I focus my experiencing and awareness on being
"a pioneer of Evolution
in learning to feel":
I let my Body vibrate and my Heart 'womb'
pain, shame, fear, boredom, powerlessness,
so feelings can >heal >guide>fulfill>evolve,
and ~~~ offer ~~~"goldmines"~~~ to us all!!
"I
want you to feel everything, every little thing!"
K.I.S.S. -
L O G 2
0 0 8
Keep It Simple Sweetheart
Know exactly what you want, communicate clearly what you want,
then get out of the way, live and play, and let happen what
may! 8:15 I desire to understand what
I should "do" with the avalanche of war memories,
which rushed down upon me even after Memorial&Independence
Day when I exposed myself to TV. I desire this morning to complete
the pages, which reflect part of this renewed war awareness,
and then to be free to perceive the beauty in people and the
world when traveling to Shoham
and to run and hug my granddaugther and daughter-in-love - with
love and laughter
image
of the day:
from "Ha-sippur ha-amitee" "the real story",
yesterday night: Netiva
ben Yehuda
about death and killing in the war of
1948
hodayot [thanksgivings] for
today 8:42
My Body, my Partner,
my God Having learnt that 750000 in Israel
- i.e.10 % -are deaf or partly deaf
I give thanks again to the functioning of the complex system
of our ears,
- being spared even a casual infection since I no longer immerse
them in water.
I am grate-full that neither I nor
my children had to experience
what those now 80-90 year old authors and poets of the 1948
war told
during the 10 minutes I could bear their heart-wrenching sharing
the pant-peeing fear, the powerlessness, the
digging of graves before battle,
and seeing "the friends
at your side - killed while you weren't -
and the dead ......whom you ....did" I
heard Netiva Ben Yehuda say, "ha-harugim shae... asita.......".
I sob.
I'm grate-full that my desire on Shabbat
was full-filled;
It was a good togetherness at Shoham: father and son worked
for 4 hours
to paint the piano, which had "come
home" last week...
21:30
It's about time, that I report another "beads&berries
story"
[see the images of the airport trainstation on
Febr. 7]
I haven't screamed so loudly and so much
in a long time.
The poor taxi-driver - he was the only one who couldn't avoid hearing
me.
I tried to win him over to grant me some understanding for my logic,
or at least some compassion for what I had just gone through,
but he felt pissed off from the beginning and nothing could melt his
feelings.
He was a very fat and ugly man and most likely didn't love himself,
nor enjoy his boring job, leave alone dealing with hysterical clients
like me,
so why should he be won over by me to me?
I left Arad an hour earlier than usual,
since it's the day of Efrat's deadline at her newspaper,
and she on the one hand could not fetch me from the airport station,
and on the other hand needed me for Mika after kindergarden.
If the train would have been on time, I would have managed alright.
As I've told, the train from Beersheva no longer passes the airport
station.
I've to travel further north to Tel-Aviv-Haganah
("haganah"
was the name of the Jewish army before the State of Israel...)
and from there to take the train south [to
Modi'in] and get off at the airport.
At "Haganah" there are supposed to be 7 min. between arrival
and departure.
The arrival was in time, but on "my" platform the train
was headed for Ashkelon.
I asked people, then officials, then the manager upstairs.
He said: "Hurry down, the train
will come after the one to Ashkelon."
But the next train was to Beit-Shemesh, not to Modi'in.
In the meantime phone-calls from Efrat etc. etc.
When I finally arrived at the airport station,
I ran up to the second floor - not easy through all the crowds.
But the bus to Shoham, which goes only once an hour, was gone.
Efrat begged me to take a taxi, - she would pay.
It wasn't about paying, it was about finding a taxi.
When I discerned the taxi station, there was such a line,
that I screamed above the heads of everyone: "Where can I get a taxi to Shoham!" People weren't enthusiastic to help such
a hysterical woman, of course,
but finally I understood, that this station was for travels booked
in advance.
I had to go down to the first floor again, through all the crowds.
If there would have been at least an "old-fashioned" staircase,
but no, one must squeeze into two escalators, crowded with people,
no way to pass them by. [see
the beauty! of escalators when they are empty]
I found the taxi station and again some eight people were before me. "A taxi to Shoham, NOW, please!"
As so often - a little quarrel occurred between two drivers,
who both claimed it was their turn.
The "right" driver pointed to his taxi,
but was in no hurry to sit in front of the wheel and drive.
I was very well aware of my hystery and my anger about the lack of logic :
If public transport is on the second floor,
so why is the taxi transport on the first floor?
And if so, why isn't this made clear in any way?
Why do I have to get mad until I find out?
Ah! right now I suddenly understand:
Perhaps someone's economic interest is,
that people who come out of the trainstation
will only find expensive taxis?
