I focus my experiencing and awareness on being
"a pioneer of Evolution
in learning to feel":
I let my Body vibrate and my Heart 'womb'
pain, shame, fear, boredom, powerlessness,
so feelings can >heal >guide>fulfill>evolve,
and ~~~ offer ~~~"goldmines"~~~ to us all!!
"I
want you to feel everything, every little thing!"
K.I.S.S. -
L O G 2
0 0 8
Keep It Simple Sweetheart
17:00 My Body,
my Partner,
my God
I give thanks to our urine, of which we drink a glass every
morning,
that fluid, detested and made-wrong by most, appreciated by
some,
which Gabriele, my German-Indian friend recommended to me
in 1997,
writing: "No medicine could be better
for your frequent bladder infections
than healing it with its own product.
Wouldn't drinking it be a symbol of loving yourself, loving
your body?"
Thank you, Gabriela! 11 [16] years of drinking my urine has
done me good!
I am grate-full for having been present,
just before leaving Shoham,
when Immanuel came back from a sleepless pilot-flight
and Mika hugged him with such joy.
I'm also grate-full that I had the idea to go with them to
the kindergarden,
and to see the interaction there (see below),
and then, while my son brought me to the bus-station,
to share a few minutes of a valuable evaluation of the last
3 days.
And finally I'm grate-full for a smooth journey in busses
and train,
and for the strength to walk to the postal bank, receiving
my allowance,
to the pool and home, - with a heavy backpack filled with
food-boxes.
Yesterday after kindergarden and half an hour rest:
It was warm enough to go out - we went to the little park, where the
Quartet had played "time-machine".
Mika went straight to that "merry-go-round", but - this
would no longer move...!
She asked to be sat on the swing, and while enjoying herself, said:
"Abba goes to work!"
I thought , she was talking about her own father, but she was quoting
from a song. "Ah, you mean, I should sing : "numi,
numi"? a famous lullaby: "sleep, sleep my little
girl". "Yes!" and we sang together. "Again", she commanded.
Suddenly I saw a strange sight in town:
a group of horse-riders, clad as orthodox Jews, approached the junction
across the playground.
I pulled Mika out of the swing and held her in my arms next to the
fence, to let her watch the horses on the other side. "mi-saviv, mi-saviv", she exclaimed,
meaning: 'go around the fence! I want to be close to them!'
How did she know that word?
The horses were faster than us, turned into a dust-road beyond the
playground,
and we, of course, behind them, Mika on my shoulders.
She was heavy and the road bad, it became darker and we lost them
out of sight.
Luckily I found a small passway through a fence- from the dust-road
to a town-street.
We walked back together.
When she found that long branch, she demanded: "Take
it!"
In addition I found her half a banana-leaf.
When we came back to that playground, we left branch and leaf outside,
and she led me to the swing again,
this time phrasing the correct beginning of the song: "Numi,
numi"!
When she wanted to go home, she was cautious not to forget the branch
and the leaf.
Close to our house I convinced her to leave both on a little spot
of soil and shrubs.
She agreed - but sure enough - during the 30 steps to the entry of
our house she found two new branches...
The next morning:
Immanuel returned from his flight while
Mika was not yet dressed
After hugging something had to be "done".
Mika always needs to "do" something.
I don't know, from where she grabbed the little - sophisticated
- guitar,
I had never seen it before.
Then she wanted her father to take his
real guitar, "only in the evening, Mika, now you
have to dress". She understood or so it seemed, and ---
started to take her socks off - still a skill which needs training
"But Mika, you need these socks now
to go to kindergarden!"
We left together, Mika with Abba
and I.
But before showing the last scene of this togetherness, I must
tell about "Emma":
Emma (Line Kruse) is an eleven year-old only
child from a wealthy Danish family. Emma's parents seem more
interested in their own interests than in her. One evening when
Emma overhears her mother talking about how tragic it must be
to have your child kidnapped, Emma decides to stage her own
kidnapping. She soon meets Malthe, a kind-hearted, child-like,
naïve sewer cleaner who literally stumbles on to her. She
convinces Malthe that she is a Russian princess whose family
is being chased by Bolsheviks, so Malthe lets Emma stay with
him in his very modest abode. After being "kidnapped"
for a few days, Emma decides to return home. But, just as she
is about to return, she overhears a couple of servants talking
about how her parents don't seem to be very upset over her dilemma.
