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InteGRATion into
GRATeFULLness
Singing&Sounding keeps me Sound
| 2007_05_14  |
lyrics:
Bible from Psalm 62 |
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2
Only for God doth my soul wait in stillness; from Him cometh my liberation. 3 He only is my rock and my liberation, my high tower, I shall not collapse. 6 Only for God wait thou in stillness, my soul; for from Him cometh my hope. 7 He only is my rock and my liberation, my high tower, I shall not collapse. 8 Upon God resteth my liberation and my glory; the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God. 9 Trust in Him at all times, ye people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us. Selah |
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2010
 She writes "Mika" on a stone which she picked up from the ground |
 A moment later she enjoys a green fig which she plucked from a baby-tree |
2010_06_09-14:
Mika's and my Heaven-on-Earth
Since 2009_08_01,
I employ song-page after song-page for documenting and exploring the
evolution of Mika, the youngest of my 10 grandchilden,
who exemplifies to humankind by her own living-doing, how to PLAY-FULLY
CREATE from moment to moment ZEST-FULLY
and FULL-FILLED
"....Manifestation
is meant to be a playground
where being and doing are fun..."
[Godchannel,
Second Interview with the Folks]
I was supposed to come on June 11, 2010,
to replace my son during a 3 days flight to Bangkok,
but towards the evening of June 9 Immanuel called:
"El-Al want me to fly to Los-Angeles, tonight,
for 6 days."
So it was Efrat who fetched me from the train-station
on June 10.
"Mika is sick! Her throat is terribly red! She
fell asleep!"
Mika, straight from kindergarden, sat in her back-seat,
but her head fell forward time and again...
Arriving at Shoham we went straight to the doctor,
Efrat suspected: once more- streptococcos bacteria.
affirmed by a test which Efrat made in the Superpharm.
Again antibiotics, though the homeopathic doctor ,
who healed Mika's bad hearing, had warned her.
But what can a mother do,
when she gets warnings which oppose each other?
In the consumerist center of Shoham I get a chance
to at least watch Mika,
without being bellowed at by her ....
Her behavior of rejection does not hurt my ego,
as it causes me to ask, by what behavior or belief on my part I'm attracting
this?
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On this day Mika talks to Abbay by phone, - see
3 days later, when she talks to him via "Skype" on Imma's labtop.
As to her own computer, which "I'm allowed" to help her using,
listen to the camel-tone and the fun we had with it.
Thursday , June 10, 2010 : a crisis between mother and daughter
 In the morning Mika asked me to paint with her a "Marshmallow Gown" for her mother. I didn't do much except cutting out the holes for the arms according to the size pointed out by Mika. Since mother's arms didn't fit into the holes, we suggested she should wear the gown herself. But soon enough it only served as a cover for Nella... |
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After kindergarden Mika was invited to visit her
kindergarden mate Lin.
Her behavior there, as well as when her mother came to fetch her,
was complaining and "whining", to say the least.
Mother got very angry, also with regard to Mika's behavior towards me, Grandma,
and though Mika tried to please her with several of her charming manipulations,
including the painting of a lovely picture "for Imma",
Efrat would not forgive, not give in so fast this time.
She felt the need to be a boundary, in the terms
of my slogan:
"love means to be a space in which the loved one can grow,
love means also to be a boundary against which the loved one can grow"
Mika retreated to her room.
When things had become too quiet ,
I came out of my room and searched for her.
I found her asleep in the bedroom of her parents....
Later in the evening, when we were watching "A Star is born",
Efrat confessed with tears , how distraught and guilty she felt,
of having rejected her daughter like that.
"I feel like just taking her out of her
bed and lay her beside me!"
It was then, that I was inspired to tell her,
that "even if educating Mika will benefit
her on the long range,
it is more important that you feel good about yourself right now."
Following a remark of my daughter in an e-mail on that day,
I had just learnt about "beloved" Winnicott
- though only on Wikipedia -
and was impressed by his term of "the good-enough mother"...
I also begged her to share with Mika her own situation,
the dilemma, the confusion, the frustration, the helplessness.
"It will burden her!"
she opposed.
I got a bit angry: "I know, that everyone
says that!
But it burdens a child much more,
when it feels guilty for causing his mother pain!"
And I told about the devastating experiences of my own childhood...
Friday, June 11, 2010
In the morning I managed to meet Mika, before her mother
woke her up.
She put her head under the blanket, to avoid me - as so often,
but I simply picked her up, blanket and all, and carried her to her mother's
bed.
Hoping they would have that kind of talk I had hinted at the night before.
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And indeed, the routine "of getting ready for kindergarden"
was harmonious and joyful,
and one more - and last - time, I took photos of how mother and daughter enter
the car
The next time will already be in their new home - after I'll come back from
Europe in July.
Friday afternoon, after a nap, possible only on Friday and Shabbat,
Mika felt cooperative, co-creative
and asked me to help her prepare a "celebration" on "our" table in "my" room",
"it must be a surprise for Imma!" she stressed.
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Continuation of Mika's
"Heaven-on-Earth" , in March 2010, on the Song page of May
15, 2007 |