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52 days of Moving and E-volving Emotions Manual - 5th day, 2002-07-11
| I don't deny depression I EXPRESS depression
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2013
The FELT days 21, 22, 23, 24 ~ of the next 15 FELT years
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5 y e a r s = 5 4 8 0 days
of g e f u e h l t e - g e f u e l l t e Z e i t "inmitten der Ewigkeit", f e l t - f i l l e d t i m e "amidst eternity" from the beginning of my 76th till the completion of my 90th year [unless I'll die after all] "A dream is our life on Earth ...we measure ...(it) in space & time" -see 2013 songs August Nr. 4- Yes, I, Christa-Rachel Bat-Adam, want to measure my life on Earth in space & time! 4 days of feelings will be inserted on each of the 1400 pages [set up between 2001-2008] continuing with M E E M and then following the order of folders and files on my "local site". The feeling chosen from a day is exhibited in max. 7 lines per day since August 28, 2013 On 6 days of the week I learn, but Shabbat is dedicated to my main feeling: grate-full-ness. Since feelings must be vibrated and wombed, each day symbolically closes with a song, following the order of SongGame 2007, which includes my own songs from 1967-2011, and from then the songs created by myself or learnt from others in 2012, 2013 till 2028... To challenge myself like that -while not knowing what will be "staged" in my personal and in the world's drama till 2028 , exhilarates me! |
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"I want you to feel everything, every little thing!"
Sept. 17, 2013: I pondered - for longer than an hour - which of these resolutions to choose,
till I understood,
that this scene with "my" Gamal Shlomoh [my Mantis] underneath the stand of the lamp
with its clipping from "Godchannel", glued to it while I lived at Modi'in (2001-2003)
symbolizes "the increase of the resolution of feelings",
which I want to "accomplish" in every moment and sculpt on every day.
The lamp stands next to my computer above the shelf
created by a woman carpenter for my bus, perhaps in 1993
("please make it stand on its own, so that one day if I have to leave my mobile home,
I'll be able to carry it with me to wherever I'll be living")
with the edge of my Hebrew book, showing the edge of "Bet-Ma'ariv", the publisher
Background to what I
felt on the last of these 4 days:
"Touched", "Moved" by a painting
as well as by the "impression-expression" caused by this painting
in others.
Franz
Rosenzweig, Brief Nr. 66
An die Eltern,
Venedig, 5.6.1906. ...Wir gingen ... zum Palazzo Giovanelli, wo man uns auf unser anstaendiges Aussehen hin rein liess. ....Gemaeldesammlung, und ein Giorgione, auf den sich dieser Brief zuspitzt wie dieser ganze Tag; und jetzt wo ich schreiben will, fuerchte ich mich beinahe. - Es ist die "famiglia", oder " ein Mann und eine Frau mit einem Kind, im Hintergrund ein Gewitter", oder wie die neuste Kunstgelehrsamkeit es nach einer denkbar obskuren Sage benennt: "Adrastus und Hypsipyle". Zuerst nur ein vorzueglich gemaltes Bild, so gross wie etwa die Portraets der Urgrosseltern Ehrenberg. Mit wundervollen Einzelheiten als der stehende Mann und sein Hemd besonders, die sitzend-kauernde Frau und ihre Bewegung besonders, die Wolke mit dem Blitz; - und gleichgueltige oder unangenehme Einzelheiten wie der Ziehbrunnen oder was es ist, und der glaenzend gemalte, aber panaromahaft stereoskopische Zweig vor der Frau, und die Stadt mit den haesslichen Haeusern. - Und dann sitzt man ein paar Minuten davor auf einen Rokokosessel und dann geht ein Wunder vor und es verschwindet alles, wovon ich vorhin erzaehlte, und man sieht ohne zu wissen, was man sieht; man wird ganz Sehen. Ohne jede Leidenschaft, ohne jede Erregung, ohne jeden Gedanken, ohne jedes Wissen von etwas anderm oder von sich selbst: ganz Sehen. Es ist absolute Kunst, wie man von absoluter Musik sprechen kann, von Musik die nichts, rein gar nichts darstellt ..., sondern nur Musik ist, nur gehoert werden kann. - Es ist etwas so Unbegreifliches, dass man eine Religon darauf gruenden koennte.-... F.R.'s impression and expression touched me. I googled for the painting . It took much searching until I understood, that a more common title is "The Tempest". Salvatore Settis - "Giorgione's Tempest - Interpreting the Hidden Subject" catalogued 29 solutions adding his own (Adam-Eve, Cain). Somewhere I read, that it could be the family of the painter [died at the age of 32!] An extensive interpretation I find in "Adventures in Art History" : |
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F.R.