She then returns to Malthe and a close bond soon develops between
Emma and Malthe. Meanwhile, the police are finally called and
begin their investigation. Emma writes a ransom note for $2000,
and her father pays it. Emma uses the money to buy Malthe some
new clothes and to treat him to a "Russian" feast
at the Grand Hotel. Just as they are leaving the hotel, the
police finally catch up with them. Malthe believes the police
want to return Emma to the Bolsheviks so he flees with her into
the sewers.
Emma's
Shadow (Skyggen af Emma)
(1988)
Directed by Søren Kragh-Jacobsen reviews: * The portrayal of the friendship between
a little girl and an ex-con in this film is moving and honest
* Why didn't I hear about this wonderful movie
Before?, January 1, 2000
By Isaac Bell (Edmonton, AB, Canada) .I can't remember a movie
that has left such an impression upon my heart as this one.
One of the priviledged few European films that will find its
way to my small video shelf.
*One of the most genuine love stories I've ever seen, May 31,
1999
By Andrew (Texas, USA) - All to often, society seems to forget
that children feel the same hopes, fears, desires, worries,
dissapointments, and loves as adults do, and sometimes, in a
more pure, innocent way. Perhaps the greatest lesson of "Emma's
Shadow" is that children can fall in love, and can respond
to real love when they see it. The most beautiful thing about
the movie is Line Kruse, the 11 year-old who plays "Emma".
There is something absolutely delightful about the way she delivers
lines in her native, Danish tongue. It's easy to forget and
dismiss the emotions of a child. "Emma's Shadow" reminds
us that we never should.
* Beautifully filmed and sensitive. A truly
fine film!, November 28, 2002
By Annette Sears (Oregon, USA) This film truly deserves 5 stars
plus. It is beautiful, thought provoking and poignant. The acting
is superb, especially on the part of the obviously talented
Danish actress Line Kruse, who plays the role of a willful,
spoiled and materially indulged child. She is also spiritually
and emotionally starved by her distant and self absorbed parents.
After staging her own kidnapping, she stumbles upon a simple
Swedish ex-con and sewer worker (acted wonderfully by Borje
Ahlstedt)who is basically viewed as a social outcast amongst
his fellow workers and neighbors. The tender friendship that
ensues between the two social opposites is extremely touching.
The setting for this Danish film is during the 1930's and it
captures the period in beautiful style.
* 1997 ...When she left into a wild and strange
world all alone, she was very fortunate to find Malthe who genuine
loved her. She found in him a friend she was looking for so
long. And he found in her somebody who liked and loved him for
who he really was. Their friendship developed slowly and beautifully.
The only difference was that he was honest with her but she
wasn't with him because she had to make up the story of why
she was running away. When the police started chasing them,
it was remarkable to see how much he loved her by being ready
to risk his own life to protect her and to see her being so
sad 'cos she lied to him all this time. The end is beautiful...
Beautiful movie
The relationship has several interesting aspects. The obvious
first tension comes from the fact that Emma is alone in the home
of the single man, whose intentions are unknown. The movie makes
no effort to conceal that tension, making the audience to worry
for Emma. Soon enough, however, it becomes apparent Malthe is
a kind man, and it is in fact Emma who is in charge of
the situation and even appears to enjoy the effect of
her femininity on the lonely man.
The social inequality of the two is striking: they are from the
two extremes of the society, in the day when classes would certainly
not casually mingle. Finally, while Emma is but eleven years old,
her self confidence is vastly beyond that of the rather
slow witted, meek Malthe, and she is used to having her way with
people. Yet, Emma is now dependent on Malthe, a commoner. The
movie doesn't fail to make use of all this.
The beginning of the experience of watching the movie was dominated
by ... Emma's ... crude bossiness. Gradually
the first impression was replaced by apprecition for the interesting
dynamics of the story and the characters of Emma and Malthe. ..
The ending of the movie was a pleasant surprise. Emma is found,
and Malthe is assumed guilty and convicted. Emma's parents won't
consider other interpretations of the events. It is the predictable,
depressing situation. A police officer, delightfully level headed
and reasonable throughout the movie, finds proof of Emma having
staged the kidnapping, however, and Malthe is brought to meet
Emma. Pained by guilt and shame, Emma starts quietly crying
against Malthe, and he picks her up for a long, close embrace.
For Emma's parents this comes as a shock in a multitude of ways.
They had been so wrong. Their child had, after all, deceived them.
And perhaps above all: the lack of love from them had driven her
away, and Malthe, a pariah of the society, had been able to provide
her what they hadn't. Emma's father looks at his wife —
a solemn, troubled look — and discreetly closes the door,
respecting, or perhaps not bearing to see, Emma's long
embrace
Synchronicity
When Mika entered the kindergarden
with Abba,
she parted from him, while hugging him.
