I focus my experiencing and awareness on being
"a pioneer of Evolution
in learning to feel":
I let my Body vibrate and my Heart 'womb'
pain, shame, fear, boredom, powerlessness,
so feelings can >heal >guide>fulfill>evolve,
and ~~~ offer ~~~"goldmines"~~~ to us all!!
"I
want you to feel everything, every little thing!"
K.I.S.S. -
L O G 2
0 0 8
Keep It Simple Sweetheart
Know exactly what you want, communicate clearly what you want,
then get out of the way, live and play, and let happen what
may! 8:55 I desire to understand this
shocking invitation to Gil
Huettenmeister's 70th Birthday gathering
in Israel, at the
Biblical "Farm" Ne'ot Kdumim, situated exactly
between Shoham and Modi'in, between Mika,
my peer-grandchild, and Yael, who will be 12, Bat-Mitzvah,
7 days later, on May 9
I desire to understand, if it is right to also use this out-of-schedule
travel to that area,
in order to spend time with my 'trinity'
and then to take Yael down to the
Red Sea corals.
image of the day in this morning's e-mail from "Spaceweather.com" MOON HALOES: "When moonlight shines
through icy clouds,
the usual result is a simple pair of moondogs.
But recently near Mt. Hekla, Iceland, Gudmundsson saw much more..."
hodayot [thanksgivings] for
today
9:04 My Body,
my Partner,
my God
I give thanks to you for having re-learnt to heal wounds.
Though there is still an open spot on my elbow from the fall on the reef in
the Acco sea,
it is nothing compared to the wounds in the past,
which would not heal, but get worse,
and as with the wound on the top of my left foot,
caused by colliding with a chair while dancing
Sama'a in 1995,
almost resulted in gangrene and in the amputation of the entire
leg.
I'm grate-full right now for the lovely, meaningful sculpture
about my 'trinity', the town Tarshiha
and Eliyah the Prophet,
which I've been inspired to create this early morning
even before sculpting my "Intentention" and "Thanksgiving".
I am grate-full beyond expression for and to "Eliyahu"
himself,
and for Mendelssohn's Oratorium which brought him even closer.
Would I have survived without
the consolation (I cry now)
as well as the lesson concerning the way of full-filling
my vocation,
implied in this wondrous biblical drama?[mainly
1.Kings ch.17-19]
This is what I saw, when I reached the top of
the wadi, before crossing the street.
And below is what I saw, after I had crossed the street, before stepping
down to the short street which leads to the pool.
Having
such a backlog
of Pesach-images
which I want to insert
in K.i.s.s.- log
I try.......
not to take...
new photos,
but in this case
I couldn't help it.
When - on the way
to the morning-pool -
I came to the top
of my desert wadi,
I was elated
by the waning moon
behind this
one
lonely
tree
on this side of the road.
I waited for a car
to come by
to make the road
visible.
And when I crossed
the road,
I met another
elating view,
the staircase,
which I'm about
to walk down,
with its lights
and shades
between the
now blossoming
oleander bush
and the
not yet blossoming
pepper tree
"Could it be, that this "practical" issue
will advance you/us in both?"
Well then - please bring this across to my bewildered
feeling and mind!
"There is nothing for me to do but refer you to
our last communication!"
I read it! I'm bothered,
that I didn't remember it! And I'm most grate-full!
"Click also on the
little sound-pyramid, which you now inserted "by
chance".
It tells you, that it was good, that you refrained from
communicating your plan
concerning the gift for Yael's Bat-Mitzvah, snorkeling
with her in the Red Sea.
The two vague plans - the one with Yael
and the other to bridge the 19 days of "not being
needed" in Shoham
in order to guard the intimacy with Mika -
would have been "trapping
your Will" ,
since you did not want to leave your solitude, nor did
you want to travel.
But with this invitation to Gil, into such a crucial
part of your history,
and not in any place in Israel, but in the reconstructed
biblical village,
the danger of "trapping Will" has melted away,
hasn't it?
Looking at the clever combination
of these three plans I feel stunned.
On the other hand my doubts say: 'to good to be true!
something is ...'
"Stop phrasing your doubts! Feel them and focus
on what you want!"
You are right!
I desire the triangular plan to come true .
I desire to complete the finetuning to the Pesach experiences
till then.
I desire to have the strength to openly and wholly take
in
all the experiences
with circumstances, occurrences and interactions,
which are or may be implied in that triangular plan.
