The
Purpose of HEALING - K.I.S.S.
- as stated 12 years ago - was and is
to help me and my potential P E E R s
"to HEAL ourselves into WHOLEness,
and - by extension - all of CREATion!" |
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I focus my experiencing and awareness on being
"a pioneer of Evolution
in learning to feel":
I let my Body vibrate and my Heart 'womb'
pain, shame, fear, boredom, powerlessness,
so feelings can >heal >guide>fulfill>evolve,
and ~~~ offer ~~~"goldmines"~~~ to us all!!
"I
want you to feel everything, every little thing!"
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K.I.S.S. -
L O G 2
0 0 8
Keep It Simple Sweetheart
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How
Learn
And |
I
The
Train
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Heal
Conditions
In |
Myself
For
Creating
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Into
Heaven
Those
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Whole
On
Conditions
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Self-acceptance
Earth
Daily |
sanctus-qadosh
sanctus-holy
sanctus-heilig
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Intro
to
k.i.s.s.-l o g + all
dates
~ Library of
7 years ~ HOME
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( of Latin characters only!) my
eldest granddaughter's video-gallery
"to
feel better requires that you become better at feeling"
June 26/ Sivan 23, Thursday, still 50 days -
at Shoham
Parting from my obsession to complete
this page--- on June 29
back to past ~~~~~
forward to future
The FOCUS of MY INTENTION
TODAY
Know exactly what you want, communicate clearly what you want,
then get out of the way, live and play, and let happen what
may!
7:00
After the wondrous260 minutes
intimacy with Mika yesterday for which I already feel a longing,
I desire to softly retreat and find my right place in the family
which - until
8PM includes
Mika's Abba.
I desire that the multiple personal-national
dramas as realistically depicted in "Good Intentions"
will NOW SOON and FINALLY dissolve into a healing process of
each & every person and nation
I desire
to be focused on uniting my clearest consciousness with my farest
feeling all day long!
I
desire to thus create the condition-sine-qua-non for Heaven-on-Earth
in all Creation - NOW.
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My belly without
constriction-contraction
and my belly "pulled in"
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hodayot [thanksgivings] for
today
9:04
My Body, my Partner,
my God
I now give thanks to our belly, though
I keep making it wrong all my life,
ever since my mother's constant "Zieh dein' Bauch ein"
- pull your belly inside...
Because of "too much" good (!) food leftovers, both
at Shoham and at Arad
which "have to be eaten" before someone will throw
them away,
[I've given up to fight this pattern!] our belly has become
more "protruding",
Watching how I judge & detest other people's bellies (like
I.s, even Mika's),
I have a criterion for my lack
of belly-self-acceptance projected on them!
I'm grate-full, that I.&E. came
back from Paris with a common "art-project"!
I am grate-full, that Mika's parents
found her well, except for a runny nose,
which started at 7 PM and woke her up often at night, and
"belly-pain"
(Efrat, laughing (?)"only
you can give her so many grapes & water-melon")
I am grate-full to you
, Mika, for all the delight You've given me,
though this morning again you don't "know"
me..
I'm grate-full to Ilan, the neighbor,
for having discovered just before I had to fetch Mika, why
I couldn't make the car going: the gear was not on "Parking"!
I'm grate-full that I grabbed Nella, which escaped through
a car-run street.
I'm grate-full for the abundance of good food and tasty "leftovers".
I'm grate-full for being able to accept my lack of belly-self-acceptance
knowing that only by not being whole myself,
am I compassionate towards all self-hating colors of the ONe
rainbow...
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I did get a response from Martin, my sister Ursel's
husband, after all.
I had expressed reservations
concerning protests from "Amnesty
International" in Germany against the violation of Human
Rights in Palestine.
He transmitted these reservations to his AI- group at Calw, the town,
to which his village Gechingen belongs.
He also sent me two postcards, one from 1954 concerning Ursel's and
my confirmation,
and one from 1956, sent by me from a 4 day travel with my school class
to Bonn, Koeln etc.
I'm glad to "drive backward" to both situations:
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Lieber Martin,
schoen, dass Du doch wieder einen Anknuepfungspunkt gefunden
hast,
ja, und dass Du meine Bedenken der Calver Gruppe ueberbracht
hast.