Right after that - the kindergardener came in -
and she shouted "Daddy" and hugged him too. "Weren't you
jealous?"
I asked Immanuel on our way out. "No! This would
be bad,
if I were jealous of somebody who cares for her!"
"Well, I was a bit jealous for your sake!" "She has so much love! She can contain many people!"
Of course, unlike Mika's father,
Emma's parents had all the reasons in the world
to be jealous of Emma's embrace of Malthe
In the morning I had accompanied Immanuel and Mika
to the kindergarden, but wasn't fast enough to take the pictures of
that double embrace.
Then Immanuel brought me to the bus-station and we talked a while about
our powerlessness to ease Efrat's suffering..
After a few minutes she called him. She waited for the car to drive
to work (though it's only 7 minutes to walk there, she'll never walk).
I still had 15 minutes waiting for my bus to the airport train-station,,
watched the contrast of the beauty of the palm-tree and underneath it
the ugliness of the garbage-bin and cage for bottles-to-be-recycled
and I thought about Immanuel's answer: "She
has so much love! She can contain many people!"
When my train reached Beersheva and everybody
got up to go out,
I saw the "Israel Ha-Yom" (Israel
today) newspaper on many deserted seats,
and though I avoid wasting my energy on taking in painful information
about the steady deterioration of the State of Israel,
I felt, I should use the time - waiting for the bus to Arad and traveling
to Arad - to read it.
The flashback to 1977 - Yitzchak Rabin and Yig'al Alon - has the title:
"And all over again".
It was in 1976, that I was "permitted to disturb" Yig'al
Alon, then Minister of Foreign Affairs,
with my concept of "transforming
a negative dependency into a positive dependency, i.e. a partnership".
Yig'al Alon died in 1980, and the negativity of the dependency between
Jews and Palestinians
has reached a degree, which only lets me wonder,
how those in power have the power to sleep and get up in the morning
for a new day...
But I cannot judge a nation and its government for letting patterns
and traumas run them,
as long as old patterns/unhealed feelings still darken even the
wondrous relationship
between a quite whole mother-in-love and a quite wise daughter-in-love...
"As bad as these events may feel, this is
the opportunity to heal what is your's to heal"
Continuation of "Grandma-Day":
Arnon with Nella under the Dommim-Tree. He searches for ancient cisterns
I came home today, and saw some sad, dried-out
plants in garden and pots.
Towards the evening, when I had recovered from the journey, I went out
to water them.
It was then, that I discovered this woundrous narciss!
When you are in alignment with who-you-really-are,
you cannot help but uplift those with whom you come into contact.
Your value to those around you hinges upon only one thing:
your personal alignment with Source.
And the only thing you have to give to another
is an example of that alignment
—which they may observe,
then desire,
and then work to achieve—
but you cannot give it to them.
Everyone is responsible for the thoughts they think
and the things that they choose as their objects of attention.
March 3, 2012
A video from "GoodNews-World
Citizens" , which today
While writing to Daniel about the danger of denial in both of us
- not letting the other know that we feel flooded by his/my talking
-
I recalled a passage in RUOW, which uses just this case -
another person talks while I don't wan t to listen any longer-
as an example of denial
and in order to find it [in vain!],
I started to read the inserted pages about "UNDERSTANDINGS ON DENIAL"
(p.108-109,
and p.110-111
)
while at the same time listening to clips from "The Prince of Egypt"
,
which I had saved among my "Bookmarks".
I cried ever so often, but
one passage made me stop everything else.
Moses who wanted only "the good" for the people,
was the one, who had to bring such pain
on the Pharao, with whom he grew up as his brother,
as the movie - unlike the Bible - spells it out!
And I sob and sob:
"And even now I wish that God had chosen another,
serving as your foe on his behalf
is the last thing that I wanted
...All this pain and devastation,
how it tortures me inside"
I was struck by a sentence in an e-mail from OBO
- One Becoming One[2013"Not Found"] "In nature, all parts of the whole
are nourished, in a continual cyclical flow. " This is so obvious, for instance if I think of my
body, that I take it for granted. By contrast,
another sentence in OBO expresses, what I always lived ,
without being in any exterior position of a leader “To be a leader means to involve yourself in helping
others
discover the meaning of their work and the relationship
between who they are and what they may become.” ~Austin Vickers
It reminds me of a talk with my son Micha and his son Arnon,
when they were here at Arad 2 weeks ago,
how he, Micha, succeeded in raising employees to a degree,
that made them capable of replacing him, their boss.
The organization "One Becoming One" is connected to "Do
as One", In the original site: open the video to
the right:
different people, including children, breathe "as one".
