The Purpose  of   HEALING - K.I.S.S. - as stated 12 years ago - was and is   to help me and my potential P E E R s  "to HEAL ourselves into WHOLEness, and - by extension - all of CREATion!"

Intro to Healing-K.i.s.s. 2001-2013 and Overview of its main libraries [If you look for a word on this page, click ctrl/F and put a word in "find"]

I focus my experiencing and awareness on being "a   pioneer of  Evolution  in  learning  to  feel": I let my Body vibrate and my Heart 'womb' pain, shame, fear, boredom, powerlessness, so feelings can >heal >guide>fulfill>evolve, and ~~~ offer ~~~"goldmines"~~~ to us all!! "I want you to feel everything, every little thing!"

MY INTENTION and PLAN for TODAY

Know exactly what you want, communicate clearly what you want, then get out of the way, live and play, and let happen what may!
6:40
I desire to learn what I think is the lesson of the cellphone - smashed by a chain of hazzards:
-- to finally awarely cope with my huge resistance to tiny technical impediments or "hitches",
for which I now discovered the fitting English-French term "contretemps", i.e. "against time",
It seems to point to an exterior event which "messes up"  m y   p l a n   w i t h   "m y   t i m e" ,
I'll train in feeling, moving, accepting the resistance and then converting it into excitement/
Isn't EXCITEMENT - together with Full-Fill-ment - a Condition for Heaven-on-Earth-in-Body"?

image of the day

hodayot [thanksgivings] for today

7:23
My Body, my Partner, my God
I give thanks, thanks, thanks to  YOU  for sparing me any "contretemps",
be it an illness, an accident, a wounding or even that fungus on my tongue,
which would force me to go to a clinic in Arad or a checking in Beersheva,
or worse -to a hospital or a prolonged treatment there or in big Tel-Aviv.
I want this grate-full-ness to flood me as the very first urge and reaction,
when my "Higher Self" finds it necessary to stage a technical contretemps!

 

 

I am grate-full now .... for having staged the smashing of the cellphone
and for having done so in such a dramatic-funny way.

I am even grate-full for the "enormous" "waste-of-time" it took me,
until I reached the decision to travel today to the "Service" in Beersheva
and not postpone it till "Shoham" May 27 in order to take the car to Modi'in.
[See the sculpture of a former "Orange Cellphone Drama" on Febr. 13]
I am grate-full to the sudden waft of wind which penetrated through the tree - with its now ripened apricots - right through the window behind it.

Finetuning to my Present



While there are days on which I don't speak with anybody
{as to the people in the pool, I lower my eyes to avoid contact),
today there occurred an unsual series of short interactions:
Just before I left for the morning pool and for Beersheva and "Orange",
Lior knocked at my door: "Can I come to you?"
{Later I understood, that schools were closed because of Lag ba-Omer}
I went with her to her father, my landlord, and told him about the phone.
"but if it's important, I can postpone my travel for 2 hours!"
"No, no, I'm home, Lior just wanted to be with you."

Outside my garden I saw one of the daughters of my neighbors
getting into her car.
Spontaneously I asked, if I could come with her, "so I can know you a bit".
I had once talked to her religious sister, but never to Keren nor to her kids,
whose names - Yarden and Itamar - I often hear, when their grandma calls them.
Today Keren needed her mother to take care of them because of Lag ba-Omer!
I would have reached the pool just as fast on my usual path through the wadi,
but I deemed it important to do some P.R. with my neighbors' family.

At "Orange" in the "Big" Center of Beersheva "Julia" had to deal with me.
When I complained, how inconvenient it was to come here from Arad - twice,
['Orange' will soon have a service station at Arad, she promised]
she said: "I too lived at Arad",
"So why did you leave? Because there is not enough 'action' there?"
She laughed: "because of that too, but the main reason was..."
she hesitated:
"the traveling among people who are not us!"
She meant the Bedouin who live all along the road from Arad to Beersheva.
I looked at her and she added:
"there is much noise and sometimes violence.."
I tried not to judge her.
After all I rarely travel in the evening after "Orange" closes...

In the bus to Arad I sat next to a man
whose "music" was loud despite his earphones.
Since I didn't have the courage to ask him to turn the volume down -
I moved to another free seat, not realizing that the man's upper body was naked.
I admit, that I feel disgusted,
when a man bares his breast in unfitting environments.
If this was not enough, the young man with all his tattoos longed to talk to me.
He showed me the downside of his arm: "Man is a wolve to man", in Latin.
He was surprised that I could read Latin, and I said, that I didn't like the saying.
He claimed that he understood it as "people have to come together."
I hinted, that I wanted to read and not talk, and he apologized,
but later he started again:
"How do you say in German: Mother I love you!"
He traveled to Arad to see his mother, - his family came from Russia,
but from an area, where in his mother's childhood German was the language.
I decided to succumb to his desire for communication
- after all we were already close to our destination, Arad.
I said, there was a colloquial way: "Mama (or Mutti), ich hab dich lieb",
but no, he wanted the literary expression : "Mutter, ich liebe dich!"
He practiced for a while to pronounce the "ch" in a German way,
and then he quoted a German poem, he had learnt at school.
"What does it mean?" since I couldn't get two of the words the way he said them,
I couldn't tell him the meaning.