"The issue of trapped Will
is very important to Body,
because most of our Will of course is trapped.
But most of our trapped Will
is still present
and not yet lost,
as long as there is life. ...
and if true freedom for all Will is to be a reality,
then more Will that is already free
must choose to help free the Will that is still trapped...
"Free Will that is true to
herself is Will
that must above all avoid becoming trapped.
"... Whenever Will engages
with Spirit to create something,
she traps a part of herself ~
the part of the Will that unites with Spirit
is committed to maintaining that manifestation in existence.
This Will is not able to choose another manifestation
until she becomes free from what she has already manifested.
"This
in itself is not a problem,
but rather a fact of manifestation.
What is a problem, however, is
when Will loses the ability to choose again.
"If she is to be truly free,
she must be free to refrain from manifesting
what she does not desire,
and to even unmanifest
what she does not desire.
"This is not presently
the case,
because there is so very little Will essence
that is not already trapped
in manifesting creations that she does not desire.
"Manifesting creations
is not the only way Will can become trapped,
but it is the most serious
because of how much Will is trapped
in unwanted creations
from which she is unable to free herself.
.....
"Another important way
that Will can easily be trapped
is in the act of planning.
Free Will decides to do something,
be somewhere or with someone ~ at a future time.
This often works out fine, and fun is had in both,
the planning of the experience
and in the experience itself.
"But too often the event is not
enjoyed because the trapped Will that must
manifest this event
does not really wish for it to happen,
or would have preferred another event.
"Too often the Spirit-polarized free Will of planning
has chosen to enjoy her freedom at the expense of the Mother-polarized
Will
that has been trapped into manifesting it.
No interaction was planned, but around
5 PM Meital
came and begged me
to guard the kids "just for
15 min. until Ofir will come home".
This was fine, but my red lights went on, when she, as usual,
warned: "But don't take them out!
It's cold and they are 'after shower'!!!"
Of course, it was not for 15 min., but for an entire hour,
and of course, Amit (3) begged
to go out into the desert and look for snails.
Though I had to tell him: "But
Imma doesn't allow it",
I myself - at first unwittingly - found a way to not obey: "I was just about to dig up
and air the compost in the garden,
do you want to help me?" Great excitement! complicated
"helping"! soiled house-shoes! worried
Ofir...
and - photos which present an anti-dote
to all the bla-bla about "LIGHT"..
Finetuning
to my Present
20:10 since my new TV set is still not connected
to the proper converter,
I opened the news in the Israeli Channel 2.
But even if I had opened the usual - European-German - 3 SAT,
I would have to face the terrible news:
a family in Gaza sat down on the earth around the fire in their
"court" for breakfast,
when the mother and four of her eight children , the youngest
2 months, exploded.
The mother was called "Hathra"
the green one, Hathra
is the name of my beloved Bedouin starchild and future co-creative
peer, as I believe. [see
now on May 27-31, 2011 in "Nourishment"]
It doesn't matter, how it happened,
and if the Israeli army or the Palestinian Hamas are to be blamed,
or both, or none of them .
20:30 Why didn't I close the "News"
right away?
Was I hoping for something more uplifting?
Or did I want to sidetrack myself from my not so tasty supper?
When I was a child, the daily
newspaper on which my mother was subscribed
(either the "Stuttgarter
Nachrichten" or the "Stuttgarter
Zeitung"),
had a little frame on one of the pages, and in it a little story
under the title:
"Das Netteste vom Tage" - "The Nicest Thing of
the Day".
It was the only news which I used to read.
I've never seen a newspaper which imitated this idea.
The "story" ['Amstetten-Ahriman']
which still awaited my stupidity
[see below what I discovered behind this 'stupidity'!],
was even worse than the above.
The crime, if this word could even fit what happened in that
house in Austria for 31 years,
was of such monstrosity,
that I - Dr. Christa-Rachel Bat-Adam - could not withstand listening
to the report.
I was disgusted with the reporter who stressed twice, that "this
too" happened in Austria,
and this time "too" nobody "knew what was happening
right under their eyes."
How easy is it to judge an entire country for the crimes of
a few.
But that is not my point!
I cannot prevent others from judging,
but I can prevent myself from giving power to crimes by indulging
in listening to reports about them.
Why is it, that I still can be tempted
to find interest in such things?
If this is true for me, how much more true is it for other people?
And if we so much enjoy watching people doing monstrous things,
why should such monstrosities stop?
