COMMUNICATIONS WITH     DEITY

last: 2002_06_02 ~~~ next: 2002_06_26



2002_06_16

Dear God

I feel heavy like a ship that sank to the bottom of the sea.
It's because of the "thing" you call Asuras or asuric essence,
that I'm approaching you and not the Mother.

I feel blocked and unable to even believe,
that there is a thing like that
leave alone start to learn about it.
It's contradicting everything I believe in,
It seems to throw me back into the dualistic split
of God, World and Man in which I was brought up,
and which I felt was wrong already at an early age.

"It is good, that you bring up all these fears first.
But you also feel,
that it's me who asks you to now open up to this "thing"."

I can't even imagine these creatures in Hell any longer,
since you use the term "Hell" to describe the state the Mother and Lost Will .
Nor should I associate any image of the devil or Satan with the Asuras,
though you yourself suddenly refer to the asuras a "Satan and his demons".

But in your concept the devils are something else,
and not at all congruent to our legends & archetypes.

"I feel your pressure, dear co-healer,
and I rejoice in your tears.

"Even if no one seems to understand,
or worse,
even if those who try, will misunderstand,
you are a hologram.
The breakthrough might depend on you, remember?"

I don't even have a hunch of a breakthrough.
And the ungraspable issue is not my only fear.
Since I'm learning and healing
in the "Circle of my Loving Dependency",
and since I've made up my mind
to let my life and my relationships be transparent,
I might do atrocious damage to my loved-ones,
if I'd mention how in them
I sometimes seem - seem - to encounter an asura.

If only I could watch myself from the outside
and see where and when an asura jumps on ME!

OH my God, I am so afraid.
And maybe it's just an obsession, a pattern again,
that makes me think of furthering my healing process
or more exact -
my process of getting a tiny glimpse of understanding
with the help of my grandchildren.
Maybe it's not at all necessary to do that.

"And rather stay on the safe side, right?"

Right.
And there is something else that impedes my venturing into that dark area:

I started to read a Hebrew booklet about Co-counseling
which Ra'ayah recommended as "really good".
But I feel in every sentence,
how far I've "strayed" from the original message of Harvey Jackins.
Because with all the acceptance of the feeling aspect,
and all the understanding about what to do with "bad" feelings,
the very terms: "discharge"
and "getting free of the feelings"
that "prevent" us from living "the good life"
seems to me to be just another put-down of the Mother.

I could see yesterday with Micha and Ra'ayah.
They really learnt much of the theory and apply it,
but they still try to teach the kids
"to yield to each other or to compromise".
and were surprised, when I said, that they teach them denial,
and that the better option is:
to share our wishes or needs correctly,
because then it often turns out that there is no conflict of interest at all
but if there is, then we have to make 1+1=3.

So if I even can't get through to them with this logical view,
how am I supposed to make "pure evil=asuras" graspable?
It's not that I'm so alone, that bothers me,
but that I'm not able to fulfil the task I came for.
OH God, can you comfort me?
Can you guide me to and through where I should walk now?

"I am here to catch your sobs .
Go on, cry, sigh, scream and yawn
as you learnt in your Co-counseling.
After all, it was me,
who brought this message to you at the right time.
And at that time you wouldn't have been able to grasp more, would you.
You are yawning like mad, how good.

But now see, that after a year
of not needing to care for your physical survival any longer,
and after a year of having practised and learnt all kinds of programs
that enable you to create this site,
and balancing so well between the four aspects of Deity
and between your life, your learning, your creating and your healing,

- you are ready to open up to this information,
so you can start to apply it
and deepen your healing and the healing of Creation.

Why was I interrupted twice?

It's a reflection of your resistance.

utilize all this space of the next 24 hours
in order to break through your resistance,
I'll be with you as always,
please be in continuous contact with me and with Body,
and Feel all there is to Feel.

OH, my God,
do you remember, how at school I would walk up the stairs
and see the prayer of Franciscus of Assisi opposite me on the wall,
and pray with it:
"Herr, mache mich zu einem Werkzeug deines Friedens..."

"You are more than an instrument, You are ME."

Why do I suddenly have these reminiscences of Franciscus of Assisi?
It made me search for him on the Internet
and find a German webside with the date of today!
It mentions St. Francis' teaching,
that one day the whole creation,
including the demon-angels
will be integrated as one united divine kingdom.
An angel, a Seraph, had revealed this to him.

At night.
After I had walked my path, and worked hard
on removing the dry, thorny djungel underneath my figtrees
and continued to saw off a not yet yielding thick dry branch.

This throws me right back into my resistance.

"It is my own resistance, which you reflect.
Your experience with studying the info about asuras today
made you face the probability,
that I, God, am not perfect
and that my understanding may lack logic.

I beg you to stop viewing me as an authority,
worse - as an infallible authority.
As I said: you are Me.
Also, my words are colored by the human channeler.
It is important,
that you are not a channeler in that sense,
but that you'll use your trained, experienced mind
in order to correct and to complete
the info about the Devils and the Asuras".

If anything, I'm more confused now.
And unlike on other evenings,
when I sculpt with images, words and sounds,
I am tired and want to go to sleep.
Who am I to complete that info?
You've definitely chosen the wrong person.
"We'll see about that!"