2005_01_18
To YOU AS ONE,
SPIRIT~WILL~HEART~BODY
This is really something, Folks!
A few hours after I have completed the communication about "Evolving
the Will" ,
I find the following words in the new file: Godchannel.com/addiction
"Your will doesn't
need evolving so much as it needs freedom.
Smoking marijuana is not the problem.
[To the visitor: Forgive me for feeling
the need to state explicitly, that I never smoked anything in my life,
but I'm definitely not free of other addictions.]
Being addicted to it is the problem,
because it limits your freedom
and because it undermines your will,
making you feel weak and unmotivated to change."
and similar in .ruowdisc4
"When your Will moves, my Light
is drawn to you,
and in my Light is the awareness of the new understandings
that the moving Will essence is now able to share with you.
Will movement is related to emotional movement,
but is really quite different.
"Emotional movement is necessary
to clear away the logjam of backed up Will essence
that has been unable to move
because the good Light of acceptance,
Light which is free of judgments~~~
has not yet been there for her.
But emotional movement is not a substitute for Will movement,
it only clears the way for it.
"When the Will underneath the emotional
backlog is finally able to move in freedom,
additional emotional movement and an abundance of my Light are two
of the results.
Manifestation of the Will's desires is another.
2005_02_08
Dear Mother
It is all about accepting you, my feelings , and
you, my body sensations, with love.
"Yes, it truly is only and only about
that now for you."
I have limited my life to my kingdom in Arad
and even to the "outposts" - Rakhaf, Samira, my Cave &
Pool - I'm going as rarely as possible.
You also let me create beautiful reflections in my
exterior life:
all my family is fine, relatively.
And so are my friends.
There is nothing to really worry about.
"You want to say,
that you judge your worry about Tomer and Alon, your grandkids."
Yes!
But then I could let go of my worry
and of judging my worry.
I release the judgment, that I have to be perfect in acceptance all
the time.
"That's good RJ, repeat it:"
I release the judgment, that I have to be perfect
in accepting everyone at all times.
"You are mixing up 
accepting Tomer and Alon in their TV and computer addiction
and your acceptance of judging yourself."
I breathe, move and sound my pain about having blamed
them.
"Yes, do accept ME as feeling this pain."
But what then is the difference between feeling guilty
and feeling pain?
" OH - there is a big difference.
Feeling guilty is really blaming yourself.
Judging yourself.
"But feeling pain is just feeling pain.
"And when you feel this pain, you feel
compassion towards your grandsons.
And this compassion will evolve , until it encompasses all their behavior.
And their behavior will change once it is accepted by you."
But this still feels terrible, as if I was justifying
their behavior.
Remember
Me saying: " I honor all their
experiences as learning."
But if it hurts me? Doesn't it hurt you? Are you not overrun by thir
behavior?
"Often I feel overrun,
because I had a judgment that something is overrunning,
me or someone else.
"Like the wife who feels overrun when
her husband loves another woman.
Her and everyone else's judgment is, that she must have great pain
and shame and blame.
But you know the answer to that: accept his new love as enrichening
not only him but you.
It's the same with your grandsons:
accept their experience as one that is enrichening you.
This is frightening, where is the limit?
I could just as well accept Hitler's murdering.
"What would you say to someone who comes
up with this argument?
That first learn that one plus one is two, and then approach "Einstein."
"And now go back to your inner experience,
which today you tend to judge so heavily.
Yes, that's the real reason I am kneeling down here
on the computer to communicate with you.
Com-puter Com-municate - isn't this a joke!
"Yes! And a good one too!"
I feel not whole, not peaceful, but - maybe - unsatisfied?
"It's because there are too many stimulations
in this room.
And there is the judgment that you should utilize them all and all
at once.
Go dance and breathe and feel all you feel and enjoy feeling this
irritation."
This was a very good idea, Mother,
but then came the cough, such terrible cough, what is with this?
What is it expressing?
"You have time and space now, you are
alone, you don't have any duty concerning people."
Are you laughing at me?
this moment Tamir is sending an SMS, asking if I'm interested in seeing
him!
"He is not a duty, but someone towards
whom you can express
what is part of the many many things that still want to be coughed
out.
So don't return to your pills
just embrace the cough with all your love, heart, soul, spirit and
Body.
"And feel all you feel and embrace ME."
I'll do that , Mother!