didn't understand the structure with the 2 pillars. Here it's said:
"Pillars have many meanings including
death...." In "500 years
of Debate and Interpretations with Reinterpretations"
the author also says: "The
bridge which dissects the painting divides the couple from the town
and thereby the storm." "All of this effort to reveal the
meaning of this sensational painting requires an intellectual approach
which is counter to the Venetian artistic tradition which was all about
spontaneity and depiction of emotion. " "As mentioned before
the bridge dissects the painting with the reality being depicted in
the top half with the town and the storm. The bottom half is the allegory/metaphor
with the pillars, Mother & child and man, tranquil & unaware
of what is being foretold." |
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Inspired
by the meeting and correspondence with Orr
Scharf, who works on "Franz Rosenzweig and the Bible",
I began to read "the Letters and Diaries", which I had edited
in the years 1965-67. A passage to his parents (Febr.10, 1906, when
he was hardly 19 years old) struck me. It was his second semester
as a student of medicine in Muenchen, i.e. "in the South of Germany"
! "... Ein Blatt wie der Simpel [=Simplicissimus, satirische Wochenzeitung] ist ueberhaupt in Sueddeutschland gar nicht so schaedlich, eben durch diese sueddeutsche Sinnesart, die sich den Geschmack an solch volkstuemlichen Sachen durchaus nicht rauben laesst durch die gelegentliche Verulkung. Bei uns allerdings koennte ein derartiger Ulk nur vergiftend wirken - - wenn etwas zum Vergiften da waere. Aber davon sind wir ja durch die preussische Nivellierungskunst befreit und Volk und Volkstuemliches sind Dinge, die nur hie und da mit Hilfe von staatszugeschossenen Vereinen geschuetzt werden, behufs stellenweiser Konservierung zwecks wissenschaftlicher Erforschung [note the parody of this kind of German language...] aber von wirklichem Volkstum ist nicht zu reden in einem Land, wo wir Gebildeten noch nicht mal Dialekt sprechen (I always hated the fact, that even after a long training in "Hoch-Deutsch" everyone can hear, that I grew up with Schwaebisch (despite my mothers "Hoch-Deutsch"). ....Deshalb bin ich heilfroh, hier unten zu sein; wenn es auch etwas lange gedauert hat, bis ich anfange mich etwas darein einzuleben...." Never did I ask myself, if "living in the South" has a meaning, until my neighbor Shalom ended a recent street conversation with "All people who live in the south (of Israel) are special". Why did my parents move from East-Germany to Stuttgart in South-Germany right before my birth in August 1938? And why am I now living in the South of Israel? Perhaps not only because of the Desert??? What about the ugly fame/shame of what a TV report calls "The State of South-Tel-Aviv"? |
Orr Scharf also sent me a photo of my father-in-love,which I never saw before.
Isn't this an opportunity to radiate my caring on Alon, his greatgrandson?
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It is not new to our family, that Alon, my son Immanuel's second child, looks strikingly similar to FR, though "in spirit" he seems to be the farest away from him.
Alon
is - among my 10 grandchildren - also from me "the farest away".
(2004, Father to Son: "If you want us to arrange a Bar-Mitzva celebration for you, I demand, that you visit Grandma in the desert for a few days and learn from her." Beneath a beautiful photo above the Salt Sea, the only one of this situation, I wrote: "Paz making fruit salad with my grandson Alon, on his 13th birthday, 2004_08_08. on "Rakhaf". While I couldn't find the way to his heart, Paz, who visited me "by chance" on that day, could!!" After this failure of both, grandma and grandson, Alon's Bar-Mitzva was not celebrated then. Only 3 months later the extended family came together in Alon's honor. I cherish the photos that were made then.... To show the similarity between the faces of Alon (22) and Franz (19), I entered Alon's album on Facebook with its numerous images and cropped his face from some of the scenes. But more important was, that the scenes themselves gave me a chance to feel a bit into the life Alon has lived and to radiate my love on him: |
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Dec. 2012 , with his youngest sister Mika, which is not the name of a tree, like Elah, Alon, Tomer, but of an integration of crystals and minerals.
