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Right Use of Will Discussion II

Spirit Aligning with God, God and Spirit Aligning with Will

It doesn't seem to be getting any closer

Spirit Aligning with Love, Loving Spirit Aligning with Will

I wish to share some of my thoughts and feelings
concerning who is spirit polarized and who is will or magnetic polarized,
and therefore what is most appropriate and healing.
Feeling very will polarized,
I was inspired by and struggled for years through the RUOW material,
going deeply into emotional expression as never before.
Often times the movements felt torturously unbearable.
But with my strong intentions for healing I always came through
and I sense the release work I have done
has opened in me the space to more recently receive more loving light.

And now as I choose to align with God here on this site,
because it feels right to me,
I feel to be moving through a period of more spirit healing and redemption ~~~
working with judgment release to reclaim all of my denied spirit.
And this in turn enables me to go deeper into will healings.

"Thank you for asking your spirit to align with my Light here.
However, my representation on this site or in books
is not the best way for you to find the exact alignment
you will need at deeper levels in your process.
I am best experienced as the presence and voice within you,
and the channeling class gives some tips
about how to connect with me directly.
Inner communication between us is becoming more important
as the healing work moves to deeper layers of the Gap.
As you work deeper in the Gap between Spirit and Will
there is more need for the kind of guidance and coaching
I can best give on the inside.

"You mention the Spirit and Will polarities as they are experienced in humans.
The healing work goes very differently
depending whether you start your process identified with spirit, or identified with Will.
Some people have a fairly good balance of both,
others favor one or the other,
and some are left with very little to almost none of the essence they haven't favored.

"As I've said in the healing class,
the best approach to healing for those identified with spirit
is to first align with my loving light in the center of the Spirit polarity,
and then make your spirit essence available to align with your Will
when she is ready.
Be prepared
to have complete and honest acceptance of her and the emotions she's been holding,
and be there ready to move with her in expressing and releasing the emotions
that had until now been stuck and unable to move
due to Spirit's previous denial, nonacceptance and outright disdain.

"From the perspective of Spirit,
there will usually be a release of the unloving light
that had been trapped in the contracted magnetic essence
just as the Will begins to open and move.
The bad light will manifest as judgments, guilt or blame.
Also, stuck emotions are often covered by a layer of rage
accompanied by bad light,
and this must also move before the deeper emotions can move.

"Judgment release is the easiest and quickest way
to help the magnetic essence release the bad light as it begins to move.
In some cases the bad light will also include Asuras or denial essence,
and this essence is best handled by asking me to escort it to its right place, which is not in Creation.

"If you begin your process identified with magnetic essence,
it is best to seek the Mother's help and guidance immediately,
don't try to come to Spirit first.
The reason for this is that your own spirit essence may still be partly in denial,
and you'll find Lucifer or Ahriman instead of loving Light.

"The already healthy parts of the Mother and I are in contact
and sometimes even in communion,
and you can reach my Light more easily
if those parts of the Mother help you find your way.
Working with other Will polarized people may be good here.
Connecting with her is easy when feeling emotions of course,
because they all started with her, and are a part of her heritage.
And as you know, when you move and release something in yourself,
and you do it in union with the Mother,
you do it for everyone, for all of Creation."

My sense is the work we are doing has never been done before
and therefore only we can say what it is as we experience it.
My knowing is that the Real Heart being born as US
requires both spirit and will essence (as well as body) to manifest ~~~
and so it is vital that we do both kinds of healing work,
at our own right pace, of course.

"Yes, pace is important.
Sometimes in enthusiasm the healing work has gone past denied essence,
which then caused reversals in the work already accomplished.
Also, I would mention here
that neither Spirit nor Will can manifest independently.
We can be experienced as Heart presence and as manifested Form,
but pure Spirit alone and pure Will alone are unmanifest.

