Noah's Diary- 26th Day of Realization
Second Page

 

Let me now copy and edit what I wrote in my cave on the 22nd of December 2003:

2003_12_22 I really do write on my son’s laptop in my cave. And it does not hurt my fingers, which are in a bad state, as if they had cuts left or right of the nails. But the "cuts"are only splits in the skin, the result of hard work with the soil. Since the solar system will be installed only tomorrow, I am still using the battery I charged in my flat, it should provide electricity for an hour and a half. Let’s see. After all the laptop was bought in 1998 and has several bugs. And I still use the kerosine lamp, which is not exactly shining brightly. Though I type blindly, the keys of this laptop are not exactly on the same spot as the keys on my XP computer, and the touch is not the same touch. All this means that I’m making mistakes and should delete often. I don't even have a pad for the mouse, but use the board for cutting vegetables, but except for all these, I’m glad, I found a place, which is relatively convenient. The computer is placed on the edge of the reed drawer, because only there is the ceiling of the rock high enough for me to kneel in front of it and type. Kneel before a computer???? Though I was brought up a non-kneeling Protestant Christian, I , as a child, sought every secret corner to kneel before God, even in the toilet of my school... Today "God" has made it clear, that he really hates being put on a pedestal and adored. He is yearning for PEERS and PARTNERS, just like I do. But my Body, which is also God's Body, especially my Body's Back, is very grateful for my kneeling on a bench, for this allows the back to be upright all the time. On what do I kneel in the cave?

Listen to another of those miracles , that keep happening concerning supplies of tools etc.

In my flat I kneel on a meditation bench, A frequent guest in Succah in the Desert in 1991, I think, who had a little crush on me, gave it to me. Though even then I was frustrated with meditating. But everything which appears on Heaingkiss, was conceived and created on that bench. I just now [Dec. 25, 11 AM] asked my new flat partner, Julia, to take this photo] To pad my knees, I put a little woolen blanket underneath, which was given to me by four student pals in Heidelberg, when I gave birth to my "illegitimate" son. When I was in my flat last week, I asked my supplier angel, ”Know, that I need such a bench for Noah’s Cave.” It seemed unlikely that I could get something similar. I even looked up the Yellow Pages to see, if there was a carpenter in my town, but there wasn’t, and anyway even a carpenter couldn’t reproduce that kind of bench with its padded seat, and by then I had not yet been given the money to pay for it, which Julia and Olga, my subtenants, would hand me over a day later. Nor would I have had time to go to the carpenter. That afternoon -Grandma's Wednesday - instead of Arnon and Ayelet coming to Modi'in, I went with my daughter's Yael and Itamar to Arnon and Ayelet. I asked Ra'ayah, their mother, if they had some boards, which I could glue to the rock to put small utensils on them. She showed me what they had, but it wasn’t suitable. Suddenly she came with a tiny footstool, “could this be of any use to you?” I couldn’t believe my eyes: I rushed to a carpet, knowing intuitively, how to kneel on the tiny thing. I stuck it right under my behind, not behind, but between my legs. I was so exhilarated, that I hugged Ra’ayah. not only was my morning “order” fulfilled the very same day, what I got, was so much more practical for the cave than what I had asked for. ”It is from grandma Yente”, Ra’ayah said, ”I’m sure she took care of giving you this personally”, she smiled. Grandma Yente’s entire wiped-out family was on Christa-Rachel’s LIST….

It’s here were the screen died, as my son said, it would often.
I had to re-boot it, which stole at least seven precious minutes from the battery.
And while waiting, I so much wished to have a "PALM-PILOT-COMPUTER"!!!
Am I ready for this miracle too?

It’s still not easy to write like that,
but it’s warm now, the wind has finally subsided.
The Sea is sounding its nightly sounds.

My cave is renewed, after the flooding.
As always, when something gets destroyed,
it gives me a chance to remake it more beautifully, more comfortably.

For instance, I managed to carve out a little more from the rocks for my bed.
Why? Because when I came to my cave after the treat in the Ein-Gedi oasis,
two mattresses and the isomat and a lot of other things were gone.
First I feared, thiefs had been here after all.
But the thief was the wind,
and I was stupid or helpless, not to have taken care of heaving a stone on the stuff.
But then, there just was not any room for spreading the stuff in a way, that stones could be placed.
I found most of the stuff , but only three of the four plastic curtains
and only one mattress , the one , from which I had cut out a corner,
to make it fit the rock edge on the veranda,
where both these mattresses had been under the carpet.

Are you impatient with all these details?
In my beloved Rainer Maria Rilke's only novel “Malte”
there are details of “things”, which I would never have given any thought to.
Together with the Bible this is the only book I brought to the cave.
I hate shopping, I hate consumerism,
but I savor the “things” that serve me,
and I always smile at the person or the way "a thing" came to me.

