I focus my experiencing and awareness on being
"a pioneer of Evolution
in learning to feel":
I let my Body vibrate and my Heart 'womb'
pain, shame, fear, boredom, powerlessness,
so feelings can >heal >guide>fulfill>evolve,
and ~~~ offer ~~~"goldmines"~~~ to us all!!
"I
want you to feel everything, every little thing!"
K.I.S.S. -
L O G 2
0 0 8
Keep It Simple Sweetheart
Know exactly what you want, communicate clearly what you want,
then get out of the way, live and play, and let happen what
may! 7:25 I desire to convert the too-fast-motion
experiences of Yael's Bat-Mitzvah into "stills",
and savor those one by one, while being attentive to what I
missed because of the "too much".
I desire to have an easy travel to Arad, a long swim and a smooth
return into my home&garden.
I desire for Yael, so much loved & praised by everyone and
rightly so, to nourish the world,
I desire for my daughter Ronnit and my son-in-love Uri to heal
and grow with this child, Yael.
I desire, that Yael's "angel-mission" to make Ya'acov
and me meet, bear fruit in its right time.
image
of the day, Yael's
Bat Mitzvah:
She sings her parashah
"bamidbar" [Numeri 1]
from the Torah scroll
hodayot [thanksgivings] for
today
18:06 My Body,
my Partner,
my God
I give thanks to our usual vitality and vigor,
though after a 4 hr (relatively easy) travel + Postal Bank
and 1 hr.swim
and rest for 4 hours alternating with tending my garden,
so dry and dreary after 9 days absence [despite my landlord's
watering],
you, my Body, feel still so tired, and so does our "soul".
Having experienced physically again, what I often experience
in my mind,
how cumbersome it was for Ya'acov
& his wife to navigate his wheelchair,
while I could simply jump up, play ball and dance with Mika
in front of him
I cannot give thanks to your legs & hips without feeling
"guilty of injustice"..
.
I am grate-full for the great togetherness at Ganey-Yaar
in Kfar Daniel
with my children: Immanuel Rosenzweig, Ronnit Shai, Micha
Rosenzweig,
with my children-in-love: Efrat & Uri & Ra'ayah, and
with my grandkids:
Elah-Alon-Tomer-Mika Jonathan-Rotem-Yael-Itamar
Arnon-Ayelet,
with my stepchildren Joel&his wife Tova, and Dita&her
husband Gideon,
with Uri's family: mother Nirit, father Josi, sisters Ronya&Galia,
brother Dani
with the Shai's "Learning Community": Sarit&Avi,
Tamar, Na'ama and Athalia
with Yael's peers - i.g. Naeta -& educators - i.g. Deqel
in the Democr. School:
and with Yael's former tutor,: my "twin-brother"
since 1984:Ya'acov Hayat
Some things that pierced their way into my tired
being: Israel and Syria are about to talk!
And there was an especially relevant "Kulturmagazin" on
3SAT:
I learnt, that it's only since the 18th century, that one can talk
about a "family".
Before there were "households" with servants, grandparents
and other relatives.
And now again one can hardly talk about "families",
and not only because of "one-parent-families", "patchwork-families",
"homosexual families".
I also learnt, that Frank Sinatra hated the song, for which he was
most popular,
and which I only recently finally learnt by heart: "And
now the end is near...."
He sang it over and over again: "I
had a life that's full", "but can you believe him?"asked the speaker in that program.
I also learnt of the terrible problem concerning the aging of "Guest
Workers" in Germany.
They have been working and living in a foreign country, and now many
become demented.
I also learnt about the biggest univerisity of
Kinshassa , Republic of Congo,
and how not only lack of books etc.,
but constant strikes of the teachers interfere with the fierce wish
of the students to learn.
And finally: I got a surprising e-mail from a
person unknown to me:
Christa Rachel
Bat-Adam
2008/5/21, Andy <andy@ajw.net>:
Hello Joy
I am contacting you as I noticed the
name "Michal Biton"
appear on one of your pages.
Some 25 years ago, I had a wonderful
two-year romance with Michal Biton from Kibbutz Yifat
near Afula.
We have lost touch over the years, but I would very much
like to know if she is OK and how she is doing today.
If "your" Michal Biton was
originally from Kibbutz Yifat, could you let me know and
perhaps forward this message
to her for me?
Many thanks in advance for your time
and assistance
Andy Walters
Dear Andy,
I'm surprised that somebody finds
someone on my website.
And if this could help you find Michal Biton, I would
be happy.
To my regret, I lost contact with her since 1995.
She left "Succah in the Desert" by the end of
1991,
When I heard about her tragic story, I sent her some money,
but our plan to meet failed because of an event in my
life then.
She had become pregnant to a Sudanese
illegal refugee
while in Sinai,
As an Israeli she had to renew her visa every two weeks,
and when she had done this too often, she became a suspect
and the Egyptian one day refused to let her re-enter Sinai.
She gave birth to the child in Yifat and probably stayed
on.
All attempts to get a visa for her man
to enter Israel failed too,
and if I remember correctly ,
he was evicted back to Sudan by the Egyptian authorities
As I said, since 1995 I haven't heard of her, and I'm
sorry.
I hope she found a partner with whom to raise her child.
If you contact Kibbutz Yifat directly,
you may most certainly get info about her.
If you find her, give her and her child my love.
When searching
for "Kibbutz Yifat" I came across Yifat-Lost
amigos: Another Andy looking for a former
friend is mentioned there!
Christa-Rachel Bat-Adam
Driving
backward into the Future
It was exactly 17 years ago,
when the first young people came to Succah in the Desert
to ask, if they could work with me as volunteers.
Yacob Haziza was the first and Michal Biton the second.