My first, horrid lesson in understanding, how I was contributing
to crimes,
was during my scholarship year in Israel, in 1961, when I came
across a book -
the "scientific" documentation of the medical experiments,
the Nazis did with their victims in the Concentration Camps.
After a few hours of reading I suddenly became aware,
that I was interested and curious to read more.
Reading about monstrosities had become an "entertainment"!
Disgusted with myself I left the book and left the house in
which I found it.
[See also "God's"
horrid description of his own abominable observation
of an abominal medical experiment in a concentration camp]
Much has been written about the attraction of evil. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
I feel totally powerless now.
The issue of my communication with Deity this morning looks
absolutely ridiculous
compared with the issue of "voyeurism" , which is
overwhelming me yet another time in my life.
It wouldn't be too difficult to discipline myself, as I've been
doing more and more anyway,
and not listen, not read, not judge, not "be there",
when the media or people around me "wade" in the worlds'
crimes.
My not seeing, not hearing might be a denial - even of my own
"tendency"
"Babylon" explains "voyeurism" not only
as "stimulation derived from secretly
watching sexual acts or naked bodies" but also as "enjoyment from seeing misery or sordidness". Enjoyment! Entertainment!
Isn't that the "watching" of commitment of crimes
(or "identifying with",
or "letting othes do it vicariously for myself")
the most attractive element in all movies etc.?
Oh, I must stop now...
What in "Heaven-on-Earth-in-Body" will give enjoyment,
excitement, entertainment,
if there won't be any crimes etc. anymore, neither in "reality",
nor in "movies" etc.?
I feel absolutely hopeless.
song
of the day
".....Help me here to find my worth - made in God's own
mould..."..
after having reached Acco , in order to celebrate the
Seder with Efrat's family.
Towards sunset I have the chance to cross
over to my beloved SEA, and this is what I SEE
The bird caught in flight, was matched
by another bird caught in flight the next day,
and both these birds merged with the "webshot"
image of a flying buzzard on
April 30.
The
sea of Acco
to the north,
towards Naharia
and the border
to
Lebanon
The
sea of Acco
to the south,
towards Haifa
A Muslim man
praying alone,
his face towards Mecca
in the south
The fortifications of ancient Acco
and - all at once - the lights
along the bay and harbor of Haifa
The Full Moon in a street across the beach
- competing with the street lamps
On the other side of the road along the
sea:
a little old house with a modern antenna
and an old-fashioned rope with laundry...
And then, when I turn around the corner
into the street, where Efrat's parents live,
I witness by a scene,
outside an Arab fish restaurant:
a mother approaches two little girls
and scolds them harshly.
I pity the perplexed girls,
but pass on, some 40 m.
and ring the bell of the house,
in which except for Mirjam & Victor
all Jewish families have gradually left....
The Seder will soon begin,
I dress in a small room and use the mirror to document the dress of
M I R Y A M
This is extremely unfair:
While one grandma of Mika
is simply a guest,
doesn't have to do anything
but radiate her loving presence,
and even receives a festive dress
from Miryam, Mika's other grandma,
Miryam, hostess and cook and server,
- also mother of Efrat,
- also mother-in-law of Immanuel
- also wife of Victor Avitan,
- also daughter of Meme Levi
- also sister of Shalom Levi
- also sister-in-law of Sylvia Levi
- also aunt of Avi Levi
Myriam, who is my age, still does,
what I've done for too many years:
exemplifies what "a slave" is ~~~
on the festival of the Exodus from Slavery...
This night - unlike tomorrow
at dinner - Mika is the only grandchild.
She is very much loved by Saba Victor, and she loves him too.
Shalom and Sylvia - without grandchildren - may envy him a bit.
"Meme" - Efrat's beloved grandmother
- who hardly speaks any Hebrew -
is allowed to even hold her on her lap,
a great priviledge granted by Mika...
The TV will forever run
in the home of family Avitan.
Here the singer sings: "You told me
that the eyes of lovers
will shine..."
What can be said
about such a heavenly sight
of greatgrandmother
and greatgranddaughter,
who combines
Moroccan Jewish heritage
with
German-Jewish-Christian heritage?
And once more:
what beauty - greatgrandmother and greatgrandchild ~~~ matched only
by the moon outside
As to more
of the experiences&images of Pesach Eve, April 19
- see tomorrow
with the backlog on K.is.s.-Log enough,
