus. There
is no photo, to my regret, showing Immanuel's almost super-human
work.
A
flashback:
During part of the year 1985,
in which I converted that old army-bus into a mobile home,
I was invited to park in the greenhouse of my friend Yanina.
Immanuel, then a transport pilot in the Airforce,
used to come by bike from his base twice a week,
one hour to and an hour fro on a wild traffic road,
to work on the complicated carpentry in the bus.
Thinking of my son's incredible commitment then
made the sight of the vandalized bus amidst the garbage
extremely painful...
But the pain also helped to do my final "lekh-lekhâ"
from the bus.
Sa'ar with his stepson
Uri and his daughter Tamara in my tent
After 3
days of
feverish search
for an alternative,
and a call from
Immanuel,
which convinced me
that I had to leave
Rakhaf
not only because of the winter...
I found -
within 6 hours,
a place to stay
in Arad.
I told it Sa'ar
on the phone -
he was terribly
hurt...
A
rare moment of cooperation, when all four men were present,
Sa'ar, Hagai and Tamir,
and Oree, who had worked with Sa'ar from the beginning of Rakhaf
(July 6, 2003)
to install the new generator in a thief-proof manner.
The old generator had been stolen during a night,
in which I was the only one on Rakhaf and supposed to guard it....
This
is a typical Bedouin compound
in Biq'at Ha-Qanna'im, the Zealots' Valley.
It is a family of a husband with three wifes,
and their partly grownup, even married sons.
It was , where I made some harsh experiences
The "Oasis" in the background has been
the only Jewish hosting-business (for up to 1000 guests)
until Sefi Hanegbi started "DesertTime" "Zman-Midbar",
and Sa'ar started "Mish'olee Rakhaf" in summer
2003.
This family -
one woman, seven children -
lives in a tent, not in a tin shack like most others.
They are not happy about it...
Samira is from Bethlehem, an orphan married off at 16.
This means, she is a "fallaaha", a peasant, not a nomad...
And this means........................
One day I sat on a stone... alone...
when a charming girl of 11, Hathra, spotted me. She had the courage to approach me
and invite me to her home.
A week later I came - in the dress of a religious Muslim woman
lent to me by Fatmeh, since I had come to her soaked with rain.
I wasn't allowed to photograph Hathra, but allowed to give her
the camera. Hathra skillfully manipulated me into
"posing"... She did the same another time, when
I wore the dress I received in Sinai
in 1996
For the time being [2005_02_27]
Samira and Yahia [who guards the guards of the "Separation Wall"
near Ramallah and comes rarely home] are able to face the pressure of their neighbors
to drive me away. "You say,
she is a spy? with a camera and a computer?
who might put a Bedouin woman's photo on the Internet?
Give me proof of that! I only know she's teaching my daughter Hebrew,
and as far as I'm concerned , she is welcome in my home."
Of
what , then, consists my present work
on my vision of Peace in the Middle East?
I
CREATE TRUST
Let
me remind you.
My vision of Peace-through-Desert-Economy
stems from the understanding,
that only a gigantic common economic interest
can bridge the gap between these nations!
Because everyone has so much DESERT,
the interest will be
to develop technology and economy in the DESERT!
The governments will have to learn to ask the right question:
What is "The Comparative Advantage" of the DESERT?
Isn't it SPS, Space, Purity and Silence,
a resource desired much by many
who suffer from crowdedness, noise and pollution in the cities?
It's not agriculture or industry
that has to be imposed on the DESERT!
The DESERT calls us to e-volve the kind of hospitality I call:
"Re-creation of the Soul" (in
Hebrew: "nofesh
la-nefesh")!
I CREATE TRUST
I CREATE
TRUST
Even if one single Bedouin family would
exist today,
which would dare to be a pioneer of the Desert Economy vision,
it would be necessary that the Government would see its interest
in this.
We therefore met already in August in our tent
with the Israel Land Administration of Beersheva.
