Arad, September 16, 2009 - continuation
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Elah
before the rehearsal of the nightly show "WOW"
in the theater of the nine hotels of David Lewis' Isrotel!
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A
sculpture in Hebrew about part of my experience: Elah
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(2)
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Elah becries to have no friends in the international
band of artists,
of whom most even don't talk English.
But here she meets Dina, the dresser, an
Israeli woman.
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(3)
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(4)
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During the show cameras were confiscated ...
But in the morning I wanted to "have" them both:
Elah and Eilat
- without describing what these two names imply ...
Arad, September 16,
2009
I'm digesting my experience not in a linear
way...
Maybe, my humility,
for which I prayed so much at the age of ten,
prevents me from accepting my greatness.
"I
know your humbleness, I know your humility,
but I'm not letting you get away with anything less
than accepting the excellence, which you deny."
(1987, Workshop "Joyspring")
Reading the pages about "petitioner"
and "partneror"
and after what I said to Nimrod concerning his teacher:
"Please, take her into your womb,
viewing her from the perspective of her drama's script:
obviously wanting to learn through very hard lessons,
to heal her ego"
I must look at this "humility
and humbleness" once more.
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I was told already 30 years ago, by Mona
Yahia:
"I've never seen a human with so little ego
like you"
and by Nimr
Ismair :
"Why do you always retreat from your great
ideas,
whenever someone else voices the tiniest of ideas,
often without the slightest intention to realize them"
I can see this more clearly now,
when I complain about all the "spiritual" messages,
which are flooding the planet & reach me via e-mail ,
that they are all "missing and lacking" this and that,
-mainly, that "emotions have to be moved by Body",
so they can heal, evolve and fulfill their role of guidance.
Why do I complain, even feel deserted
by "them"?
I keep believing, that others are wiser than me,
and that therefore "they should know better".
I now take responsibility for me "being it All"!
for unless I accept this "excellence",
they cannot become excellent either.
[see the (Hebrew_ cedar-song:
If the cedars will rejoice in their hight,
the mosses on the wall will raise their heads.
If the cedars will love themselves,
the mosses on the wall will recognize their worth.]
I can finally feel, what "A
Letter from God to Those Doing the Healing Work" predicts,
"Those of you
who are soon to become whole
need to know
that all you have dreamed will come to pass ~
and much, much more.
However, there is a point
where you will need to take a huge risk,
to make the leap of choice ~
to embody divinity,
and all that this implies ~
or die trying to avoid it.
"The terror of truly becoming who you truly are,
and the terror of that choice ~
more terror than you have yet known,
will be moving in you
as you approach the point of no return."
So in now learning with all my heart and all my mind,
that I am "all the Universe", and "a cosmic human",
I must not only take responsibility
for how I create Elah in my drama,
and for wombing her as a part of me,
but also for "knowing it all", including
that all those, whose knowing is limited, are stuck there,
because I, I still do not accept, that I am ALL.
[terror~~~~ trembling~~~~}
The "Herods"
will not work with me,
as long as I think they have more power than I have.
Even my potential peers will not work with me,
as long as I make myself dependent on them.
continuation
of "Elah and Eilat" 2009