Like the ruined house gave me ideas how to recreate it, the missing things gave me ideas, how to reorganize my house. Since there was no iso-mat , I needed to find a way to make use of the only mattress available. Which meant two things: The surviving mattress needed to fit into the inside bed, and on the veranda only those woven cheap carpets would pad the ground. After I had evened the “bed” again and carved out a tiny bit more , I cut the corner of the opposite side of the mattress, the left corner, round, and lo! – the mattress fitted into the Sodom Bed! In a way, that I can lie askance, my head squeezed into the right corner behind me and my feet stretched out into the left corner at the other end. I also put away with the eiderdown blanket which I once bought from Ina, a Russian new immigrant. She lived at Mitzpe-Ramon, 7 km away from "Succah in the Desert". It had become moldy, even after I had dried it for 3 days. I had still brought it back, in order to use it as a mattress. Now I didn’t need it anymore, I had a real mattress! I packed it to bring it to my flat the next time.

This photo, made "before the flood", shows the place for my head, (and Rilke's Malte , colored in blue (by me) to the right),

 

This morning I started before sunrise to improve my 190 steps up to the road.
I thought of the Baobabtree of the Little Prince.
He had to take care of it day after day, and so it will be with my steps.
Then I made canals all around my cave, to divert the water from seeping into it.
I prepared a place, where the solar panel will lean safely againt the rock,
and then carved out two holes under the southern edge of the ceiling,
one for the battery of 60 Ampere and a very deep one for the gas bottle of 12 l.

[Addition on Dec. 25:] The next day Saleh not only brought down the bottle,
too heavy for both me and Shim'on,
but helped me to improve on both holes.
Unfortunately I was too time-pressured - 10 minutes before darkness fell - to take Saleh's photo.]

I also improved on the curtains which are still not effective enough.
also because I’m lacking a certain kind of hook – bottle-hooks,
which I used to use through out my mobile, succah and tent lifes,
but which are difficult to find in shops.
I’ve been cursing wildly several times
when I just couldn't find a solution for a problem
But I kept my sounding appointments
and I kept my promise to immerse in the sulphur spring at least once a day,
shortly before the sun disappears behind the mountains in the west,
which yesterday, the shortest day of the year, happened about 1:40 PM.

Of course, I would like to tell not only about "things"
and not only about my work with the earth and the elements.

But the work with people,
in this case with my friend,
can rarely be reported on the Internet.
I may just mention this:
It seemed that he - unwittingly - had called me into his life,
in order to make his "lekh-lekhâ" from a situation,
which had been painful and unhealthy for years.
As I said to Salekh two weeks before:
"It is my job to lead myself and others
from victimhood to self-determination ,
in Hebrew: from "qorbanut" to "ribbonut",

Every single person who takes this step,
advances those two nations in this country
to do what alone will achieve peace:
to heal their victimhood
and become masters of their destiny.

 

Before my friend came to fetch me from Modi'in last Friday,
I had gotten this money from Julia, an Ukrainian immigrant
who from now on will share my flat with me, together with her cousin Olga.

Who of you can understand, what a burden was lifted from my heart and shoulders, when - with the help of H. and E. - this solution was found, a partner for the flat, wo I could go on hosting my grandchildren here every Wednesday and Tuesday and use the Internet. Julia gave me 1320 NIS, which equals 300$. For 5 months I had tried to find a solution for the rent of this flat, which I now use only on 2 days in each week. The rent is 550$, while my old-age allowance is only 300$, and my cleaning job only 40$ and all the rest had to be payed by my children

 

[Remember, that I'm still editing the text written on the laptop in the cave] When we arrived, it was already dark and it was raining. Because of the money in my pocket (120 NIS more than my children had paid for this month )

 

 

 

I agreed, when my driver suggested to spoil ourselves
and neither sleep in my cave – which was impossible anyway
nor in his tent, an alternative we had taken into account,
but in a guesthouse in Kibbutz EinGedi

I remember a similar “case of indulgence”
In Nov. 1996, when the Egyptians refused to let me cross the border,
I met S t a v, who was supposed to help me in Sinai two days later.
We met instead in Eilat and stayed over night on the beach.
We had only one sleeping bag, which he gave me,
and he took all our clothes to keep warm.
It wasn’t a night of much sleep.
At half past six he already went to cross the border,
with all the equipment, including a little solar panel
which I had aquired for our mobile hosting business,
and presents for the Bedouins whom I had been training
to become owners and hosts of the first model.

I stayed alone, at a loss, what I would do now.
My bus was still in its refuge, in Kibbutz Lothan, some 30 km north of Eilat.
I went to the phone, to talk to David, as I always did, except in Sinai.
He said:
”I have a suggestion, though you will refuse it!
After all you have been through - you should give yourself a treat:
go to the most expensive hotel in Eilat for 24 hours.
I’ll give you the number of my credit card and you can pay me when you can."

By coincidence I had gotten 500 NIS from a German friend,
belatedly,
for I had asked her like so many others,
to contribute some money, so I could repair my bus,
before I left Succah in the Desert for good.
I still hadn’t payed back all the money I owned,
but this money was with me in the bus, in cash.

