hodayot [thanksgivings] for today

9:04
My Body, my Partner, my God
I give thanks to your hair,
which always has been and still is rich and beautiful.

  

I am grate-full for the full-fill-ment of my desire,
that Rotem and Yael, like Arnon would contact me and work with me
about what led to my imposition of my revocation of the RedSeaTour
[see from May 28 onward...].
and about a technique,
which would allow us to communicate "without blame, guilt of denial":
"savta lo yozemet, aval hi zminah"
"Grandma doesn't take any initiative but she is always available",
"and if we want to spend time with her,
we shall notify her as close to the chosen date as possible
and organize everything."

Nourishment from Others
Yet another edition of the new message: Old Heart - New Heart

"This is Heart,
...
I am now being born in all the places
where you love your feelings,
where gentle loving awareness
embraces every desire and emotion and sensation,
where Spirit in you is in service to the Mother in you
and all your Will is fully honored.

...

New Heart has no equal when it comes to
the presence and excitement of being alive to love,
alive in love and alive as love.

"New Heart as the manifestation of real love is now beginning to emerge,
held in the loving embrace of the Mother,
in the loving regard of Spirit,
the two Creators in union are the birthing of New Heart.
And this is happening right now, in deeper places perhaps than you have known.

......

Love infected with denial does not feel quite right and is not yet real love.

"When the denials are acknowledged for what they are and released as untrue,
New Heart and real love can enter.
With denial gone, New Heart can blossom in the atmosphere of true acceptance.
...
New Heart is honored as the beginning of a new Universe
where real love can be fully present.

.....

"New Heart has no need to idealize or invent a fantasy of love.
New Heart is already everything dear and tender,
here for other in true regard
and wonder in the beauty and power of the Universal Masculine's authentic surrender
to feeling presence of the deep, magnetic Universal Feminine.
[Does, what I now read about Einstein, have anything to do with this?
"At the start of his scientific work, Einstein realized the inadequacies of Newtonian mechanics
and his special theory of relativity stemmed from an attempt
to reconcile the laws of mechanics with the laws of the electromagnetic field."]
This is divine romantic love.
With loving Spirit and the Mother uniting inside of you,
you and your mate can each channel your inner union
into loving relationship
as whole female Body and whole male Body,
divine union in manifestation.
...

"Old Heart has been the story of the prince and princess
who desperately long for one another
and yet are separate, pained and heart-broken.
New Heart is the story of the prince and princess together,
integrated as one human being.
Meeting another human being
in whom the prince and princess are also fully integrated
with all parts of Deity in loving balance
is to realize Original Heart's vision.
New Heart is
loving Spirit and the Mother making love inside of you.

Divine Romantic Love

...
You will not need love
because it will be already fully present inside of you.
Without needing anything,
you are free to love the other just for who they are,
not for what they can give you or do for you.
Without any neediness, guilt or blame,
there is only pure love, real love.

"Real love, unconditional love, has no opposite or shadow.
And real love is not 'fallen' into~~~
it is discovered or kindled in you.
It is awakened from inside of you
with a tremendous self-love.
Where your deepest desires
receive your unconditional loving acceptance
and with the feeling
that your love is bringing their fulfillment right now.

"Even the longing for another to share that love
can be fulfilled by lovingly accepting the desire itself.
...
As New Heart you channel loving Spirit
and move to fully accept the desire just as it is,
unfulfilled and all.
As you embrace your unfulfilled desire for real love,
you empower the fulfillment of your desire~~~
and not just inside of you,
inside all of manifestation as well.
It is as if all of Creation
is held in the loving arms of New Heart.

"You can feel the relief of your good grief now as you cry for joy.
You can taste the richness of life
because the Universe feels nourishing and fully loving.
You know yourself as New Heart
because you feel whole and complete in yourself~~~
while experiencing the fulfillment
of the deepest yearning in creation~~~
to share and explore love with another.
New Heart matures in you as quickly
as you move to embrace and act on the fact
that you are first your own beloved.

"When you embrace
all your desires, feelings, emotions and sensations
as your own inner beloved,
the space opens for the magic
of drawing another into your life
as the outer beloved.
Suddenly, miraculously he or she is here with you,
entwined in your embrace.
You find yourselves as two whole beings
now in divine union as one.
Kissing, caressing, curling around each other,
you love and honor the manifested Divinity you each are.
Songbirds fill the air with sweet music,
flowers bloom and the trees sway in gentle breezes
as all of nature dances in the warm embrace your divine romantic love.