I didn't have a camera at that time, and so there are no
pictures to cherish, and some of the memories connected
to them, are bringing up the painful lesson I had to learn
over and over again with my "partners": Giving
too much space to creative people caused them to override
and even humiliate me. I've since learnt: "Love means to be space for those
you love. a space in which they can grow. Love also means
to be a boundary for those you love, boundaries a
g a i n s t which they can grow!."
But my strongest feeling, when thinking
of 1991 is the fact, that only 17 years have passed since.
It could have been the time between 1918 and 1935.
The end of World War 1 is very vivid
to me in my daily reading's in Franz
Rosen-zweig's "Letters to Gritli". [see mainly
from Aug. 5 onward]
Even he, - not a patriot, though a Jewish (!) soldier in
the German army - becried the humiliation of Germany: among
the
"punitive terms of the armistice" forced upon
the defeated people by the Allies, mainly that Germany had
to deliver their war-prisoners, while the Allies would not
deliver theirs. [In Wikipedia
there is much about prisoners in WW 1, but I could not find
this "detail"! ]How lucky he was, that he died
in 1929 and did not have to experience how "The
Conditions " of 1918 produced the psychological "conditions"
which caused people, whose self-esteem had been trampled
down, to run after an abominable dictator, because
he knew how to m a n i p u l a t e them with
giving them t h e f e e l i n g
o f s e l f - w o r t h...
Arnon
reads in the booklet which accompanies the ceremony
Yael
between Uri, her father, and Ronnit, her mother, surrounded
by Yael's classmates
Yael's painting for the invitation to her Bat-Mitzvah
and for a booklet which was given to each guest.
She later talked about "Ha-masa shaeli"
- My Journey
- and nothing could illustrate this masa
better than this painting.
The Ceremony of Yael Shai' Bat-Mitzvah
Yael sings her parashah ("Parashat
Be-Midbar"), while Ayelet and Arnon (not
visible) stand at her side,
and her tutor Eyal ben-Eitan, who prepared her for her Bat-Mitzvah,
holds the microphone.
In a letter on May 11, I had conveyed to Yael,
how I understand this seemingly dry list of so many personal names,
so difficult to pronounce: those slaves from Egypt who were to become the
community "Israel",
were human beings, each one with an individual name, each one unique. [see more about this
on May 25]
I recorded Yael's singing of - and some sentences she and her tutor
Eyal said before - with a cell-phone. Though the recording was quite good, the
conversion to a format that can be heard here, diminuishes the quality
greatly.
1 The LORD spoke to Moses in the Tent of
Meeting in the Desert of Sinai
on the first day of the second month
of the second year after the Israelites came out of Egypt.
He said:
2 "Take a census of the whole Israelite community
by their clans
by their families,
listing every man by name, one by one.
3 You and Aaron
are to number by their divisions all the men in Israel
twenty years old or more
who are able to serve in the army.
4 One man from each tribe,
each the head of his family, is to help you.
5 These are the names of the men who are to assist you:
from Reuben, Elizur son of Shedeur;
6 from Simeon, Shelumiel son of Zurishaddai;
7 from Judah, Nahshon son of Amminadab;
8 from Issachar, Nethanel son
of Zuar;
9 from Zebulun, Eliab son of Helon;
10 from the sons of Joseph:
from Ephraim, Elishama son of Ammihud;
from Manasseh, Gamaliel son of Pedahzur;
11 from Benjamin, Abidan son of
Gideoni;
12 from Dan, Ahiezer son of Ammishaddai;
13 from Asher, Pagiel son of Ocran;
14 from Gad, Eliasaph son of Deuel;
15 from Naphtali, Ahira son of
Enan."
16 These were the
men appointed from the community,
the leaders of their ancestral tribes.
They were the heads of the clans of Israel.
17 Moses and Aaron took
these men
whose names had been given,
18 and they called the whole community together
on the first day of the second month.
The people indicated their ancestry
by their clans
and families, [no:"by
the number of names"!]
and the men twenty years old or more were listed by name, one
by one,
19 as the LORD commanded Moses.
And so he counted them in the Desert of Sinai:
Jonathan's fantastic composition
played by him and his sister Rotem
Take it slowly, the time
the world will still wait for you outside,
take another snuff from the time
two minutes before sobering up.
To become addicted to the heart running wild
to imagination bursting
to happiness which touches
the depth of the pain.
You will still discover the world
if you want or if you don't
there is still time to change
from one end to the other
If love hurt you yesterday,
perhaps tomorrow it won't hurt,
If the tears still run without a sound
at their end will be a broad smile
To become addicted to the heart run wild...
Itamar, Yael's brother, plays the role
of the "toffee-thrower", a tradition at Bar/Bat Mitzvahs.
But his little speech he wants to give while being seated!
Mika
was a bit disappointed.
Since she wouldn't understand the term "Bat-Mitzvah",
she was told - for days on end - that we would go to Yael's
"birthday".
Even when we left the place, she asked: "where
is the birthday?"
And sometimes she couldn't fit into the many mostly older children.
As usual this worried Imma much more than Mika.
Here, in any case, she is seen dancing with joy,
at first holding hands with Ayelet, her cousin,
then with girls of Yael's class (or
"age-group" as it's called
in the Democratic School, where each pupil chooses what s/he
wants to learn), Most of them were known to me
from my Bible Workshop,
but not to Mika.
It was sweet to see the caring of the big girls for the small
one,
and the trust of the small girl in the big ones.
Both, mother above
and daughter to the right,
seem to have great fun
This little pond enchanted me, when I finally
had a moment to become aware of it.
Later I learnt, that it was to be blamed for the mosquitos which plagued
Efrat.
As to more
of the experiences&images of this evening, see
May 23