The names of this branch of the Rosenzweig family:
I just learnt: When the Jews were evicted from Spain in 1492, a great many of them were accepted by Emanuel, the King of Portugal,
but when, only 5 years later, he wanted the marry the daughter of the Spanish King, the condition was that he would evict the Jews.
The solution Emanuel found, was to gather tens of thousands in a central plazza where thousands of priests sprinkled water on them:
"Now you are baptized, now you are Christians".
[That was 40 years before the Portugese Inquisition caught up with them, and acted more brutally than the Spanish one]
These "Marranos" (from the Hebrew word "mar'it ayin", i.e. "looking as if ...") had to take "Christian"names.
They choose the names of trees or animals,
and up to this day, the family name of a Portugese that signifies a tree, actually signifies Jewish ancestry.
This makes me think, yet another time, about the name Rosenzweig - rose-twig ! a flower-bush!
The way Jews in Germany were forced to buy "Christian" names was less "raping" than in Portugal,
where it's said that about 70% of the people have Jewish ancestry, most of them still afraid to admit it.
And yet - who of Alon's ancestors had the money to purchase the name "Rosenzweig"?
What makes me rejoice, is, that Immanuel called his first two children Elah and Alon,
[='desert oak' & 'stone oak': see their symbolic meaning in the Bible, Isaiah 6,13]
Tomer got his name from me: [the palmtree, under which sat the prophetess Deborah. Judges 4,5]
What happened in "my" garden a few years ago, was, that out of nowhere an Elah and an Alon grew out of the desert-soil.
Last year, when I installed a sprinkling system for my new trees and Passifloras, I included in it also the Elah and the Alon,
The big and the small palmtrees grew out of the ground as well and since they are "invaders" I don't water them at all.
Yet I keep them in shape! Just now my neighbor wanted 7 leaves that were overlapping into his garden, for his Succah .
It's not the kind of tamar that bears fruits (as the tamar among the Four Species - the motto of my book and my song),
but neither do the Elah and the Alon bear fruit which we can eat, and it's only a Bougainvilia in a pot, which gives them a bit of color.
But see the delicate buds of the Elah! And perhaps my tree-song [2013 songs May Nr. 3] will be fulfilled by these trees, too~
 
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More about Giorgione's Tempest and another passage
in the "Letters and Diaries" of Franz Rosenzweig
and more than one coincidence
After
I had completed the composition above, I suddenly came across Kilpatrick's 1997 interpretation "Hagar and the Angel in Giorgione's Tempest" ! This interpretation of the painting touches me even more because of my "relationship" with the Hagar-Yishma'el "code". (you'll soon see the painting above me bed...), and this after I - in having read on in the Letters & Diaries of Franz Rosenzweig - I reached the note, which Orr had mentioned in his letter to me: the note about the Well of the Living-One Who-Sees-Me. Since I'm loosing track anyway of the 'linear' way of proceding, I'll go "back" to "Biblical Sculptures>Hagar & Yishma'el"! |
Abstract:
"La Tempesta" remains a perennial riddle. .. This paper explores a biblical source in Genesis 16, Hagar's flight from Sarai. Giorgione would present a tableau of Hagar suckling Ishmael by a spring in the wilderness on the road to Shur, under the watchful protection of the messenger angel, costumed as a Renaissance soldier with lance. (Absence of angels' wings is common in Biblical texts and visual arts.) The bolt of lightning becomes a sign of God's power (Revelation and Psalms) and his covenant with Hagar and her offspring." No, I would say to Kilpatrick: not God's power, but a prophecy of future thunderstorms on both -Yitzkhaq and Yishma'el |
Postscriptum on September 24, 2013, 6th day
of Succot.
Though the entire website Healing-K.i.s.s becomes less and less linear,
I never felt so frustrated by not accomplishing a linear creation
as with regard to what I attempted to compose on the 2 pages:
The felt days 21, 22, 23, 24 ~ of the next 15 felt years
and the"Biblical
Sculpture" of "Hagar and Yishma'el".
What consoled me was, that
-when drawing a card from my heap of old postcards, as
I use to do every morning -
it was the turn of "Chagall's Self-Portrait
with 7 fingers", 1887.
Watching every detail of this painting, I suddenly understood,
that that's the way of painting not only in Chagall's pictures...
Sept. 24, 2013 - My letters to Orr
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