I got excited.
Yes I would do such a crazy thing.
And I went to The Princess,
at that time the most beautiful hotel, exacty north of the Egyptian border.
I spoiled myself for 24 hours,
saw TV, different channels, in my room
(I hadn’t had a TV, leave alone different channels. for 11 years)
took a massage, went to the Jacouzie,
danced in the disco in the evening (alone...)
I even bought myself a bathing suit
since I didn’t have one and only used shorts and a blouse.
I went to sit on a little bridge, and put the bathing suit beside me.
Suddenly it fell between the boards of the bridge.
No swimming could retrieve it,
T he magnificent fish underneath had a great laugh, and so had I.
But then I saw a parking lot next to the Princess,
fitting for my bus.
That’s where I lived for the next 7 months.

Now - 7 years later - I indulged in a proper room and in good food in Kibbutz Eingedi,
and despite my anger against their appropriation of so much water of the David River,
in order to have the best botanic Garden in Israel,
a garden in the Desert…
I enjoyed the Baobab trees and the little bird flying around it.

The next day, Shabbat, we went to take my shorts and blouse from my cave in order to take advantage of the EinGedi spa sulphur springs. That’s when we discovered the theft of the wind. We knew we would hate the spa, but for me it was an opportunity to see, how "usual" people enjoy sulphur springs. The place and the pools and everything was absolutely abhorrent. And ridiculous too, because if people want to have a swim in the sea, a shuttle must bring them there. For the sea has sunk and receded on that location for more than a kilometer. How happy were we, when later we immersed again in Noah’s hot spring, pristine, 5 meters from the sea, in quiet, in peace, in solitude, the waters colored by the sun which had long disappeared behind the mountains. To make you feel and sense this moment with us, let me lead you through some glorious photos taken along the dustroad beneath the road between the border sculptures.

ON the mountain side of the Ein-Gedi Spa I saw curious triangle just underneath the crest, formed by two water rivulets

 

Though I told my driver, that passage was impossible after that rain,
he had to check for himself, which gave me time to breathe in ~~~~

We left the car and walked with the rest of the equipment,
which we hadn't managed to carry down the steps at noon.

To the south

and to the north

Then I am back in my cave

And - run down to the spring.

 

 

 

Tomorrow Tamir’s father Shim’on is supposed to finally complete my house
with the gas system and the solar system.
We have prepared everythhing very carefully,
except for the gasstove, he was supposed to get from that rabbi
(who , of course, is not going to visit me,
though we postponed Shim’ons visit, so he could join him.
A lot of judgments are involved in this “of course”,
But it was good, that Shim’on did not come then,
and because of the rain, didn’t come last week either,
for only now are we both truly ready.
And I pray to all my helping angels,
let us both have the satisfaction of accomplishing the complicated task tomorrow.

 

Now I’m tired and even completed,
though the battery has still some charge left.
And the screen did not disappear again.
I’m glad.

2003-12-23

This is one more experiment of how to run the cable from the converter,
which Shim’on is soon to connect to the battery and from there to the battery protector
and from there to the solar panels, the big one and the two small ones.
I’ve not yet a clue, how this will not only work but also fit the environment, i.e. merge with the ceiling of the cave.

It looks like rain again, and I’ll be leaving after our work will be done, if it will be done.
How ridiculous that in a time of high tech the Israeli radio channels cannot be heard here,
only a lot of Arab channels.
So I can’t know the weather forecast.
This morning I decided, that I’ll put my bed in order,
as if no rain would be coming.
In any case, I’ve done everything to divert the water coming down the slope.
and even from the outer part of the rock roof.
Still the drops will seep around the edge and drip off inside, but that’s not so terrible.
I’ve made a deal with my angels,
that if I’ll come back and find everything in shambles again,
I’ll go right back to my flat and take a break of two days.
But can I do that?
I have now subtenants in my flat,
who came on the condition, that I would be there only Wednesdays and Thursdays,
at the most 3 nights and 2 days.
Ha, ha! I’ve set myself up, haven’t I.

I’ll decide what to do, before I leave.
I forgot to tell you, that after I re-did my bed chamber
and, as I said, could suddenly stretch out my legs
or lie in my favorite position,
on the side, one leg stretched out as far as possible,
the other folded up to my body as close as possible,
I was still frustrated.
For getting down from the bed through the 3 fragile steps is still very difficult, and needs acrobatic skills.
It was then, that I saw the heart-wrenching scene
of my “twin-brother” Ya’aqov sqeezing himself from his wheel-chair into his car,
and again from his car outside into his wheelchair.
It’s not only his feet, which the polio – one of the last “cases” in Israel – affected,
but the arms and shoulders as well.
But he does this every day several times,
to bring himself and his twin girls to our Democractic School,
to take them to all kinds of activities, etc.
there are even friends, who are not ashamed to ask him to come with his car and help them in some emergency.
With this scene in my heart, I now feel solidarity with my friend every time I get up and down and I am happy I can feel this.

End of Computer Entry.
About the next day:
I've only two photos of Shim'on installing the solar system,
and no time to tell about it and about the miracles and stumbling-blocks...

 

And in the flat - Chanukka with the quartet and with Julia.

 

 

YHWH - It IS HAPPENING
y e s h  !    -    i t    i s  !