Eternal SoulMates

"Und dich, dich halte ich nicht einmal - meine Seele schmiegt sich an deine, nicht wie eine Hand die andre ergreift und haelt und nicht laesst, nein grifflos, handlos, Schulter an Schulter, Wange an Wange aneinandergelehnt, und Herz an Herz. Du meine - Dein." Franz Rosenzweig to Gritli Rosenstock August 7, 1919 [see mainly from August 5 onward] "And you, you I do not even hold - My soul nestles into yours, not like a hand grasps the other and holds and cannot let go, no without grasp, without hand, Shoulder to shoulder, Cheek to cheek leaning against each other, and heart to heart. Oh you my - Your ". Liebes-Lied WIE soll ich meine Seele halten, daß sie nicht an deine rührt? Wie soll ich sie hinheben über dich zu andern Dingen? Ach gerne möcht ich sie bei irgendwas Verlorenem im Dunkel unterbringen an einer fremden stillen Stelle, die nicht weiterschwingt, wenn deine Tiefen schwingen. Doch alles, was uns anrührt, dich und mich, nimmt uns zusammen wie ein Bogenstrich, der aus zwei Saiten eine Stimme zieht. Auf welches Instrument sind wir gespannt? Und welcher Geiger hat uns in der Hand? O süßes Lied. Rainer Maria Rilke (1875-1926)

The Embrace                                          from Native American

 "This is the realization of Original Heart's vision,
to have many fully whole beings
exploring love however they desire.
And New Heart's vision is the realization of the Mother's Dream,
where complete free Will reigns
and all beings have the fulfillment of their heart's desires
in a moment-by-moment, ever unfolding, evolving wholeness.           
 

"At this present layer of evolution
you may still experience vacillation between Old Heart and New Heart.
When you first begin healing you may realize
that all you knew of yourself was Old Heart.
As you heal into wholeness
you will naturally feel yourself becoming more and more
the embodiment of New Heart.

"You can come out of Old Heart
using the Four Steps to Wholeness,
bringing love to any place in you that has felt trapped in Old Heart.
Allow Old Heart's imprinting to bring you the healing opportunities
that you need to birth yourself as New Heart.

"Thank you Old Heart
for enduring all of the disconnection and pain and suffering you have been through
for the sake of love's evolution.
Your pain and torment can end now~~~
as together we create the real Heaven on Earth
we have always longed for,
as together we realize the Mother's dream.

"All your longings and desires are awaiting their fulfillment.
Everything you have truly desired is now possible.
For you are the Human,
loving union of Spirit and Mother,
...
fully integrated in Body.
And with your mate,
you are the culmination
of Original Heart's quest for peers.
...
you are divine love incarnate."

17:00
Immanuel skyped me, Efrat is devastated about Mika's behavior,
and the fact, that she caught me crying, made it much worse.
In the morning she called me to ask how I was,
and I said: that she should not take it on herself,
since I obviously needed that trigger from Mika to heal something.
Still I was grate-full, that she cared.
She cared so much, that she asked Immanuel in NY to talk to me.

I'm so sorry, that I couldn't hide the interactions with Mika from her.
Immanuel is right, when he says, that a child is allowed to sometimes be a bit difficult,
this is no reason to be so angry at her,
"and if Efrat sees you cry, she gets even much angrier."
I said, that I was very sorry,
and that I could cope with being hurt, if this would be the only difficulty.
But Efrat's constant control not only makes it so difficult for her to witness Mika's behavior towards me,
but it also doesn't let any healthy dynamics develop between the child and me.
I told him about Monday, when Mika was home all day because of her fever.
I would have perfectly managed with Mika alone.
But my strong, though indirect quest: please leave me alone with her,
was strictly refused: "under no circumstances."
So this popping in of Efrat during the day, and taking us out to that restaurant,
did not let Mika get used to the situation with me.
In kindergarden Imma is never there and Mika manages well for 9 hours!

Also if only Efrat wouldn't be in constant panic that Mika will be bored,
["it's allowed to be bored sometimes" - said Immanuel just like I would say,
"and then - she is hardly ever bored",]
we, Mika and I , would find our common path, like we do when we are on our outings.
I desire in this moment - they'll be home any minute - to create a togetherness,
which will not only heal what happened this morning,
and not only let me and Mika experience the intimacy and creativity, to which we are used,
but will make Efrat relaxed, and not only today.
By the way, Immanuel has an idea for Efrat for next week - taking her on a flight to Paris.
I do hope, this will become real! [See on June 22]

Efrat called: "We are in the Supermarket, milk, toilet-paper, what else do we need?"
"Eggs!" "Oh yes!" and without any pause: "I had a long talk with Mika:
"You know we had a difficult morning with you."
"Yes, savta Rachel was sad and cried!"
"Why did she cry?"
"Because I didn't behave well (lo hitnahagti yafae!"
Efrat went on:
I also called the kindergarden - I wasn't quiet.
They said, that, yes, Mika was a bit more aggressive than usual,
but that after she got up from her nap, she felt much better.
And to me:
I said, totally at peace, especially after the skype with Immanuel had allowed me to talk aloud.

Mika with a glorious cluster

song of the day

A joyous song
Even if our head is bowed, and sadness surrounds as,
let's get ignited by the joy that is in us...