Um "Einfluss" geht es mir heute nicht mehr,
nur um "Ganz zu mir Stehen".
Danke fuer die Postkarten und die damit
verbundenen Erinnerungen.
Die Frau Wahl und ihre beiden erwachsenen Kinder
wohnten einige Haeuser weiter in unserer "Farrenstrasse"
in Gablenberg, Stuttgart.
Die Tochter war bei uns Pflichtjahrmaedchen gewesen ,
wohl 1941-42.
Dem Sohn, Photograph, verdanken wir unsre wenigen PHotographien
aus der Zeit.
Unser eigener Apparat wurde von den franzoesischen Besatzunsleuten
beschlagnahmt.
Obwohl unser Haus zerbombt war und wir nach der zwangsweisen
"Ruecksendung"
[Wolfartsweiler war franzoesische Zone, Stuttgart dagegen
amerikanische Zone]
in Gaisburg zur Untermiete unterkamen, blieb der Kontakt
mit den Wahls bestehen.
Sie waren eigentlich unsere einzigen Bekannten und - Helfer
- in den ersten Jahren.
Die Karte von 1956 ist von mir, von einer mehrtaegigen
Klassenfahrt nach Bonn, Koeln
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Ursel's and my confirmation , April
1954 |
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Koelner Dom, 1956, a journey
with my class from the Hoelderlin
Gymnasium for Girls at Stuttgart.
Barbara
Buetterlin, Heide Epple, Adelheid Meiswinkel, Ulrike Mascher,
Barbara Fetzer
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Barbara
Buetterlin, Eva Wurster? [died of cancer
long ago], Adelheid Meiswinkel
Ursula
Merz, Dorothee Raiser,
Ika Ott and - drawing behind her - Karin Moritz.
Ursel was my best friend
for many years, Dorothee and her husband became good friends
of me & my husband,
Ika Ott, a student of medicine, helped me in Israel, when
my youngest son was born in 1966,
and Barbara was my "Angel", who helped me with
"Noah's
Cave". Karin, whose traces are lost,
will forever be in my memory because of her scream at
the teacher: "Why did you let (the holocaust) happen!" |
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Am Sonntag
hat Immanuel vom Gericht das alleinige Sorgerecht fuer
Tomer bekommen.
Es ist "absolut", d.h. Ruth kann keinerlei Entscheidung
ueber Tomer's Leben beeinflussen.
Warum das so wichtig ist, wuerde einen dicken Waelzer
als Erklaerung benoetigen....
Auf der einen Seite ist das natuerlich,
was wir alle wollten.
Auf der andern Seite wird es nun fuer Immanuel's jetzige
Familie so schwierig werden,
dass ich mir am liebsten Augen, Ohren und Gehirn zuhalten
moechte.
Was gut ist, ist, dass sie in ein Haus auf dem Land ziehen
werden,
in dem es a) einen Garten und eine ziemlich freie natuerliche
Umgebung gibt
und b) 5 Zimmer gibt (eines fuer mich und eines fuer Tomer
eingeschlossen).
Die ganze Idee meines Mitlebens mit Efrat waehrend Immanuel's
Fluegen
entstand seinerzeit gar nicht wegen Mika, sondern wegen
der "Aussicht",
dass Tomer zu seinem Vater zurueckkehren wuerde.
(Ruth hatte ja Tomer schon einmal abgeschoben,
als Immanuel und Efrat in Michigan arbeiteten,
und spaeter als sie nach Kfar Vradim in Galiaea zurueckkehrten,
aber als Tomer sich dann so gut machte,
was sie wohl bei der Abschlussfeier der Klavierschueler
merkte,
zu der sie nach Kfar Vradim eingeladen wurde,
forderte sie Tomer mir nichts dir nichts zurueck, mitten
im Schuljahr
Da man fuer das Haus 6000
NIS verlangt hat, so
sind jetzt die Mietpreise in dieser Gegend,
(zum Vergleich: mein einziges Einkommen - von der National
versicherung - sind 2180 NIS
und fuer meine Einzimmerwohnung in ARAD- mit Veranda &Garten
bezahle ich 1050 NIS,
alles eingerechnet, Steuern, Elektrizitaet, Wasser, TV
und Internet-Verbindung),
wollten Immanuel und Efrat verzichten.