We arrived and parted - I walked to the noon pool and from there - home.
I went straight to my landlords'. Lior and also Amit were outside the door.
"I'm back, the children are invited now", I said to Ofir,
and gave little Amit a ripe apricot from our tree.
[Lior: "Amit likes fruits", indicating that she doesn't)
But the children were already on their way to their grandfather in town.

After 2 hours I had to again turn to Ofir, this time for my own cause.
"Can you help me? My TV doesn't work!"
When he couldn't fix it, he promised to come later and did so.
While consulting with a friend on the phone in my presence,
he clicked all kinds of buttons, plucked cables in and out etc.
and suddenly the TV worked.
"I've no idea, what I did", said Ofir.

All these interactions were short and seemingly with no deeper meaning.
But then I initiated a communication myself, one I had dreaded for some time:
In planning the Red Sea adventure with Yael
and the two "friends" I had allowed her to invite,
Arnon, her cousin, and Rotem, her sister,
I had played with the idea, that we could sleep in the house of Ilana Offer,
the painter, who had borrowed me her address while I lived in my bus in Eilat.
Without an address I couldn't be a citizen of Eilat
and without being a citizen of Eilat I couldn't enjoy the priviledge of cheap flights,
which were paid for me, when I worked as a German reciter for Shosh Rotem.
[Thank you Shosh, wherever you may be now, for your gifts to me:
as a voluntary cook in Succah in the Desert,
during a critical weekend when I had to be absent (1991?),
and in 1997, when you gave me this temporary job
of reciting the text for a computer kids game in German
at a penniless time, when I begged for food at the army-base next to my bus .
By the way, it's this place, where I want to snorkel with the three grandkids..]

'Ilana must be close to 80 by now, is she still alive?' I asked myself and hesitated.
I always had what I call a "telephono-phobia" and coped with it,
but to call Ilana - after 9 years of no contact whatsoever???

I called and on the on hand it was easy: she was right there on the phone.
On the other hand there was somebody else "right there - by chance":
Sefi Hanegbi and Efrat Sar-Shalom, his partner, next to him.
Efi, who once had written me such a lovely dedication into the book
"The Only Planet of Choice",
was spared the embarrassment of having to talk to me, but Sefi wasn't...

I got his stunning news:
"When my son, whom his mother had raised so far, became Bar-Mitzvah
I thought it was time to take over, and so we moved to Eilat.
I'll sell "Zman Midbar" ("for how much?" "Around 4 mill. dollars"...)
My karma is to create and set up new things, not to manage them."

The coincidence was even more stunning:
They had met Ilana only recently
and then rented the flat in which I wanted to lodge with the kids!!!
After some thinking, I called Sefi, whose number was given to me by Ilana,
He responded: "Yes, Rachel?"
"How do you know, it's me?"
"You number is still in my phone!"
I asked as cautiously as possible, if we could lodge in their flat.
- since he and Efi would go to Germany during the time of our Eilat-trip.

I did my best to help him tell me in a roundabout polite way: "No!"

The relief I felt surprised me.
After all - I had wanted that space!
and ~ ~ ~ ~ wasn't the meaning of that coincidence,
that Sefi, Efi and Rachel should heal their relationship, maybe with Ilana's help?

Now I knew that obviously the opposite was true!
"You cannot avoid encountering each other again and again!
But it is not the time to heal, what part of you avoid to feel!"

Closing this "Finetuning" to this day's interactions,
I'll also mention the e-mails from Arnon, from Rotem, from Gabriele,
and the non-personal ones from Lutz Goerner
and the latest news from the Era of Peace website [2013:"not found"]

While walking from the morning-pool straight to the bus-station,
my head buzzing with "orange"...
I met this lovely pair of brother and sister - in orange!
At the bus-station I enjoyed these Ethiopian girls
And of course, my orange buzzing head couldn't help
discerning the emblem of our "Metropolitan" bus company.

A Bedouin woman in the bus helped me to get off at the right station,
and about 3 different people showed me the direction to "Orange".

Rotem with her father Uri

Nirit, Uri's mother, a psychotherapist by profession,
who also gave birth to four children.
"See, we both are dressed in black and white!"
for starting a "real" talk didn't make sense.
We hadn't seen each other for many years.
She noticed it too: "Yes, black and white!"
I forgot to add:
"Mika in this case would make your and my dress touch
and say "le-chaim"- as if the similar dresses were wine-glasses. "
Oh now, in writing this, I remember,
that the next sentence, Nirit said, was indeed that:
"Let's drink something" , and led me to the glasses.
I even took one, though I only like sweet wine.

Ronyah, one of Uri's two sisters, once my son Micha's girlfriend for 3 years,
with her daughter Sahar

Ronnit and Atalia
her neighbor and friend,
also a social worker ,
to whom I owe
my material "abundance",
since she was the one
who - in 2001 - informed me

Two women in the "Learning Community", Na'ama and Tamar.
Since the funeral of Moshe's father took place in the afternoon,
only Na'ama, his wife, came to Yael's Bat-Mitzva, and only for the ceremony.
I could comfort Na'ama with the same understanding,
which I had conveyed to Ronnit after that father died the morning before:
"How miraculous - this flow from escorting the dead father
to escorting the girl who celebrates her adulthood,
what a sign for the future, that both occurs within a loving community!"

Missing the feeling of Full-Fill-ment?

Ya'acov in his wheel-chair and his wife Orit.

Is there a future for me and my "twin-brother"?

See the pretty images with Rotem and Yahel,
one of the twins of Yaacov and Orit