When night fell, it became chilly.
I wore nothing but shorts, a hat and a blouse,
which - unusual for me - bared my shoulders.
I tried to dig a bed into the sand of the wadi.
I gave up.
I walked through the night, south.
The wadi ended, I had to climb over hills.
On a slope I faced a hyena,
I shuddered.
With dawn I reached the border.
A small asphalt road, no fences,
but there would be patrols.
Far away I saw a car coming.
There were no shrubs to hide.
Hurriedly I crossed the 'border',
chased down a wadi into Egypt,
then slowed my steps, watching.
No one must spot me, careful!
At noon I found a cave high up under a ridge.
I hadn't slept the whole night, I needed rest.
But sleep was scarce and the water ran out.
What was I going to do about that?
I had gone through so many scenarios,
how I would find my way to the Gaza strip
and get friendly with people, hide and work,
but there I was stuck without water.
It was hot and dry in the Egyptian desert
on that Monday, the 29th of May 1995.
I hadn't been in "my
right mind" before this,
but what started to happen to my mind now,
I can only describe as
"an altered state of consciousness".
I'm not familier with drugs, alcohol, meditation.
I experienced something similar only once before,
when I learnt "Rebirthing"
and then only for hours.
This state held on for as long as I was in Egypt.
I finally stepped down from my cave
to the Bedouin camp I had spotted in a valley.
I approached them, asked for water,
and - if they would please be so kind -
and give me long trousers
and a kefiyeh to cover my shoulders.
Reluctantly the women came up with these items,
and immediately I felt as if protected by a hood.
One woman demanded to see my little bag.
I did not ask myself what she was looking for.
There was nothing in the bag
but tools to repair my bike,
and rags I'd found on my way
to keep me warm in another night.
They discarded the rags and returned my bag,
and probably wondered about my crazyness.
I was not aware of how I looked to them.
There was this kind bandage over my eyes.
I was invited to join the men in the madaafa.
They asked, I answered, I was cheerful.
I got water, and I was still not hungry.
Visitors walked in and out, it was night,
and one of them suggested a place to go.
Innocent as a child, I did not question it.
While driving through the desert night
he asked questions, and so did I.
For hours on end.
I could see, as I've seen so often,
that something was awakening in him,
a human being, a man, touched by me.
We came to a house somewhere,
he asked more questions,
and he noted my answers on paper.
I was surprised, and even more,
when we didn't stay there as promised.
Only later I put the pieces together.
He had lied to me from the start.
He wanted to lure me into the trap,
avoiding opposition and troubles.
And he succeeded
and I suspected nothing,
and he received what he hadn't looked for,
a glimpse into his true human self.
At 3 in the night, we arrived in a town.
I realized, I had a watch on my wrist.
What an important item in prison!
It was El-Arish as I found out later.
My driver shoved me into a large room.
I opened my eyes with childlike surprise.
Across a huge desk they were sitting,
"like inquisitors" I would have thought,
if not my mind was so open and loving.
The interrogation began.
I swiftly figured it out.
The Bedouins had sold me.
They were double informers,
as I heard later,
they also reported to Israel about me.
Tuesday night my loved-ones could relax.
The radio-news stopped describing a lost person.
My Arabic, which usually is so heavy,
flowed like a clear waterfall in spring.
My investigator became relaxed.
This was no routine business.
The interrogation became a dialog.
Towards dawn I simply asked,
if we could continue later,
since I hadn't slept for two nights.
He agreed.
and I was shown a dirty bed and blanket.
I didn't mind.
Everything was absolutely fine
the way it occurred.
There was a toilet in the floor
next to my detention room,
a luxury I didn't always have
in those 54 hours yet to come.
I was served breakfast, can you believe it?
I was served!
Again hours and hours of interrogation.
I enjoyed it.
Finally someone was listening to me.
Finally someone wanted to know all about me.
Finally I could outline all of my vision and theory.
When later that day I was served again food,
I dared to ask, if I could have also a newspaper.
I saw surprise, but I got an Egyptian newspaper.
This was a treasure valuable almost as water.
Now I could use the many waiting hours
and refresh my Arabic, internalize words,
I had forgotten, idioms, whole sentences.
I even came across interesting little news.
When we parted, we shook hands.
I looked into his eyes and asked:
"May I remember your name?"
"Fareed",
he said,
"fareed-min-nau'i'hi" I
stressed,
which means "unique in his kind".
His stern face showed a shiver,
"fareed-min-nau'i'hi", he
repeated,
as if waking up to himself.
I was brought to another place in town.
Many men were waiting for their interrogation.
"Aren't you bored by now
with this same newspaper?"
"I'm studying!" I said to the
man standing in line.
This minute 2003_05_25,
23:15
I read in an e-newspaper,
so easily available now:
For the first time an Israeli Government
has agreed
- though indirectly -
to the founding of a Palestinian state.
I've been advocating this,
working for this,
fighting for his,
suffering for this for 39 years~~~
