Bio-Grandmotherhood-Yael-3

Biographical Sculptures

Grand mother hood

Yael's
52 weeks or 365 days
of her seventh year

2003_05_11-13 ; Third of four Pages
First Page~~~Second Page~~~Fourth Page

November 24, 2002 - The dark season is an occasion to more often
frequent the costume chest, which has quite a history back to 1981.

December 1, 2002, Chanukka
It becomes darker outside and in my soul.
Maybe that's why after the elimination process
only this photo was left to present this month.
It was taken by Yael's uncle, my son Immanuel,
who had come for the routine visit to his kids,
but also for pushing through the arrangements
connected with "Grandma's Noon-School" .

This is the moment to ask myself,
into what role I've cast this actor in my drama.

If I follow Godchannel's - so plausible - info,
then it seems, that the role of Yael,
at least during the last almost two years, is
to balance the roles of the 4 older grandkids
and - in a completely different way -
the role of Tomer in the middle of the Nine.

I've not created a single trigger with Yael.
There is no "other side to the coin" of joy.

"All the World's a Movie Set

"...Imagine that in your venue
there is a film company producing a movie.
This is the movie of your life.
Over there talking with each other are
the producer, the director and the writer.
They're all you,
with slightly different functions.
Also there are the actors and actresses,
and of course you are the star, you're in every scene.

"Although it's not part
of ordinary awareness,
you're the producer, director, writer and star
of the movie of your life.

"At a deep unconscious level,
you've hired' the people in your life
to play various roles in your drama,
and you've done so
based on how convincing you thought they'd be
as the characters in the roles you've cast them.
When they're off the set of your movie,
all of these people have lives of their own.
When they come to work here, however,
they leave behind who they are when they are alone
and each becomes the character in the role
they have agreed to play for you.

"Each person in your life
is reflecting a part of yourself.
As long as they are guests in your venue,
whatever they do or say,
they are doing so
from the 'script' you've written
at a deep unconscious level.

"Of course they have hired you
to perform in each of their movies as well.
Each of them projects something different on you,
so you act a little differently when you're with each.

"Depending on the strength of their projection
and the difference in the roles,
you can find yourself feeling, thinking and acting
very differently with different people.
With some
you may feel very good about yourself
and what you do,
with others, quite the opposite.

"It's not that you are a different actor,
it's that you are playing
different characters or roles for different people
who have different kinds of parts projected onto you."

January 1, 2003
Staging has become Arnon's main vocation, and Yael is his most cooperative partner.
They produce, they direct, they write, they star and they cast each other and their siblings in the roles they want.

This is the opportunity to answer two question
which might come from some visitor who is a grandparent too:

What about the NOISE?
Hear for yourself, what I recorded at different occasions:
pp17b pp51
As hysterical as I am about "noise" (see my latest entry in pp13),
these kids' incessant talking, laughing, screaming never gets on my nerves.
Sometimes I listen and smile to myself,
remembering the incessant dire threats of my mother, when we but raised our voices a tiny bit:
"Soon Mrs. so and so will come in!"
(when we were squeezed into a flat with other people after the war)
or
"Soon Mr. so and so will come down!"
(when we finally had a flat of our own, but the landlord lived above us).

It's true, sometimes ingrained old fear comes up:
the neighbors downstairs will knock against the ceiling!
But in this house with 6 flats live 9 kids, who'll knock?

The second question might be about the MESS:
What does my flat look like "after"?

And how do I feel about the mess,
especially when I need to leave it until the next morning?

In some puzzle piece I tell, how I decided to avoid this kind of triggering.
After one terrible scene, I let go of educating them or even of helping ME.
Instead I told them how to manipulate grandma's feelings:

Each of the four kids is advised to ask me in the most charming way and voice:
"Grandma, would you please put everything in order?"

They remind each other, or if I have to make a hint, they quickly come and say the code.
Sometimes Arnon feels like doing part of the job and even gets Yael to help him.
But when they then ask me so sweetly, if I would finish it,
they never fail to win me over.

I feel then,
that my work for them is not "self-understood",
but received with gratitude.
And that's obviously all I need.

Is this last passage an appropriate transition to the year 2003?

January 1 and 16, 2003

Uri, Yael's father, came to repair my scanner.

What is she doing?

Who is Yael - when she is not in anyone's movie?

January 30, 2003
I hate,
when people
pose.
But this
hugging
was spontaneous, and only when they saw me with the camera they called:
"tzalmi otanu,
tzalmi otanu!"

Immanuel,
the uncle of
both
Yael and Arnon
was visiting,
and we
celebrated
his 40th
birthday,
loaden with
so much
meaning for me.

February 24, 2003

Arnon animates his co-workers
to make a tree with blessings, for it is Itamar's fifth birthday.

The trunk
I found at the SaltSea,
salted by sea water and at the same time rinsed by sweet spring water

March 3, 2003
She dances to a piece of music,
which she has named:
"when the rain stops and the sun shines".
She likes the bubbles on the photo.

April 2, 2003
I constantly discover, invent, create new spaces and opportunities for the kids.
Rather late, though, I found out, that I could actually open the blinds of the window, which closes the "mamaat",
[the room, which can be hermetically closed in case of a bio-chemical attack and which has to be built-in in each flat according to Israeli law].
In my flat this is one of 3 rooms and serves as bedroom for the kids.
Now they can climb in and out through the window, with mattresses inside the room and a bench against the wall on the veranda,
and the best of all - there is a broad window-sill, which allows to stage a new kind of theatre, in this case with a herd of dinosaurs.

April 2, 2003
The 2 first-graders can read now,
but Arnon reads better than Yael.
After teeth brushing
- instead of the usual choice
between watching a video
or hearing a story,
Arnon suggests to practise together. They leave Itamar and Ayelet
in the "mamaat"
and sit on my mattress.
Arnon is the gentlest of teachers.
As if there was no other book
in my house
- they again choose the story
about the moon and the tailor.

April 8, 2003
For the first time,
Yael brings a friend with her, Noam.
This and the photo below was shot
by Tomer in the week we parted.

April 6, 2002
Modi'in children eating cookies,
while sitting on an ancient cistern,
throwing stones in to its water

April 15, 2003
Towards the Future?
In ideal cooperation Yael and Arnon prepare a signboard,
which will invite "people" (Itamar, Ayelet and grandma) to their performance

PEACE-DANCE

to Yael's pages of 2003

2010
Yael's 14th birthday on May 9, 2010