As if saying:
"If you want to have it cheap, madam,
then move your ass, get to the second floor!"
The loudspeaker of the train, by the way, had apologized as usual: "We are sorry for the inconvenience
caused by the delay."
As if they had any idea about the personal "inconvenience"
for even one single person like me , and the other people connected
to this.
When I finally approached Shoham, Efrat said, I should go home,
while she would fetch Mika from kindergarden.
I put the key in the lock of the flat and heard Nella jumping like
mad.
I opened and waited outside, knowing that she would pee with excitement.
Moreover she had been locked in since 8 o'clock in the morning.
I put my things next to the door and before even entering,
I took the leash to walk Nella - before Efrat and Mika would come.
It was then, that I relaxed completely and enjoyed these two sights:
The contrasting colors of the two trees next to the front-side of
"our" house,
and the play of light and shade between the young cocus-palms
and the pretty composition of walls and stairs in front of the neighboring
house.
Mika and Efrat welcomed me most joyously.
Efrat even said, some time later: "It's good to have you in the house again.
You'll stay over the weekend, of course??" Re-checking my pilot
son's flight schedule -
arrival on Friday morning, departure on Shabbat evening -
I realized that I had made a mistake in telling my landlord,
- who takes over the watering of my garden in my absence -
that I would be back on Thursday.
I'll miss the pool and the geranium's May blossoming But: "Yes,
I'll stay over the weekend."
Having packed the usual equipment for our
outings,
Mika and I jumped down the stairs and walked into the direction she
chose.
It was the little, intimate playground,
where on last Grandma Day the Quartet had "traveled
to Space",
and while doing so - ruined the little merry-go-round. "Does it work?"
asked Mika, when we approached it.
It did, though with difficulty. As I said last week:
she now is more interested in making things work,
like carousels, swings and slides,
than making use of their purpose.
We had great fun for almost two hours,
the two of us alone, but also with other children and their parents.
Since my participation in almost every adventure was demanded by Mika
(and also by my responsibility that she would not hurt herself),
I had no chance to take photos,
except once, when she moved the carousel from the outside,
while two smaller kids were sitting on it.
She found a very long flexible leaf
and wound it around her body like a girdle.
I helped her with the loop.
Later we found another even longer leaf.
She wanted me to make two wreaths,
one for her head and one for mine.
Then she sang the Hebrew equivalent for
"Happy Birthday", asked me to dance
and danced herself.
The rail which guarded the playground,
became a challenge: "I wan't to go out to the road!"
After some inquiring I understood,
that she didn't mean
to endanger herself in the traffic.
She wanted me to help her climb the bars
and jump down on the other side. "But how shall I get there too?"
"You can climb and jump ," she said.
Since some time before I had gone along
with another crazy demand,
to climb up the ladder of a - short - slide,
stand on top of it next to her, hold her hand
and walk/jump down the slide together,
this imposition wasn't too unrealistic.
Still, I managed to run around the rail
and meet her on the other side.
She laughed with delight.....
Mika,
my 10th grandchild, was born on Dec.20, 2005.
Since the Hebrew language [safaa
or lashon] of her "tongue"&"lip"
becomes ever more complex and rich,
I'll begin - from this day on - to tell
"Hebrew Stories about Grandma's Growing with Mika",
Hebrew
Stories about Grandma's Growing with Mika
After Mika was in bed and Efrat went back
to work,
I wanted to open TV, believing that I would be too tired to "work".
But neither the TV in my room nor the TV in the living room would
open.
This was healthy after so much, so intense input via TV during the
last days.
And since I've still space left on this page according to the
rules of the kisslog game,
I'll allow myself a virtual journey around the planet with "webshot"
images:
View of Evisa, Corsica Island, France
Mount Cook at Sunset, New Zealand
Cathedral of Saint-Nazaire, Languedoc, Rousillon, Frances
Natural Grandeur, Glacier National Park, Montana
Lower Lewis Riverfalls,Giffort Pinchot National Park, Washington
Rice Terraces, Bali
Arc de Triomphe at Dusk, Paris, France
Church Detail, Santorini, Greece
Pieniny, Kluszkowce, Tatra Mountains, Poland
Double Rainbow
Historic Dubrovnik and the Adriatic Sea
Rovigno, Croatia, Adriatic Sea
Secret Cove, Tahoe Lake, California
Genoveses Beach, Cabo de Gata, Natural Park, Andalusia, Spain
song of the day Once more
the song, with which I've fallen in love,
and which I recorded and edited just now (22:00)
"I have no other country, even if my land is aflame
Just a word in Hebrew pierces my veins and my soul -
With a painful body, with a hungry heart,
Here is my home.
"I will not stay silent because my country changed her
face
I will not let her get away with it, I'll remind her and sing
in her ears
until she will open her eye"
cl