The meeting was organized and facilitated by the Arad Economic
Society.
Only to understand, that the time was not ripe...
I feel whole now with what I do.
What was that sentence
written to me in 1964 by Annemarie Mayer, [the wife of the
Christian teacher who had brought
me to Judaism,
may her memory be blessed]:
"Eine
kleine Erfuellung ist besser als eine grosse Zerstreuung!
Wenn Du den kleinen Kreis (your family) bis zu Ende fuellst,
wird er sich von selbst ausweiten."
"A small fulfilment is better than a great scattering.
If you fill the little circle (your family) to the end,
it will widen by itself.!"
Addition on September 30, 2009:
photos taken by my landlords' little son Amit (4 1/2) in my flat,
as if he had known, that soon every book and every object would have
to be taken out of the flat,
and about a third of the books and many objects would not return there
- see below!
Part of my computer above boxes from my time at Rakhaf, painted by me.
A wooden box - created by an uncle of Franz Rosenzweig more than 100
years ago.
Inside clippings of poems and passages, which have been nourishing me
in my life.
Above : a painting "Mother and Child" by my daughter Ronnit,
at the age of ten.
To its right and left: casettes of my novel : Alt-neuland 2003.
my
"DESIREs" on October 7-8 and on October 10-11 give an
idea of what I had to do.
When I came back to Arad and found an army of cockcroaches in kitchen
and toilet,
Ofir suggested that I take everything out (as if I would move flat
like my children recently),
then he would paint the ceiling and the walls and then spray against
the pest.
I knew, that after almost 5 years, longer than I ever lived in a flat
except during my marriage -
it definitely was time to check all the stuff that had accumulated
and to let go of much of it.
This scared me more than the physical work: the need to decide, what
to let go of.
It was easy in the case of books, since Jibreel had "by chance"
told me during his last visit,
that he was establishing a library in his Bedouin highschool at Houra,
and if I had any books.... "In the beginning any book will
do, so it will look like a library, later I'll take care of relevant
books."
To my surprise, about a quarter of my books were "relevant",
half of them in Arabic, half of them in Hebrew and English.
If not for the chance of that library, I would not have been able
to part from them.
Jibreel also took all kitchenware, I wanted to let go of. This made
it easy too.
He also wanted the Persian carpet, though he'll need someone else's
car for transport.
The biggest problem were the clothes, the huge towels, couple-sheets
etc. etc.
All the things, including the books, were given to me
- there wasn't one object, which I had bought .
I rarely see Tzippi nowadays, but exactly on
that Thursday she was in Arad and suggested to help me take out the
things to the veranda.
Lior's and Amit's photos of "the mess"
And then - 2 days later - I make an exhibition
of all the computer cables, sockets etc,
and also of 12 Volt lamps and vents, that belonged to my solar system
in Noah's
Cave.
See my
DESIRE on Oct. 9-10 Oree does not appear,
but Ofir gives some advice,
and my son responds to my SMS about two things: "Keep the electricity backup device,
but get rid of your laptop",
and as to most of the rest, I simply make the decision to throw
it away.
Jibreel was overjoyed, when he received the laptop,
and though he has electricity and no use for 12 Volt devices,
he will find users for them.
It sounds easy to tell this here, and yet - especially the solar
devices....
how difficult was it to find them at that time and to get along
with them...
But when the time will be ripe for my Vision about Peace through
Desert-Hosting-Economy,
there will be much better devices,
or maybe no devices will be needed at all,
according to "God's"
prophecy:
"Those of you who find enough of your wholeness
....
will eventually find yourselves on a nearly virgin Earth,
without the need or care of Ahriman's technical aids
as substitutes for your living, moving Will.
You will have full powers of manifestation
and easy, natural abilities at true magic."
Documentation of my
"lekh-lekhâ
exercise" in October 2009
- scroll down on each of these pages!
