I focus my experiencing and awareness on being
"a pioneer of Evolution in
learning to feel":
I let my Body vibrate and my Heart 'womb'
pain, shame, fear, boredom, powerlessness,
so feelings can >heal >guide>fulfill>evolve,
and ~~~ offer ~~~"goldmines"~~~ to us all!! "I
want you to feel everything, every little thing!"
Biographical Sculptures
Grand mother hood
Jonathan April 2003
2003_06_19 ; completed: 2003_06_29
I cannot get enough of the ever new details with the slightest change
of the camera angle .
The translucence of the water, the fig tree, that
forgot it is a tree and instead climbs up and up as much as the water
falls down and down,
only Jonathan - I couldn't catch him off guard, since his hat was hiding
his face in a way, that I always needed to ask him to take his hat off.
Since eating is forbidden, and rightly so, we hid behind these rocks
to eat anyway.
On our way down we see the Sea, to which we are finally heading.
Jonathan looks up to the green island on the ridge, the park of the Ein-Gedi
Field-School,
from where I looked into Nakhal David at least once every single day
of my sojourn there.
But our eyes were not only wide open to the vast view down there.
We lowered them also to the beauty within the beauty at our feet:
and with hunters' eyes we watched a pair of tristram birds,
until I caught one of these black-orange singers in flight.
I told Jonathan, that they are indigenous to the SaltSea only.
The
tiny stream that falls over the triangle and "Shulamit's
Hair" above, squeezes itself through
these bolders,
causing a splash of water
which wets
the rocky ground for the Tristram to quench its thirst,
before it flies off.
One last time we lift our eyes to the mountains,
where David - when he did not yet know his future role - found refuge
in his plight and flight from Saul, the King.
"A psalm of David,
when he was in the Judaean desert,
Oh God, you are my God;
I yearn for you,
my soul thirsts for you,
my flesh longs for you
in a land so dry and tired,
without water...
my soul sticks to you,
and I am supported
by your right-hand" Psalm 63
When this tune came to me,
I was much further south,
about 20 km north of Eilat,
where I discovered "Little Petra"
a wadi similar to this one
amidst a desert of a different kind.
On May 30, 1998, Tamir and I
set out for our exodus from Eilat,
I drove my bus for the last time,
as I was soon to find out.
The first 25 km north we could take a dustroad , to escape the police,
but then the bus refused to go on.
It was the eve of the Eve of Shavuot
and I said to Tamir and a helper:
"Go home to your families,
and return after the festival.
I'll stay here - alone with the desert."
On my wanderings I discovered
"Little Petra", and it was there,
that I felt like David 3000 years ago.
2003_06_29 Strange things happened then, and since then.
And even when I wrote this sentence, another strange incident:
I wanted to apply a certain text style to it.
But when I touched the box with the list of styles, it disappeared.
I cannot retrieve it, even after I closed the computer.
How am I going to be content with this sculpture?
What does this mean?
All went well with this page about Jonathan until I reached the stage,
when we walked down to the Salt Sea.
Just like on that day, nothing happened as expected and promised.
And now - watching the photos of that part of our togetherness that
day - I find none of them attractive.
See how ugly my little pond appeared in Jonathan's eyes:
Again, what does this mean?
I'll translate from the letter to Jonathan's mother:
" We went to my springs.
What a shock!
There was someone!
A young thin woman smeared all over with grey mud,
chopped hair - naked.
She produced sounds like an angry dog before barking. All the time.
And she built a pond next to the sea, which will be ripped away until
the evening.
Perhaps she was a woman whose mind had gone mad.
"
I always sense,
that "the Mother", the female aspect of God, Feelings
and Desires,
found herself a physical place in the Salt Sea."
"I was irritated that we were not alone.
Why all these disturbances exactly when Jonathan is with me?
Later - just when we prepared to go,
and I had already made my peace with her presence
and even wanted to photograph her secretly, she disappeared.
She simply disappeared.
We saw no clothes or other equipment anywhere.
Only the pail with mud she
had used remained above her pond.