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Ausgerechnet ich war dann diejenige,
die ihnen zeigte,
dass sie keine andere Wahl haben,
und dass sie eben mal an den alltaeglichen Dingen sparen
sollten
(in denen sie rasend verschwenderisch sind...).
Die naechsten Wochen sind bezueglich
Tomer noch ganz unklar.
Er soll in ein Internat kommen,
aber nach seiner bisherigen "Laufbahn" nimmt
ihn kein "anstaendiges" Internat.
Er soll also vorher in eine "Erziehungsanstalt"
kommen (das heisst natuerlich anders heute).
Aber da gibt es wiederum technische Probleme, von der
Sache selbst ganz zu schweigen.
Und jetzt haben die grossen Ferien angefangen!
Und heute abend faehrt Immanuel fuer 4 Tage nach Bangkog.
Schoen war, dass Efrat bereit war, mit
Immanuel nach Paris mitzufliegen.
"Bereit" auch, sich auf mich die 2 Tage und
eine Nacht zu verlassen.
Wenn ich mit Mika allein bin, haben wir ein wundersammes
Zusammensein.
Wenn dann Efrat wieder da ist, sollte ich am besten nicht
existieren.
Aber ich bin ja eine sehr erfahrene, nicht ego-abhaengige
Grossmutter...
Viele Gruesse Rachel
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Our Outing Today
I
sing: "I paint the white
page / with blue -sky and water
with yellow I paint light / the night in black with green -
plants /
and here I change, checking if she
remembers the original
with red - "a
sweet heart on a stick"
"NO! " she
protested! "with red - flowers!"
"and all the colors I use for drawing
on the page the rainbow." |
"Shall
we go to the garden of the grapes and pomegranates?"
"Yes!" - and then
through all kinds of attractions on our way to there,
she asks again and again: "Are
we going to the anavim and rimonim?"
When we approached the garden, she said: "let's
run to the grapes!"
I knew, of course, that we had eaten all
the grapes
and was sorry to disappoint her.
I gave her the box within the box (until
this morning a container of cheese),
brought her stones and suggested, that we ask Imma to buy us
grapes,
which next time we would bring with us in this blue box to this
place. |
Dinner cooked by Abba-Pilot-Chef, shortly
before he had to go on flight to Bankok.
Since Mika often, when I take her picture, asks to see "Mika
ve-Savta",
and doesn't get it, that if Grandma photographs her, she will not
herself be on the photo,
Efrat takes a picture of us both.
Later, in bed, Imma and Mika talk about being afraid,
and this little girl of 30 months puts a serious question to her mother:
"mi-ma AT pokhaedaet, Imma" - "Of what are YOU afraid,
Imma?"
and her little face is total attention and expectation!
RONNIT, My Daughter
YAEL, Ronnit's Daughter
ROTEM, Ronnit's Daughter
Yael and Shir, one of ther close classmates
and friends
[see also on
Itamar's birthday, and on the Benot-Mitzvah -pages]
YAEL with Mika, her cousin
JONATHAN, Ronnit's Son
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Ronnit, my daughter, loved by her daughter,
but also very much loved by her many friends,
like Ataliya, also her neighbor, and Sarit, who sang the entry
song.
Both women are dear to me too. |
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Suddenly we met by chance - alone,
Yael and I,
and I simply took her arms
and began to dance with her.
This ignited Mika to join us... |
Yaacov,
with his wife Orit
and one of his twin daughters: Yahel
.
It was Yael
who - unwittingly -
made this reunion possible....
From my response to
Yael,
after she copied her poem
on her painting of hearts
for Yaacov - 4 years ago:
"Please send Yaacov
this link,
for it's not me who can send it:"
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As to more
of the experiences&images of Yael's Bat-Mitzvah
on May 20, 2008 - see July 9 |
back to past ~~~~~
forward to future 2008/2012
Intro
to
k.i.s.s.-l o g + all
dates
~ Library of
7 years ~ HOME
~ contact ~
SEARCH
( of Latin characters only!) my
eldest granddaughter's video-gallery
whole&full-filled,
never perfect&complete
Keep It
Simple Sweetheart
K.I.S.S.
- L O G 2
0 0 8
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