"Heart presence can be found in the heart level of each chakra.
Within each chakra there are levels of experience that correspond to the chakras,
and the center of each chakra is another birth place for Heart presence.
This phenomenon of chakras with chakras is mentioned in the running energy discussion
about the energy exercise in the channeling class
and there will be more on this in Lesson Four of the healing class
which is about Body."

My experience has lead me to go with what feels most appropriate in each instance
and to be aware to look around the edges for what I might be missing.
My thanks to all contributors
who have each in your own way inspired me to fuller wholeness and self-acceptance ~~~
as well as helped me to not feel so alone in this healing anymore.

It doesn't seem to be getting any closer.

No specific question, just this bit of rambling.
I had been on this search a long time when I discovered the RUOW series several years ago.
I was transformed by the experience,
not to a higher more holy place but a deeper more confused state.
I am possessed by the story and know it to be true
but I am still in denial and I am still deeply confused by its implications.

I feel and wonder for the "poor, fat, ugly" black women living in the worst of poverty,
whose essence, depth of character and truth of being
far exceeds anything I could know and belies her sad station in life.
I am hatefully attracted to the piercing white physical beauty of the slim blond anglo,
perfectly proportioned, classically beautiful, rich and successful.
How empty it ultimately is, but how seductive is its lure.

God did have His favorites and everyone knows who they are.
And the Mother and her children suffer unfathomable pain for it.
They live in hopelessness,
cling to slim hopes that maybe God will somehow come through,
somehow save them.
The pain of admitting that it won't happen is just too great.
Will She finally decide to just lay down and not be
- oh but if only that were possible
for oblivion is proving to be a slow and agonizing term with no promise of finality.

Meanwhile the rich get richer, the white get whiter.
The new agers proclaim to be holy angels,
the true loving children of God.
The power mongers have never known such control and wealth.
Heart sits shattered, confused and powerless
and the little black child sits on the stoop of a concrete hell with slim possibilities,
destructive self-hate and chaotic desperation all around.
Where's mine? he asks, where's my piece of heaven.
What did I do to deserve this?
And the Heart breaks a little more as Lucifer/Ahriman says you'll get yours later.
Just be a good Christian, love God and believe in Jesus.
As Lucifer/Ahriman says to the newager, it is Karma.
He obviously sinned terribly in another life
and now pays for his transgressions
for God is a fair and just God.

I don't see it, Spirit.
I can't see it.
I get older, closer to my end here
and it just doesn't seem like it is getting any closer.
I have seen the union in my highest of visions
but that seems so long ago.
Tears were streaming down.
I had never known such absolute joy.
I now suspect it was not the future I was experiencing but the past.
Perhaps it is only my descent into hell I am experiencing
and that others have gone on ~~~
Jeez what a self indulgent diatribe.
You create your own reality, create a better one.
Resolve it, go back and rebuild it, destroy it and start over.
Deny it and go on.

"Thank you for your expression.
It is not self indulgent, it is self aware.
Please release the judgment, you're doing the work.
You are expressing the truth
and you're touching one of the deepest realities of the Mother.
Your vision came from me,
you saw a part of the plan,
and it is also true.
In healing from the spirit side
it's very good work
to hold both the Mother's despair
and my vision
in the same moment of awareness,
and it's on this step of your process that you're now working.
We will soon discuss this practice in more detail in the healing class."

So sorry to put you through this but I guess I'm in one of those moods.
Unwilling, maybe unable to explore it any deeper.
We truly are fragmented, split in our personalities.
We really never have known ourselves in a completely healed and whole state~~~
Father and Mother, truly in Love.

"Again, releasing the judgments
and finding the light in your vision
will help bring you deeper in your exploration.
And of course you are right,
what we're doing now has not yet been done.
So, please give yourself credit
for what you have already accomplished
in the darkness of the unknown,
your work is good."

Please press on channelers,
you are needed and greatly appreciated
for the end/beginning is apparently not yet written
and this love story has got to have a happy ending and a new beginning.
Wonderful catharsis.
Thanks for listening, for the forum and for your loving commitment.

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